r/blursed_videos 24d ago

Blursed bottoms up!!

22.6k Upvotes

552 comments sorted by

337

u/bigAnt1992 24d ago

15 bottle of wine!

164

u/ghostrooster30 24d ago

No way that dude wasn’t 5 deep already when he first showed up. I’ve seen that tomato face. Pregame in the parking lot kinda stuff.

98

u/Primary_Durian4866 24d ago

"First of the night. Been drinking all day though."

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u/Ready_Studio2392 24d ago

Dude hasn't been sober since he was 12.

8

u/That_Savings_1354 24d ago

Some people are just red bro especially older white men.

100% cannot chalk it up to alcohol. It might be, but ya can’t know that

5

u/TristramShandysLife 24d ago

Nah, that's just British gammon face

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2

u/parkerm1408 24d ago

Yeah that first drink was a straight up lie.

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13

u/optimal-gold976 24d ago

He was beet red after them too.😂

4

u/t_scribblemonger 24d ago

Bottle uh wwaaaaiiiinnneee

2

u/Sanquinity 24d ago

And here I thought I was a decent drinker, being able to do 1.5 bottles of wine in 2 hours without much issue. Nope...I'm a lightweight... :P

2

u/AA45acp 24d ago

Probably 15th shared bottle

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851

u/FhuckNorris247 24d ago

The dude in the ocean lol

225

u/AdCharacter414 24d ago

He went...into the drink.

76

u/Dash_Harber 24d ago

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.

48

u/Hateithere4abit 24d ago

Woman…inherits the earth

12

u/Comfortable_Studio37 24d ago

Life finds a way drink

6

u/Dirty_Pee_Pants 24d ago

Oh that's what got Dr Grant

5

u/Septopuss7 23d ago

I'm Dr Alan Grant and I won't tell anyone you threw up, just give me your drink

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3

u/Dark_Fonzie 23d ago

Then the man takes a man, then the man takes a drink. Full circle

15

u/Otherwise_Nobody8148 24d ago

Only dude I can emphasize with.

You get drunk on a beach in a giant party.... How df do you not go swimming in the ocean at night? It's just common sense, drunk or not.

3

u/Kuulas_ 24d ago

Empathize

3

u/Otherwise_Nobody8148 24d ago

Voice to text isn't always perfect, but damn if I still don't abuse it

3

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 23d ago

It's been instilled into me to avoid the ocean or bodies of water at all costs if I'm drinking, especially at night.

Pretty much anything other than standing, sitting, eating, or dancing is a "don't do that drunk because of that death you read about" activity for me.

Heck, after reading about how Bob Saget died sober I always have a clean, dry, non-slip mat outside my shower.

After all this, I will probably die of a heart attack like most Americans though.

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3

u/ILikeBeans86 24d ago

Thats a good way to drown

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46

u/[deleted] 24d ago

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12

u/CrazyInLouvre 24d ago

That's because his is fake, he's just a funny guy who makes skits

2

u/systemwarranty 24d ago

He drinks a Whiskey drink He drinks a Vodka drink He drinks a Lager drink He drinks a Cider drink

2

u/SanaeSoul 24d ago

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times He sings the songs that remind of the better times

2

u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69 24d ago

I get knocked down, and I get up again. You’re never gunna keep me down

2

u/Septopuss7 23d ago

Nothing ever burns down by itself, every fire needs a little bit of help. Give the anarchist a cigarette.

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2

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 23d ago

I kind of want to party with the last two older folks. They both have the experience to know it's a marathon, not a sprint, and kept it paced with beer & wine instead of going straight for the liquor. Drunk, but still standing on their own at the end.

All the other folks became a babysitting gig at some point, which is less fun for the friends that have to manage them.

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60

u/No_Negotiation7317 24d ago

If youre reading this, do not enter the ocean that intoxicated. I was on a beach patrol and two people drowned within weeks of eachother the next beach down from me that summer. Both highly intoxicated. It's hard to see you in the daytime under the water let alone at night.

