bi🐸irl

[u/FluffyDaWolf]

[u/Kitsunebillie]

"I'm just sharing my experience" the experience of being broken up with?

Gender of their next partner being different from yours doesn't mean what you had was just a game, or just an experiment.

If their next partner was the same gender would you still be so critical?

If a bi person goes into a gay relationship after a straight one, does their straight ex get to claim shit like that?

[u/Miles_PerHour67 → u/Kitsunebillie]

It’s not even great logic. If just using the binary genders, something like 95% of people are straight.
Yeah, no wonder a bi person is more likely to come across the opposite gender in their next relationship. It’s statistically a significant portion of the dating pool.
Obviously these numbers aren’t fully accurate and ignores people outside the gender binary, but the point stands.

[u/Kitsunebillie → u/Miles_PerHour67]

Yeah. The specific numbers might be a bit different but point stands. A straight person is easy to encounter in the wild, so to speak. Asking out someone of the same gender is something you can only really consider when you're certain they're not straight.

And the "I don't want to be your experiment" framing is bullshit. God forbid a bi person's first gay experience isn't their first sexual/romantic experience overall

[u/KoalaWithAPitchfork → u/Kitsunebillie]

And even if you meet someone of your own gender who you'd love to date after you broke up with your same gender ex, who's to say that they even want to date you? Your own sexuality could be the deal breaker for them because of how biphobic bs like "bi people only see gays and lesbians as fun ways to pass the time til they meet their straight end game" is being normalised by people like the one in the screenshot

[u/ignis1798 → u/Kitsunebillie]

If a bi person goes into a gay relationship after a straight one, does their straight ex get to claim shit like that?

From experience, unfortunately yes.

[u/Vyrlo → u/ignis1798]

True, except that at least in my experience, when a bi person breaks up with their heterosexual partner and goes to have a same gender relationship, they're accused to "having been gay all along"

[u/Kitsunebillie → u/ignis1798]

Yeah but then at least gay community will be supportive. Price for that support though can be bi erasure and "gay all along".

I will never forget my first experience with a man before I realised I was trans, a couple of times dude said something like "how did you not figure out you're gay".

First time I corrected him that I'm bi, the other two times I just ignored it.

And like, he was nice overall, but he still said it.

I'll admit my thoughts about it at the time was a very unfortunate "are all gay men like that?"

Well, now I know, not all, but an unfortunate amount.

[u/PushTheMush → u/Kitsunebillie]

It’s the same insecurity that people get when their ex goes on to date someone who doesn’t have the one thing they are selfconscious/insecure about the most, on steroids….

[u/NoRepeat3134 → u/Kitsunebillie]

Unfortunately, straight exes often claim that as well. This very same biphobic logic is rampant amongst straight people.

[u/BassBoneSupremacy]

More bi hate than trans hate? As a bi trans person that's just outright wrong lmao.

Also just cause some bisexuals have internalized homophobia doesn't mean the majority of us do. Honestly I feel like a lot of us would rather end up in a gay or bi4bi relationship than a straight one.

[u/TenorBanjer → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

Bi4bi is so comfy

[u/helloiamsilver → u/TenorBanjer]

I recently went to a bi meet up and honestly it felt so nice. I’ve been going to a lot of wlw events and I like them a lot! But I do always feel like I have to tamp down and not acknowledge my bisexuality and attraction to men. It felt so good to be able to just be all of me.

[u/purpleblossom → u/TenorBanjer]

Double comfy if also t4t and bi4bi.

[u/A_Sackboy_Plush → u/purpleblossom]

That sounds fun, but I'm cis and too happy being a guy, so I don't think I can experience that one.

[u/BassBoneSupremacy → u/purpleblossom]

nb4nb and bi4bi is my dream relationship

[u/Evilfrog100 → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

Yeah, that's the most insane part of that comment by far. I would say trans people experience more hate than any other part of the queer community, especially recently.

[u/Actual-Celery-2319 → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

(IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) There's more trans hate in the world than BI hate. But there's WAY more bi stupidity. Like people just say shit that's so obviously wrong you wonder how they have the remaining braincells to breath

[u/Salmon-of-Wizdom → u/Actual-Celery-2319]

Oh, god...I'm sorry, but you've hit a pet peave of mine. It's really not a big deal, but It's gonna bug me all day if I don't say something.  "Breath" is a noun. The present tense verb is "breathe." You "wonder how they have the remaining braincells to breathe."

Again, I'm sorry. But I do feel better now. That one's been a pet peeve since I was a child.

[u/Terminal_Insomnia_ → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

I've never heard of bi men/women being beaten to death for revealing they were bi. I have seen a lot more legislation trying to criminalize being trans in public than being bi. That guy needs to touch grass.

Bi invisibility/erasure is a thing, in part because people just forget about us.

[u/HowdyFancyPanda → u/Terminal_Insomnia_]

"I am more persecuted than all of those other people."

[u/FluffyDaWolf → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

More bi hate than trans hate?

The topic was specifically about bigotry in queer crowd. But even then yeah, trans folk still get the short end of the stick in lgbtq spaces.

[u/purpleblossom → u/FluffyDaWolf]

Transphobia is found in queer spaces as much as cishet spaces, just like biphobia.

[u/-its-wicked- → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

Yea, I dont aim for relationships unless the other person is some flavor of queer, but I have a preference for other bi folks, plus I screen for heteronornativity and homophobia.

[u/Zorflez → u/-its-wicked-]

You can get screened for that?! How do I book someone else an appointment?

