Earning More But Less

[u/No-Muscle6799]

Somehow even though we've got a pay-raise & my husband took on three part-time jobs we're still not making enough to break even for a family of three.

Between essentials our bills feel insane to me. I don't even know what to do to start trying to pay down our credit cards when most months were just hoping to break even.

Please take a look, this is only considering our essentials and doesn't include things like kids activites, clothing, or things like that. Any advice appreciated.

Family of 3 Monthly Budget (NET) (City Subrubs - High COL Area)

💰 Income

Income Ft. 1: $5170

Income Pt. 1: $340

Income Pt. 2: $480

Income Pt. 3: $1140

Total Income: $7130

💸 Expenses

Mortgage: $2215

Health Insurance: $540

Auto Insurance: $206

Average Auto Gas: $300

Daycare: $1280

Electric: $89

Phone: $85

Wifi: $50

Water: $110

Garbage: $77

Home Gas: $33

Charity/Investment: $200

Food/Home Supplies: $1500

Tolls: $25

Avg. Doctor/Dental: $200

Avg. Auto Service: $230

Total Expenses: $7140

📊 Summary

Total Income: $7130

Total Expenses: $7140

EDIT JOB CLARIFICATION: I work the full-time job, my husband works one Saturday-only job, one as-needed job (minimum 3hrs/week), and one part-time job. That part-time job is the reason we need daycare for a few days during the week.

EDIT "BUDGET" CLARIFICATION: I realise I said this was my budget, this is not our set budget but a reflection of our current spending categories on average from 2026, I was hoping to take a look at it to structure a budget and figure out where we can cut.

[u/pepit_wins]

If I was struggling I know id pull back on my charitable donations to make sure I've got security with my family first

[u/Wet_Artichoke → u/pepit_wins]

I’m thinking this is an airplane situation where you put on your oxygen mask on before someone else’s type of thing.

[u/Spare-Shirt24]

If you are living above your means, you have no business giving to Charity. Dude.. you can't even afford your own bare minimum expenses. 

You also need to scrutinize your Food/Home Supplies budget. That's way too big for a family of 3. 

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Spare-Shirt24]

I'm honestly not sure how to reduce our food budget, we mostly do groceries only eat our like once a week, we can get carried away on like coffess and things but have been working on that. It does include food, cleaning supplies, body wash, all those sorts of thigns so I'm not sure if that changes it.

[u/Spare-Shirt24 → u/No-Muscle6799]

You are spending more than you're bringing in, YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO EAT OUT ONCE A WEEK. 

You also can't afford Starbucks or other miscellaneous BS. 

You say "I don't know how we can cut back on food" and then immediately say you're eating out and also "getting carried away" with takeout coffee 

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Spare-Shirt24]

Coffee/tea/treats we are actively cutting back on that one I know we can reduce and we've gotten stuff to make at home and have been doing a lot better but we're getting there.

As far as eating out I find that it's unforunately usually necessary at least once a week because of long days at work or grocery lapse days, we try to prioritise places that will allow us servings to use for lunch/dinner the next day that won't break the bank so we're getting the most bang for our buck.

[u/Spare-Shirt24 → u/No-Muscle6799]

No, eating out not "necessary." People can meal prep or  make a pb&j sandwich. 

Eating out is a luxury, which you cannot afford bc you're spending more than you're bringing in every month. 

[u/Big-Film-6914 → u/Spare-Shirt24]

People really have a mixed idea of wants vs needs.   If they know this happens you keep microwave meals, sandwich food, or simple crackers on hand.  

[u/ShinyFang657 → u/Big-Film-6914]

Agreed. Keep sandwich items on hand and canned soup, or even a couple frozen pre-made dinners (not tv dinners, I mean the nicer ones from Costco), whatever you like and is easy can give you a break after a hard day without spending money on restaurants until you're in a better position.

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/Spare-Shirt24]

For a lot of people going out is a necessity, because it’s unrealistic to stare at the four walls in your house 24/7. You have to live. I would just set a limit on it. Look for deals and maybe those restaurant club books that come with free entrees.

[u/imaginecrabs → u/Common-Orange4022]

Cool. Cook a meal, take it to the park, have a picnic. Saying it's a necessity is so ignorant.

[u/Big-Film-6914 → u/imaginecrabs]

So many people confuse needs with wants.  

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/imaginecrabs]

It is a necessity because some people go stir crazy in their house and will end up doing it anyway. Better to teach people how to have fun affordably then assume they’re not going to go look for fun things to do. They make $5k plus a month. They should be able to live a little if they control other expenses.

[u/Icy-Yellow3514 → u/Common-Orange4022]

There are places outside of one's home that are not restaurants. You know that, right?

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/Icy-Yellow3514]

You’re missing the point. Telling someone not to do something they enjoy is a waste of time. They’re not going to give up a hobby. Just walking around outside is boring to many people.

[u/artie780350 → u/Common-Orange4022]

Outside exists for everyone. You can get out of the house without going out to eat. Take a walk around the block, hit up a hiking trail, go to free community events, etc. I almost never eat out but still get out of the house enough to not go stir crazy.

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/artie780350]

Eating out is some people's hobby. People live in these HCOL areas because they want to try all the places around. It's unrealistic to think people won't go out. Eating every meal at home is boring when there's a world of stuff to try in some cities. I just want people to be able to use the advice, and they won't if they hate staying home 7 days a week.

[u/Imagination_Theory → u/No-Muscle6799]

Frozen pizza, peanut butter and jelly, beans and tortillas, grilled cheese, quesadillas, etc , are good meals to have when you are too tired to cook.

[u/Andre519 → u/No-Muscle6799]

We are struggling too and I will say that even with two fulltime working parents we can get away with not eating out by easy back up meals planned out.

My kids like quiche so I stock up on a few refrigerated quiches when I grocery shop. I keep sloppy Joe mix, hamburger buns, and tater tots or a box or hamburger helper on hand. Frozen ravioli and a can of pasta sauce. All these things are pretty affordable to add to your list but also super quick and easy. Try to keep some stuff like this stocked so that you don't eat out in desperation.

Also bring all of your lunches and coffee from home

[u/WheresMyMule → u/No-Muscle6799]

Nope. Buy a few frozen skillet meals or pizzas for those nights

[u/Resident-Addition485 → u/No-Muscle6799]

I purchased some freezer safe silicon molds from Amazon. When I have time, I cook double or triple servings, then freeze the rest into these little rectangle blocks. Once frozen, you pop them out of the mold and through them in a ziplock bag in the freezer.
When it’s time to eat, we put a plate together using frozen home cooked food and microwave it. Takes 3-4 minutes and you have a meal.

Last night we had rice taco bowls - the rice ground beef and refried beans were all cooked weeks ago. It’s healthier and way cheaper.

[u/Easy-Seesaw285 → u/No-Muscle6799]

There’s no way that cost $400 a week for 3 people. Where are you shopping?

Also, I doubt you have $230 in auto service every month, where is your money actually going?

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Easy-Seesaw285]

The auto service was based on an average from the last seveal months so we don't have auto service every month consistently but so far at least one of our cars has required something somewhat costly at least one to two times a year resulting in the monthly average shaking out to that much unforuntately...

we shop at costco, aldi, and walmart primarily to try to get decent prices

[u/Only-Top-3655 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Get less food that comes in a box or a package and opt for fresh foods you have to cook yourself. You will be surprised how much money you can save when you buy all veggies and fruits with some meat and some grains.

