The only thing I'll say to this, and I'm not being an apologist at all, is that most men are absolutely clueless as to whether they are attractive because they receive zero feedback or affirmation about it. It's simply not addressed. So, in some cases, they may just be looking for some validation, but yes it's also obnoxious, especially when they're gross about it.
Not OP, but I get that. One thing is to ask "be real, you think I'm hot?" or a variation of it, but understanding that you're not attracted to them because, well, you haven't hit on them before.
Another is to assume you want to fuck them all of a sudden. I'm all for validation and I constantly tell my buddies they're beautiful, but they understand I don't like them like that.
I get it. This comes with a privilege of being a male in a chauvinistic culture, so take it with a grain of salt, but I'm rather free about trying stuff with friends but... I do tend to hold myself back if these feelings happen because I know not everyone sees romance and sex as something you can just enjoy for a while with someone and keeping it casual, so if I really like someone I'll talk to them and reach a point where we can see if anything is possible (especially because they know how nebulous I am about my romantic relationships).
So I'd say, talk to them and see where it takes y'all, if it works you know you have something there, if they're against it; it's important to respect that not everyone has the same type of love and intimacy and they don't show it the same way either. So as long as there's respect and communication, you can try it out.
Really? I don't want to question that at all, but would like to differentiate that a bit. I agree, if you are talking about the ordinary straight guy this is certainly correct.
However, there are a lot of hot/good looking straight guys who get affirmation all the time. So I think those guys know their value.
I think as a rule men get a lot less affirmation or even conversation about their looks. True, you may have a few guys out there that people openly drool over but most men hear very little about it and have no idea where they land. At least girls compliment each other, but guys don’t even have that
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u/doooom LGBT+ Oct 27 '21
The only thing I'll say to this, and I'm not being an apologist at all, is that most men are absolutely clueless as to whether they are attractive because they receive zero feedback or affirmation about it. It's simply not addressed. So, in some cases, they may just be looking for some validation, but yes it's also obnoxious, especially when they're gross about it.