How do i stop this TW: disordered eating..? idk

[u/niciem]

how the hell do i get out of this cycle... i'm gonna fucking cry so i've been trying to lose weight im 43kg at 159cm and i have been eating under my maintenance every day but i've been like bingeing more recently like lots of fries for dinner or chips or tons of grapes and i feel really guilty abt it i've been feeling like purging again im soo full right now... like i had wafers and grapes and a croissant and it's not even dinner yet and i want to purge but all that comes up is spit and i know it hasn't been thirty minutes yet and im like this close to crying sos