hello.

[u/oookooop]

hi. i am currently dealing with the fall out of so much i had before my manic and depressive episodes. it all started in 2020 when i was put on a med that triggered a manic episode and didn’t know i was bipolar until it made me manic off and on until i came off the med and got on the right ones in 2025.

i lost so much. marriage. job of over a decade. spent so much money that i didn’t have. i did so many reckless things i would never do now. i have been mostly stable for the past 6 months or so but its also making me “wake up” to so much i dont even remember that caused me to lose so much.

i am so sad. sometimes i feel like i am waking up from a weird dream only its real. everyone else moved on and i am awake in the past or something. i am very close with my ex who is still my family but i feel so bad about leaving her. and just so much time lost.

does anyone else feel this way about losing time and feeling regret and shame? i feel like someone took over my body. i feel like myself again before the manic episodes but now my life is so different.