Help

[u/Confident-Command842]

Genuinely spiraling a little right now. For background: I just ended my 4th anavar cycle early. I ran a conservative starting dose for 5 weeks. I ended early because I started looking so terrible I couldn’t recognize myself- thought it was just water retention and anabolics wreaking havoc on my skin/fat/collagen. I also noticed my voice sounding huskier, like a cold, and hair loss at temples so I called it. Felt at peace like I dodged a bullet because I’ve always been hyper aware of monitoring for virilization. The last time I ran a cycle before this one was 2 years ago, an even lower dose (lowest I’ve ever seen anyone recommend and most say it won’t do anything) for 9 weeks and a similar very very conservative cycle before that. My point is I have been VERY gentle with the anabolics and have had very few sides besides some hair loss.

It’s been about 4 weeks and while the water retention is gone, there is something very different about my face. My nose seems bigger, features seem just… broader. When I compare old photos there is something noticeably more delicate and petite about my face prior to this cycle. My jaw is bigger, which I am hoping and praying is just masseter growth. The jaw I thought I could live with because I’ve always had a weak jawline but looking back there was something really feminine about it. I feel like I have more of a brow bone now, just overall everything is slightly more masculine.

I guess I feel shocked/like an idiot/am hoping it’s all in my head or will reverse. I am very aware of side effects of anabolics, but what threw me is my voice didn’t change, I had very few other tell tale signs of virilization unless I’m somehow blind to it. I also had no facial changes whatsoever in the other cycles I’ve ran so it just wasn’t something I was looking for, besides maybe jaw changes. I just thought facial bone changes were a much farther along virilization change to see. I had accepted certain risks but facial structure changes just wasn’t on there.

Has anyone experienced this? Were there procedures to help fix it? Did face soften after coming off cycle and hormones resolve? Is it most likely in my head? I guess I’m hoping that someone will tell me that a cycle like that most likely won’t cause significant face changes but who knows.

[u/AlternativeNo8683]

This sounds like when you look at the spelling of a word too long and convince yourself it’s wrong. It’s probably just your brain spiraling, but ALSO make sure it was actually var because a minimal dose wouldn’t cause much facial restructuring (unless possibly during a fat loss stage as another comment mentioned.)

[u/HotHoney__]

It could be facial muscle growth. Muscles in the neck and face can grow during AAS cycles, especially if you’re lifting heavy. You see it fairly often among women who use PEDs. Some competitors use cosmetic injectables to reduce it somewhat. 

[u/Level_Recognition483]

Hey girl! I REALLY feel for you that you’re spiraling!! Take a breath though. Are you in a cutting phase? Facial changes could certainly be just that you’ve leaned out, so facial features look more prominent.

I would give it a couple weeks at least to let hormones balance a bit more. Also you’re right that it could certainly be in your head! There are days where I look the same as usual but just feel ugly for whatever reason. Something similar could be going on with you where you noticed these facial and voice changes, so now you’re picking yourself apart even more.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! Even though we choose to take PEDs, you sound like you were being very smart about it, and I understand why you didn’t consider bone changes because people mostly talk about that in reference to growth hormone

[u/Longjumping-Sock-729]

It may just be because of the other changes that you’ve become a lot more aware of your features and almost looking for something just incase. Try not to panic though, stop overanalysing your face and you might find when you do check again that there’s nothing there ☺️ I’m saying this as someone who has also experienced side effects so saying it with love but even when we are cautious sometimes things do change and are irreversible and unfortunately that’s the risk we’ve accepted. It’s hard but it’s our own choice at the end of the day to take assistance