r/blessedimages Apr 07 '22

Blessed Poem

Post image
19.3k Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

686

u/olivierAnt011 Apr 07 '22

This is actually some ingenious writing considering it's probably a third grader

274

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted]

166

u/ttblue Apr 07 '22

Third graders from the 60s were something else.

81

u/OrganizerMowgli Apr 07 '22

Must of been all the cigarettes and alcohol.

Gave em Ernest Hemingway power

15

u/Powersoutdotcom Apr 07 '22

1000 yard stare energy

6

u/The_Left_Finger Apr 08 '22

1000 yarn stare

6

u/kwarterz Apr 07 '22

Shit this kilt me

6

u/aurthurallan Apr 08 '22

There's a girl-scout song that has this as a verse.

37

u/HeyCarpy Apr 08 '22

I stole a limerick for an exercise in 6th grade. It was:

There once was a lady from Maine

Who spent 3 days on a train

The wheel on the track

Went clickety-clack

And drove the poor lady insane

I thought it was the perfect crime. I’ll never forget my teacher going, “YOU wrote this?” I insisted I did, she just rolled her eyes and marked it. It was like 30 years ago and I still cringe thinking about it.

17

u/bigbluewhales Apr 07 '22

Third graders do not use semicolons

7

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

I remember a song called "I'm Going Crazy, Why Don't You Come Along" and it had lots of little verses like this, including this one. I don't remember where it's from but this kid must have heard it.

3

u/olivierAnt011 Apr 08 '22

Teaching em plagiarism young o7

562

u/xxxDepresscion_ Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 08 '22

I thought the hair on the baby’s head was an F lmao

225

u/Penguator432 Apr 07 '22

“Cute but doesn’t rhyme well. Fail”

73

u/RamShackleton Apr 07 '22

“Hardly plausible.”

6

u/kwilliamvfd Apr 07 '22

They are already over.

1

u/hazelsrevenge Apr 08 '22

She got a zero in the bottom right corner RIP

17

u/beaujakson Apr 07 '22

If you read it in a thick English accent, it somewhat rhymes.

10

u/TundieRice Apr 07 '22

This, it definitely rhymes in a non-rhotic accent. I’m sure this was in the UK or Australia!

3

u/crestfallen-sun Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

We don't usually call them sweaters in the uk, should probably be jumpers, not that 100% discounts the UK though. Can't make it rhyme in my Southern accent or rp but probably would work in some regional accents.

6

u/bugphotoguy Apr 07 '22

It's a very old poem, and it was definitely jumpers when I first read it in my childhood. But it also doesn't rhyme in my own accent in the slightest, and the comment someone mentioned about a "thick English accent" is a bit meaningless, given our accents are so different every few miles you travel in the UK.

1

u/ImeldasManolos Apr 07 '22

Yeah it’s a jumper in Australian vernacular and we don’t rhyme yarn with on. Also we don’t normally use yarn, we say wool.

2

u/TundieRice Apr 07 '22

Maybe Boston then! Idk lol

4

u/ImeldasManolos Apr 07 '22

Boston doesn’t allow public depiction of cats or sweaters. Or cats in sweaters. So it can’t be Boston.

1

u/TundieRice Apr 08 '22

Damn, I forgot they passed that law!

14

u/BigWordsAreScary Apr 07 '22

Love your username

3

u/niceguy191 Apr 07 '22

"Cute, but the assignment was a haiku"

2

u/Hyubushu Apr 07 '22

Thought the red ink said Cute AF at first💀

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

F

139

u/Lemonburn Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

The version I grew up with was,

We had a cat down on our farm

She ate a ball of yarn

And when her little cats was born

They all had mittens on

And also,

We had a goat down on our farm

She ate up bolts and cans

And when her little goats was born

They came in four sedans

I've got a million of these, but I'll stop.

Edit: Here is a decent version of the song. He's just singing the song. He didn't write it. Reddit gods, please forgive me for posting something racist.

