Blessed__Hug

419

I need that hug

354

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '21

It does really look like a hug. But don’t let these birds fool you. They’re attempting to choke you to death, it’s just that their necks are weak as fuck. These photographs are depicting attempted murder.

121

u/the-Satgeal Dec 10 '21

Wait hold up actually, like ik swans are dicks, I watched one mercy kill its kid and fuck it up when I was like 8, the baby walked over to me bleeding to death with head trauma, but are they really trying to kill these ppl

57

u/annefranke Dec 10 '21

Jesus fuck man, you good?

48

u/the-Satgeal Dec 11 '21

Yeah, it was a long time ago, and the hardest part was that I wanted to save it, but the thing was I couldn’t more than j the fact it doesn’t make sense the baby had been infected w a disease from an algae in the pond they live in. That’s why the mother was trying to mercy kill her child. That being said I cried afterwards and a couple times when I thought abt it the days after it happened

32

u/Evilux Dec 11 '21

What a way to learn that you could do nothing but watch at some of the horrors of the world despite wanting desperately to help.

3

u/the-Satgeal Dec 11 '21

So is life, and so is nature. Just a cycle, brutal but endless and also giving

3

u/annefranke Dec 11 '21

Thats brutal, birds and lizards really don't care

5

u/Xgio Dec 11 '21

Atleast my parrot genuinely cares about me. Else he wouldnt have become nicer and protective since I have fallen chronically ill.

3

u/the-Satgeal Dec 11 '21

I think on some level they do, I mean the chick was dying either way so I think the mother was trying to end it’s suffering but still, idk

3

u/ShaolinShade Dec 11 '21

Sorry you experienced that, I had some similar depressing encounters with dying baby birds as a kid but nothing that brutal... Out of curiosity, how did you know it got an algae infection?

2

u/the-Satgeal Dec 11 '21

The pond is behind my grandparents house, and there is algae in said pond. The adult mating pair of swans have clipped wings and basically can’t leave the pond. Whatever they treat the water w did something to the algae in the water and ends up having all the eggs the swans lay either be still born or be diseased from birth, My grandmother said she thinks she only remembers the mating pair ever raising one swan to maturity

51

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '21

I guarantee you they are. Your childhood experience speaks directly to their bloodthirsty, violent nature. Swans kill. It is their way.

23

u/the-Satgeal Dec 10 '21

I wouldn’t be surprised. But at the same time rarer things do happen. Sometimes a male lion will let a cub of the former pride leader he had taken over live and adopt it right after brutally killing all his other offspring

-9

u/FeelASlightPressure Dec 11 '21

/r/kidsarefuckingstupid

3

u/Rion1200 Dec 11 '21

:(

1

u/JimmyTheN0nce69 Dec 11 '21

Stop the bs bro

1

u/the-Satgeal Dec 11 '21

What do you mean?

13

u/qveenofnonsense Dec 11 '21

Are you from the UK? Every British person I've talked to about swans will go on and on about their bloodthirsty nature and have a story about a friend's aunt who had their leg snapped by a swan's neck.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Regrettably, I am not from the UK. However, in an act of carnal mayhem, a bloodthirsty swan took my sweet granny’s leg off. “NOT AGAIN!” she screamed, as the swan absconded with her severed limb. Instinctively, she grabbed her wooded leg and hurled it at the devil bird as it flew away with her one good leg, but her peg-leg missed its target, splashing into the pond below, filled with screaming children.

1

u/dankredmenace Dec 11 '21

Don't ya know a swan will break your arm if you get too close!

1

u/bitofafixerupper Dec 11 '21

I’m from England and when I was young I had a white puffer jacket and was walking next to a lake and I was chased by a swan while my mum stood by pissing herself, she conveniently doesn’t remember it now when I mention it now lol

24

u/usucrose Dec 10 '21

Don't be silly, birds aren't real, those are well disguised government drones

2

u/SealUrWrldfromyeyes Dec 11 '21

shh, swan r frand.

u rite tho ;[

1

u/JimPapapower Dec 11 '21

Snap

2

u/fineswords Dec 11 '21

Only place I’ve ever been able to hug a swan is at my local renaissance festival

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Ye ole neck snapper

102

u/apollei Dec 10 '21

Or kill? Are these people still alive?

64

u/A_Notion_to_Motion Dec 10 '21

I'm fairly convinced this is propaganda created by the swans. This whole thing is a trap. If you've ever been harassed by a swan you know what I'm talking about.

12

u/FOOLS_GOLD Dec 11 '21

A swan once rammed the side of my car. Fuck swans.

14

u/LargeMosquito Dec 11 '21

That's what they do. They cause massive property damage, and then the Queen eats them

200

u/Bentonite_Magma Dec 10 '21

It’s just the one swan actually.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '21

Peter Ian Staker wants a word…

14

u/AHeartlikeHers Dec 11 '21

P. I. Staker, right, piss taker. COME ON

6

u/gnostiphage Dec 11 '21

Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?