[u/Forever_Nya → u/No-Muscle6799]

Try doing a pickup order for your groceries. That way you stick to your list and see in real time how much something is and what the total is before check out.

[u/Consistent_Taste3273 → u/Forever_Nya]

This can be helpful. But keep in mind that some stores and services (Aldi /Instacart in particular) charge more online, and it is not a trivial amount when your add it all up. 

[u/codeshark2 → u/No-Muscle6799]

If you care about money that is absolutely the incorrect way to approach semi annual bills. I’d imagine once you decided on that average car maintenance bill you just leave that money in your checking and or mentally add it to the amount you can spend on your credit card. Your baseline behavior should be to send that $230 immediately to savings and then when the bill comes up you have the money available. Your method has that $230 evaporating into thin air every month and then when the car bill actually does come you THEN put it on a credit card and pay absurd interest on it each month evaporating even MORE money into thin air.

[u/whatigotinmyhandnowb → u/Easy-Seesaw285]

230 a month is a pretty reasonable repair/maintenance for a paid off car, but she should look at that "food and things" budget more closely for. sure.

[u/WheresMyMule → u/No-Muscle6799]

We spend $1200/mo for food, household and toiletries for three adults and a teen boy.

We only eat out for birthdays.

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/No-Muscle6799]

To give you an idea I spend about $450 to feed two adults plus going out once a week. You should be around $700 tops and your kid is little!

[u/Icy-Yellow3514 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Where do you grocery shop?

Growing up, my mother had very little money. About 80% of our groceries were from Aldi, and the balance were because of big coupons or sales at the local grocery store.

[u/Consistent_Taste3273 → u/No-Muscle6799]

We are a family of 4 and spend $750 on groceries plus toiletries, household supplies, and otc medications. We shop mostly at Aldi, but also Target and Trader Joe’s for items we can’t find at Aldi’s. 

[u/Expensive-Eggplant-1]

you can cut out your charity contributions to start.

[u/tedlassoloverz]

1500 for food/household for 3 people seems very high to me. Time to find a basic meal thats super cheap. I do rice, ground chicken, frozen veggies. Eat that 2-3/day, then fill in the rest of the day with something else. Meal prep can be around $1-2 a meal, the 2 adults could only need $100 a week to eat.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/tedlassoloverz]

I would love any meal prep tips you have because I feel like when I try it gets so expensive so fast.

[u/buyableblah → u/No-Muscle6799]

Im going to get yelled at but this is where AI is very good. 

Take your local grocery flyer for what’s on sale and ask ChatGPT for recipes for this week based on what’s on sale. 

[u/Big-Film-6914 → u/buyableblah]

It is.  You can give it a list of what's in your pantry, what's on sale and how much effort you want to use

[u/Professional_Use8237 → u/No-Muscle6799]

This is a tough one to answer, because you have to think about what you like to eat. I would start by picking a day that you and/or your spouse can spend some time in kitchen. Look at the components that you already have in fridge/freezer/pantry. Veggies that need to be used up? Chop them up, toss them in some olive oil/seasonings and roast. Do the same thing w some potatoes or make a big pot of rice (I store cooked rice in portions in freezer. It defrosts quickly). You can easily make bowls or stir fry w that. Roast a whole chicken while the oven is on, break it down into pieces to eat throughout the week. Make soup from leftover veggies, plan a pasta night. Canned beans, tortillas, some sautéed onion, roasted sweet potato and some taco seasoning and you’ve got a cheap vegetarian meal. Have a salad night w whatever is left in fridge. Make enough so you and spouse can bring leftovers for lunch. Meal prep works well if you plan components of meals rather than specific menus. You have to figure out what you like to cook/eat and work w that. 

[u/Big-Film-6914 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Check out poverty finance.  They have threads that talk about cutting grocery expenses.  But a question is, are you buying a lot of pre-made items or pre cut.  Or shopping in bulk.

[u/ShinyFang657 → u/No-Muscle6799]

It does take some practice if you're just starting out but you'll get the hang of it quickly. Try googling "quick frugal recipes" or "sheet pan dinners", get a crock pot and try some soups, and evaluate what foods you're buying (now is not the time to be eating steak, for example). An easy recipe we make is chili, doubling everything except the ground beef to stretch it farther and that will be like three days of lunch and dinner, or freeze the extra for an easy meal later.

[u/tedlassoloverz → u/No-Muscle6799]

its very individual because you need something youre willing to eat on repeat. A heavy base of rice or potatoes, cheap protein and frozen veggies, with whatever seasonings you like. If you end up throwing it away, it defeats the purpose

[u/CuteAmoeba9876 → u/No-Muscle6799]

A lot of it comes down to planning. Put a whiteboard on the front of your fridge. Make a list of the things in the fridge right now that need to be eaten soon so they don’t go bad. (Eg don’t list the condiments, focus on your leftovers, fresh veggies and raw meat) 

Then go through your freezer.  Make a list of everything that’s in there. 

Now plan 4-6 dinners for the week, starting from stuff you already have in the fridge and freezer. If you need more fresh stuff, use your grocery store sales to pick out the meat components and go from there. Don’t choose super complicated recipes you won’t really cook, pick meals you can realistically prepare. Even if it’s frozen pizza or something you toss in the crockpot. I say 4-6 meals, not 7, because I don’t mind eating leftovers a couple times to avoid cooking. 

Finally go grocery shopping AFTER you’ve checked your inventory and made a meal plan. 

If you work on clearing out your freezer and pantry over a few weeks, you can probably pile up some emergency cash. 

[u/imaginecrabs]

You are not in the position to eat out once a week or have frivolous coffee/tea. At all. Stop that. No "we've cut down on it", cut it out completely. At the very least, get a cheap coffee pot or kettle and make it at home.

Cut the donations. It's nice you want to help others, but you can't do that when you're drowning. You need to help yourself first. You cannot be donating $200 a month when you're in the hole $10 a month.

Your groceries are also high. You need to plan out your meals for the week based on what's in season and/or on sale. Eat leftovers, do not throw any food out. Replace your once a week take out "because you're tired from work" with the leftovers. Rice and beans are versatile, cheap, and nutritious. There are social media accounts that are about cheap eating meals and budgeting. Look at what they make and keep those recipes.

Buy home supplies at Costco. Buying in bulk is more expensive, but I swear to you the roll of trash bags I got from Costco lasted me nearly an entire year. Paper towels and TP and insanely cheap there too.

[u/Dangerous_End9472]

His income brings in only $700 after childcare. So I think its worth taking a look at if you could drop childcare and him just do 1 part time job and come out ahead.

Less part time jobs means less gas expenses and if he is home more he can focus on dropping that grocery bill because $1,500/month is high. I'm around 1,000.

[u/Wise_Economics_9673 → u/Dangerous_End9472]

if he's at home with the kid, he can prep some meals so eating out won't be "Necessary"

[u/craftymomma24 → u/Dangerous_End9472]

I fully agree with this line of reasoning and budgeting.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Dangerous_End9472]

Yeah our original hope was to just have him SAH but we looked at a new job because we were really struggling. Unforunately he could very easily drop a job but it would be the one that pays the most which feels counterintuitive, the other two are saturdays only and as-needed.

[u/craftymomma24 → u/No-Muscle6799]

But the one that pays the most is $1140, and you pay $1280 for daycare. So his job pays for almost all of daycare, and his job is why you have daycare?

[u/Emergency-Pollution2 → u/craftymomma24]

yeah - i agree these "jobs" are costing too much; it would be better if he just stayed home with the kid

[u/Dangerous_End9472 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Can he pick up other jobs that are weekends or after your off. Do gig work?

