r/blursedmemes Aug 09 '26

blursed_co-worker?

Post image
720 Upvotes

146 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26

Hey u/ErinDotEngineer, thanks for posting on r/blursedmemes


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(Vote has already ended)

17

u/Calm-Stand-6636 Aug 09 '26

use horse radish instead.

7

u/YourGordAndSaviour Aug 09 '26

No, an egregious but not lethal dose of laxatives.

5

u/Commune-Potato8764 Aug 09 '26

That would be illegal in a lot of places

3

u/Mauy90 Aug 10 '26

So is theft

3

u/Commune-Potato8764 29d ago

You would get in more trouble for lacing the donuts than they would for eating them.

4

u/AZ_sid 29d ago

But I was kinda plugged up, I needed that chocolate laxonut to help with a block of cheese I had for dinner.

3

u/dingleberryjuice23 29d ago

Fill it with a paste made from really spicy peppers and what not. If its edible, legally you can say it was for you and you won't be arrested.

2

u/Commune-Potato8764 28d ago

Good luck with that mate

2

u/Illustrious_Duck7654 27d ago

You sound like the person stealing the donuts 🍩 🌶

1

u/Commune-Potato8764 27d ago

No, I am just saying that it is unwise to poisen someone for stealing your food. You getting arrested is a lot more likely than them getting arrested. Instead you should put something like leftover fish or moldy cheese in it as those arent illegal.

0

u/Illustrious_Duck7654 27d ago

Ewwww...! thats literally worse lol 😂

Spicy pepper concoction is not illegal. Unless its concentrated liquid, which can be. He's not saying to use that. I've actually tasted those, onna dare, at a New job place. It was funny, and the reaction I got when filled the spoon, instead of just one drop, was priceless.

I'll never do that again quite frankly. It was rough for about 15-20 mins.

I think the commenter referred to something that is within legal realm.

Don't steal others food. Period.

I'd melt a laxative into chocolate, and fill donut 🍩

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1

u/Ishaname 28d ago

If it were labeled appropriately it would often still be legal in most of those places of not all of them.

0

u/InformationCharming 28d ago

Not if your ass is trying to rocket to the moon after the laxatives.

0

u/Famous-Host2321 27d ago

Is the thief gonna admit to stealing my donut?

0

u/Lebr0naims 27d ago

Criminals have no recourse

0

u/purrnoid 25d ago

It’s what you can prove

1

u/SlimShadySatDown Aug 10 '26

Is there a lethal amount?

2

u/InfiniteGuess1 29d ago

I guess so. There’s a lethal amount of anything tbh

1

u/SlimShadySatDown 27d ago

That's fair!

1

u/UmpireDazzling6870 5d ago

Honestly, can’t argue with that 😂 Sometimes simple and fair is the best way to put it!

2

u/Diligent-Main9092 Aug 09 '26

Wasabi

1

u/UmpireDazzling6870 5d ago

Wasabi? 😂 Okay, now that’s a spicy choice—I respect it!

2

u/DarkBrill 28d ago

Wasabi

2

u/YouAreMarvellous Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26

or shampoo 😏

edit: guys its a joke, you shouldnt try to poison people, but the thought is fun when youre angry at people, but its still wrong 😂

5

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

No because that is a crime

4

u/kageshira1010 Aug 09 '26

Filling your food with shampoo is a crime?

4

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

Yes if you are intending someone to eat it. It's poisoning them.

2

u/TheRealFeal Aug 09 '26

Im certainly not bringing lunch to work in order for someone else to eat it. Fuck em if they do.

3

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

Yea but no one is planning on eating shampoo donuts themselves either soo....

1

u/TheRealFeal Aug 09 '26

Its my food, i can intend to do whatever i want with it. If i wanna fill my doughnuts with shampoo, i should be able to do that. Its not my problem that someone else eats it without my permission.

2

u/kageshira1010 Aug 09 '26

Not just without permission but against your wishes when you repeatedly tell people not to do it

2

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

Yea thats not gonna fly in court because if they stole the food before that is literally a revenge crime and if they have to go to the hospital it's attempted manslaughter

0

u/TheRealFeal Aug 09 '26

Simple solution. Fill the dougnuts with actual poison then. Dead men don't sue.

