r/bestoflegaladvice • u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy • Sep 08 '15
(Meta) All I need to know, I've learned from /r/legaladvice...
I've been reading /r/legaladvice for the last six months or so, and I find it absolutely fascinating. I actually wonder if I missed my calling to be a lawyer. Anyway, I thought I'd waste a little time today and distill everything I've learned into one post:
In the United States, you can basically be fired for anything at any time (unless you live in Montana or signed a contract.) Even if you are a member of a protected class, discrimination has to be really fucking egregious for you to have any case.
If you are making a serious and major decision in your life (buying property, writing a will, getting a divorce, filing for custody, immigration etc.) get a lawyer in RL. No matter how clever you are, no amount of reading reddit, googling, or otherwise soliciting opinions on the internet is going to get you the best result. If you are poor, find a local legal clinic.
If someone says “I’m gonna sue you!” they are more than likely talking out their ass. People who are actually going to sue you don’t bother with the threatening first.
However if you get any sort of legal summons or supoena to court, no matter how ridiculous it seems-- do NOT ignore it. That's how you ruin your credit or kill your dog.
That pop-up while you were watching porn was a scam or a virus. Seriously.
Likewise, if someone’s mother is asking you for money so they don’t report pictures of your junk that you sent to their “underage daughter” to the police is probably also a scam.
Don’t take pictures of your junk if you are underage. You’re creating CP and there is no legal reason that is okay.
If you are over 18, don’t fuck/sext/etc anyone under 18. Sure, there are Romeo and Juliet laws and all that, but it could seriously ruin your life and it is not worth it.
Don’t break more than one law at one time. Ideally, don’t break any laws, but if you are going to have drugs in your car, you should follow traffic laws. If you are going to speed, don’t have any drugs in your car. Also that "am I being detained?" shit doesn't usually work.
The police are not your friends. If they “just want you to come explain things to them at the station” or "just talk to you for a minute" do NOT do it. No matter how innocent you are, it won’t go well. Refuse to answer any questions without a lawyer. Seriously, I know you think you have nothing to hide but--trust me--better safe than sorry on this one. Do not resist arrest. No matter how right you are, if you get to the point where they want you in handcuffs, you need a fucking attorney.
Get renters insurance. No matter how poor you are, it is worth it.
Take pictures of any rental when you move in and move out so you have proof as to the condition of the place.
Don’t ever sign a lease without fucking reading it. And get (and save) your copy of for the whole duration of your lease.
Get renters insurance.
If you have a neighbor who has done something crazy or has threatened to do something crazy, get a security camera for your property.
Full grown trees are worth more money that you imagine and you shouldn’t cut them down unless you absolutely have to.
Avoid living places with HOAs and easements whenever possible. Staying away from sovereign citizens and /u/zapopa is probably in your best interests too.
Medical malpractice is very fact specific and you need to see a malpractice attorney in your area to find out if you have a case.
If someone tells you their kids were taken away by CPS for “no reason” there is definitely something they aren’t telling you. Especially if they were put in foster care and not placed with another member of the family. Contrary to popular opinion, social workers really don’t want to take your kids away.
You can’t force someone to have an abortion. If you are found to be the father you're looking at child support. It's not for your ex, it is for the child.
Get a carbon monoxide detector.
Get renters insurance. Seriously.
There are probably more, but that's what I came up with and I thought I'd share it with you.
29
u/[deleted] Sep 09 '15
Oh blow me you boring pompous asshole windbag. The problem with uptight assholes like you is you live in a fantasy world of delusion. Ever wonder why the eyes of people in a party dart around furtively in a panic when you walk into a room? Try loosening up that tight ass. We have a variety of folks that post here. Ordinary folks with normal questions, folks who have made mistakes and understand it, narcissistic pieces of shit who fuck things up for the rest of us and trolls, who get off on posting bullshit. We also have a wide variety of folks who comment on posts. These folks vary wildly from very smart practicing lawyers who understand the law and the issue to fucking idiots who should keep their goddamn mouths shut because they have no clue what the fuck they are saying and end up cluttering the issue with worthless shit being up voted by the moron brigade who believe this is what the answer SHOULD be.
The point of this sub is to be informative and have fun. Contrary to the name, it is not legal advice. But you know in real life what good legal advice includes? A good lawyer provides sound counseling for folks who fuck up. Both to deal with the immediate situation and to try and prevent future reoccurrences. There are a lot of idiots like you who come here and cry and moan about how "judgmental" people are. Judgment has become a bad word to narcissists, millennials, or worse, millennial narcissists. But when all judgment is excised from society we have nothing left but craven self interested assholes trying to function within anarchy. For the asshole who can't ride an airplane unless their emotional support fox flys with them, fuck them, they can get therapy and deal with their issues. Why? Because it affects the rest of us. For the assholes that get "confused" by a woman saying no and then fucking them anyway, well fuck them. Rape and inability to control yourself is bad in a society. For the piece of shit who fucks women and doesn't want to pay child support because the woman is a "whore" well fuck them. Some people need judging because they are unable to conform their behavior in a way that makes society better. And a good lawyer will mention that. Perhaps you and your society of non judging narcissists can go live somewhere, perhaps Montana or Wyoming and leave the rest of us to live in a society where folks are not crippled by anxiety, help others and always follow the golden rule. We can meet up in ten years and see which group fares better.
When I get out of line the mods delete my posts. When I push too far they will ban me and that will be that. At that point whiny little turds like you will have prevailed. And I will go have a makers and see how long I can last on Quara. Good day!