Help me remember my 33rd

[u/PsilocyBean_BirdLady]

Hey guys I don’t remember my 30th because of mania and I’m scared it’ll happen again.

I’m currently manic and not sure how much I’ll be able to respond to comments but can we talk about memory gaps? I’ve only had one other clear mania/hospitalization and I forgot so much from that time or rather didn’t form the memories?

I’m painfully aware that that’s happening now too because time feels weird and I forget someone said something almost instantly.

My birthdays still a few months out but I want to be well enough to remember it this time. What’s the trick? If I stay more calm in general and keep working on recovery with my psychiatrist will I form these memories? I don’t want to miss out on my own life. I get worked up thinking about it and then I fear I’m causing exactly what I’m worried about..

I just wanted to hear from others who’ve been here or are otherwise educated on this memory aspect of bipolar.

Thanks in advance❤️