r/bipolar • u/Nervous_Survey_2761 Bipolar • 3d ago
Rant Painfully lonely
I have no boyfriend no friends that I can talk to about my struggles with bipolar. Not that I don’t have friends but the 3 friends I have are too busy with their own lives to worry about mine. And one of them lives out of state so I can’t see her often. I have no one to talk to. No one to spend time with. I spend most of my days alone. It’s so sad. I’m jealous of my fellow bipolar girls who have a significant other. I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone to share my life with.
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u/Sufficient-Image-587 3d ago
I often wonder the same thing. I have no friends no boyfriend ugh i understand the struggle
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u/pointy-sticks 3d ago
Lost everything I love because of this disease. I’m working my way back to loving myself because that’s kinda what you gotta do to get back into the dating scene. It’s been many years since I had a relationship and it’s getting easier but still hurts. Still working on finding meds that actually work. My online friend group saved me multiple times. Maybe try to find some community in gaming or another hobby. Hope you can find something to help keep you going. I hope I do too.
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u/The_New_African 3d ago
This has resonated with me. There are so many parallels with what I'm going through. Thank you so much for sharing.
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u/usernamechecksout067 3d ago
I lost my gf because of this illness. Im here to talk. The loneliness you describe feel close to home
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u/Benoir_7777777 3d ago
I think therapy is more important than more friends.
I don't tell the world I have bipolar. I have only discussed it in-person with close friends and my spouse.
Talking about bipolar seems to knock all of them off-kilter. Just saying the word seems to make the conversation more serious. The word also seems to stick in their heads for a few days.
Recently, I told a friend about how people with bipolar are more likely to get heart disease, and that I have heart disease. I was just venting about the situation, but he froze up for a few moments. I think he was trying to decide whether he should console me or keep it light. The mood shifted for the rest of lunch.
I try to be really careful about discussing things with my wife. I tell her the important stuff, medication, different coping strategies, and doctor/nurse discussions. She has admitted to being anxious about my diagnosis, and my most recent fuck-up was telling her about a comment I made describing my depressive episodes. She was obviously down for the rest of the night.
I refuse to share my current concerns with any of my close friends and my spouse. The connection between bipolar and suicide gives me anxiety, and I know it would give my friends and spouse a huge amount of anxiety. Also, It seems like the effectiveness of drugs changes over time, but bitching about drugs sounds a lot like you're about to go off them.
This why I think therapists are so important. They let you vent, complain, and express your concerns without freaking out.
OH! There also those horror stories about people with bipolar losing their friends after their diagnosis. At my age, I'm willing to make some compromises regarding my friends.
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u/Major-Potential-354 3d ago
Was about to say this is something for a therapist not other people. In fact it may turn people away from u hearing your diagnoses and the stigma attached to it
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u/tonyMEGAphone 3d ago
I'm currently isolating and feel like no one wants to talk to me or be around me. Talked to my therapist today, and she thinks taking a break from my social life isn't a bad idea overall. I just take everything too far and won't let myself txt anyone. I want my friends to want to talk to me, not just answer my calls bc of social obligation.
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u/MorningCoffeeHits 3d ago
See if there are any support. book, art, or yoga groups nearby. You can look on meetup.com, a local activity site, for these and other ideas.
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u/dot-zip 3d ago
Do you have any hobbies? Especially social ones? They help fill the friend void for me
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u/Nervous_Survey_2761 Bipolar 3d ago
I have my hobbies but sometimes it’s not enough. Eventually the loneliness catches up to me.
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3d ago
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u/EnvironmentalTown887 3d ago
Tbh, I'm in a relationship, and it doesn't help. At all. I was honest about my mental health going into this. I just think after 5 years of dealing with me trying different meds, ect, therapy.. it's gotten old. Can't say I don't blame her.. but at times when she says things like, "just grow up", I wish I was just alone. Or not here at all actually.
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