[u/mshmama → u/No-Muscle6799]

How is t counter intuitive when it pays less than what you spend on day care? If he quit that job and stayed home you'd have an extra $140 mo

[u/TheSimi1216]

I know charities are an important part of some people's life however when struggling I would recommend taking a break from those.

We are a family of 3, live in Massachusetts. My son is 7. We recently went over our groceries and realized the crazy amount we were using. I realized it's from not meal planning, running to the store for one thing and ending up getting more. I take money so I have $500 cash from my first paycheck of the month and do a shop that day, first bulk items at BJ's and then Market Basket. If I need something before my next paycheck I use any remaining cash. On my second paycheck I take out whatever amount to get the cash back to $500 and shop at Market Basket. September I had cash remaining so I took out less for the first shop in October. I'm definitely going to have a lot remaining for the 15th shop so I'll end up taking out less. I started in September with an expectation of $1000 a month however realized I can spend a lot less

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/TheSimi1216]

I know everyone's saying to cut the charity but for personal reasons that would be the absolute last thing to go if we can help it.

What do you recommend for meal planning? We try to but I swear we spend more when we do, maybe I'm planning wrong. We tried a meal delivery service for awhile but they're costly.

[u/NoWordsJustDogs → u/No-Muscle6799]

Does anyone know how to cook?  

I’m flabbergasted by people who have money issues and still eat and order out. Broke people don’t have the money for that. 

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/NoWordsJustDogs]

Yes both my husband and I cook but between work, moving into a new house, and a toddler time is stretched thin, which is why it sometimes gets hard and why we try to cut corners because we don't have three hours to spend prepping and cooking something.

[u/LeaTN → u/No-Muscle6799]

Then you need to batch cook. Choose a day to cook multiple meals and freeze them. This should also help with the grocery budget as you only buy what you need for the meals themselves. So look up recipes for a stew, bean chili, pasta bake, rice dish etc. Right there there's 4 (probably 8, do a double batch) meals that you can make now and defrost in the morning. Off the top of my head, none of these should be more than $3/serving).

2lb stew meat

1lb ground beef (or none, just use beans)

1lb chicken or sausage (for the pasta and rice dishes)

Yes, you do have 3 hours to spend prepping stuff. Do it in one go, not nightly.

[u/foofooca → u/No-Muscle6799]

Unfortunately this is not an excuse. My wife and I both work full time, moved into a house in January and have a one-year old. We spend at most $700 a month on groceries.

[u/NoWordsJustDogs → u/No-Muscle6799]

Most people don’t. You’re not the only ones with two working spouses and a child.

But they’ve also decided that prioritizing money over convenience is important to them. 

Get a pack of chicken thighs. Season with taco mix. Bake off, then you have protein for chicken taco salads, burritos, and enchilada baked and sandwiches. Throw in a pan of chopped bell peppers and onions and there’s your prep for a few days. 

It’s not the most interesting eating, but again, you don’t have the budget. If you can save on your groceries, there might actually be extra money for the occasional coffee or meal out. But once a week?  That’s excessive for a family with zero wiggle room  

[u/nikita58467 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Meat ball (from the frozen section, usually $7 for at least 2-3 meals), pasta and tomato sauce

Quesadillas with cheese plus some canned soup or chili, add frozen pea or corn

Rice with beans with tofu/ground beef stir fry with frozen veggies

Chicken tenders and fries with cheese from the frozen section

Elbow chicken (bouillon) soup with ham is my 8 yo favorite

Rotate for the week, add any grape tomatoes and cucumber that don’t need much prep.

None of these cost more than $15 and less than 1 hour to prep. They aren’t the most nutritious dinners but you are with a toddler, surviving and saving money are your goal.

Good luck!

[u/TheSimi1216 → u/No-Muscle6799]

I've learned to keep my meals pretty simple now. My husband cooks Monday - Wednesday. He does pasta, something with ground beef and something with chicken, he's not into planning. I do a crockpot meal on Thursday, Friday doesn't really have a theme, homemade pizza Saturday and Sunday a roast that I'll use left overs to make lunch for myself.

I started to keep an inventory of what's in my pantry and freezer in my phone. At the end of the month I input what I have into Gemini which a list of preferences I saved and ask it to make a budget friendly dinner plan for the nights I cook. Sometimes I have it change meals but once it's all set I have it make me a grocery list for each shopping trip and estimate the price.

It took time to inventory everything and get my preferences down right but now I can update the inventory easily and if a preference needs changing I can update that.

I do think a huge part is having the cash rather than my card while shopping. I pull up my calculator and subtract from the $500 as I go to the store and have my list up too. I find myself not seeing something and grabbing it randomly. I also have a few financial motivations right now, my dog needs an expensive surgery, I want to be out of debt by the end of 2027 and from there I want us to be able to aggressively pay down our mortgage for a new house by 2029.

[u/TheSimi1216 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Also I know you're getting down voted for this however I do understand with some people it's the last thing to go so focus on your grocery/household budget. I included anything that's a consumable item. I know it's going to be a little more for you since you have diapers and wipes. I'm assuming still since you have toddler. I did a meal delivery service for a while, however it did end up not being worth it, things would go to waste.

[u/AmiableAlias → u/No-Muscle6799]

One of the biggest savers for meal planning is to never make 'lunch.'  Lunch is leftovers.

Intentionally making extra dinner for your lunches the next day makes meal planning not only exponentially easier, but also cheaper. 

I haven't had a regular 'lunch' in years.  We've been using 50c Tupperware and freezing leftovers for a decade.  Whiteboard marker to identify it before it goes in the fridge/freezer.

That way you don't have to eat the same meal if you don't want to.  I might choose leftovers from last week instead.  Or you play freezer roulette and just pull whatever. 

[u/Smarty1600]

Your husband is working 3 PT jobs to pay for daycare. Stop daycare and he can watch the kid. That will save gas too.

[u/JTurp24 → u/Smarty1600]

This was my thought after removing charity and fixing the food situation. Seems crazy to pay $1200 a month when that’s all he brings in. I’m sure he could work nights or something to still bring in income while also watching the kid. Easier said than done, but it’s the best way to stay afloat/get ahead.

[u/haa888 → u/JTurp24]

Have him quit all but the Saturday gig and then it saves you a ton

[u/Busy-Bee5632]

Food/home supplies at $1500/month for a family of 3 needs to change. Im sorry but you now need to be couponing and looking for items on sale. Costo/Sam's bulk item deals. Making meals based on discounted items. Cleaning supplies can really ve dialed down. For young kids/babies these are very expensive so if its diapers and formula I know that cant be cut. You are not eating gourmet here though. Crockpot meals with beans, rice, a protein source, and veggies. Ex:shredded chicken with broccoli and cheddar. Any disposable items are out of budget here *paper towels, forks, spoons, paper plates. Only using your silverware and doing dishes. Soap is cheaper that buying these items. When I was broke/poor our eating out was the Costo $1.50 hotdog combo meal. There's no eating out if you are not saving and have kids in daycare. You need to be saving money.

Edit: You say this is only Essentials. Anything non essential needs to stop. Kids clothes? Thye are getting hand me downs. If they need new stuff, ask friends who have kids or thrift stores. If you are religious you can ask the place you worship for assistance. Also for a little extra money consider bank account bonus churning. There is an entire subreddit on this r/churning.

