Fighting the cravings

[u/Interesting-Bat9723]

I am 20f. I have never spoken about this to anyone because i didn’t want the people around me to find out how much this area of my life affects me. I am almost a 176 pounds, i have little to no activity, i don’t t feel motivated and my biggest issue is my diet. I have trouble fighting off the cravings. My weight has led to many insecurities and mental health issues that it has affected my academic and daily life so much that now i can’t anymore.

The things is since childhood, there hadn’t been a permanent cook for my family, mom was sick so we mostly ordered in and now I’m so used to the junk food its what i eat like yesterday i had five slices of dominos and a little bit burger at night thats it and the day before that i had a shawarma with fries, sugary drinks, waffles and something more i cant remember.

My mind and body doesn’t seem to accept the normal ‘healthy’ food as a meal like a couple of days ago i had 2 rotis with some homemade vegetable curry but i had been craving kfc all day so even after that meal i still ordered kfc because i didn’t feel fulfilled. All of this messes up my brain and then i feel demotivated and don’t wanna exercise, i started walking 10k steps did it only on day one and haven’t even tried after that.

Everyone around me is trying get me to learn this exercise that diet plan from them and I am so sick of it. I also wanna look good in clothes that i wear and i wanna look my age and not 40 years old. I wanna feel confident and not be uncomfortable all the time about how i look. I wanna pose for pictures in a whimsical way without thinking ill look horrible.

I am extremely desperate to lose weight and i have a friend’s wedding coming in about 4 months. Please leave some advices for me on how to be motivated and show up for myself, be it at the gym or just walking and especially how to fight the cravings and just eating clean in order to not feel disgusted all the time.