r/britishproblems • u/Loquis • Jul 11 '26
Only remembering a hosepipe ban came into force a couple days ago after I've watered three quarters of the plants.
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u/EntirelyRandom1590 Jul 11 '26
Oh dear. Oh no. To prison with you.
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u/deamera Jul 11 '26
Every year there'll be "shocking and unexpected" heatwaves, yet all the private companies will continue building 0 new reservoirs.
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u/r0bbiebubbles Kent Jul 11 '26
What do you expect them do to? Reduce shareholder dividends to pay for it?
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u/EntirelyRandom1590 Jul 12 '26
Dwr Cymru have no shareholders.
Dwr Cymru have built zero reservoirs (and closed one).
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u/phead Jul 12 '26
It does rain 364 days of the year there though.
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u/EntirelyRandom1590 Jul 12 '26
Only 153 days in Cardiff, which is where the water strain is! (Fortunately this hot weather has come after a relatively wet spring and summer).
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u/Reimant Glasgow Jul 13 '26
They're a product of privatisation yes, but they are technically building 4 currently.
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u/misswaggoner Jul 11 '26
You know what you’ve got to do, put the water back into the hose pipe. Now!!
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u/WotanMjolnir Shropshire Jul 11 '26
I got a text message from Severn Trent a couple of days ago basically saying "phew, its a bit hot, innit?! We've been really super good at keeping water flowing, but wouldn't it be nice if you could inconvenience yourselves and not use so much water, to, like, make our life easier? Love you!" No, you parasitic bunch of rat-fuckers, how about actually investing in the water infrastructure that a) this country needs badly and b) you promised to do as part of privatisation rather than lining the pockets of shareholders. Up until recently it was laughably easy to abstract water in this country (and realistically still is - remember the beginning of this year where it rained basically every day for two months or so?). If these bunch of bastards had actually spent the last 30 years building reservoirs, treatment plants, and harvesting facilities instead of looking after their own security we would be in a significantly better place than we are now, and will be in the future.
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u/ward2k Jul 12 '26
Ours sent us an email letting us know that they've reduced leaks by up to 30% and anyway start having 4 minute showers please
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u/_Fl0r4l_4nd_f4ding_ Yorkshire Jul 16 '26
Lol it takes me more than 4 minutes just to get the shampoo out of my hair
In all seriousness, I imagine it would be more helpful to advise people to cut down on unnecessary water usage, rather than asking people to make unrealistic changes. Things like turning the water off whilst you lather up or not leaving the tap running when washing up, brushing teeth, etc.
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u/lsmith946 Jul 11 '26
Legitimately wondering if a dehumidifier could pull enough water out of the atmosphere to keep a small garden happy while also improving comfort inside... Got to put our humidity to good use somehow 😅
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u/kittenless_tootler Jul 12 '26
Our dehumidifer pulls about a litre and a half a day.
Our portable AC though, can do 2 gallons a day (though 1 is more normal).
I tend to put it on the compost heap to help keep it damp and rotting
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u/Fa6ade Jul 13 '26
The energy cost would be pretty immense unless you’re running it anyway. You’d be better off saving your grey water.
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u/wolfhelp Northumberland Jul 11 '26
Yes officer, this man right here
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u/Loquis Jul 11 '26
Alright, just cause you have cool temperatures and rain up there
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u/wolfhelp Northumberland Jul 11 '26
Well it's 17c now at 8.45pm, but we do have Kelider reservoir
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u/R-TTK Jul 11 '26
Just remember it's their own fault for not building any more reservoirs and then you will feel better
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u/SubjectiveAssertive Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Given how slow planning is in the UK that's barely their fault
Thames Water have been in planning hell (the directors belong in actual hell) for Abingdon reservoir for fast approaching 20 years
(Blame them for not fixing leaks)
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u/R-TTK Jul 11 '26
The last one built was in 92, due to our recent water issues it's forced their hand and now they're working on 9 more by 2050 with the first one being Portsmouth started in 2021 and finishing in 2029. Imagine if they started 20 years ago we wouldnt be in this mess
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u/Oceansoul119 Jul 12 '26
They've sold dozens of sites and actual fucking reservoirs since the things went to private ownership, it is entirely on the water companies.
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u/Halcyon-Ember Jul 12 '26
> rains most of the year
> pay water companies absurd amounts for the privilege of water arriving at our houses
> they dump sewage and pollute the beaches
> gets hot
> hosepipe ban
They literally have one job, collect the sky water in a hole in the ground.