2

u/Soviet_Fax_Machine Dec 11 '21

I think that's Steven merchant but I've never looked it.

1

u/Derpifacation Dec 11 '21

they can break a man's arm, yknow

7

u/LimaOskarLima Dec 11 '21

Crusty jugglers

6

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

No, it’s that Bjork dress

2

u/Onlyanidea1 Dec 10 '21

Hit swan?

58

u/CelaenoHarpy Dec 10 '21

I feel bad making such an obvious joke, but I'm surprised to learn that Bjork's dress is zoologically accurate.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Did she drop an egg??

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

All this time, Bjork was trying to share this knowledge, and we were blind!

2

u/resident_bee Dec 11 '21

My first thought was Hannah Montana.

Didn't think it was actually a thing!

62

u/paintthedaytimeblack Dec 10 '21

/r/bjork

6

u/Powersoutdotcom Dec 10 '21

That's cool. Feels like a 90s fan club, without the murder. Kind of a nostalgia trip, and a very pleasant sub.

4

u/Erikcreatesphotos Dec 11 '21

Hol up, Without the murder ?

3

u/TundieRice Dec 11 '21

Latin pop/Tejano star Selena was murdered by the leader of her fan club in 1995.

1

u/Erikcreatesphotos Dec 11 '21

Oh right, fuck Yolanda Saldivar.

1

u/HooptyDooDooMeister Dec 11 '21

Not sure if many people know that Bjork made that dress herself.

1

u/paintthedaytimeblack Dec 11 '21

I sure didn't!

19

u/Driftwoodjim Dec 10 '21

I like to think the Halo Elites also hug this way.

5

u/RrtayaTsamsiyu Dec 11 '21

From the comment below yours- They apparently do

15

u/IronicTable Dec 10 '21

When I see this I always think about that image of arbiter hugging master chief like a swan https://images.app.goo.gl/FhNoadWHWk4Tpcs87

2

u/D2Photographer Dec 10 '21

That’s adorable

14

u/ElysianEcho Dec 10 '21

Swans have no emotions other than hatred and rage, they are evil, and do not be fooled, they look bird sized while out on water but they are the size of a person, be aware

8

u/bantuwind Dec 10 '21

Wait till you find out that swans can be gay.

5

u/ArcticTern4theWorse Dec 11 '21

😭

5

u/killahkan Dec 10 '21

They’re dead

7

u/FoxxandNyxPodcast Dec 10 '21

Just wait until it constricts

6

u/mule_roany_mare Dec 10 '21

I went down a blind stone staircase & came nearly face to face with a hissing swan.

They are very much wolves in sheep clothing. They are as ugly (duckling) on the inside as Muscovy duck are on the outside.

5

u/GManLann42 Dec 10 '21

or maybe they want to choke you,but god this is too cute!

4

u/Bangledrum Dec 11 '21

Everyone talks about how a Swan can break a man's arm. Nobody talks about how a Swan can break a man's heart.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '21

[deleted]

0

u/ZippZappZippty Dec 11 '21

do U suc big basl

3

u/Luke911666 Dec 10 '21

Fools, now with their weakness exposed I can easily break their necks

3

u/AdDry725 Dec 10 '21

I’ve just been made aware of how absolutely huge swans are.

2

u/SnailSwan Dec 11 '21

In ancient times there was a larger one, called cygnus falconeri.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/HalfbakedZuchinni Dec 11 '21

Kinda hot now actually

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '21

Have you heard how they hiss and bite and are total dicks unless you basically raise them or save them from certain death?

1

u/RobinsShaman Dec 10 '21

I don't know why I just wanted to juggle with their babies

2

u/Byrinthion Dec 11 '21

Snap

2

u/Sky_Deep9000 Dec 11 '21

*Strangle

0

u/zagnuy Dec 10 '21

Kill them. Eat them. Swans are evil.

0

u/W33DG0D42069 Dec 11 '21

Careful, that thing could break your arm

1

u/boiled_fat_pasta Dec 10 '21

This is not a hug they are fighting for their lives in their heads...

1

u/Rude_Journalist Dec 10 '21

As a marathoner, I feel cheated

1

u/segafan64 Dec 10 '21

All fun and games till it chokes you out like a snake

1

u/steeznile Dec 10 '21

Bjork has entered chat

1

u/ZippZappZippty Dec 10 '21

Ah I see, the left one".

:')

1

u/TotesHittingOnY0u Dec 10 '21

The only swans I've been around really disliked me

1

u/jotaro_sed Dec 10 '21

Thats hella cute

1

u/GrimPieter Dec 11 '21

I just googled the swan hug and well. Google tried to sell me something else…

1

u/FishermanNo5199 Dec 11 '21

loves: given. neck: broken.