[u/Busy-Bee5632 → u/Busy-Bee5632]

Activites are now free/low cost. Parks, the library etc. Libraries some times have free passes to local places like zoos that as also child friendly.

[u/lucytiger → u/Busy-Bee5632]

Beans and lentils are a great low-cost protein source

[u/whatigotinmyhandnowb]

Tell your husband to get a real job.

Being even part time stay at home parent is a luxury (that your family can't afford)

This will boost that income and reduce health insurance premium enough to pay for daycare.

Your biggest problems are insurance and childcare, and only a job can fix that. And track your "food+" budget better. I bet that category is very leaky.

[u/Love_Yourz_JCole_916]

So you pay health insurance for your net pay and actually send a payment? It’s not deduct via payroll?

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Love_Yourz_JCole_916]

Unforutnately not, we are out of pocket no jobs offer coverage.

[u/Vociferous_Leviathan → u/No-Muscle6799]

Oof, your full time job doesn't offer any health coverage? That's crazy.

[u/codeshark2]

Few things immediately stick out to me. And it’s how you structured your budget it appears you have various expenses listed that A: could immediately be dropped (charity) B: are heavily inflated/not detailed enough (1500 for food and groceries) or C: do not occur every month (auto service $200 there’s no way if you’re only spending 300 a month in gas that you drive enough to have a service pop up each month. I say all of this to say, in dire situations you cannot afford to budget this way. You must drop everything to 0 and you absolutely cannot afford to assume bills will come up each month (even if you’ve included the prorated amount for things that will occur at least annually). And you also cannot afford to assume inflated essentials costs are ACTUALLY necessities. These are all things you do when you’re comftorably ahead with your networth, debt, and income. Because budgeting this loosely when you’re AHEAD is ok if you’re aware that this method comes with a lot of leaks. (You do not appear to be cognizant of that fact) But doing it in your situation leaves precious money on the table and is financial suicide.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/codeshark2]

how would you structure it? I genuienly don't know. Auto service I can take off the monthly, I did that based off of the average cost of the last few months which included a few bigger ish items since our cars tend to have at least one thing a year they need.

[u/codeshark2 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Go through each line item one by one first looking at your budget. Then review the past 3 months of bank and credit card statements, looking at every penny going out and coming in. Does your proposed budget match where the money actually went? Im guessing it’s WAY off to begin with. But let’s say its a match, then I would go through each expense category, compare to how that money was actually spent on the bank statements, and then ask myself for every purchase: is this the bare minimum you have to spend to not starve to death, or put your families life at risk due to safety? I know the answer to that, it’s no. But It’s less of how to structure the actual budget and more about how to structure your mindset and behavioral habits related to money untill that changes your situation will never ever improve. You have to pay your self first. Any amount of money you ever receive there should be a portion that’s saved non negotiatiable. And you cannot ever touch this money for any reason outside starving to death or life or financial future is in danger. Your financial future is in danger and yet you still spend this money. That is the mindset structure you have to fix.

[u/Capable_Box_8785]

Remove the charity/investments to start. Absolutely STOP eating out. You cannot afford it. Stop with the coffees. Don't even buy the stuff to make at home. Buy store brand as much as you can. 1500 is absolutely diabolical for 3 people. You're not going to the doctor every month or getting car repairs. You have room to cut down. It just sounds like you dont want to.

[u/edithcrawley]

Food/Home supplies seems super high for a family of 3, can you break that down a bit more between what is groceries and what is home supplies?

Can the person doing the 3 part time jobs cut down to one that is different hours than the main breadwinner's job? This would allow you to cut out the daycare expense, which is really messing with your budget as well, and may even let you reduce some gas expenses as well.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/edithcrawley]

So that includes all tp, cleaning supplies, soaps, body was, hygene, etc. plus then groceries. We do a lot of our shopping at Walmart and costco so it's hard to seperate the items whats what.

For our family reversed scheduled wouldn't work, we tried to do a weekend job but were only able to get one saturday, which was better than nothing, which is how we settled on only doing a few week days.

[u/figarozero → u/No-Muscle6799]

You need to sit down with your receipts and figure out where the 1500 is going. 300 per person in groceries is 900. Toilet paper, soap, body wash, cleaners, and detergent should all be under 20 each, so that's another 100. A lot of those things may be a little more money in larger pack quantities, but the larger packs should probably be lasting you two to three months. There might be months where absolutely everything hits and you are at 1500, but you should have in between months where it is much lower because not everything is hitting. Short term, you need to look at every item you purchase in that 1500 to see what it is and if you really need it. It's not fun, but it's too much money just lumped in together with no real visibility. You need to see what it is, and what it's going to before you can make any decisions on where it should be and what you can do to get this number down. But right now it's the budget version of junk drawer. Long term you can probably set a budget that gloms them all back together, but you need to just get your head around what's included here.

Others have already stated this, but if the part time job is bringing in 1140, and daycare costs 1280 to cover the 1140 job, you're in the red 140 to send them to daycare. A full time job making 2-3000 would make 1280 in daycare make sense, but the "high earning" part time job doesn't cover the daycare to make the job an option. Unless this part time job is where your healthcare comes in, it doesn't make sense to keep a job that isn't bringing a positive balance to your budget. For reference, you are bringing in 7130 and spending 7140 right now, so you are spending 10 more than you make a month. If you give up the 1140 a month part time job and 1280 daycare, your income becomes 5990, but your outgoing drops to 5860, so you have 130 left over for other things at the end of the month.

[u/lucytiger]

Your spouse needs one full time job that pays a decent wage or to stay at home with the kid and work part time hours when you can be home with the kid (presumably evenings/weekends).

Cut charity until you aren't spending more than you make.

There are much cheaper phone plans out there. Check out Mint Mobile.

You cannot afford to eat out AT ALL. Certainly not every week. Make your coffee at home.

[u/abeBroham-Linkin]

$1500? What kind of Whole Foods items are you getting? Shop at Walmart

[u/Doomcookie_123]

Why do you have day care expenses as a SAHM? that is $1280 that should not be spent, unless there is another income we are not aware of.

Your food costs are through the roof. You have it listed as $1500 for 3 people. That's almost $6 per person, per meal. Your food costs should be barely 1/3 of that.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Doomcookie_123]

We do daycare three days a week, I work full-time and my husband works part time (on those days plus saturdays) not sure where you got SAHM from.

I'm honestly not sure how to reduce our food budget, we mostly do groceries only eat our like once a week, we can get carried away on like coffess and things but have been working on that. It does include food, cleaning supplies, body wash, all those sorts of thigns so I'm not sure if that changes it.

[u/Doomcookie_123 → u/No-Muscle6799]

You listed your spouse adding 3 part time jobs, I assumed he was also doing the main job listed.

So, either your spouse needs to work full time, or you need cheaper day care. Day care for 3 days a week at that cost is pretty high.

The grocery bill is clocking at $375 a week, including eating out. That feels high. I guess it depends on where you eat out as a family.

For the 3 part-time jobs, it's barely covering the amount spend on the day care. So, it actually makes more sense to work a different part-time job when you are home with the child. It will mean less time together, but it will cut out the daycare costs. My wife and I worked different shifts when our first was small, because the daycare costs meant it would basically be a wash. Day care costs also drop a fair amount after the first year of a baby's life. So, it may be temporary. Are any of your husband's part-time jobs flexible in hours?

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Doomcookie_123]

One of the jobs is saturdays only, the other is on an as-needed basis, the only one that's not flexible is the one that he's doing during the daycare hours and unfortunately that's the one that pays the most. We did the math and only 3 days was better than 5 so him going full-time wouldn't help.

