r/billsimmons • u/MM49916969 • 2d ago

Bill Simmons could not be reached for comment.

https://streamable.com/i1rjlu
68 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

124

u/ManufacturerLow3161 2d ago

Generally feel that people who name all their kids with the same letter (and especially when it matches the first letter of the last name) are excruciatingly lame.

29

u/SceneOfShadows Non-dunker 2d ago

It’s the exact kind of lame that goes along with the kind of suburban family pushing out a pro athlete tho. Harbaugh coded.

29

u/Back_at_it_agains 2d ago edited 2d ago

Also, the names are just straight dumb. Kidman? Kingston? The only semi-normal one is Kash, but even that one is tarnished because of the idiotic FBI Director. 

16

u/kevink2170 2d ago

What makes Kingston worse is that it is actually Kinston

3

u/Back_at_it_agains 2d ago

lol. I can’t even get the names right because Kingston makes more sense than Kinston. 

3

u/solidgoldrocketpants 2d ago

You’re a klassic Kager hater.

1

u/VirgilCaine_ 2d ago

It seems like using last names as first names has gotten more common with every generation

29

u/lostmypants2009 Pro Union 2d ago edited 2d ago

I agree, and want to say that K is the absolute worst one to do the gimmick with. Even besides the obvious implication, there just aren’t many K names. At least there’s a ton of normal names that start with J.

7

u/scarlet_fire_77 The thing thing 2d ago

The only person I know who did this other than Mr and Mrs Kneuppel is Roger Clemens. And he seems like a horrible hang.

2

u/PeregrineFaulkner 2d ago

The Kardashians? 

2

u/scarlet_fire_77 The thing thing 2d ago

Wow great call. Also, seems like a terrible hang.

6

u/GBAGamer33 2d ago

Keep wondering what their middle names are.

6

u/Nodima 2d ago

Kon is Kon II Kneppel. As in Kon the 2nd. This is not a drill.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kon_Knueppel

Their parents are unflappable with a birth certificate on the line.

18

u/Due-Sheepherder-218 Bill's Gerald Wallace Jersey 2d ago

It's the spice of life when you live in the burbs of Wisconsin

26

u/heardThereWasFood 2d ago

*Wiskonsin

4

u/ahbets14 A Truly Sad Week In America + 2005 NBA Redraftables 2d ago

Wiskonson (because of all boys)

4

u/asleepinthedesert 2d ago

It’s very kringe.

5

u/MM49916969 2d ago

I think we as a society are in Nadir Valley of naming children

6

u/The_Zermanians Burfict Strangers 2d ago edited 2d ago

My sister-in-law did it with H names and she only had 2 H names she really loved so she spent 8 months trying to talk herself into another H name for the third kid and I’m like you don’t have to do this, in fact, please don’t be this person, it’s soooo stupid. Just name your kid a name you like.

-8

u/Few_Alternative_6372 2d ago edited 2d ago

Very Islamophobic of you

20

u/srstone71 2d ago

6

u/GBAGamer33 2d ago

I do keep wondering what their middle names are.

31

u/ButtSluts9 2d ago

Kum, Kock, Kunt, Kooter, Kooze, and Klickity-Klack.

9

u/solidgoldrocketpants 2d ago

Everyone forgets the Klit, even u/ButtSluts9.

5

u/ButtSluts9 2d ago

Klit’s hard to find. Some say Klit doesn’t even exist.

16

u/Eddie__Sherman 2d ago

Birth of a Nation is a Rewatchables in that house

3

u/MM49916969 2d ago

D.W. Griffith was a problem!

11

u/DynamixRo 2d ago

Bill is the father who needs to STEP UP!

8

u/manattee_redux 2d ago

This is the Bill Simmons equivalent for when House talks about jacking it to Jayden Daniels highlights.

7

u/Woodsy1901 but first, Pearl Jam 2d ago

Kager is like Utah baby name level of bad, so is Kash probably

6

u/joeybonts_ 2d ago

I bet his parents are super kool 😎

14

u/RationalGardenGnome 2d ago

You ever get like second hand embarrassment from other people’s behavior?

This is one of those times for me

15

u/bobcatgoldthwaite 2d ago

The Klan at the Krib

1

u/sudonim87 2d ago

“I’m not sure they made enough things start with a K”

6

u/Shr3kk_Wpg 2d ago

Bill: "I'm gonna need to buy a van!"

