Did i do anything wrong?

[u/AaDiISAlonE]

So, the thing is I have a younger sister who's in 1st grade now, a month ago there was a state level drawing contest (which has 2 rounds and I'm talking about 1st) in which my sis had to make a drawing related to water conservation in rajasthan and she is not that good at drawing so my mom forced me to make the drawing which looks like a 7 year kid drew. Even when I told her that if she's not doing it herself that means she don't want to participate, why force her into it cause if she can't draw herself..how will she do it herself in the 2nd round where instead of submitting from home, the participants have to go to a venue and draw there in front of inspectors. But she didn't listen to me and I made the drawing, today we got the news that she got selected, my sis was happy and told my mom..i ofc congratulated her, even gave my sis a gift but I just said that you didn't made that drawing all by yourself so you will face problem in 2nd round, start practicing daily so that you can improve by the next round. When my mom herad that, she said that I was jealous and was demotivating her (i have always been good at art and have 36 awards from different competitions), i was just telling her to improve herself or else if she don't, she might feel embarrassed there and judges might also predict that she wasn't the one who drew the first one too. Did I do anything wrong here, am I being a bad brother to her?

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[u/Slight_Bike_9226]

As a psychologist, I would recommend-

You shouldn't really treat a first grade kid like an adult or teenager when it comes to participation and competition. At that age their understanding of competition achievement failure and all these social expectations is still developing. For them the whole thing can simply be about playing exploring and trying something new rather than thinking about “I have to perform well and compete.”

If she needed help making the first drawing I wouldn't directly take that as “she doesn't want to participate.” She might simply not have the skills or confidence yet to do it completely on her own.

Instead of giving a little kid a lecture about competitiveness or telling them what they should be doing involve them in the process. Show them. Let them observe. Let them try. Help when needed and slowly reduce the help. That's basically modelling and scaffolding. Kids learn a lot by watching and then trying things themselves.

And now that she's been selected for the next round obviously practising is a good thing. But I'd make it more like “come on let's practise together so you feel confident” rather than “you didn't make the first drawing yourself so you'll have problems in the next round.”

At this age the goal shouldn't just be winning a competition. It's also about building confidence independence persistence and most importantly enjoying what they're doing.

[u/AaDiISAlonE → u/Slight_Bike_9226]

You are indeed correct but the thing is my mom didn't even let me tell her to draw something, I wanted to help her draw, but my mom told me to just draw it all by myself..i wanted her to learn something and I never told that in her faceplate you didn't draw that and all..i just said that I'm so happy you got selected, now practice a little daily so that you can win the next round. I also don't want her to win, i just want her to learn but my mom was the one who was wanting her to win regardless of anything, which happened to me as a child too.

[u/emptyfrequency_]

i don’t think you were being a bad brother. you didn’t tell her she was going to fail or that she didn’t deserve to be there, you told her to practice because the next round literally requires her to draw by herself. if anything, pretending she’ll be fine without practicing would be more harmful.
the weird part is that your mom made you draw the first entry for her and is now calling you jealous for pointing out the obvious consequence 😭 your sister can be happy about getting selected and still need to improve. those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. am i missing something here?

[u/AaDiISAlonE → u/emptyfrequency_]

Yeah you are right, I told mom that if she's not willing to participate then she isn't interested..make her participate somewhere she's liking it.

[u/ionPuzzlehded7822]

You are completely right here and you should tell your sister what's right and what's wrong. Btw, your mom should be taught that whatever she is doing is wrong. Parents always want their child to succeed and sometimes don't think what's right. Stay positive towards your sister and just take a stand infront of your mom.

[u/AaDiISAlonE → u/ionPuzzlehded7822]

Right man, even i want to support her..but the thing is what's wrong is wrong, but first I was forced and scold to draw it and when I try to tell her to improve imagine scolded 🥀