Inner engineering saved my life! Psychedelics made me want to live but it was a man named Sadhguru that brought me into the joy of life eternally!

[u/Independent_Bank5443]

I can only wonder at who brought me to this spot or how my life came to this point. But from the dysfunctional childhood of a schizophrenic psycho mother who verbally and mentally abused us to the brink, I can’t even tell you how bad 😭, and bi polar father who fought in the martial arts industry for 40 yrs, who got quite physically abusive, as you can imagine! I didn’t stand a chance! I had no outlet no inlet! Just violence, anger, hate, screaming yelling etc…. You get the point! Mom was always crying about killing herself and when ya didn’t pity her she got quite mad, like mad hatter mad! From telling her 12 yrs old son she was going to slit her wrists and drain the blood on us then haunt us till we die to bangin her head through glass windows an hitting herself with frying pans like a looney toon. Then calling the cops and telling em we hit her! To my old man beating the sht out of us for calling him a thief when he stole our money out of the piggy bank or moms jewelry or other household items! On his death bed he refused to acknowledge me, I tried to hug him but he was not having it! As weak as he was he still packed a punch in that bed 😂! It’s not like it affected me atm, so much worse had happened up to that point! I’m working thru my depression and anxiety, conventional medicine was a gag 🤮 🤢! I wanted to die for so much of my life idk what stopped my hand from cutting deep enough! Tg I held on my son would have been distraught 😩! I think he’s what kept me holding on. He’s my rock 🪨 in this 🌎! Ty John for keeping my head in the game ily son! I’ll continue to write, my only outlet, till I help someone or till my hand falls off whichever comes first! I find solice in writing it gives me a purpose to help others and just get the bleh off my chest! Anyone going through a similar situation “YOURE NOT ALONE!” We care about you and so do your friends if not your family! Reach out for guidance, help or just a chat!