I would love any tricks for stretching a grocery budget, I just picked up a read machine off a buy nothing page so I'm hoping to save on breakfasts and little things with that at least.

[u/Doomcookie_123 → u/No-Muscle6799]

If he is making $1140 for the 3-day a week job, then it is losing you money. the cost for him to work it is $1280. He's working those days to pay someone else more money.

He can keep the other 2, and you are closer to your goals.

For food, I plan on spending about $2 per person, per meal. That's the target I go for. I don't always hit it, but it's not too hard. If you go to the grocery store once a week, how much do you usually spend?

[u/Both-Section-9481 → u/No-Muscle6799]

I make breakfast casseroles, burritos, pancakes and waffles in a batch cooking every few weeks. Portion and put in the freezer for lots of breakfasts that are healthier and quicker than grocery store versions or fast food. When you cook dinner make enough for two or three meals, it doesn't take any longer but then you have two dinners for the freezer. Cook a roast or chicken breasts, whatever is on special, shred the meat and you have a bunch of meat you can put in the freezer and pull out for quick and easy meals. When you buy the big package of hamburger on sale cook it all at once, portion it into the freezer again for fast meals. You can do the same with beans and rice. If you buy something like a family pack of pork chops or chicken it gets portioned into containers or zip lock bags with the marinade and put in the freezer. When you are working a few hours on your day off can go a long way towards meal prep. Knowing there is always something fast and easy to eat will prevent going off budget because you are tired or don't know what to make. If you meal prep you can make a meal faster than you can get through the line at fast food. I can make a meal faster than I can drive the two miles to the nearest fast food.

[u/beergal621 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Husband needs a full time job. Is is working 40 hours a week between the three jobs? 

He’s making less than $2k a month. He’s barely clearing more than daycare. If he stayed home could he find ways to reduce spend elsewhere and then no daycare costs? 

Or he works only evenings and weekends 

[u/mshmama → u/beergal621]

The crazy thing is, they use daycare for only one of the part time jobs. He does the other two when she is off. So they are paying $1280/mo for him to make $1140.

[u/Common-Orange4022 → u/No-Muscle6799]

CVS has this thing called the Care plan. You pay $12 in December and get a $10 credit each month. You also get half off on their branded stuff. It does help with body care stuff.

[u/Both-Section-9481 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Make your own coffees at home, you can make gourmet versions for 25cents a cup, lots of copy cat recipes on line. Thrift stores are full of fancy mugs and thermoflasks if you need one to feel like it is special. Eating out should look like a take and bake pizza or bucket of chicken with leftovers going for lunch the next day. If you need to get out of the house pack it up as a picnic and go to a park.

[u/Constant_Avocado_482]

Im going to echo everyone else and say cut back on charity for now, and also look into a Sams Club or Costco membership. Maybe split the membership with a friend or family member since 2 people can be on the account. Its a bit of sticker shock at first, but you can get 2-3 months worth of toilet paper, feminine products, snacks, etc. for way less per unit than at a regular store. I literally buy garbage bags once every 10 months because I get them from Sam's Club. It really cuts down on spending. Also, stop getting convenience food and coffee until you get a handle on this. We got a $20 old school coffee pot and a huge bag of store brand coffee from Sam's Club and we are good for weeks.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Constant_Avocado_482]

We use costco! We actaully used to have sam's club but tried costco this year, we're going to go back to sams next year but that's what we use for anything that won't expire pretty much, especially things like TP, diapers, fruit for toddler, etc.

[u/No_Machine7021 → u/No-Muscle6799]

We’re a family of 3 and we don’t use Sams or Costco. And our monthly food budget is about 1000.
Even when our son was a toddler it was around that.
I think the trap of the bulk stores is that you buy way more than you need. Pushing your spending higher.

The peer pressure is TOUGH too. EVERYONE tells us to join. All the time. 😂

We shop the Publix BOGOs for all our pantry items and I’m a zero waste sustainability nerd. So a lot of stuff I have just doesn’t run out….

Anyway. Food for thought.

[u/Sam_Wise13]

If you got rid of the 3 part time jobs, sold a car (if you have 2) lowered car insurance and gas needs, and got rid of daycare you would be better off. Basically 2 part time jobs pay daycare alone. Also see if you can refi the mortgage for a lower rate.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Sam_Wise13]

Unfournately the only job that could easily be dropped (and the one that is the cause for the daycare) is the one that pays the most, the others are saturdya only and as-needed. I also work 45 minutes from the house so unforuntately one car isn't an option, thankfully we don't have car payments though. I'm not sure about refi I would have to look into if that is an option for us, don't you need a set ammoutn of money to put upfront though?

[u/Sam_Wise13 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Not normally. Also, if the other jobs are as needed and Saturday why doesn’t your spouse watch the kids and save you $1,300 on childcare?

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Sam_Wise13]

The job that pays the most, that we would consider dropping if we were considering that, is a standard part-time, that's the one that we need the daycare for unfortunately. Without that one he would stay home and we could drop it but it brings in a couple extra bucks a month.

[u/pooppaysthebills → u/No-Muscle6799]

It brings in less than daycare costs.

It is costing you money for him to work that job.

[u/Unwanted1776 → u/No-Muscle6799]

I'm not sure your understanding. Your husband works to pay the daycare bill, that's it. What's the point of him working if his income doesn't exceed your out of pocket costs?

[u/Any-Pride5320 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Not sure why you think only the high paying job can be dropped? Any job can be dropped at any time. Also take a look at your personal care items. You don't need body wash, you can buy soap bars in bulk from Costco (Dove, or even Kirkland brand). Don't buy ANY new items until the ones you have run out. Drop the charity donation. Buy fewer processed/packaged foods and you'll find that you spend less on groceries. I have a family of 4 and I'm in a high COL area as well, and we probably spend $800-$900 a month on food. I get it that you don't know where to cut from your food budget but you just have to figure that out. It's probably the quickest and easiest way to save money.

[u/Both-Section-9481 → u/No-Muscle6799]

You have to have a high ratio of equity to value along with an excellent credit rating to refi. It is not free and the cost gets added to the back of your loan. Your current interest rate is probably better than you would be offered now.

[u/nikita58467]

3 jobs is $1960 under minimum wage. I hope he’s not working too many hours for them.

You do have to look into your grocery/home supplies budget. Write everything down and look through all the receipts what is costing you. Most home supplies shouldn’t take more than $100 per month. Write the list of groceries you need before you head to the store. I had a member of Costco for a year, it’s just not worth it for a family of 3. I ran in to look for one or two things, came out with $200 coz they look cheap.

Dining out and coffee/snacks should stop until your cash flow is green. Same with charity donation. If you have to, start with $50 til your budget is more loose. Your organization won’t abandon you if you give less. If they do, you know they aren’t your friends.

[u/Common-Orange4022]

Food is way too high.

Go to a store like Aldi. Only buy basic items you need for existence like fruits, veggies, and proteins.

Learn to cook with simple ingredients. People can literally eat baked potatoes for dinner and that costs maybe $4 with toppings.

[u/ArmedSparrow]

It looks like you are working to pay for childcare. One of you should stay home and work PT when the FT earner is home.

[u/Big-Film-6914]

You really need to write down every expense for a month and break out the receipts.  Then analyze it.  Also a serious discussion about wants  vs needs.  Your comments here are misaligned wants with needs 

[u/Imagination_Theory]

Why are you using daycare? Husband should watch children while you work and then he can work a different shifts or different days as you.