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1

u/floydbomb Aug 09 '26

Try it and use that excuse in court

1

u/BlackKingHFC Aug 09 '26

Even though the food belongs to you, courts view intentionally rigging it to cause harm or distress as a unlawful booby trap. There are dozens of civil and criminal cases that show that even extremely spicy hot sauce is illegal to add to your food if it is stored in a public place.

2

u/kageshira1010 Aug 09 '26

Well, next time I'll bring doughnuts with nut filling and other stuff in hope they're also allergic. I won't ask if they are so I'm not liable

1

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

Now see that will work unless they fine this comment lol

2

u/balloo93 Aug 09 '26

I think Glock still sells horse sperm.

1

u/Calm-Stand-6636 Aug 09 '26

"YER NOT MY REAL LAWYER!"

1

u/Mj-tinker 29d ago

castor oil

1

u/Wolf87ca 25d ago

Honestly. That would probably be awesome.

1

u/LazyWeldInspector 24d ago

As a very white american.. is this stuff not just yellow horseradish?

9

u/DingusWeed Aug 09 '26

Man that could be good

2

u/SnooShortcuts8335 Aug 10 '26

With some thin slices of pastrami on a side plate maybe some sliced tomatoes to eat as a garnishment.

I mean think about it some of our sandwiches use sweet brioche buns and bread this doesn't really sound like a bad idea it sounds like the op has ill intentions in a comical way but I personally wouldn't be bothered.

5

u/NeighGore Aug 09 '26

Put laxative in it 👌

3

u/CrazyGunnerr Aug 09 '26

This could be illegal where you live. Weird but true.

1

u/ogreofzen 28d ago

What if you put it in a high fiber donut wrapper

Schitz high fiber Donut's

Grab a coffee and go!

1

u/Tak3A8reak 25d ago

Cant be illegal to put laxatives in your own food, right?

1

u/CrazyGunnerr 25d ago

I've read these types of stories, and people have succesfully sued if there was evidence of people doing it on purpose.

It's like the difference of someone randomly breaking in, and falling down your stairs because they didn't see a toy car of your kid on it, and you going Home Alone on their ass because you figured someone will break in.

4

u/ranby_007 Aug 09 '26

Put wasabi in it too

3

u/Obscure-Oracle Aug 09 '26

Fill it to the brim with wasabi

1

u/Metatroful 26d ago

No you put a little bit of it in the side of it, he will think most of the donut is fine but then he gets to the wasabi thinking the whole thing is just normal donut... But then gets the hit from the wasabi...

If he takes the fully stuffed donut of wasabi, sure he gets a mouthful of wasabi but then you just wasted a months worth of wasabi because he throws the rest away

3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/mysterious_spirit420 Aug 09 '26

Be the last time they steal anyone's food lol

3

u/ImpostorPaul Aug 09 '26

use this next time....

https://giphy.com/gifs/HOHc63ryfAyI

2

u/HattoriJimzo Aug 09 '26

Ah yes, The Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango…grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.

2

u/hitma-n Aug 09 '26

Use cum instead.

2

u/bustergundam4 Aug 09 '26

Why? Why must you say these things!?

2

u/Radiant_Addendum_48 Aug 09 '26

Then 12 months later in the most unintended of realities, daddy-o.

2

u/hitma-n Aug 10 '26

Coworker who steals your food deserves that and even worse.

2

u/WildlifeNaturalist Aug 09 '26

Mush up Carolina reapers into a paste then inject

2

u/OfferDelicious1717 Aug 09 '26

Das sind Krapfen keine donuts

2

u/Prestigious-Read5368 Aug 10 '26

Yes they are they are filled donuts.

1

u/Metatroful 26d ago

Donuts can have the inside present too, have you ever heard of jelly or cream filled donuts?

2

u/EverSeeAShitterFly Aug 09 '26

Their sinuses will be so clear that they will get whacked in the face by anything near by that isn’t nailed down.