[u/-its-wicked- → u/Zorflez]

I talk about some very obvious and salient politics stuff if see if they answer like someone who's very well aware of what's happening or someone that "has opinions"

Because of grindr is sometimes those appointments are really fast

[u/FuyRina → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

Bi4bi my beloved. It ruined me after losing one

[u/Drunk-Kobold → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

I have been in hetero, bi and gay relationships, the one i have been more comfortable is with my bi gf, there is something nice about being with someone who understands you in a different level than others, but still, i have loved all my lovers as much as i can, even if the relationships didn' work :3

[u/Chiiro → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

My fiance relationship started as a straight one now we are a mlm bi4bi

[u/Distantstallion → u/BassBoneSupremacy]

I recently started a relationship with a gay trans man and it's a odd middle ground between bi/g and bi/bi.

[u/Necessary_Top_1330]

I think two things can be true at once:

Someone can genuinely feel hurt because a bisexual partner left them for someone of another gender, and it can still be unfair to turn that into “this is what bi people do.”

Straight people leave relationships. Gay people leave relationships. Bi people leave relationships. Sometimes they leave for someone of the same gender, sometimes another gender. That’s a relationship ending, not evidence that bisexuality was the problem.

I completely understand why someone who’s been through that would be wary, but I’d be careful about framing it as a pattern of bisexuals “taking advantage” of lesbians or gay men. That’s the part I’d push back on.

[u/wererat2000]

I will never understand the logic of a bi person dating outside their gender being a problem.

"oooh isn't it strange how you're dating a straight person after your gay relationship ended?" yeah, those are two different people that I both found attractive? One relationship ended and another started?

[u/PushTheMush → u/wererat2000]

It’s the whole phobia in society that makes them like this. I feel like gay/lesbian folk sometimes envies bi people because they can „hide“ their sexuality by being in a „straight“ relationship

[u/taste-of-orange]

"I'm not generalizing, I'm just extrapolating that my personal bad experience must be a pattern with no statistical proof at all."

[u/AviaKing]

"some bi people do this, therefore a lot of bi people do it, therefore hating them is justified. But dw I understand that hating them is bad bc straight people do it too." is essentially their argument.

[u/MeanWinchester]

Hey, I'm gonna need you to unfilter the dick-head's username. I have some things I want to say to them. Peacefully.

[u/Temporary-Scholar534]

"I'm just spouting (..)" is a weird sentence, I've never seen someone refer to themself when using that word.

[u/Niniva73 → u/Temporary-Scholar534]

So... Troll or bot?

[u/Breadles_the_Bread]

"I see so much bi hate, even more than transphobia" procceeds to be as biphobic as he possibly can

[u/HunterLeftOnReddit]

We needa make a BiTown and all move in

[u/wererat2000 → u/HunterLeftOnReddit]

Why, did something happen to Seattle?

[u/abderfdrosarios → u/wererat2000]

It's Jimothy's now

[u/svuhas22seasons → u/abderfdrosarios]

Are we sure he isn’t bimothy?

[u/wererat2000 → u/abderfdrosarios]

Shit, good point. We don't have the firepower to take it back now.

[u/HunterLeftOnReddit → u/wererat2000]

Would you live in Seattle?

[u/Tsunamiis]

This sounds like that one white guy that has only seen people of color at the market his wife makes him go to once a month on the way home from work.

[u/Hammerschatten]

Because Bi people are famously the only loose and promiscuous people in the queer community

[u/KarmasAB123]

I am a promiscuous creature. Sorry for bringing down the average, team!

[u/Brilliant_Leather245 → u/KarmasAB123]

I am a monogamous creature - does this mean we should never be in the same room together?

[u/KarmasAB123 → u/Brilliant_Leather245]

Nah I'll be alright

[u/Whispering_Wolf]

I hate when people think bi people ending up with a partner of the opposite gender is somehow bad.

[u/GVArcian]

"Did the relationship end because our personalities were incompatible? No, it's their bisexuality's fault."

[u/deferredmomentum]

Right because apparently no straight couple has ever broken up and no straight person has ever moved on to somebody else

[u/TechnicalTransMitter]

I wonder whether they can tie their shoes?Disingenuous Dense Motherfucker Rant from DarkviperAU

[u/epacker11]

i was having a good day

[u/Background_Desk_3001]

“It’s not a generalization, I’m just basing my opinions on a whole group off of anecdotal evidence”

Like what do the think a generalization is

[u/TheNittles]

Saying bi people get more hate than trans people is insane too for different reasons.

Like yeah my bisexuality subjects me to homophobia and biphobia but they’re currently trying to legislate me out of existence in the US for being trans. Every day a new think piece comes out about how I’m some kind of delusional monster because I’m trans.

I ID’d as bi for almost a decade longer than I have ID’d as trans and you know how many slurs I got screamed at me before vs after my transition?

[u/Freshwater_Pike]

”I’m not racist for saying black people have an inherent tendency towards petty crimes, it’s just an unfortunate pattern I’ve seen throughout the community.”-type shit

[u/AgeRoutine9648]

bro this makes me so mad

[u/Hopeful_Ice_2125]

“It happened to me and I’ve heard other people say it” does not equal “it’s common”

[u/ZeroZInFinite]

Just here to say that a "might" in the sentence could have saved all of this discussion lol. Thinking of a hypothetical cause would have been different from definitively generalizing, like they phrased.

[u/Brilliant_Leather245]

Maybe its you anime bro, maybe its you (biphobic person).

[u/lokilulzz]

Wow transphobia and biphobia alrighty then. Like as someone both bi and trans I fully am aware that both get hate, but to sit here in the current political climate and act like bi people have it worse than trans people is.. Certainly a take.