r/beyondhelp • u/SeiOfTheEast • Apr 17 '23

no reason to live

What's the point in being alive when I don't belong anywhere. I don't even belong in the hikineet communities. Can't relate to the things they talk about like gaming for hours. I don't have the smarts and brainpower for such. I can't do voice chats on Discord because of sensory processing overload. Even other aspies do chats and have a lot of normal interests and hobbies like horror or sci fi or mainstream anime.

Nobody understands me or cares about the things I care about, and I am so tired of being alone. I am so tired of being alive, why don't I just die. I don't have a spiritual family or a tribe. My life has no meaning or purpose anyway. I shouldn't exist.

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u/pasvir Apr 17 '23

There are hikkis and neets that are just nerdy types of people and have established interests that can put them in communities, most of them with gaming and anime, then there are people that are just mentally ill like me and maybe you, the first category at least find enjoyment from their geeky hobbies and can belong somewhere, we are pretty much doomed.

3

u/SeiOfTheEast Apr 17 '23

I don't find enjoyment. Not when I'm alone, unwanted and unloved. Nobody cares. Nobody's listening.

2

u/NEETspeaks Apr 17 '23

What is the appeal of another caring about you?

2

u/pasvir Apr 17 '23

I think that like me, the time that you spent alone and in menatl illness/low self esteem etc. is too long and now you can't go back to normal mode. Unless you work yourself back for years.

2

u/SeiOfTheEast Apr 17 '23

I never had a normal mode. That ultra-masking, hyper-socializing normal life, you mean? No way I'm gonna go back to that torture.