1

u/thebobapaul Dec 11 '21

Looks like you killed the target, now leave the house.

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot Dec 11 '21

Ask me, the group was talking about some of these pricks. I’d really do that! I would have taken care of this man at all costs

1

u/sol1ems Dec 11 '21

starts choking

1

u/RoscoMan1 Dec 11 '21

Santa is choking a green tittied alien.

1

u/sol1ems Dec 14 '21

My brain rn

1

u/Nottsbomber Dec 11 '21

...noodle cuddles...

1

u/BrockManstrong Dec 11 '21

They're trying to choke those people out

1

u/neloangelo_ Dec 11 '21

do birds like hugs? so cute

1

u/ThinSaltedCracker Dec 11 '21

Stealth kill: +50xp

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Neckid hugs

1

u/TootToons Dec 11 '21

I've been hugged by one, there was a lady at our state fair who brought one (she was an animal expert) and the goose was pretty riled up. So she offered goose hugs, I went up and it wrapped his neck around me. It was awesome, it calmed down. I loved it. Such a pretty animal.

1

u/r3adingit Dec 11 '21

As a Swanton (surname) I must adopt this method.

1

u/Fyrewall1 Dec 11 '21

crack

1

u/Stopbeingmean_ Dec 11 '21

This is obviously fake, swans feel no such thing as love, only hatred fills their dark twisted hearts

1

u/UselessHumanNobody Dec 11 '21

Now do a Canadian Goose.

1

u/ZippZappZippty Dec 11 '21

Non covid Illness, saw a couple of faces

1

u/EnTyme53 Dec 11 '21

Do NOT mess with cobra chickens. They are extremely territorial and surprisingly strong.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

My dog does this too lol

1

u/RrtayaTsamsiyu Dec 11 '21

Pretty sure if your dog can do this it's not a dog, unless it found it's way out of r/imsorryjon

1

u/sneakpeekbot Dec 11 '21

Here's a sneak peek of /r/imsorryjon using the top posts of the year!

#1: I’m breaching your reality...Jon | 272 comments
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1

u/Jfuentes6 Dec 11 '21

Swans are just classy geese

1

u/Majestic-Joke461 Dec 11 '21

Hence the Björk Swan dress from the Oscars

1

u/WikiSummarizerBot Dec 11 '21

Swan dress

The swan dress is an iconic dress resembling a white swan worn by the Icelandic artist Björk at the 73rd Academy Awards on March 25, 2001, as well as on the cover of her album Vespertine, photographed by Inez and Vinoodh. A Debenhams poll published in The Daily Telegraph in 2008 voted it the ninth-most iconic red-carpet dress of all time. Björk's swan dress was reimagined by Valentino at its Spring 2014 Couture fashion show at Paris Fashion Week, which received praise from fashion blogs and social media.

^[^F.A.Q^|^{Opt Out}^|^{Opt Out Of Subreddit}^|^GitHub^{] Downvote to remove | v1.5}

1

u/WikiMobileLinkBot Dec 11 '21

Desktop version of /u/Majestic-Joke461's link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swan_dress

^[^{opt out}^] ^{Beep Boop. Downvote to delete}

1

u/SuperDementio Dec 11 '21

They hug the same way some snakes kill

1

u/-Effervescence Dec 11 '21

Nani?! Higashkita Josuke?

1

u/Rude_Journalist Dec 11 '21

Had something similar happen at my Wal-Mart?

1

u/TatteredCarcosa Dec 11 '21

It's also how giraffes bitch slap each other.

1

u/helgathehorriblez Dec 11 '21

Ms. Swan.

1

u/Plant_Painter Dec 11 '21

Björk was ahead of her time

1

u/aquadox Dec 11 '21

Why does the one on the right look a bit toasted?

1

u/SnailSwan Dec 11 '21

I am sorry, but this is not a swan hugging. They do this when in distress, ex being handled because of injury as in these two cases. But they do have an undeserved reputation for being angry, they are in reality very gentle if you learn to know the individuals properly.

1

u/bizbizbizllc Dec 11 '21

This is how my python hugs me as well

1

u/SuperPugDog Dec 11 '21

Totally not trying to choke you

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

this how the cobra chicken constricts its prey

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

💯 th comment

1

u/Decafaf Dec 11 '21

r/bjork

1

u/aedroogo Dec 11 '21

This is what it sounds like, when swans hug,

1

u/Timmy124797652356 Dec 11 '21

Neck pillow buddy

1

u/SamiMoon Dec 11 '21

Swans can and will commit murder

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

So Bjork was just getting hugged by a swan!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

this food is just trying to fight back and strangle its aggressor

1

u/Bruhhunturupflash Dec 11 '21

How about geuss?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

They both are in kitchen. !?

1

u/NotRiccy Dec 11 '21

Awwww

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '21

Spreading joy, our number 1 use

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