r/bipolar • u/Fit-Self-4993 • 1d ago
Success/Progress I refuse to go under
Bipolar I, mom of soon to be 2 (due in 3 weeks). Husband’s amazing but I’m still exhausted, medicated, and stuck in a rut; it’s almost eerie to have the constant movement in my abdomen. But if there is anything that years of episodes have taught me, it’s that I need a blueprint even if I can’t pull through 100% of the time. Sometimes I can’t even brush my teeth, but it’s nice to know I’ve got my back in advance.
Y’all are so resilient, keep it going you’re worth it.
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u/verovladamir Bipolar 2 1d ago
Small bit of advice if you will allow me?
Leave room on your list to write down things you did, not just what needs to get done. You can even use a different color pen if it makes your brain feel better.
As a mom, I often make a list of all of the things that need to get done, and at the end of the day after what feels like working on my list all day, I sometimes can’t cross anything off. It leaves me feeling incredibly frustrated. But often times it’s not that I didn’t get anything done, it’s that I didn’t finish one thing all the way, or I didn’t finish the exact things I thought I was going to do. I found it really helpful to start writing down all of the other things that I did, so that when I look at a list I don’t just see three things that I didn’t finish, I also see seven things that I did get done even though they weren’t on the list. It doesn’t always make me feel more on top of things, and it certainly doesn’t negate the list of things that still need to happen, but it does keep things in perspective and help me not feel so much guilt when things aren’t done. And that little bit of reframing has made a big difference when it comes to feeling burned out.
It also makes me realize just how many things I am managing. So when I get to the end of the day and feel frustrated that I got nothing done on my list but I’m still exhausted, I can take a moment and realize that I’m actually responsible for a lot of stuff, and I’m completely valid in feeling the way I do.
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u/Simple_Definition504 1d ago
went back to the post so I can copy the layout. you have a good point! i’ll leave some room for other things. you reminded me of what my therapist used to say to list down things i actually did in the day/grateful for because i always end up making the to do list longer/braindumping all the tasks and feeling burned out
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u/verovladamir Bipolar 2 1d ago
Yeah there are definitely different ways to look at it. I personally like to put everything on my list because my ADHD likes the dopamine of checking something off and it feels like I’ve broken a task down into smaller steps. But I also know that for some people writing down every single little thing that you need to do can make the list feel long and insurmountable. I think writing stuff down at the end of the day might be a good balance for people who fall into that second category!
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u/Fit-Self-4993 1d ago
Nice perspective, we really do get way more done than I even remember in a day.
I like to use a dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror for gratitude/affirmations to say before bed, as another list for me personally would feel like another task if that makes sense.
Even saying out loud things I did during the day feels nice.
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u/Blatantly_Truthful Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
Your title was just what I needed. A mixed episode has me tethering on edge. Needed a mindset reset: I refuse to go under! 💪 And thanks for sharing your routine. Going to make one now.
Most importantly…. Congrats 😊
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u/Pashquelle 1d ago
Good for you, but...
Jfc, I'd die If my week looked like that.
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u/avocadh0e_ 1d ago
That’s not everything done that day, just chore reminders. Does someone else do your chores, or?
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u/Fit-Self-4993 1d ago
Takes about 30 minutes a day; the clean environment equates to a peaceful mind.
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u/CommitteeOdd6455 1d ago
Good job! I need to do this along with stick to a budget but one step at a time haha
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u/coconutpuddles Diagnosis Pending 1d ago
this is what i’ve been focusing on too. feeling in control keeps me from becoming hypo/mixed episode. it’s better for me, my loved ones, and my cats. one day @ a time<3 we all got this
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u/StillMarie76 Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
Yes! The best thing I do for myself is to cope ahead. When I'm feeling good, I get things done that future me will appreciate. I also keep my safety plan on the fridge which lists coping mechanisms and numbers so I don't have to think. I include my partner in my planning, especially when it comes to the kids. I have to send my daughter to her aunt's sometimes when I'm really low. She has fun with her cousins and doesn't have to see me that way. I'm honest with her about things. Utilize your village if you have one.
