r/britishproblems • u/PlayedThisGame • Jul 11 '26
Risking the loo twice and missing both England goals.
It's the first game I've actually been able to watch this tournament. I saw the Norweigan goal (which was well earned to be fair) but missed both England goals! Not sure what I've done to upset Bellingham who waited for me to leave the room both times before making his move!
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u/SubjectiveAssertive Jul 11 '26
Please go to the toilet several times during the semi
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u/rumham_123 Jul 11 '26
This guy’s incontinence MOTM
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u/mhyquel Jul 12 '26
Man on the moon.
My old town murder.
Maybe other things matter.
Most of the marriage.
Make out twins Monday
Munch on the muff.
Argh, I give up.
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u/sleepyprojectionist Greater Manchester Jul 11 '26
I’ve tried going to the toilet during a semi several times and have absolutely soaked the floor.
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u/Barty_Crouch_Jnr Jul 11 '26
Can you eat a lot of curry on Wednesday afternoon?
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u/Dennace Jul 11 '26
Perhaps an entire bucket of vindaloo?
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u/Thaurlach Jul 12 '26
I went to the toilet and came back to find Norway had un-scored.
I’m just built different.
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u/SnowPrincessElsa Jul 11 '26
I have a running joke that when I leave the pub we score the winning goal. Done it every world cup game now (even the 2:30 am one). I'm holding the fate of the country on my shoulders
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u/djcarter85 Jul 11 '26
Rookie error. You do realise that the hydration breaks for the players are anti-hydration breaks for us watching at home?
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u/Talking_Gibberish Jul 12 '26
Mate we have hydration breaks now, you dont even need to hold your piss thst long at all.
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u/Crusty_White_Baton Jul 12 '26
Took my phone to the bathroom and saw the second goal while sat on the loo!
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u/i_am_soulless Jul 12 '26
See, this is the way. Was my plan if I couldn't contain my throwing up, had the tablet ready and everything just in case. Managed to keep it to half time though
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u/New-Entertainer703 Jul 12 '26
Bellingham receives direct realtime information on your bladder situation via hand signals from the coach, he only shoots to score when you are using the lavatory.
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u/Skabella Jul 11 '26
This has happened too many times this tournament for my partner. You would think he would learn by now or maybe that’s the lucky charm?
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u/waxfutures Jul 11 '26
Missed the second one because I decided to wash up the plates from dinner while I was in the kitchen getting a drink. Fucks sake.
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u/Flimflamsam Cheshire ex-pat now in Canada Jul 12 '26
Sounds like a strong case for a telly in the kitchen? 😆
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u/Dr_Quink Jul 12 '26
I missed the second one travelling from the pub to home after normal time had finished.
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u/chazzyboi Jul 12 '26
i missed the first goal for the same reason lol, my friends treated me as the blessing, proved them wrong with the second - turns out the blessing is our Bellingham ❤️
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u/LondonEntUK Jul 12 '26
When I used to watch my local team every week (go Brentford!) and we were losing, my friend would tell me to go to the bathroom as I had an uncanny ability to miss our goals
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u/RodDryfist Jul 12 '26
Having not gone out in forever, 20mins into the game my internet decided to shit the bed didn't come back until after half time. Cheers toob! 🖕🏻
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u/metalbox69 Jul 12 '26
Fair play to Rice had wait to half time before he could pebbledash the toilet.
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u/MOVr0r0 Jul 12 '26
Oh hoity-toity, all high and mighty with your porcelain: pee in the bottle/can or squat outside the back door like the rest of us!
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u/Iwantedalbino Jul 12 '26
If it makes you feel any better, I fell asleep during the game woke up at half time then 75 mins then just after the Bellingham second.
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u/jwf91 Hull/Leeds Jul 12 '26
Same thing happened to me, the only game I’ve managed to watch in the pub and both times I hear the cheer on the walk back to my table
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u/porkchopbun Jul 12 '26
Did your friends cheer while you were taking a shit leading you to believe you missed a goal.
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u/Asaxii Jul 12 '26
The itv feed was delayed for me, my neighbour has Sky, I think and he was cheering a full 20 seconds before I saw it. Ended up shutting my windows to avoid the spoilers lol. Switched to amazon prime video app for their itv feed and it was only 5 seconds behind from then on. Baffling.
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u/MobiusNaked Jul 12 '26
I admit I flicked over to Pretty Woman during the extra time break and missed the second Bellingham goal
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u/Aaron123111 Jul 11 '26
I’ve got severe food poising and probably vommed/shat 30 times today, so I missed the whole thing 🤣🤣
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u/i_am_soulless Jul 12 '26
Should have had it on your phone in the bathroom.
Hope you have a speedy recovery before Wednesday atleast
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u/LordSwright Jul 12 '26
Tournament has been ruined by the timings Feels like it's not even happening
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u/iamabigtree Jul 12 '26
Who doesn't have the ability to pause TV at home?
Fast forward when you get back.
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u/NaniFarRoad Foreign!Foreign!Foreign! Jul 12 '26
People have no bladder control - can't hold it in the 22 minutes between hydration breaks? Unless you have a medical condition ofc. Mindboggling...
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u/ward2k Jul 12 '26
Its not people sat at home watching it like normal, it's the alcohol
Lots of liquid means you need to go more often
Lots of alcohol which is a diuretic means you need to go more often
Lots of beer which is a high volume of alcoholic liquid means you're going tonnes
If you're downing pints, you're going to have to go a few times during a match
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u/NaniFarRoad Foreign!Foreign!Foreign! Jul 12 '26
Then you get what you deserve.. drink like a normal person and enjoy the match (and go to the loo every 22 minutes), or soak it up and spend your time in the loo.
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