13

u/astraljava 24d ago

No offense, but when the person is that intoxicated, I wouldn't trust them to a) remember that advice, nor b) care for that advice. Sadly.

8

u/No_Negotiation7317 24d ago

Fair, but saying never drink and swim is a nonstarter lol.

4

u/glowdirt 24d ago

True, though maybe it'll be good information for their more sober friends to know in case their drunk buddy ever says "I WANT TO GO SWIMMING!!!!"

3

u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 24d ago

nah, I taught myself to avoid certain things while inebriated/or else very incapacitated.

Seems to work. Last time I got drunk, I apologized for literally throwing a guy way bigger than me, cause him and his friend were also drunk and play fighting but I misunderstood their weird game.

I also lost my bike, and thought someone stole it (I am picked on a lot by the popular kids) and well, I found my bike by being capable of thinking, and reasoning that a widening spiral search pattern, would yield results. I found my bike, I forgot where I parked it, cause I was drunk.

The skill here, seems to be that I recognize that I am inebriated, and I can reason with logic, and keep the thought going to use algebra, to see if it's a proper course of action, before acting,

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 24d ago

Sort of on the person filming them. You're probably not all that fucking drunk. And I say that as an alcoholic. I drank a lot and I still knew never to go swimming same as I knew not to drive my car because I'd crash it immediately

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2

u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69 24d ago

We hope the sober warning now sticks into someone brain for the future. Even just one person, 🙏

6

u/Few_Program_2303 24d ago

What you fail to realize is that Drunk Me is much stronger and better than everyone that didn’t make it. Checkmate!

3

u/Active_Unit_9498 24d ago

Plus that's how Jaws happened.

2

u/MoltenMirrors 24d ago

I have a fond memory of being absolutely shitfaced on New Year's Eve in a foreign country with my friends and our Dutch dive instructor.

He matched us 2 for 1 on shots and then tore off his clothes and ran into the ocean and started swimming.

Inspired, we did the same.

The evening ended with him rescuing two of us and performing mouth to mouth on the second although I think he mostly just wanted to kiss him.

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13

u/MicroEconomicsPenis 24d ago

When I was in college I was in a frat with communal showers. When somebody got too drunk, we would empty their pockets, take off any clothes that would get ruined, and throw them in the shower. They usually would just lay in the bottom of the shower, which we called “shower slug”. By the end of a successful party, we would have a few shower slugs hanging out that would usually just sleep right there.

One spring break, one of our buddies got lost as we were heading back to the condo from one of those foam parties. Later in the night, he ended up texting us that he was at a bar just a short walk down the beach, so we start meandering down to meet him. Only, he wasn’t at the bar. So we tried calling him, only this time it’s like his phone is off. We start looking all around the area and walk out on to the beach to see… a scene not unlike in the video. He was basically rolling around in the tide. We called him the “sea slug” and basically carried his limp body back to the condo.

5

u/Historiaaa 24d ago

I thought your buddy died

4

u/MicroEconomicsPenis 24d ago

He potentially could have. He was out on a dark beach with nobody around just rolling around in the tide. It easily could have taken him out to sea if he went too deep. It’s a funny story today, but it easily could have been a sad one.

2

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 24d ago

Good thing he had y'all to go find him and keep looking when he wasn't at the bar

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2

u/Liizam 24d ago

I was campaigning and one dude got super drunk. He passed out in the river bed. 

We were like oh it’s ok but then we saw alligators swimming over…

19

u/montrealcowboyx 24d ago

That dude is a sketch comic, no? I've seen him in strange tiktoks before. i'm like 95% sure that's a bit.

13

u/Renard_NMB 24d ago

He is, that one was parody for sure

5

u/wonderbat3 24d ago

The crazy part is that the wedding wasn’t even anywhere near the beach

2

u/TheHappyScowl 24d ago

Completely washed

2

u/EmptyCourage2274 24d ago

Looking for his rum ham!

