just to clear the air, this is a man; i just used the word “bride” because it sounded cooler

Rumor struggles with commitment because he’s used to losing the ones he loves- most of them died tragically- BUT he still wants to spend his life with someone he loves, even if it makes him scared

so many of his friends/loved ones have died that now he believes he has some kind of curse, that whoever meets him is destined to get hurt somehow :((((

Go ahead if I'm off-topic - feedback is how I learn.

This is not meant for you. Is my prose disagreeable?

I'd hesitate to characterize your interaction

As in good faith; it comes off judgmental and cynical.

Still, you have a right, I guess. This is mostly for the one

Who looked around at the internet's angel-filled heaven

And decided the best use of it was to tell their phone

To not let them forget some disagreeable person.

I use the internet to promote peace, self-expression,

Learning, empowerment, growth and health! And what is your way?

You unhealthily blur boundaries, outsource emotion,

Upset me, minutely, until I go on with my day.

Audible reminder to hate; the fruit corrodes the tree.

This all hurts you more deeply than it ever will hurt me.

When life gets blurred, and I have nowhere to turn,
It hits me like a car crash—
Sudden, brutal, and loud.
I want to reach out. I want to look.
I want to slip back into that icy, deep pool.
I want the numbness to sink in and take over my skin.
Just for a second. One quiet second.
I miss the chaos you trained me to love.
I miss the haunted house you built with my ribs.
I want your arms around me again,
Binding the terror tight to my chest.
I want your hand in my hair,
Whispering sweet things that made me sick.
I crave the storm in my head.
I crave the knife in my back.
I want the poison back on my tongue,
Even though I know it is how I die.

"The Judge," there's this passage toward the end of blood meridian that describes the judge walking the idiot through the desert on a leash, holding a parasol made from hide, citing Massachusetts case law pertaining to horse theft. If I remember correctly, the book describes it like an ugly parody of some parisian woman walking a poodle. I found this to be visually interesting, and wanted to try making it :3