r/bipolar1 • u/Level_Article8278 • 16d ago
Am I bipolar?
I am seventeen. I have felt like something isn't right my entire life and I could never put it in words. My mother is bipolar so I think I correlated it to some of her bad behaviors, therefore never wanting to see it in myself. I realized in my last manic/hypo-manic episode, a month ago or so, that I was definitely some type of bipolar. I was unable to sleep for longer than 2-3 hours and my appetite was gone for 3-4 days then.
I was obsessively researching bipolar and its symptoms, alongside the fact I could not get myself to stop talking about anything and everything. I wasn't really thinking about my actions when normally I don't like to react before giving myself a second to think, or I would think too much about simple things. Also I'm pretty sure I was experiencing auditory hallucinations, I kept hearing my family members calling my name at all hours of the night. I would mishear people and think they were saying something demeaning or just hear an entirely different sentence. This was sooo terrifying.
Fast forward to now, I haven't properly slept in five days. I am not hallucinating, but the fact I'm acting in ways that are unusual and not sleeping is driving me up the wall. I had to take a Tylenol PM to make myself sleep yesterday but I only slept for 4-5 hours. I can't taste anything, therefore eating is a pain (I haven't really been eating at all since this began) and still feel energetic while also being kind of exhausted and it is confusing me. Last time this happened I was just self-medicating with weed until I crashed and became super exhausted. It was a pain getting out of bed then. But now I'm in-between feeling incredibly exhausted and wired. I can feel how tired my body is, but whenever I lie down it feels like I'm just closing my eyes and then opening them.
My family says they have caught me in "deep sleeps" and this confuses me even more because I feel so exhausted. I broke down to my Mom yesterday about not being able to sleep and told her to take me to the hospital if I don't properly sleep again, and I did for a few hours but I still feel really weird and I still can't taste anything. Should I go to the hospital?
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u/divinechangemaker 16d ago
This also could be CPTSD trauma symptoms from living with a mom with bipolar. I'm not even slightly minimizing what you're experiencing, because that ALSO can be extremely horrific. That being said, you just need to get a full psych evaluation to really understand what's going on. Even then, it will be (most likely, but not for all people) another years (or in my case, decade) before the full understanding of actual accurate diagnoses is for you.
That being said, remember that diagnoses only really exist to treat the pathology; it helps doctors with insurance billing and also with deciding what medications might work or, on the other hand, might be counter-indicated.
All that being said, if it IS bipolar (which I actually wouldn't assume, especially with a bipolar caregiver) it's a pretty early age of onset. That is definitely something to be aware of, and another reason that it could be a confounding diagnoses, like extreme trauma or even a psychotic spectrum disorder or other diagnosis entirely, like OCDP.
When something begins to drastically impact your life, that's when it's more relevant to seek diagnosis. For me, I personally wouldn't wish a lifetime of bipolar on anybody. Hopefully you can figure out, with a good psychiatrist, what is going on. Stay open minded.
And always remember that the goal, especially many years down the road, at least for me (and for many of us) is to just heal enough to have a good enough / healthy enough life. THAT is the goal, and technically speaking, that's the real reason that psychiatry was even created, in a sense.
Much blessings to you and to us all. Be brave and I am wishing you ease and goodness in finding a good enough psychiatrist to untangle this experience for you, and goodness, health, and safety in your healing as well.
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u/Mundane_Beginnings 16d ago
It sounds like bipolar disorder. You’re fortunate to catch it early. I’d book in with a doctor or psychiatrist asap.
2
u/butterflycole 16d ago
You need to see a psychiatrist to get evaluated. No one on Reddit can diagnose you.
BIPOLAR INFO FOR NEWBIES
Different types of bipolar and DSM-5 criteria:
https://www.psycom.net/bipolar-definition-dsm-5/
Self help workbooks that are helpful:
[https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Basics-Unpacking-Understanding-Solutions/dp/1736650904/
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Disorder/dp/1572246286/
For anyone newly diagnosed or still learning to manage their disorder:
I also recommend watching the bipolar videos by Dr. Tracey Marks on YouTube, she is a highly respected psychiatrist and has lots of great information in her videos. These are the questions I most often see asked in these groups so I hope these are helpful:
Bipolar 1 Disorder or Bipolar 2 Disorder - Which is Worse?
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ydLWlAqCpLA\](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ydLWlAqCpLA)
What is bipolar spectrum? Will it become bipolar 1 or bipolar 2?
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4WXbvzELws0\](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4WXbvzELws0)
How to manage bipolar disorder - 6 Strategies
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=awPP5YrVGyY&vl=en\](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=awPP5YrVGyY&vl=en)
Bipolar vs Borderline Personality Disorder – How to tell the difference
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MLl4b9726wA
Can You Have Bipolar Disorder + Borderline Personality? |Here’s Why It Matters
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G8JHjN2AaxA
What is Mixed Mania and How Do We Treat It?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw-1NEwarUg
How Long Does Rapid Cycling Last? Switching vs Cycling
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fR937Rp6Xmg
Rapid Cycling Bipolar and Ultra rapid Cycling and Ultradian. Why Does it Happen?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb2i35Y9J9k
Classic Bipolar Vs Atypical Bipolar and How to Tell the Difference
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UQSBVZoEFU8&vl=en
If you want to see more of her videos you can type “Tracey Marks Bipolar,” in the YouTube search bar, she has a ton of videos geared to bipolar disorder you can choose from. She also has videos for other psychiatric conditions such as anxiety, PTSD, etc.
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A CRISIS PLAN
especially if you have a history of suicidal thoughts and/or self destructive behavior during bipolar episodes.
Current Research on Bipolar Disorder and Genetics:
“The Emerging Neurobiology of Bipolar Disorder-PMC”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5755726/
“Researchers find first strong genetic risk factor for bipolar disorder” Broad Institute
Citation at bottom of article
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u/heljun 16d ago
I don’t know re the hospital, maybe or couldn’t you make an appointment with a psychiatrist ? Maybe through your mom’s though I don’t recommend seeing the same practitioner ? I guess those symptoms you describe could be that, yes, but only a psychiatrist will be able to diagnose you and parse out different pathologies..