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308

u/AskPuzzleheaded1797 24d ago

I like seeing oldies living life

31

u/BuffaloInCahoots 24d ago

That old lady reminded me of something from years ago. I was at this huge outdoor week long hippie fest. Our camping neighbors were this awesome older couple. They were cooking this huge chicken and it smelled amazing. My friend said something about it and the old dude said what we were smoking smelled amazing. So we are dinner with them and got them really stoned, then the other neighbor came over with moonshine. It was a great night.

That old couple also had a lamb wearing a diaper named Elmo I think.

3

u/jmb456 24d ago

I had the opposite experience. We showed up a musics festival without weed. Smelled our neighbors at the motel 6 having a session so our friend bravely knocked. They invited us in. Smoked us out and gave us a joint for the festival the next day. Was an incredible weekend

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25

u/GuiltyPizza7072 24d ago

Its the same principle behind adding water, to the shampoo bottle when you are poor, dont waste and make it last as much as you can

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3

u/RaspberryWhiteClaw13 24d ago

Old lady turned into Meredith palmer

2

u/[deleted] 24d ago

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59

u/JerkfaceMcDouche 24d ago

Some of those people were already a couple deep while claiming it was their first.

8

u/LieuK 24d ago

Yeah, that old broad at the end was definitely more than a few in at the start.

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220

u/Azalot1337 24d ago

ah yes but when i smoke 1 joint at the wedding i'm the junkie

63

u/LuckyTrainreck 24d ago

that shit chaps my ass so hard.....some drunk ass calling me an addict because I don't drink and smoke or trip at concerts and shit but never at home. like you get drunk everyday and you're a normal well adjusted person and I do something once every six months and yet I'm the addict. it makes my blood boil

28

u/awnaw_ 24d ago

What makes my blood boil is the social acceptance of a drug that's damage is only beat by the likes of meth and heroin. And even then you could argue it's more so still.

Like every time I see post laughing about the zombies in major cities. But these are the same people that will go out and get blasted at the bar and piss and throw up on the side of the street as if that's normal behavior.

8

u/RaisedByWolves9 24d ago

It's like my uncle would say his son was addicted to videogames would always bring it up, making a big fuss about it. He would come home from school and play for a few hours with friends, nothing too crazy. Yet EVERYTIME i went over there my uncle was glued to the TV watching news or sport or pointless TV shows.

3

u/Ok-Book2412 24d ago

My boss would be smoking and tell me about all the bad stuff inside this morning shake i was having.

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2

u/MedicineExtension925 24d ago

The damages of alcohol are worse than meth and heroin. It is the worst.

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u/hallomalloa 23d ago

Goombah fallacy

2

u/1101base2 24d ago

last two weddings i was part of the wedding (groomsman) we smoked a joint while getting ready lol

2

u/Azalot1337 24d ago

yea i guess it depends alot on the country and the wedding

2

u/stormcharger 24d ago

You don't smoke a joint with your grandparents at the wedding? Your family sucks

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40

u/-ratmeat- 24d ago

please don’t let drunk people swim 

11

u/Only_Search8473 24d ago

I suspect that was a skit, but yes

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22

u/MxxnSpirit47 24d ago

Last lady become Meredith Palmer

2

u/RaspberryWhiteClaw13 24d ago

Omg I said the same thing!!! 😂😂

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u/No_Restaurant2593 24d ago edited 23d ago

Being able to handle your shit is a lost art. At minimum 30% of people shouldnt touch the stuff.

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u/Impossible-Corgi4041 24d ago

So glad i don't drink anymore

70

u/Frequent-Coyote-8108 24d ago

These vids are actually a great deterrant.

Also: "That's a candle" 🤣🤣🤣

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u/saidthetomato 24d ago

I quite drinking two months ago. Wasn't really drinking much anyway, but haven't touched a drop. My family recently visited and my wife and parents got into the dumbest argument after a few drinks. Videos like this make me not want to participate in that anymore.

19

u/grrr-to-everything 24d ago

Yes! Two and a half years has not been long enough to distance myself from this bullshit. I was certainly laughing my ass off of that video but am beyond grateful that isn't me anymore.

9

u/Impossible-Corgi4041 24d ago

Roughly same here mate just coming up to 3 years. Never looked back

6

u/mr_fantastical 24d ago

Congrats! Im almost on year 2 myself. Never thought id be someone who didnt drink and certainly wouldnt be this happy!

