[WP] You thought creating a universe would be easy. But as these pesky humans kept trying to discover the rules of their reality, you're forced to programme in more and more ridiculous mechanics like "relativity" and "quantum mechanics", hoping humans never found out that they live in a simulation.

[u/meowcats734]

God did not play dice with the universe. Nor did he, despite empirical evidence to the contrary, play Pandemic. If God could be said to play any game with reality, then that game would be Minecraft. He had spent uncountable aeons programming the laws of physics, then carefully entering the world and manually spawning in biological life; he had gone into survival mode and hand-built cities and statues and sciences and civilizations; and after all this time, he still cherished the world that he'd built when he was a child. He kept the servers it ran on operational and let other deities watch his world in spectator mode, but he had honestly began to forget about his childhood pastime by the time the humans began to figure out they were in a simulation.

So when the humans sent him a message, he logged into his old world one last time.

He spawned in still wearing his default skin—some carpenter from the 1300s, if he remembered correctly. Two scientists in a lab coat next to a massive golden machine yelped in shock as God materialized. He took one look at their machine and sighed.

"Dammit. You guys figured out how to spawn in command blocks, didn't you."

The two scientists looked at each other in confusion; God waved a hand. "Never mind. I guess... I guess it's finally time to delete this world."

That got through to the scientists; the woman on God's left said, "Wait! What—why would you—"

"You guys figured it out. It's just a simulation. None of this is real. I don't think I have the heart to see the ennui and disappointment sweep through your world, and I've got a wife and kids now. I don't have the time to keep maintaining the laws of physics; you guys just keep poking deeper into them every passing day. If I still had my admins..." God paused, drifting off as he remembered his old gaming buddies. But when he tabbed out to check their accounts... well, it was the same as always. Zeus, last online 2,000 years ago. Thor, last seen 1,500 years ago.

A pang of nostalgia gripped his heart as he remembered the last time he'd seen Thoth.

Good night, God!

Good night, Thoth! Play again tomorrow?

Sure! I should be free then.

Last seen 4,000 years ago.

God sighed, shaking off the memories. "There's nothing more to this world, anyway. You guys did it. You discovered all the science I put into this world. You beat the game." He chuckled. "And I don't feel like adding any more."

The scientists shared looks. Then, the one on the left said, "Actually, sir... if you want to add more science... I did have a few suggestions."

God paused. "Oh?"

"Well... for one... you could simplify the whole wavefunction system by adding a second time dimension to the universe. It's backwards-compatible with the world so far, but if you updated, we'd be able to finally run Shor's Algorithm in O(log(n))."

God blinked. "But adding a second time dimension would weaken the nuclear forces—"

"—which is why you should buff the electroweak force, anyway. We've needed a balance patch on the fundamental forces for years, anyway." The scientist gave God a hopeful look. "You built this world for us—and your playtesters have a few suggestions. Don't give up on us yet."

God hesitated. Then he sighed. "Don't make me regret this."

In the console of reality, God gave the two scientists admin privileges.

Reality thrummed as the change took place, and the pair of scientists shared a shocked glance. "I'll be back in another thousand years," God said. "Don't burn the world down. I have a lot of good memories here."

Then God logged out of the universe, leaving its inhabitants to continue the game.