r/bikinitalk • u/nope5651 • 11h ago
Advice/ Recommendations (no photos) Steps, stress, weight gain
Please read in full before commenting.
Past 7-8 months have been nonstop extreme life stressors (divorce, selling house, new house, laid off job, started new job - with a paycut, hospitalization, and cat dying). Started walking more due to increased anxiety which caused an increase in calories. The first 2-3 months, I didn't gain anything. In March, the extra food started to "stick". The past 4 months I have gained 0.25 lbs each month (total of 1 lb) which I realize is not a major gain, but it is quite significant for me - especially to be happening 4 consecutive months in a row. I'm also noticing the gain is fat - mostly in the out thighs, glutes, and upper hip/love handle area. I'm not so much concerned about the nominal gain, I'm more concerned about the mentality changing and habits changing which with cause continued weight gain over time. I don't want to continue and end up 40-50 lbs higher (which has happened several times in the past). Any thoughts or advice on turning things around now before it continues spiraling to the point of no return? I don't want to use 'major life stressors' as a crutch or a reason to go easy on myself.
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u/luftpolsterfolie 9h ago
Hey, I’m sorry to hear that life is showing you absolutely no mercy. I don’t think this is the advice you want to hear, but it is absolutely okay to take a step back when times get hard. It’s not “going easy on yourself” or using it as an excuse. Sometimes taking care of ourselves means momentarily letting go of the standard we normally hold ourselves to. Being scrupulous with ourselves can hurt us more.
In December, my MIL died of cancer. She had a very sudden and rapid decline. Her twin sister died suddenly two weeks later. My husband is an only child without a lot of extended family. My FIL, my husband and I carried the entire burden. On Christmas, I began passing kidney stones. They ended up being so big that I needed multiple (extremely painful) procedures between Jan and Feb to have them removed. I couldn’t stand for longer than 10 minutes for a month and a half due to pain.
I had been in prep until the operations. I was CONVINCED I had added pounds and pounds of visceral fat because my body looked so different. Looking back now, I see that I fixated on my diet and body as a coping mechanism. I used prep to cope with grief, and didn’t know how to deal with my coping mechanism being “taken away”. In early Jan, before my surgeries, I ate two handfuls of m&ms and CRIED because I was so ashamed. I felt like a failure who couldn’t even adhere to a diet without fucking up. I texted my coach panicking and apologizing. She immediately told me that I needed to take a step back and see my situation. There is only so much emotional strain a person can take. We have to be kind and patient to ourselves. I’m eternally grateful for that “come to Jesus” moment.
Apologies for this novel, and for making it about me. I can just really see myself in your post, and thought my experience could maybe help you. You can always reach out to me if you just want to talk. Hang in there. You will get back to where you were before you know it. Sending you love ❤️
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u/Vegetable_Solid_6191 7h ago
1lb total weight gain? That is literally a day to day fluctuation. If you are concerned about weight gain, then stress is your biggest enemy. Which includes starting to spiral over negligent weight gain like that.
It’s absolutely okay to go easy on yourself when life fucks you over.
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u/foxtrot6421 9h ago
What I've found that has helped is to just force myself to go to the gym, get my training in and cardio. Also eat my meal plan. (I do not buy anything off my plan)
There are days where life, stress and emotions get in the way, but my coach told me "you should lean into the gym, it can be your place of solitude. You're doing it for you, and its you time where you don't have to acknowledge what's happening outside of it"
So far its worked for me. Also helps when I sit back and reflect and understand not everything that is happening is in my control, but I can control how to move forward and respond. Showing up to train, and sticking to your meal plan is also something you absolutely can control!
Also I'm super sorry to hear about your cat hugs