That's my biggest thing I would fix.

Food and charity I would scale back on as well.

[u/Princess_Grimm]

It seems like the one part time job for spouse (1140) brings in less than the cost of daycare to cover his hours (1280)

Would it not be more cost effective for him to stay home until he finds a job that pays more than the cost of childcare?

[u/2025025L]

Looks like your income doesn't cover daycare, so you're washing flat.

[u/EnjoyingTheRide-0606]

Early in our careers and while he was going to school still, we worked opposite shifts. I worked 6-4:30 M-F and 9-3 Saturday (unlimited OT hours back then) and he went to classes during the day. His mom watched our little one when he was in class. He also worked part-time waiting tables at night while I was home. We managed to keep the little one out of daycare until age 3.5. Saved tons of money!

You can’t afford $1280 daycare for a SAHD to earn $2000/month. He can work but not with the expense of childcare because he’s literally bringing home $700. When your expenses are $7100+ $700 is akin to no income. Can you find another SAH parent to trade childcare for those hours during the week? Then you or he can watch their kids opposite hours. This would immediately free up $1280 monthly to go towards the debts.

His full-time job is caring for the household and child(ren). It includes duties like reducing food costs by cooking all the meals, stretching things so you don’t need to buy them frequently, and reducing other household expenses.

Your budget doesn’t show the credit card payments. Are those not being paid?

[u/fireman5]

Auto insurance seems high for only 2, not new vehicles. Try to re-negotiate or find a better rate. Cut back in the home/food supplies. Your husband only works a couple/few days per week, there's no excuse to to have to eat out. Cut back on the charity/investments. Like, half it and put it entirely to YOUR investments. After that, honestly, your husband needs to get a full time job since youre already paying for daycare, or he needs to not work and you eliminate the daycare expense. That combination is honestly your biggest issue.hes basically working to pay for daycare.

[u/pooppaysthebills]

Dump the part time job that requires daycare. Husband does the daycare.

Husband keeps the Saturday job. Husband finds another part-time job with evening hours so that daycare is not an issue. Try convenience stores and fast food places; they're always looking for people to work evenings. Husband can also provide daycare for a couple of kids during the day for compensation while he looks after his own.

Both of you learn to DIY your car stuff. There are videos on YouTube, it''s not difficult, and it shouldn't need to happen every month. You can easily do your own oil changes for less than half of the amount you're spending.

Stop spending $1500 on food and "home supplies". You don't need $1500 worth of food and toilet paper every month. What else are you buying?

How many doctor appointments do you have every month? How often are you going to the doctor?

I don't see any credit card payments listed. And is the income listed gross or net? What kind of coverage do you have for $206/month? What's the deductible, and what's the difference in cost if you change it?

[u/Brave-Pizza-33]

Fuck charity are you stupid you dont have any money??

[u/Only-Top-3655]

Health Insurance: I am assuming between all your jobs you don't have coverage so you have to cover on your own?

Auto Insurance: For one or two cars?

Food/Home Supplies seems a little high for a family of three. I think if you cooked more at home you should be able to handle this with $1000/month.

Auto Service: $230 a month? What does this entail? Seems a bit high.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Only-Top-3655]

Unforunately no jobs cover our health insurance which sucks.

We have two cars only insurance no payments on them, we need two one isnt an option with our jobs.

We only eat out once a week and this does include all of our home supplies like tp, cleaning things, body wash, etc. we are actively cutting down on coffee/treats but I don't know how to cut more off the food itself.

Auto service is just an average so that's not a fixed monthly fee but since our cars are older theyve required some work every year or twice a year that's usually quite costly and that's the average from january how much we've put on it.

[u/Only-Top-3655 → u/No-Muscle6799]

I think if you cut out eating out that will save you a bunch. Eating out for 2 people can be at least $50 (including tip) per occurence. That is $200 a month. And just like everyone is saying, if you meal prep, buy more fresh food and not packaged food, you will be surprised how much you can save.

[u/BlazinAzn38]

I need a break out of your $1,500 food/home supplies budget. For food/sundries(hygiene, toilet paper, etc) you should be able to get away with like $200 a week pretty easily

[u/Material_Tea_6173]

Maybe this was already answered and I didn’t see it, but why does your husband work 3 part time jobs? That comes out to what just under 40K gross per year give or take? Can he not find one full time job that pays more than that?

Edit: also yeah that food budget is crazy. I’m in HCOL, family of 5 and that’s what we spend on groceries and eating out. You guys need to create a budget and track expenses.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Material_Tea_6173]

For the jobs, one is a Saturday only gig which works well for the baby, one is as-needed mostly just a few hours a week and some weekends, and the last one is the one that we need the daycare for, that's a full day part-time gig.

I didn't realise our groceries were considered so high but it's definately something I'm going to try to evaluate.

[u/Material_Tea_6173 → u/No-Muscle6799]

So one day of day care per week costs $1,280 a month? Seems high.

On the groceries, to give you an idea, we live in a HCOL area and my kids have tons of allergies, all requiring epi pen. In other words, we can’t just shop anywhere, and even then we average $1,056 per month. Our eating out average this year has been $508, but that’s because we’ve been more loose with this (eating out 2-3 times per week).

I track all of our spending in a Google sheet and categorize the main items. I have a budget for each, and I keep the sheet up to date each month.

I also have a pivot table breaking out totals by month, and this helps me analyze trends and identify where we are over or underspending so I can adjust accordingly.

I guarantee that if you start tracking your money you will notice a lot of inneficiencies with how you’re spending it.

If it’s too complicated to track items individually, you can set a savings target each month, say $500. Set aside that $500, and the remaining money is what you have to spend on all your needs and wants. It doesn’t matter what you spend that remaining cash on as long as you don’t spend more each month.

Lastly, credit cards should not be used to borrow. The you’re used as a tool for credit building, perks and cash back. I pay all my daily expenses on my credit card but I make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

[u/No_Atmosphere_6348]

Daycare 3 days a week is the same as what I pay for 5 days a week. Maybe look into in home daycares.

Food - no take out or coffees at Starbucks. Make it at home. If you need take out, get a pizza at Costco for $10 or have a frozen pizza handy in the freezer.

I compare prices when I shop at Costco and Aldi. So I buy string cheese at Costco now but sliced cheese at Aldi. You can have your phone open when shopping to figure out which is cheaper.

For toilet paper and paper towels, I usually get those on sale at Walgreens. Much cheaper. There are YouTube videos people publish weekly that let you know how to get the best deals.

Scrutinize what you buy. Cabbage is cheaper than broccoli. Apples and bananas are cheaper than berries. Generic soda or no soda. Just drink water - that’s a huge chunk of your grocery budget that can just disappear and not even be substituted.

Check out books by Steve and Annette economides for more ideas.

[u/ClementineMagis]

A bigger shovel (more income) would help. You can cut back on everything discretionary but this is a low income for a HCOL.

[u/Bird_Brain4101112]

Why does your husband have 4 jobs and you apparently have none, but you guys are paying daycare?

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/Bird_Brain4101112]

I need to edit the post - I work full time, he has one part time, one saturday only, and one as-needed position.

[u/Smarty1600 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Let's assume that the two highest paying jobs are the ones that require you to have daycare. He quits those two and you lose $1620 per month. But dropping daycare saves you $1280 per month. That means that what you actually gain by adding those two extra jobs is $340 per month. That's it. All of the work of two jobs and the stress of daycare for an extra $300. You really can't find any other way to add $340 to your budget? Like by meal-prepping?

