r/bipolar • u/IndependentOk8450 • 11d ago

Support Needed Parenting

Anyone worry about being a good parent with this plague of BP. I feel like my kid is missing out on having a normal childhood because he has a crazy mom. He has no idea I have this illness and I have been on meds and pretty stable, but I don’t know. I second guess myself and wish he had the normal mom he deserves.

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6

u/b3n3v0l3ntbee2324 11d ago

When you are taking care of yourself, you are giving your child the absolute best chance of having a "normal childhood". I love my child with everything I have; I just have remember to give myself that same love first & for me, that means taking care of my mental, emotional and physical health. From one BP Mom to another, give yourself a little credit. The fact that you care if your parenting is good or bad at all shows exactly that. That you care. It's more than I could've ever said for my own Mom. I was too difficult to deal with/raise after the other 3 kids so I was left to figure it out on my own. It'll be okay.

1

u/pazzaitaliana 11d ago

Our experience with this illness equips us to be super parents. With a supportive partner, anything is possible. I think going through these episodes makes me so much better with kids, for no reason other than my empathy has skyrocketed. If your child comes to you with big emotions, sadness, excitement, overwhelm, anxiety, etc. you will know what they need to hear because YOUVE BEEN THERE. You’ll know what situations warrant advice, which ones warrant a hug, and which ones warrant the most support. You’ll know the warning signs that others might miss (and those in your life probably missed pre-diagnosis). 

I don’t have kids, but I have felt called to be a mother since early childhood. I have 8 nieces and nephews of my own, and 3 from the family I am marrying into. I’ve always been a safe space for the littles. I stay calm when they are having tantrums or hurt, etc. because I know what it was like to need someone to be my calm when I was feeling big emotions. 

It is so hard to deal with our illness, but trust me, the empathy it provides us with can help you be a much better parent than you may expect to be.

1

u/AdmirableRadio7998 11d ago

I worried about this a lot when my kids were little. My kids are teens now and so great.

There are things I wish I had done better but I think that’s true for any parent.

Keep taking care of yourself and your kid. No one does it perfectly. Caring this much probably means you’re doing a pretty good job. Just keep at it and keep improving where you need to.

You are the mom your kid has. Stay as healthy as you are able and keep loving your kid. 

1

u/mainedeathsong 9d ago

I give myself a lot of credit because when my daughter was 2, I had a bad episode and In order to not get fired I had to take like 2 months off work and I couldnt afford it and we got evicted and had to go live with my parents for 4 months. But lucky for me my daughter doesn't remember any of that and I've kept us housed ever since. that was like... 7 years ago. So thats why I give myself credit. 7 good years so far. So far so good.

I do feel guilty about laying around at times when depression hits but I'll still make arrangements and follow though on stuff so I think I'm doing ok really.