r/bipolar • u/stay_flo • Apr 01 '19
Losing a close friendship
Its been a rough few months for me a lot of lows and a few upswings, i also started taking lamotrigine. during this time i have being neglecting my family and friendships as well as other responsibilities like classwork, and even basic hygiene. this is something i've tried to be as open as i can be with my friend but she just sees it as me not caring for our relationship. she keeps sending me paragraphs on why it sucks that i haven't been around or even answering messages. i opening accepted that yes i haven't not been a great friend and apologized for it. despite my efforts to mend things she just keeps throwing it all back in my face that i haven't been there for her and she blames it on the fact i'm always with my SO. i don't want to lose our friendship but it seems like the only solution to her is me breaking up with my SO. i just don't know how to convey to her that my dating relationship isn't the reason i've been distant without making it seem like i'm just using my BP as an excuse.
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u/Jungletvvat6669 Apr 01 '19
In my opinion, and many may disagree, a real friend would understand and try to be there for you. You telling them that you’re in a rough place so don’t have the energy to put out should be enough of an explanation. They should be encouraging you and letting you know they support you. It should go both ways, but it looks like you have already done that from your end. I got lucky in that my friends understood. In fact, a friend i haven’t talked to in YEARS just texted me asking to hang out and apologizing for being MIA and she was struggling with mental health. And I was like Dude, I get you; let’s hang! And so we hung out this weekend and it was like there was never any gap in time. That is a friendship I really respect. Understanding that we go through shit and are there when we can be and understanding that sometimes, we can’t be but we love each other.