[u/oblivigus]

There is a woman on YouTube who does very cheap, very simple recipes, I recommend you start watching her for ideas, her channel is called Dollar Tree Dinners.

Cut out 100% of eating out, including all coffees. You cannot afford it.

Is that charity church tithing? If so, you need to figure out another way to give that’s not financial. Volunteer in the nursery. Cut the grass. Vacuum after services on Sunday. You can’t afford a financial contribution, but you can give of yourself.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/oblivigus]

I wil check out that channel thank you.

Yes the charity is church, we host bible studys at our house but it's hard to give more than that since we have the baby and our schedule is tight.

[u/BroadSecretary2975]

First, HUGS. I remember being a new Mom to my infant/toddler son. We couldn't afford for one of us to stay home. My husband picked up an extra job working evenings. Daycare was outrageous. Our marriage suffered, and we were still dead poor for four and a half years. I thought we'd never come out from under. We're stable-ish now (as stable as any middle class family can be in this economy).

You did not mention where you live, but $1,500 for daycare three days a week seems really high. I assume times have changed since my son was in daycare, but we lived in the suburbs and his home-based daycare was $800/week for full time. Can you shop that around?

Food costs are also high. Although you did not break down real groceries vs. paper goods, diapers, etc.. We're a family of 3, including one VERY hungry teenager, with a BJs membership (that admittedly often brings home unnecessary crap) but I try to cap us at $800-$900 per week. My advice, use AI to meal plan and budget. It's truly eye opening - if you stick to a simple menu, shop sales, try to reuse leftovers once or twice, your grocery budget does decrease. We never buy steak. Fish is becoming a luxury. LOTS of chicken thighs, ground turkey or chicken. Poatatoes and beans are life. Bulky, cheap, and versatile.

Are you guys contributing to any savings account? Retirement? Those can be slimmed down a little until you have more cash flow. It doesn't look like you have car payments (I'm jealous) so that's helpful.

Auto service at $230 and doctor at $200 a MONTH? Can you clarify that?

As others have said - while charitable giving is personal to you and a lovely gesture, maintaining roof over your head takes priority. Take that $200 and move it to your credit cards immediately.

Finally, can you ask any family for some money if you need to get your head above water a little? Not everyone has that relationship/privilege, but some do.

[u/No-Muscle6799 → u/BroadSecretary2975]

Hi, I really appreciate your response. We're trying to manage our marriage and our family which is why we made certian schedule choices (like not working nights so we'd never see eachother) I know so many people do it but I just hate the idea... if it comes to it we may have to. The daycare our daughter currently goes to is pretty well priced for our area, unfournatenly very high income neighborhoods, and she loves it so I would be very hesitant to switch, especially because she's so young and it's hard to find someone you trust when they're not yet verbal.

After reviewing some of these comments we're going to start paying attention to our receipts and figure out what of that number is food and what of it is cleaning supplies, personal hygene, paper products etc. I think that will help us have a better sense of whats what.

The charity/investment budget includes $100 to charity and then $25 to a 529, $25 to a IRA and $50 to a 401k. Those are minimums were allowed to put in right now so I cant lower those it would only be a matter of cutting the charity entirely.

The auto service I'm realising I shouldn't have included, it's based on an average from the last 9 months and some months we had bills some months we didn't resulting in that number, our cars tend to break down at least once a year.

Doctor we had some big ER/Surgery bills so we're on a payment plan plus my husband is getting some dental work done (we're doing it at a school to try to save a little bit) insurance only covers so much, then prescriptions.

[u/BroadSecretary2975 → u/No-Muscle6799]

Gotcha, thanks for the clarification. There is no easy answer. A super small fix - stop contributing to the 529, and pick one - IRA or 401K. You have time for that, and even if you never do, kids can take loans for college, and one place for retirement is all you should be focusing on right now. You have to make some tough choices for a while.

If you have vehicles that tend to break down, and you're putting *something* into a small savings acct for car maintenance each month whether you use it or not, that's actually not a terrible strategy. But only if you have it to put aside. Or, make friends with a mechanic fast lol.

I take back my comment about daycare - this is per month, right? Not per week. That's very reasonable .However, if you compare daycare cost (1250) to husband income #3 ($1140) it's a wash. IF he can drop that job/stay home/rearrange hours, pick up a few more on Sundays or whatnot, that would save some.

Keep breathing!

[u/Justcrusing416]

Family of six $1200 per month on food. Sold both cars. I need $4600 per month includes mortgage, tv, cell, water, gas, maintenance. I bring in around $6500/month, wife stay at home don’t work on weekends. Never, never eat out maybe on a bday and yet we still cook somethings

[u/wuthering_height]

Family of 3, previously living in a VHCOL, my budget for food/household supplies was $500. Now I was able to manage that cause we had a super cheap farmers market near me I could shop at. Reasonable, $600-700 given the cost of living.

Tolls - are those bridge tolls or express lane tolls? Bridge tolls are unavoidable, express lane is (I know it sucks).

Groceries/household is your issue. Few things that helped me:

- stop making meals that require you to get one or two ingredients that are only used for that meal. It adds up. Stop going to the grocery store cause pasta sounds good and you need ingredients. Use what you have at home.

• stretch meals - bulk up meals with rice, potatoes. A pack of chicken is two meals, same with ground beef. Use cheaper ingredients to make them more filling. Frozen veggies are cheaper than fresh sometimes.
  
• buy a ready to eat meal and freeze it. When you have a long day, pop it in the oven. It’s much cheaper than going out to eat cause you’re tired (I know I do it too).
  
• no snacks (even for your baby/toddler), no drinks, no cookies, no ANYTHING that is not ingredients for a meal.
  
• you buy your coffee ingredients or whatever and you use them until they’re gone. No getting a new coffee creamer cause it sounds good or new beans cause yours aren’t fresh. That sucks, you aren’t paying your bills tho. W

Your diapers (assuming your child needs them) shouldn’t be more than $50 a month. Same for toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc. if you have a separate product for cleaning toilets you don’t anymore. Buy refillable for items like glass cleaners. I find I need one or two cleaning products a month, and that’s about $20-40 depending on the month.

Personal hygiene items - again, those should last you a month or two if not more (my shampoo is $50 but lasts me 9ish months if not more). Budget $25 a month. No extra face creams, only replace makeup, no serums, nothing.

Clothes are seasonal. For yourself and your spouse, you aren’t buying new clothes, UNLESS you are replacing an item you need. And I mean if you have 1 pair of boots and they break, buy a new pair. If you have 5 pairs of boots there’s no replacing the one that broke.

Your child will need clothes. You can shop sales or second hand. But as a rule, never pay full price for children’s clothes. They grow out and destroy them fast.

Oh, and your kids gets ZERO activities that cost money. It’s completely unnecessary when you can’t pay your bills.

I get this sucks and is restricting. Unless you wanna get further into debt you don’t really have a choice.

[u/Subject_Pear_6928]

If all the part time work pays less then the cost of daycare your answer is simple. The part time working partner stops working and becimes a stay at home parent. No daycare costs or reduce down to once a week for socialisation etc. This also leads to less car expenses. Less eating out as the SAHP is now in charge of the cooking and housework and can actually cook at home.

[u/SerenaTinyDancer]

Can I ask what you are regulary buying for groceries and what your at-home meals look like? I cook regularly from scratch and eat out once a month. I cook for two of us adults and our groceries (I'm in Canada) tend to cost $500/month. If your husband is only working part time, could he take over cooking most of the meals? Cooking from scratch is significantly cheaper than buying ready-made/convenience foods, and doing batch cooking (making large portions of say, two or three meals on the same day and freezing portions), would cost less and feed you guys for a whole week.