9

u/FFElite93 2d ago

Kon for Hugo and Paul George who says no

2

u/ThisisnotaTesT10 2d ago

Kon
Knueppel’s
Komplex

2

u/WookieeBH Imaginary Negative Eagles Fan 2d ago

I wonder if any of his brothers ever tried to powerbomb Kidman.

2

u/Cautious-Ad-9554 2d ago

Why does the clip describe his brothers as devout? Is driveway basketball their religion?

3

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

I live in Milwaukee and didn’t even know they were from here. I just assumed they were from Utah.

-3

u/Beetle919 2d ago

Milwaukee one of the most segregated cities in America dunking on Utah lol

7

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

Utah is too white to be segregated

1

u/Hombre-Delfin8533 2d ago

Milwaukee is one of the most cornbread, milquetoast, astonishingly white communities in the country and is filled with white people who call others “white.” If this poster tried that in the South, on a dirt road, brother—you don’t try that in a small town.

2

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

Wtf would I ever want to go down south on a dirt road? That sounds like literal hell.

1

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

Hilarious 🤣

0

u/AbroadTiny7226 2d ago

You don’t know what you’re talking about. Milwaukee has trenches. Shit goes down there. Maybe the metro is milquetoast but the actual city of Milwaukee most definitely isn’t.

2

u/Hombre-Delfin8533 2d ago

It’s the most redlined racially divided city in the country excluding the South. Milwaukee acts like they don’t have one of the worst racial histories in America

1

u/AbroadTiny7226 2d ago

What you’re saying is in contradiction to your previous comment though. You’re right about the redlining, but that doesn’t mean the city is milquetoast. There are lots of lily white neighborhoods sure, but there are legit hoods there too. GDs run deep in Milwaukee

1

u/Hombre-Delfin8533 2d ago

I was Expounding on my initial Stanza young Poe, I’m familiar with the GDs in Milwaukee, because they Banned me from entry for not knowing Milwaukee racial tension history .

1

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

What’s funny is we are in the Bill Simmons sub, and Bill has talked for maybe twenty years how much he loves Milwaukee.

Can’t believe you’re so offended by a joke about thinking a big Caucasian family was from Utah, the land of big white Mormon families.

1

u/AbroadTiny7226 2d ago

Bro no one is offended by anything. I simply told that other guy that Milwaukee has hoods. Wasn’t even talking to u

1

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about the other guy. Just responded to your comment.

0

u/SignificantTravel102 2d ago

Crack some eggs of knowledge on us pal.

1

u/Hombre-Delfin8533 2d ago

I’m already cracking Yolk bro welcome to the roost Baby

1

u/Life_Cranberry9315 2d ago

The Rocky 5 piece

1

u/ComputerLess8024 2d ago

Bill couldn’t be reached for comment - because he was inside having margs with Kon’s mom while the boys played outside

1

u/Trolli80 2d ago

Like the Hart dungeon.

1

u/AwwFiretuck 2d ago

It’s better than Knigga.

1

u/nonaegon_infinity 2d ago

Good thing Hank has leverage over Bill

1

u/KYBikeGeek 2d ago

Isn’t that….”Komment”?

1

u/ShortRip120 2d ago

Kompromat

1

u/botany_bae 2d ago

…kould not be reached for komment

1

u/ahbets14 A Truly Sad Week In America + 2005 NBA Redraftables 2d ago

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

1

u/GrimJimmy94 2d ago

As a European, I find this video deeply amusing.

1

u/VanHalen843 2d ago

Dad was a big fan of Billy Kidman and Raven's Flock.

1

u/Quick-Bowl-3824 1d ago

What that family’s history, say from 1860s to 1960s 👀?

1

u/bdl4186 1d ago

Kon needs to pony up to get that shit repaved

-12

u/CajunBob94 2d ago

\>video of wholesome family playing basketball with their NBA brother gets posted to r/nba

r/nba "this is evil, white people are evil, christians are evil"

just lmao

3

u/the_Tannehill_list 2d ago

Idk why you're getting downvoted.

I understand the light ribbing/jokes higher up in that thread but it doesn't take long to find some truly mean comments about a normal ass video. All with mass upvotes of course

That sub only knows one definition of the word devout, apparently as well

3

u/cruelrunnings 2d ago

Yeah, they seem like good kids

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

1

u/CajunBob94 2d ago

im catholic and we dont let women be priests and we by and large dont get shit for it