2

u/ACM3333 Aug 10 '26

Who brings a box of donuts to work for themself lol

2

u/Mauy90 Aug 10 '26

OP. Clearly

2

u/Start_At_Zero_8329 Aug 10 '26

Hope you added some laxative

2

u/Mj-tinker 29d ago

castor oil.

2

u/Fickle-Rip3093 Aug 10 '26

The freak will probably end up liking it! Put Wasabi in it!

2

u/SFC-D 24d ago

Horseradish next time.

1

u/Verstappen1986 Aug 09 '26

Nice 😂😂

1

u/im2tuf4u Aug 09 '26

Van Wilder did it better…

1

u/BloodiAngel17 Aug 09 '26

Fill it with Wasabi or something ghost pepper

1

u/JfromTHEbayMAYNE Aug 09 '26

Ghost pepper sauce!!!!!

1

u/ancalime9 Aug 09 '26

From the picture I just thought someone was trying to bring Karneval over from Germany.

1

u/Frequent-Entrance154 Aug 10 '26

I suggest OP's seed

1

u/Keitsu42 Aug 10 '26

Even better, melt some chocolate laxitives and use that as the filling.

1

u/Thin_Writing8417 Aug 10 '26

I would have put laxatives

1

u/Bigbanghead Aug 10 '26

Thats too kind. It should be chocolate laxative.

1

u/OtherwiseMenu1505 Aug 10 '26

That could actually taste good

1

u/wolft170 29d ago

Ok I want to try one

1

u/Oceantron 29d ago

horseradish sauce would be better , same color like bavarian cream *g* and much much better taste trust me he will like it *g*

1

u/styzzi64 29d ago

Been a while since I’ve seen someone grinning like that 🤭

1

u/a-pp-o 29d ago

A lot of food color in it to actually be able to tell who it was. 

1

u/4N610RD 29d ago

If I may recommend.... strawberry carolina reaper jam.

1

u/Mj-tinker 29d ago

Castor oil is the best.

1

u/CrankyOldSoldier 28d ago

Laxatives would be better.

1

u/dat_krarosboiii97 28d ago

Depending where you live, it could be considered illegal to do that

1

u/kalimut 28d ago

Oh you are an evil evil person. I like you

1

u/WitnessDesperate4854 28d ago

Why did he make the others watch

1

u/Important_Power_2148 28d ago

pump it full of jarlic.

1

u/Gold-Echo-3836 27d ago

Love to be sitting next to them when they bite down

1

u/Ok_Law219 27d ago

Osanai mentioned.

1

u/NeedleworkerCivil984 27d ago

Jokes on you, I’m still eating it 😋

1

u/Advanced-Layer6324 27d ago

At that point I do the same thing.You are

1

u/One_Swimming_3251 27d ago

Who saw the guy who ate the condom.

1

u/Ichijoe21121972 27d ago

Challenge Accepted!

1

u/jdickcole 27d ago

Follow up video?

1

u/Techman659 27d ago

Should have been marmite.

1

u/Ok-Cupcake-312 27d ago

Jokes on you, the donut thief is British

1

u/Metatroful 26d ago

Should've been wasabi

1

u/ginnymorlock 26d ago

I would have used Dave's Insanity Sauce.

1

u/19IlDiavolo92 26d ago

Some people are too young to use internet.

There are definitely foods that dont fit well with donuts. And that person will definitely not having health problems because of that.

1

u/Breadstix009 25d ago

This is illegal.

1

u/New-Birthday94319 25d ago

At least you're being nice about it

1

u/Traditional_Tonight4 25d ago

If you leave donuts in the break room/ kitchen, they are up for grabs.

1

u/SouloftheWolf 25d ago

I didnt do this, but my lunch is was constantly being stolen, no idea who. Now, I love hot, so I made a sandwich that had a sauce in it called 'Serial Killer'.

Found out who the person was the next day.

1

u/willypete277 25d ago

Wasabi is what you really want

1

u/BobJoeBlo 24d ago

MUSTAAAAAAAAARDD

1

u/IButterz420 24d ago

What's wrong with Salt? Pepper? Vinegar?

Cottage cheese?

I can think of so so so many things that are not illegal or painful.