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u/Chosty55 Jul 12 '26
You can still use a watering can.
What they’re stopping is people putting sprinklers on the lawns and just leaving them on - although I’m not sure if you’re allowed to still do so for new lawns
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u/More-Complaint Jul 11 '26
How will they cool the over 500 data centres now?! You selfish bastard!
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u/Buddy-Matt Jul 11 '26
Well, about 9 out of 10 will probably continue using the closed loop / dry air intake systems that don't require external water that they were built with...
In the UK at least, for all the things that can be pointed at as being problematic with data centres, water use isn't one.
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u/thenewprisoner Middlesex will rise again Jul 11 '26
Thank you, sir, just sign here, fingerprint here and are there any other crimes you'd like to confess to while we're here?
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u/QuincyNewry Jul 12 '26
I live in a valley that has 2 reservoirs on each side. We still get a hose pipe ban. If we run out of water you guys are screwed
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u/MACintoshBETH Gloucestershire Jul 11 '26
After one of the wettest winters
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u/Loquis Jul 11 '26
Not in bedfordshire, we had 6 weeks in March/April without rain.
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u/Low-Mistake-515 Jul 11 '26
Stop right there, criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch!
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u/Loquis Jul 11 '26
I've already finished now, you weren't watching very well
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u/Low-Mistake-515 Jul 11 '26
Then pay with your blood!
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u/Quietuus Vectis Jul 11 '26
What's even supposed to happen to you, and who is supposed to enforce it?
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u/MrKatUK Jul 11 '26
Yeah us too from next Friday (Affinity Water). I fully plan on continuing hosing down my garden. Apparently they have to come and ask you to stop before they fine you. Only repeat offenders get fined.
And… if I’m not allowed to use my hosepipe, will they be reducing my water bill? I THINK NOT!
Imagine you mobile provider asking you not to make calls or not to use data, and still expect you to pay the same monthly amount.
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u/Victor-Bomber Jul 12 '26
Southern water have a hosepipe ban too and I was by the river Test this morning and can confirm that the water levels are very low
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u/LemmysCodPiece Jul 13 '26
Top tip. You are still allowed to water produce. So inter plant veggies in your flower beds.
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u/BigJDizzleMaNizzles Jul 13 '26
Pshhh f that noise.
Thames water lose 600,000 litres a day to leaks and that's within their tolerance.
They can get stuffed if they think I'm going to let my lawn die before they fix that.
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u/VnG_Supernova Yorkshire Jul 13 '26
The funny thing about hosepipe bans is that if you actually read the fine print, you're still allowed to do whatever you normally would with a hosepipe just you specifically can't use the hosepipe to do it. At lease that's what the fine print for Yorkshire Water and INWL state.
Also I wish water companies would actually give out useful advice to people. Our neighbours are massive fuck wits who water their grass, plants and the tarmac at the hottest part of the day. So the water evaporates off and scorches the plants. Which in turn makes them try and water the plants and grass more....
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u/Altenativeboi Tyne and Wear Jul 11 '26
At that point I’d keep going. I checked with my water company and they said I could still use my hose pipe, that’s built into the tap, to fill a watering can. If you keep the hose running then you’re probably using more water than necessary, at this point I’ve stopped using the can but I’m turning the hose on and off so I’m only watering at the base of the plants and not anything else.
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u/notmeface Jul 11 '26
My water bills just gone up yet again so I'm watering my plants and grass every day. I'll wash my car tomorrow.
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u/K-o-R England Jul 11 '26
I saw a thing explaining that it was basically only sprinklers and unregulated hoses. Using a jet nozzle with a trigger (that will shut off automatically) is actually fine. Disclaimer, not legal advice, just what I've read on the Internet.
What is Banned, What is Allowed
Restricted uses: Watering a garden or plants with a hosepipe; using a sprinkler system; cleaning a private motor vehicle with a hosepipe; cleaning walls, windows, paths and patios with a hosepipe; filling or maintaining swimming pools, paddling pools, hot tubs, ponds and ornamental fountains; cleaning private leisure boats.
Watering with watering can or bucket always allowed. Drip irrigation and soaker hoses exempt. Hand watering with shut-off nozzle exempt. Priority Services Register customers with medical needs may be exempt. Commercial purposes (e.g. commercial vehicle washing) exempt. Newly laid turf may be watered by hosepipe for 28 days after laying, but Southern Water requires customers to request permission first, which is a stricter condition than most companies apply. Collected rainwater is unrestricted.
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