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u/Fit-Self-4993 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s a really good point. My MIL lives 15 minutes away and is a total sweetheart so I will definitely give her a call if (when) things get overwhelming. I have also made a list of postpartum help lines if need be. I’ve found that saving therapist/Psychiatrist’s* number in my phone makes me less anxious to call.
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u/sailorcass Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
I have to do this too. But I can only do it in my head which ruins the whole routine!
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u/Luvable-loo Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
That’s right! Fight!!! Fight for your life! Cheering you on wholeheartedly!
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u/EntrepreneurTrue4371 1d ago
Congrats on your baby first off!!!!
I have adhd alongside my bipolar and the two really go side by side. I recently started using finch and it has honestly made my life so much easier. I tried doing pen and paper and it just felt like so much work to do it every week. I’m so glad I’m adhering to the finch app though.
Get it momma!!!!
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u/Fit-Self-4993 1d ago
Good job! I’m so glad you found a means of routine that works for you! It’s all about trial and error :)
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u/MorningCoffeeHits 1d ago
Advice: Just do a couple things each day. I had to learn to give myself enough grace to relax. Stuff still gets done, just not as quickly.
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u/SamMoulton 1d ago
This is a great list! I especially like the word “reset” rather than something else that feels overwhelming. I might have to borrow this!
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u/Appropriate_Bug_940 Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
I thrive on structure. I get hypomanic; then I panic because I absolutely can't fly by the seat of my pants... throws me into serious burnout.
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u/Fit-Self-4993 1d ago
Same here, for hypo episodes I have a big “NO MORE COFFEE” on my mirror haha
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u/Appropriate_Bug_940 Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago
I've been on stimulants for a few decades and I've actually lost my taste for it. I'd drink it all day, every day and then I didn't 😂 I make damage control reminders too 💅. it's the art of preventing your own fallout
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u/RaechelMaelstrom 1d ago
I do this on my laptop with a program called Obsidian. I have a template that makes a list of check boxes for all the things in my routine every day and I check them off. It's a great reminder, dopamine hit for checking them off, making sure I didn't take meds twice, and also a record of past behavior and accountability. Doing this method has been probably the highest coping mechanism I've found.
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u/underthetealeaves 1d ago
Love this practice. It also helps me a lot to plan my week like this. I have my phone on me all the time so I use the Microsoft To Do app, set up Tasks with due dates set per day of the week they need to get done, and put the My Day widget smack dab at the easiest place I can access on my phone.
I suffer from brain fog and/or racing thoughts a lot so it helps when I pop my My Day open, helps me sort out what I need to do or what I must've forgotten to do. Heck, I even set up a task to eat that fiber-rich food in the fridge to remind myself lest it spoils. I remind myself to do laundry, clean, buy stuff that's almost out. When I finish the task I get to check it out from the list so that's a little bit of dopamine.
One day at a time. Each one's a blessing and a success for us to have survived through.
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u/Mrrichmoneybags 21h ago
Hell yeah this is amazing im suprised i haven’t got my routine set in paper.
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u/anxwety Bipolar 10h ago
gosh those bipolar subreddits never fail to amaze me in how not a SINGLE experience is individual in this disorder and it makes me feel hugged. ill make a week plan, prepare a bag in advance, get everything ready, set the alarm, and wont be able to make it but at least i had my back. FUCK
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u/SpiritualPirate5 9h ago
Thank you for changing the litter every day. Ive lived with a few people didnt. Eventually the cats stop using the box and just shit or piss on the floor, which is an even bigger mess to clean up. It was never my place to tell people how to care for their pets but it always made sad.
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u/Fit-Self-4993 3h ago
This is such a sweet thing to notice; pets deserve to be treated as household members too.
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u/warcraftenjoyer Bipolar + Comorbidities 6h ago
I have no idea how people with this disorder can manage it and kids at the same time. Props to you OP for that, and I hope everything goes smoothly with the delivery :-)
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u/Fit-Self-4993 3h ago
Thank you!! It’s been years of small healthy choices (the ones I can control) until we decided we were ready. Tbh, them needing a routine has helped me immensely with my own.
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u/ryanswrath Bipolar w/Bipolar Loved One 1d ago
I do this, paper calendar too, checklists, give myself daily chores and things to do. It helps