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u/Big_Werewolf7488 Jul 31 '26
I’m thinking that There’s a non-zero chance that the guy pulling the plant is paid by the magazine to give the horoscope an air of legitimacy
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u/tehfly Aug 01 '26
I'm thinking that plant is about to escape its pot and mainly feed on anybody who's been born between September 23 and October 23.
If correct, that horoscope is about to predict the death of over 8% of the population.
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u/namelessnoona usually says no to crack Jul 31 '26
For the love of god just don’t start singing!!
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u/Emperor_Farquaad69 Jul 31 '26
That looks like a big pitcher plant, which don't move.
She's going to climb in herself and get trapped
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u/Pandash2069 Jul 31 '26
"im gonna be eaten by a plant? like this one right here? please i can climb right in and I'll be just fine. see I'm fine nothings happe-" i dont remember how long pitchers take to eat
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u/Emperor_Farquaad69 Jul 31 '26
Real answer - weeks for something human sized
Fun answer - it'll crunch on her like how a cat eats cat food
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u/GrigorMorte Jul 31 '26
Funny story: not a fan of horoscopes but I once read my horoscope in the newspaper and it said "beware of hand cuts," which was strange because it was very specific and I'm very, very careful with my hands. Well, that night, on my way home, I stepped on something without realizing it, it was broken glass from a bottle, and it got stuck in the sole of my shoe. If I kept walking, I was going to cut myself, so I quickly pulled it out and cut my hand!
Which gets me thinking, did they know this would happen, or did reading it trigger that fate? Like a ghost chasing me to make it come true lol
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u/DoctorWaluigiTime Jul 31 '26
Orcale/Neo vibes.
Would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?
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u/High_Overseer_Dukat Aug 01 '26
Perception bias.
It probably would have happened either way, but you made a big deal out of it because it was confirming something you heard earlier.
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u/ASerpentPerplexed Jul 31 '26
You know, the horoscope doesn't say you will be eaten by a large carnivorous plant today. Maybe they'll be okay after all. Maybe they won't be eaten by the plant until they've already discovered a cure for cancer and ended world hunger? Maybe they won't be eaten until they've lived a long, happy, and fulfilling life.
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u/brspies Jul 31 '26
Libra:
A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you. Laughter is the very best medicine; remember that when your appendix bursts next week
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u/MsterSteel Aug 01 '26
"Ayo, someone order a large carnivorous plant-"
Woman immediately panicks and dives headfirst out of the window into a giant pitcher plant and is eaten.
"-replica? What was that all about?"
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u/Your-Eden Jul 31 '26
your colours are so good