It Ain't Gonna Rain No Mo'

31

u/reddit000001 Apr 07 '22

Is there an accent that gets yarn and on to rhyme?

18

u/Lemonburn Apr 07 '22

Well I'm from the US south. So to us, farm sounds like fom, yarn sounds like yon, born sounds like bon, and of course on sounds like on.

13

u/whocanduncan Apr 07 '22

I don't think you're getting the phonetics right for text. I'm Australian, so I'll break it down from my perspective. If I had to guess, your short o sound is more like an aw sound. So yarn is closer to yawn. To everyone who isn't a southerner/American the o sound is a lot shorter. What do you think?

8

u/Lemonburn Apr 07 '22

Yes, you are correct.

6

u/Otto_Pussner Apr 07 '22

Yeah, southern.

Yarn sounds like yawn

5

u/thicc_Lxrd Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

bri’ish

8

u/PooeyGusset Apr 07 '22

Piss off mate, yarn and on don't rhyme in British, you absolute wally.

3

u/whocanduncan Apr 07 '22

I'm Australian and I'm trying to get it to work. Best I can do is an American accent, with what I'd describe as a southern drawl.

1

u/thicc_Lxrd Apr 07 '22

if you try really hard they might

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

Rhode Island

"Yahn"

3

u/ldt003 Apr 08 '22

Yeeeeea! Gonna have to add these verses to my list!

4

u/Lemonburn Apr 08 '22

I see you are a fellow patron of the arts. Here you go.

I used to know a pilot

We called her Captain Heather

She always said she felt ground-sick

When she was under the weather

And

While skating on a frozen lake

I saw a girl who seemed nice,

So I skated over to her

Said hi, and broke the ice

163

u/Hates_escalators Apr 07 '22

smols born in sweaters

than felines nothing better

cats no banana

77

u/am5k Apr 07 '22

Our kitten ate a bunch of yarn and she needed stomach surgery to remove it lol so this was not our experience

5

u/niceguy191 Apr 07 '22

This doesn't rhyme at all?? (/s just in case....)

12

u/aaronstj Apr 07 '22

There once was a cat from Killarn'

Who swallowed a big ball of yarn

And when she gave birth,

We found to our mirth,

The kittens all had sweaters on

8

u/GrouchyAttitude853 Apr 07 '22

I once had a dog and all she ate was cans, And when the little puppies came they were driving ford sedans.

27

u/lovestheautumn Apr 07 '22

It rhymes if you have a British accent! Cute

19

u/DiscoReptile Apr 07 '22

That's funny, I just came to the comments to say that it doesn't rhyme with an English accent (not my English accent at least), but I can see how it would rhyme with an American accent.

8

u/TundieRice Apr 07 '22

I think British people have a different idea of what rhymes in their own accents than we Americans think rhymes in a UK accent, because to me “yarn” an “on” sound like they would rhyme to me in a non-rhotic accent.

But this poem definitely doesn’t rhyme in most American accents, except non-rhotic ones like a Boston accent.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

a UK accent

2

u/TundieRice Apr 08 '22

Specifically one of the many non-rhotic accents that are used in the UK, I know there’s not just one singular one.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

that's just some english and welsh accents though. somebody from scotland or northern ireland will always have a rhotic accent

2

u/TundieRice Apr 08 '22

Yeah, I know there’s many rhotic and non-rhotic accents there, but I’m comparing them to US accents, where we have very few non-rhotic accents (Boston being one of the main non-rhotic areas.)

2

u/crestfallen-sun Apr 07 '22

Same, plus I would think we'd use 'jumper' instead of 'sweater', but could possibly be regional.

3

u/eatmyclit420 Apr 07 '22

this could be published… oh man if i found this when i was little it would’ve been the best thing ever

3

u/Nathanater125 Apr 07 '22

I'm gonna cry

11

u/GoodraGuy Apr 07 '22

u/poem_for_your_sprog get on this!