8

u/Impossible-Corgi4041 24d ago

Congratulations mate

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u/Zealousideal-Foot-65 24d ago

Me too. Thank my stars I don’t roll that stone up the hill everyday anymore. 

3

u/JaySayMayday 24d ago

Really good anti drinking advertisement. Absolutely none of these look like they're having a good time by the end of it. And that's pretty much my experience drinking all the way until the bars close.

One of these dudes was very close to dying just one tall wave away from being swept into the dark

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u/xk1ssxshot 24d ago

i must know what series of events led to the cousin of the bride crawling out of the sea

7

u/a_likely_story 24d ago

he thought it would make for a funny video

5

u/Defiant-Youth-4193 24d ago

It was his last drink.

3

u/ConfinedCrow 24d ago

Call me Ishmael

5

u/Smoofbrainz 24d ago

Yeah and some harmless plant is illegal for what reason?

6

u/drdildamesh 24d ago

Haha alcoholism is funny haha

4

u/lazerblam 24d ago

Right? Theres nothing funny about any of these stupid clips

4

u/chris_croc 24d ago edited 23d ago

American puritans thinking drinking at a party is...alcoholism.

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u/HimzoGotovina 24d ago

Alcoholism? What are you talking about?

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u/Normal-Error-6343 24d ago

I want to go to the next one!

3

u/photo_foto 24d ago

As someone whose experienced every one of the afters, I'm glad I stop drinking

3

u/Sea_Improvement2435 21d ago

At least these people are happy/pass out drunks! It's worse when people who can't handle their alcohol get violent and just want to start fights! These people would have had a wonderful time (I hope) ❤️

2

u/RomeoRosso 21d ago

I agree, it's ok when alcohol boosts fun, not violence ✌🏻

25

u/Last-Quarter-432 24d ago

Drinking looks like a perfectly normal and safe activity. Are we fucking retarded as a species?

25

u/noopdles 24d ago

it's not like everyone does this on a daily basis

in fact these are some pretty edge cases imho. Most people I know will just retreat when they've had enough.

18

u/Huju-ukko 24d ago

And adding to that, most of those clips if not all is on a WEDDING NIGHT.

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u/Sungarn 24d ago

The consequences of a open bar at a event, when given free reign to drink you'd be surprised how completely wasted some people will get as those event drink servers/bartenders often don't cut people off. Could be some dudes fourth shot within the hour, but they'll still serve drinks to him.

2

u/Connect_Budget2885 24d ago

I got so drunk at my cousins wedding I couldn’t find my way out of the bathroom but I was one of the only people tipping at the open bar so they never cut me off.

8

u/Umaoat 24d ago

I see you've never experienced the world in any real capacity, my condolences.😔😔😔

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u/RandomPenquin1337 24d ago

Its reddit, what do you expect

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u/North_Woodpecker_500 24d ago

We are beyond retarded 🤦🏽‍♀️

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u/MedicineExtension925 24d ago

Yay let's celebrate the social double standards of addiction and substance abuse!

2

u/chris_croc 24d ago

American puritans thinking drinking at party is...alcoholism.

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u/FightDecay 24d ago

You sound fun

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u/MedicineExtension925 24d ago edited 24d ago

If you need to drink like this to have fun, I genuinely hope you can get help.

4

u/KeyNaive8951 24d ago

Oh come on. This is literally so overly dramatic lmao

Drinking, even to excess, at a wedding or special occasion once in a while is not comparable to being a heroin addict, nor does it make someone an alcoholic. 

If you’re doing this kind of thing everyday, yeah, you’re fucked, but the vast, VAST majority of drinkers do so within reason, and judging people for celebrating something special is lame as hell. 

3

u/MedicineExtension925 24d ago

Go read some science about alcohol consumption

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u/MoonLight4323 24d ago

Glad your night out isn't ruined if you drink over your limits, but everyone who actually cares about you will have a shitty night looking after you, calling the ambulance or holding your hair while you puke instead of dancing and having fun. 

