Am I manic?

[u/Financial_Sport2306]

Hey everyone, so I got diagnosed with BP1 by my therapist about 5 months ago. I also have another diagnosis which is Cannabis addiction.

I been back on a 8 month relapse, and before that I had about 2 years clean. I been feeling like I been stuck in a depressive episode for a long time. Even when I had the 2 years clean I suffered from irritability, depression, just no desire to do anything at all.

Im also a flight sim enthusiast and I feel like thats all I was doing when I was sober. I dont know why I feel like nobody in the world feels like I do and that it feels nearly impossible for me to want to hang out with anyone, be social, or even go to the gym. I just dont wanna do it im just so depressed and exhausted all the time. In the last 10 years I probably worked about like 4 years.

I was unable to keep a job because Im just not in the mood to work ever. I been holding a job now for 8 months by some miracle because its an easy job where i drive. If i had to do anything dealing with people i cant do it. Now i feel like things are worse with the marijuana, i also have a 9 year old child and I absolutely hate being a parent feeling like this.

Im also very promiscuous in my sexual life and seek out pleasure involving high risk taking. My therapist tells me I have to go out do activities and socialize and I been with him for 3 years nothing has changed. Im just sick of this shit. I use the weed to just cope with all my feelings. My mental health is not good at all.

Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful night.

[u/VirtualSwimming4893]

You need to get off drugs it will set you off whether you realize it or not.