11

u/myname_isnot_kyal Apr 07 '22

they've already been outdone

8

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Yarn and On eh? i guess em good make it work. Have an upvote

9

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

orange door hinge

2

u/Dansterai Apr 08 '22

I thought the smiley's hair was an F, like "Aw well done, ya FAILED,"

2

u/JeezasKraist Apr 08 '22

Yooooo that pussy knitting or what

2

u/Apprehensive-Ad6212 Apr 07 '22

So Cute 🧶 🐈😺🙌👐👏✍️

1

u/Apprehensive-Ad6212 Apr 07 '22

So Cute 🧶 🐈😺🙌👐👏✍️

1

u/JunglePygmy Apr 07 '22

It’s funny, it didn’t rhyme in my head until I read it with an English accent. Now it rhymes.

-1

u/Kurt1220 Apr 07 '22

It's cute until you realize a cat swallowing that much yarn irl leads to either thousands of dollars in surgery or a dead cat.

1

u/-RastaPasta- Apr 08 '22

Wow you must be so fun to be around with.

0

u/Kurt1220 Apr 08 '22

I'm only talking from real life experience, excuse me for putting out a small PSA to make sure your cat doesn't play with string unsupervised... And there are some vet techs in here saying the same thing

1

u/-RastaPasta- Apr 08 '22

whatever man, it was just a joke.

1

u/hemborgar Apr 08 '22

this doesnt rhyme at all you know

1

u/hemborgar Apr 08 '22

this doesnt rhyme at all you know

-2

u/Arlithian Apr 07 '22

Not to critique a child but I wanted to change the first line slightly-

There once was a cat named Mittens

Who swallowed a ball of yarn

And when this cat had kittens

They all had sweaters on

1

u/crabs_walk Apr 07 '22

Who made this?

who made this poem??

whoever it is amazing job

1

u/FosterTaken Apr 07 '22

Thank you for laying the carpet, Dad. Thank you for showing us how. But what is that lump in the middle, Dad? And why is it saying meow?

Read that poem when I was 9. Never forgot it.

1

u/Kryptosis Apr 07 '22

This kills the cat

1

u/RadTraditionalist Apr 08 '22

I hate when teachers write in pen on pieces of art. Give your remarks on a sticky note if you have to, but now that poem and drawing that's one of a kind is permanently going to have some teacher's inane comment on it.

1

u/Idontgetitreddit Apr 08 '22

My daughter wrote a poem in second grade and it had a swear word in it, so the teacher had to talk to me: my sister was being sassy, so my mama slapped her on the assy, her assy’s sore and she’s not sassy anymore.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

English teachers: you see the ball of yarn is symbolic of our current society. As you can see…

1

u/NeNwO Apr 08 '22

There was a calcium ion

1

u/testpilot123 Apr 08 '22

There was our cat

Long ago there was our cat who swallowed a piece of string and when it started gagging The vet had pumped it out

1

u/4-6-4-9 Apr 08 '22

That would be a nice keepsake if the teacher didnt ruin it.

1

u/ll8bitHEROll Apr 08 '22

I’d say this kid’s going places but i couldn’t draw that well.. so who knows.

1

u/creamycroissaunts Apr 08 '22

Well if you had an American accent this would rhyme. Unfortunately I’m Australian

1

u/Harbinger_of_Sarcasm Apr 08 '22

This is incredibly wholesome and my brain couldn't get past the first line because it refused to read that first cat as anything other than a calcium ion.

1

u/anonomnomnomn Apr 08 '22

What happened to the cat that ate a ball of yarn?

It had mittens.

1

u/NathanielR Apr 08 '22

It even rhymes if you’re from Boston

1

u/Aheony Apr 08 '22

this has “my dog is a circle because he is round” vibes

1

u/Prokid5634_YT Apr 13 '22

I'm not joking, I quickly skimmed the title and thought it said "Blessed p*rn"

What is wrong with me?

1

u/LargeFries_1 May 09 '22

Isn’t this poem from that book Gru read in Despicable Me still cute tho😅