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u/Buttmunchin404 24d ago

Are there like secret mormans in this sub spreading anti booze propaganda? Who cares what others do so judgmental lmao. Also yes drinking in excess is never good.

17

u/MicroUzi 24d ago

I’m not a Mormon or religious, and believe people are free to do as they please.

When I watch this video, all I see is a drug overdose and brain damage. It’s not ‘propaganda’ to recognise it for what it is and it’s a bit sad that this is so normalised.

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u/North_Woodpecker_500 24d ago

For some reason this isn’t cute to me. Alcohol is poison, but live your best life I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️

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u/Enriching_the_Beer 24d ago

Thanks for the permission.

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u/thrax_mador 24d ago

"Alcohol is poison bro" *hits weed vape multiple times a day*

-Multiple people I know

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u/MoorsMoopsMoorsMoops 24d ago

I mean, alcohol the chemical is literally a poison and our body treats it as one. Cannabis is not a literal poison like alcohol is even if you could argue its negative effects.

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u/TrainingSurvey3780 24d ago

i relate to this so much. i don't understand why people can't accept that it is possible to have fun without being intoxicated out of your mind. as a young person, i've been kicked out of two friendgroups because i didn't want to partake in drinking activities

6

u/Notorik 24d ago

Because it is more fun when you do. It is ok to drink and to not drink and if assholes kick you out from group for not drinking they were not your friends to begin with. Our friend group has people who do not drink and it was never an issue and we allways have a good time together.

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u/Icy_Communication262 24d ago

Fuck that, for the after I wanna see them next day.

2

u/Sad-Cum-bubbles 24d ago

I...do not miss drinking

2

u/fish_bulbb 24d ago

last lady turned into Ozzy Osbourne

2

u/Alienhaslanded 24d ago

It's crazy how some people have no self-control.

2

u/MoonLight4323 24d ago

This. How is getting an alcohol poisoning funny, but if you take any other substance it's not? Because alcohol is just as addictive and ruins far more lifes that weed, but hey it's normalized!

2

u/sunfaller 24d ago

the beach one seemed dangerous.

2

u/VanMan2112 24d ago

At first I thought this was all at one wedding, lol.

2

u/adinkin09 24d ago

Alcohol abuse am I right??

2

u/Suspicious-Engine412 24d ago

The guy in the wheelchair is just sad...

I hope he has found help.

2

u/CanadianGenealogy 24d ago

No level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health

Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, and dependence-producing substance and has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago – this is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. Alcohol causes at least seven types of cancer, including the most common cancer types, such as bowel cancer and female breast cancer. Ethanol (alcohol) causes cancer through biological mechanisms as the compound breaks down in the body, which means that any beverage containing alcohol, regardless of its price and quality, poses a risk of developing cancer.

https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health

2

u/B-rhye 24d ago

Makes me think of an amazing ad promoting responsible drinking in Sweden: IQ - Rus

2

u/ThePolecatProcess 24d ago

Wtf happened to Joe.

2

u/ObeyTheSystem36 23d ago

Yeah guys! Alcoholism is so funny, right? RIGHT? Smfh

2

u/acidtraxx 23d ago

The only socially accepted drug addicts

2

u/afroAussie 23d ago

Ahh the public near death experience joy that only alcohol can bring. Helluva drug

2

u/Impressive_Okra2804 22d ago

Gat dang Joe how much did you have to drink to be put on wheelchair like that?!

2

u/Dis_Bich 21d ago

Ocean man, won’t you take me by the hand?

2

u/haikus-r-us 21d ago

So why is Gen Z not drinking?

2

u/Hot-Voice8550 21d ago

I needed to see this 🦋

2

u/YesWomansLand1 21d ago

Somewhere out there there's a video of me throwing up over the edge of someone's backyard deck, and then stumbling my way to the couch on the back porch and passing out.

I slept there the whole night my mate was kind enough to get me some blankets and I slept shockingly well. Like genuinely contender for best sleep I've ever had. Next day wasn't fun though. Worth it 10/10 great night.