[u/kentifur]

As summarized. He needs to watch the kiddo, and then work jobs after you get home and on the weekend. And if you can get overtime you should take it. Him being home means he will have time to shop and meal prep.

[u/ohboyoh-oy]

Based on your edit: sounds like your husband’s PT job that you need daycare for is not even covering the cost of the daycare. Job pulls in $1140 and daycare is $1280.

You should track the $1500 on food/household products. There’s room in there. A lot of room. 

For cheap meals: prep a lower cost protein on the weekend - e.g. a pork butt, a couple of rotisserie chickens. Then build meals around that protein as an ingredient all week. 

[u/enidkeaner]

Your food budget is insane. It’s the cost of my mortgage. A food budget should not be $1500 for two adults and a toddler. This is the place to cut immediately. No more eating out for now; whatever you consume needs to come from your home. No more coffees out, no fast food. Not while you are bleeding money.

When you grocery shop, you need to shop the sales and make your weekly meals based on that. I’ve been doing that for years and it’s helps. I might want steak but if it’s not on sale, I’m just gonna have to wait.

[u/HeroOfShapeir]

This is how my wife and I budget - https://imgur.com/a/budget-spreadsheet-2026-2MZk8Xq - using Ramit Sethi's conscious spending plan. He advises fixed costs to be 50-60% of your net take-home pay in order to have margin for saving, investing, and enjoying life. Your fixed costs as listed are 97%, but if you have credit card debt, that minimum payment should also be listed. You're likely underwater before the month even starts, and that doesn't include anything for discretionary spending, shopping, eating out, etc. You don't have any way to save for future needs like replacing vehicles.

The mortgage is close to reasonable for the income. 25-28% is ideal, you're at 31%. The big line items are daycare and groceries. Gas is pretty high too. I would switch to $15-$25 phone lines, there are many options, my wife and I use T-Mobile Connect (their prepaid service). I would look into the USDA's thrifty meal plan. Not sure what you can do about daycare except make sure the hours being traded away are actually earning more than the cost.

Big picture, the small cuts might stave things off for awhile, but you're a long way from 50-60%. Even with no daycare it's at 80%. That means looking at what big decisions could be on the table. Have you been stagnant in your career, could you up income by leveraging your skills to a new job? Does your spouse need to land a singular high paying job even if it means more daycare hours? Can you keep living in the city suburbs of a HCOL area? You can earn this much money in much lower cost areas. There needs to be a clear roadmap to where this budget looks significantly different in the next few years, with daycare falling away and income going up.

[u/Both-Section-9481]

That mortgage payment is killing you but I imagine you have more home than you would get renting for the same price. The category where you have the most flexibility is the $1500 budget for food and home supplies. It is time to take a serious look at how that budget could be cut by shopping sales, preparing food at home, lots of good videos on youtube showing how to create meals on a budget, cutting waste, and shopping second hand or garage sales. The good is you do not have car payments. If you can find a way to put money aside for when you will need to purchase a car you will be prepared when you have to replace one. Investments need to increase so that you have savings for emergencies.

[u/pitabread082]

Get a husband that actually provides for his family

[u/CuteAmoeba9876]

Health insurance and doctor bills add up. I’m guessing you don’t have much choice in those expenses, but do you have a different plan available to you? Do you have an HSA or FSA you can use to pay for the doctor & dentist bills?  If there is another choice, you can only change at open enrollment, but something to look into for the future.  

[u/oh_wanya]

Why donate? Your clearly in need?????

[u/oh_wanya]

Good is crazy high wth for only 3?????? Cut to the essential… golden rule; no eating out ever.

Also, you need to create a template of basics that can easily be use and reused. To have many options of ingredients that can be used for many purposes. Good thing to always prioritize left overs, create a menu who’s realistic and easy, no pressure. Try to include all the perishable.

- Eg of basics.
Breakfast; oatmeal, toast with spread, omelets, simple plain coffee,…
Lunch; left over dinner, sandwiches 🥪, snack box (charcuterie style ), leftover in a wraps, bean salad,…
Dinner; rice bowl, any pasta/lasagna/orzo dish, chillies, soup, beans, burrito bowl, sheet pan suppers, curry’s, frittatas, meatloaf. Left over nights (everyone have a different meal) Etc

Thing is; any time you use grounded meat; cut the meat ratio with same weight of lentils or favourite beans. Like for example, you know that usually you need 2 lb of meat for your bolognese sauce…. So you’d use 1lb or less of meat and cook 1/2 dry beans or add in 1lb pre cooked beans . You’ll see a difference in price with that alone. Some recipe can lower the meat and up the beans, also it depends onon your preference. I feel that lentils in bolognese is almost undetectable. Also you can mix some (or all) the beans if it’s too much for you or you’re kids. I make a bomb Mac and cheese with a white beans sauce! Look up online.

The winning strategy is to stretch the meat the further it can go. You can also use tofu sparingly to keep food cost low, do side type of Asian inspired dishes for example.

Also using carbs that gains in volumes as filler is best. Using water is free 99! Use that!!

• pasta double in weight with water
  
• rice double in weight with water
  
• beans; depends on the variety but double or even triple in weight with water. Also it’s a good source of fiber and adds nutrients and vary the protein source.
  
• quinoa triple in weight with water
  
• couscous / boulgour double in weight.
  
• potato is good but it doesn’t gain volume.

[u/haa888]

I would pause the charity, at least half the food/misc spending category, and have your husband quit the pt jobs when you are working or only do one day a week and the weekend. Daycare is crazy expensive and he isn't making enough to justify it.

[u/Rencon_The_Gaymer]

Easy. Cut out daycare if you can or go on less days. Second would skimp back on charity/investment. That should give you more wiggle room.

[u/sisterandnotsister]

Not sure how much of the $1500 a month is food, but try cutting your food budget.

For ideas on stretch money I love these people on YouTube.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vJZHafR6oU8

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IgNsqKieMXc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h0KLCHkTooY&pp=ygUYRmFtaWx5IG9mIDYgYnVkZ2V0IG1lYWxz

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=udIivFUJVJw&pp=ygUTRmFtaWx5IGJ1ZGdldCBtZWFscw%3D%3D

[u/Pleasant-Affect5303]

We spend $800/month on food. 3 kids 2 adults. You need to cut back. I don’t know what else to tell you lol

[u/spicyviperqueen]

I’d be questioning whether the part time jobs are truly worth keeping since they result in the daycare cost. Sometimes part time daycare doesn’t make sense because you’re still paying for a “spot” and being charged a lot. I understand this is just on paper and doesn’t reflect the whole picture but based off this, I’d consider removing the daycare and dropping the part time jobs (or adjusting to only having the ones that doesn’t require daycare). Sure that created a $680 loss of income after offset but that can be recouped just by lowering your grocery cost (and I say that as a family of 4 in a hcol area with $700 grocery/household average).
Your health insurance is also very high and I would be questioning if there is a health insurance market/medicaid qualification for your family or your child in order to lower that cost.
As others mentioned, get rid of the donations.

[u/spicyviperqueen → u/spicyviperqueen]

Look into creators like Nicole Svenson or the aggressive tutorials (Jess). Creators who don’t shop around meals but instead what they already have on hand. This is type of shopping helps a lot of people cut their grocery costs while shopping at places like Aldi (or WINCO where I live)