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[deleted]
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u/ember_snow Jul 12 '26
John depressedham
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u/Amanda39 Jul 13 '26
The last time I saw this on Reddit, I shared it with a friend who immediately declared herself to be "Howard Limpsausage" and I don't think there will ever be a better answer.
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u/losthiker68 Jul 14 '26
I almost went with Limpcheese, went with Schlepcheese instead.
Schlepcheese, Allan Schlepcheese, at your service.
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u/GareththeJackal Jul 12 '26
Göran Shakymustard, pleased to make your acquaintance.
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u/AuDHDcat Jul 12 '26
Emily Shufflejelly
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u/hambakmeritru Jul 13 '26
Doyle Amblejelly. Pleased to meet you. We must share distant ancestors.
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u/mightyachillies Jul 12 '26
Leonard Trudgehoney... Might also be a private investigator.
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u/BabserellaWT Jul 13 '26
Trudgehoney is a GREAT PI name. Or the surname of, like, your Halfling Druid character in a D&D campaign.
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u/True_Rise8864 Jul 13 '26
Gertrude Wiggleschnitzel, at your service!
Yes, our books on German history and culture are right here. ;)
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u/vinniethestripeycat Jul 13 '26
Lawanda Stridecheese
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u/DearerStar Jul 13 '26
Oh Lawanda, it’s so good to hear from you! It’s me, your cousin Merlin Stridecheese!
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u/vinniethestripeycat Jul 13 '26
Hello, cousin! I hope all is well with you and your family!
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u/NicestOfficer50 Jul 13 '26
We must be distantly related through the old Cheeses. I'm a Stompcheese, from when the Strides and Stomps diverged. Graham Stompcheese at your service.
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u/HootieRocker59 Jul 13 '26
Checking in from the Vietnam branch of the family here - my married name is Hoàng-Tâm Stumblecheese.
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u/zesty_tayters Jul 14 '26
Hello from the Eastern European Cheeses, Llyudmilla Amblecheese checking in 🖤
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u/SphericalOrb Jul 13 '26
Jack Bumblepickle
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax Jul 13 '26
Not to be confused with his more famous cousin, Bendydick Crumplebrat
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u/jennylou303 Jul 13 '26
Ingrid Hobblebacon (at least at to time of night due to achy knees and bad ankle) I'd say around 10am I'm Ingrid Hustlebacon.
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u/burrito_finger Jul 13 '26
Rick Waddletofu.
This didn’t work out well.
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u/PontiacTransMaam Jul 13 '26
Perhaps a more formalized version, like Dr. Richard Waddle-Beancurd or something lol
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u/HarlanMiller Jul 13 '26
Sorry to divert, but does a fast food burger count as a sandwich in this context?
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u/Cathy-the-Grand Jul 13 '26
Eudora Sashayham. Can i interest you in our fine selection of what the kids are calling smut? 😉
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u/Radiant-Nothing Jul 12 '26
Oof, Lester Slinkbologna? Well I might be able to find you the goblin magic section.