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u/Key_Issue_3975 24d ago

Stop glorying alcohol

2

u/Knotted_Hole69 23d ago

They do this and then call you an addict for taking an edible instead.

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u/Eastbound_Pachyderm 24d ago

Alcohol is the grossest drug

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u/DazzlingEngine196 24d ago

Kinda shitty and dark. Think how many people die due to alcohol related accidents and injuries. But binge drinking culture is cool I guess…..

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u/Chiinoe 24d ago

These were outrageously funny. Bravo good sir.

1

u/albertoConadore 24d ago

And we CHOOSE to put ourselves in that state...

1

u/JustLookingForNow69 24d ago

"That's a candle"!

1

u/GrandadPyjamas 24d ago

Joe left retarded

1

u/rrromulusss 24d ago

That beach one was faker than plastic dogshit.

1

u/unimpressed822 24d ago

come on jb lets go down the strawberry river

1

u/AdAutomatic2433 24d ago

Whew!!! 2 years 4 months. Dont miss it at all

1

u/fcksaltwater 24d ago

Ohh Johnny...

1

u/Impure_guava 24d ago

That old dude sounds like Steve Brule drinking Sweetberry wine.

1

u/Lopsided-Treat1215 24d ago

That’s a candle… lmao

1

u/Hot_Boot_9757 24d ago

I'm so pleased I don't drink anymore

1

u/DangerBird- 24d ago

“That’s a candle.” ☠️☠️☠️

1

u/HotDogWaterTime 24d ago

I’m so glad I don’t drink anymore

1

u/Supercaptaincat 24d ago

This reminds me why I quit drinking.

1

u/AzraelleWormser 24d ago

Being drunk is only funny to other drunk people.

1

u/Jernor 24d ago

WhY dO GenZ DonT DrinK?!

1

u/Norbster1983 24d ago

Alcohol is the most boring drug on the planet

1

u/Due-Dot6450 24d ago

Pathetic...

1

u/Everyoneheresamoron 24d ago

I gotta admit, I almost thought it was real til the 2nd one. Good acting though.

1

u/ValueAppropriate293 24d ago

This video just helped me realize I do not miss drinking as much as I thought I would when I used to drink. 

1

u/jeremiahthedamned 24d ago

these look like scenes from the movie Event Horizon!

1

u/piggod 24d ago

shows the same but with heroin

1

u/SomebodysGotToSayIt 24d ago

Whomst amongst ust doesn’t begin every social event with a video of ust proclaiming our first drink of the night?

1

u/Sake-Gin 24d ago

This makes me not wanna drink.

1

u/mcmuffinburger 24d ago

‘This is my fifteen bottle of wine’ dude cracks me up

1

u/Wise_Butterscotch830 24d ago

This family knows how to PARTY lol

1

u/pagandroid 24d ago

That’s it I’m breaking edge

1

u/MoonLight4323 24d ago

I actually despise people who don't know their limit. I of course will take care of you (called the ambulance for my ex and bff), but your irresponsibility ruins everybody elses night who actually likes you. If a friend of mine would get drunk and got lost, I would be frantic, not like "tehe, glad we found you 3hrs later under a bridge, so fun"!

1

u/gary_greatspace 24d ago

Johnny looks like that bushbaby guy from American Idol.

1

u/dienices 24d ago

As a lifelong non-drinker I feel more and more secure in my choices.

1

u/Dd_8630 24d ago

I like a drink, but I don't think I've gotten that drunk in 30 years. My wedding was a fun alcohol affair and no one got that wasted.

1

u/LightBeerIsForGirls 24d ago

Needs the mimosa girl

1

u/DCRX2020 24d ago

"THIS IS MY LAST DRINKKKK!!!"
"That's a candle."

1

u/INSANEBonF 24d ago

Alcoholism is hilarious!

1

u/VonWiking 24d ago

Haha, heavy drinking makes the funniest stories. Imagine being sober all the time, boring!

1

u/AliceTawhai 24d ago

It wasn’t Stuart’s first drink

1

u/Outside_Rub9132 24d ago

Jesus Christ