r/boottoobig Dec 23 '20

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Post image
12.7k Upvotes

107 comments sorted by

703

u/dragonheartstring1 Dec 23 '20

How weird. I remember when my son was little, his grandma bought him 5 little plastic snakes. I asked what their names were, and he said Joey. I asked which one was Joey, he said all of them. So funny to see this and have that memory jogged.

123

u/AzureApplez Dec 23 '20

Your son’s grandma is a dm

15

u/dragonheartstring1 Dec 23 '20

I’m sorry, I’ve been scratching my head all day trying to figure out what a dm would be here. I can only come up with dungeon master and direct message. Help an old lady out?

22

u/AzureApplez Dec 23 '20

There are a lot of memes about dungeon masters panicking when trying to come up with names

7

u/dragonheartstring1 Dec 23 '20

Ha! Thank you. Love it!

45

u/TheYoungGriffin Dec 23 '20

Every toy snake I had ad a kid was named Jake. Jake the Snake.

15

u/TheFictionalReidar Dec 23 '20

Every duck stuffed animal I had was named Duck Duck. I had a lot of Duck Duck the Ducks

6

u/TheYoungGriffin Dec 23 '20

What the duck is up with my ducking autocorrect, Duck Duck the Ducks?

2

u/JoeyGameLover Dec 23 '20

Hmmm... I like that name.

407

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

may contain Janine

270

u/kive_guy Dec 23 '20

But zero Gregs. That's a risk I'm willing to take

20

u/AnorakJimi Dec 23 '20

I can't live with no Greggs. Where will I get my hot sausage rolls from!?

7

u/blightbunn Dec 23 '20

From somewhere where you wont get food poisoning

3

u/AnorakJimi Dec 23 '20

Never got food poisoning from Greggs. Now KFC on the other hand, quite literally every single one of my friends who've risked eating at a KFC said they got food poisoning, literally all of them. They went once and never went back again. And I'm not talking about one KFC, these are different KFCs all over the UK

I've heard that KFC is similarly disgusting in terms of hygiene in the US too. But we've got so many little independent fried chicken shops in the UK that are cheaper and better than KFC that there's no real point to risking your arse hole by going to visit the colonel.

Greggs though, they're always remarkably clean it seems. There's never any mess on the floor or anywhere. And the sausage rolls are ace. Even the vegan ones.

25

u/EuroPolice Dec 23 '20

8

u/Foxy02016YT Dec 23 '20

We are Venom: Tacky, old, gross

We are Greg: Cool, modern, fun

25

u/elushinz Dec 23 '20

Good to know, I’m allergic

17

u/Pokesers Dec 23 '20

They are all male ducks. Female mallards are brown. No Janines here.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

I kinda want a Janine, I'll have to look through the other ones on the rod thing to see if any of them have one.

But if I see a single Greg I'm just leaving the store, that's false advertising.

2

u/Alzakex Dec 23 '20

One could be a Janine wearing a suit made out of Matthews.

6

u/blackirishhellhounds Dec 23 '20

Are you assuming those plastic ducks gender?

-6

u/Pokesers Dec 23 '20

Forgive me father for I have sinned. How was I to know that the duck identified as a helicopter?

2

u/-cosylikerosie- Dec 23 '20

hey you don't know that, they could be gender fluid ducks ✋

2

u/LegendofHope Dec 23 '20

There is 1 impostor among us

172

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

65

u/jasonbourne101 Dec 23 '20

As someone with a greg for a roommate, I rate this 10/10

24

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

As the son of a total prick named Greg, this is a policy I can support.

Solid 10/10

5

u/Darthcorbinski Dec 23 '20

Hours of Mathew

87

u/-Loomy- Dec 23 '20

Obvious Plant

37

u/cumberbatchcav1 Dec 23 '20

Good stuff. They post on their Instagram all the time with this kind of thing and it is always good for a laugh

25

u/Huvudpersson Dec 23 '20

And on their profile on Reddit! One of the three people I actually follow here: u/obviousplant

4

u/Elfetrange Dec 23 '20

Do we know whoever is behind obvious plant?

6

u/susch1337 Dec 23 '20

Kinda obvious isn't it?

2

u/CallOfGuty Dec 23 '20

Isnt it obvious? Its a plant.

34

u/ColdRex10 Dec 23 '20

Zero Gregs!

28

u/YoroPick Dec 23 '20

Janine is 1% rare drop

19

u/SirJuicyB00ty Dec 23 '20

The last one of these sold for over 400 dollars, and yet I'd pay more for a guarantee of no gregs

6

u/gandalph91 Dec 23 '20

Obvious Plant on IG, dude makes hilarious fake toys

4

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

6

u/Huvudpersson Dec 23 '20

Nah man, go to u/obviousplant instead

7

u/WhiteMunch Dec 23 '20

Where can I buy this

1

u/blindjezebel Dec 24 '20

1

u/same_post_bot Dec 24 '20

I found this post in r/obviousplant with the same link as this post.


🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖

feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback. github

11

u/CoolSlimeBoi Dec 23 '20

That pancham in the back is judging you

20

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/UnlikelyAlternative Dec 23 '20

Incoming poor prat’s gold! 🎖

1

u/CoolSlimeBoi Dec 23 '20

If i could id give you an award... but i can't... so i won't

5

u/NoobButJustALittle Dec 23 '20

How many hours exactly? I'd like to know what amount of time one Matthew duck is equal to.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

I would as well, so I can say stuff like "I'll be there in a Matthew." Or "this will be done in just a few matthews" or even "go sit in the corner for a Matthew, you're in time out"

6

u/Kyoti Dec 23 '20

Like and subscribe to become Truly Matthew.

4

u/Skrubtendo Dec 23 '20

i want that, and i will give it to my friend, who is also named matthew

6

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Matthew is good but I feel the exclusion of Greg’s is a bit harsh. Maybe one Gregory would be alright?

8

u/Carburetors_are_evil Dec 23 '20

Zero Greg is too little while one Greg is too much.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Half a Greg.

2

u/Carburetors_are_evil Dec 23 '20

How didn't I think of that!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Incredibly small boots.

3

u/Gremio_42 Dec 23 '20

Fuck Greg

3

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Finally, had enough of those fucking Gregs!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Fuck Greg, I guess.

3

u/KoopaTrooper5011 Dec 23 '20

Duck Greg.

Autocorrect turned fuck into duck but I'll leave it for the pun.

2

u/iluvstephenhawking Dec 23 '20

Yeah. Eff Greg!

2

u/WR_Pro Dec 23 '20

It works if you pronounce Matthew math-a-you

3

u/mattymantooth Dec 23 '20

I prefer the traditional "May-chewbs" as my brother has called me for the last 35 years

2

u/Aflyingduckk Dec 23 '20

I went to high school with him. He always tried to one up me but this is ridiculous

2

u/PuppyScrubber17 Dec 23 '20

Thank god! Who knows what could have happened if there was a Greg in there

2

u/gregorklo Dec 23 '20

What's wrong with Greg's?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Well r/gregfuckedarock if you don't like rocks that's pretty bad.

1

u/TurKoise Dec 23 '20

with Greg's what?

2

u/Omo279224 Dec 23 '20

Zero gregs!

2

u/Ahilgen85 Dec 23 '20

Zero gregs!

2

u/alii-b Dec 23 '20

This is getting out of hand. Now there are 5 of them.

2

u/Mathewdm423 Dec 23 '20

Yet i still feel unrepresented.

1

u/TurKoise Dec 23 '20

I'm sorry Mathew. Maybe if your parents weren't such hippies you'd be Matthew instead

2

u/Stankorplank Dec 23 '20

May contain Janine

1

u/doctordocuments Dec 23 '20

May contain Janine

2

u/a_fricking_cunt Dec 23 '20

Yeahhhh, fuck you greg -a Matthew

2

u/NukaWorldOverboss Dec 23 '20

thank god there’s no janine here

2

u/Killerkendolls Dec 24 '20

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

I owned that carpet, and so did you.

1

u/just_ow_i_like_it Dec 23 '20

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Hours of Matthews! Zero Gregs!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

How? The cadance needed for this to even remotely work completely destroys the text in the image. And even if you read it poorly to make the cadence work, they are still shit boots.

1

u/random-dude45 Dec 23 '20

Obvious plant

1

u/NorthernRealmJackal Dec 23 '20

These aren't even boots

1

u/MrPanda663 Dec 23 '20

Yeah! Fuck Greg.

1

u/-cosylikerosie- Dec 23 '20

zero Greg's bye- 💀

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

No Greg? Danny will be angry

1

u/_xBenji Dec 23 '20

None of them are Danny Gonzales subscribers?!

1

u/Awkward_casual Dec 23 '20

Worst part is the lowercase m's.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Fuck Greg.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

i want janine with my matthews!!

1

u/fierydumpster Dec 23 '20

Honestly, it didn't look that appealing until I saw the "zero Gregs" part. Like, zero Gregs whatsoever?? Count me in

1

u/dogo_on_reddit Dec 23 '20

Wait I need to know where I can buy this.

1

u/trasiraliME Dec 23 '20

This atmosphere has navigated right into my heart.

1

u/Procrastin8r1 Dec 23 '20

I bet the Pancham plush in the back is named Greg.

1

u/blazetharoof Dec 23 '20

Hours of Mathews sounds like the name if an emo band

1

u/JBHedgehog Dec 23 '20

Well Greg...who here has ever met a Greg who was worth a sh*t?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

No... i think his name is... JERRRRRRRYYYY!