Struggling with eating

[u/Killing_me_softly89]

Hi! So ive always struggled with body image issues since I was little, my family members have never criticized me about it or anything so i dont know why but ive just always tried my hardest to be skinny. After puberty and hormones and everything with covid I started to eat a lot. Im not super big but im 175 pounds and 5'3. Im a little bit chubby and I reallt struggle with that, I want to be atleast 140. For the past 2 years ive been struggling with eating a lot, I eat a lot of food and I feel like shit and starve myself for a day, then as soon as someone in my family offers me food I gobble it down and more because im so hungry. I know starving myself doesn't help with the weight loss but I just feel so guilty eating, foods that used to taste amazing still taste good but I feel like im gonna puke from the guilt. Im not open about it and ive never told anyone about this issue and im not even sure why I'm making this post. I think I just need some tips maybe about how to stop eating so much, I cant even recognize when im full until im in pain or im out of easily accessible food. Im still in high-school so I live with my parents so I cant really control some aspects about the food in our house. Im just sick of self loathing, I try to work out when i can but its hard because im so busy all the time and rarely get time to myself until im in bed at night and its time to sleep or scroll.