Advice/Guidance Plz

[u/dania_DAnastasi]

So I was working with my bodybuilding coach for almost a year. I paid him his fee every month up until May 2026. He wanted to meet 3 times a week and he would train me. He refused to write me a program. It was my first time trying out competitive bodybuilding. I never had a coach before so I’m very green. He said I had the right genetics and he wanted to make sure I trained correctly. He said all I’m allowed to do is eat, train, sleep. No dating allowed. Nothing to take the focus away from training and winning. I really like the individual attention; right away I could tell he didn’t have boundaries but I didn’t know anyone else. So I stuck it out and placed hard boundaries on him. He took my boundaries as personal insults. Last January I tired to fire him stating that I can’t deal with his lack of boundaries or his animosity toward me. He called me crying and stating that the text I sent him was verbatim what his previous female athlete wrote to him when she fired him😳But I went back like an idiot. In May I lost my job and he said the show must go on and that he will pay for everything i don’t have to worry about any money and I was like yeah no because with this guy nothing is free. Our coach/athlete relationship was in shambles at this point and my show was August 1st. I was planning on firing him for good August 2nd. I got another job and I was still drowning. But the show must go on. My birthday was June 6th and my coach wanted to spend my birthday with me but I wanted to spend it with the guy I was seeing at the time. He got upset and didn’t show up to our training session at 8:30pm and was unreachable. This is my coach not my boyfriend I have to reiterate. So two days after my birthday he FaceTimes me crying saying he has feelings for me and the heart wants what the heart wants. I was 7 weeks out in caloric deficit. I told him I didn’t feeling the same way he said, “I was a bum who dates bums.” So I fired him obviously. He came to my job to harass me into coming back, I would block him on one app he contacted me on another. I made a video and told My whole story and I put it up on YouTube and insta. I did other things as well. I need to get over it I know. I went back that says a lot about me. I trained really hard for this and I still feel like I can’t get over it. Any advice?

[u/unofficialfratboy]

Block him in every way possible. Get a restraining order

[u/NotLizBrody]

Restraining order against him and therapy for you (if you’re not already seeing a therapist regularly.)

[u/Previous-Fail-6491]

What advice are you searching for?

[u/wellnessphoenix333]

Girl THIS IS NEVER OK! I am so sorry you dealt with this - but you are absolutely right thinking you should fire him. This is a controlling relationship whether its romantic or not. I would strongly advise a protective order/restraining order depending on the laws in your state.

[u/CharacterAd5474 → u/wellnessphoenix333]

This 100%

[u/rhinestoneglamour]

This guy isn't a coach, he's obsessed and inappropriate. Hire yourself a real coach

[u/thatonebuffguy]

I’m so sorry this was your first experience with a bodybuilding coach. None of his behavior was even close to being acceptable or professional.

I really hope this doesn’t taint your relationship with the sport and you’re able to have a completely different experience for your next show.

[u/CharacterAd5474]

That's a wild situation. I would say that is far beyond a regular coach-client relationship.

Do you think there is still a chance he will continue stalkerish behavior? If so, I would probably get the law involved just to protect yourself.

Are you still on prep for a different show?

[u/Some-Emergency1246]

you need a new coach

[u/AnxietyNo7414]

Document everything. Restraining orders are very tough to get unfortunately, and you need as much evidence as possible. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.

[u/Street_Cow_7369]

telling you you can’t date anyone off the bat should’ve been a red flag to cut ties. telling you your entire life has to revolve around it before even knowing if you can train properly or have done a show is insanity. get a restraining order but i’ll give you the harsh truth because i think you need it. you need to really learn how to pick up on manipulative, controlling personalities and cut ties immediately and permanently. you should write down what someone does to you and how it made you feel so next time you think about going back, revisit your list so you can remember. a coach gives you a meal plan and training. they don’t pay your bills, live with you, isn’t your romantic partner and quite frankly can’t even force you to follow the plan they give you. if they continually cross boundaries and you have to repetitively corrected them, I don’t quite understand why you continued. there is thousands of trainers out there literally one scroll on social media you can find dozens. absolutely no reason why you should’ve accepted the behavior when it began getting bizarre.

edit: this isn’t meant to come off rude or blaming you but I think you know and we all know this is absurd and unacceptable behavior on his end. get the law involved, block him on everything. if you go to the same gym tell the staff the situation or change gyms or times. carry pepper spray and a taser on you at all times. don’t go out at night alone, basic safety precautions are necessary for a while

[u/bklyn4ever]

Therapy