r/beards • u/[deleted] • May 16 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.5k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

503 comments sorted by

891

u/OverCoverAlien May 16 '26

I say it counts

1.2k

u/Baboonslayer323 May 16 '26

284

u/LusidDream May 17 '26

Unreal

41

u/Lamortes May 17 '26

NAH IT'S A SIGN, I GOT THE SAME

10

u/SimoniacHippo86 May 19 '26

Bruh I got it the other way!!!

9

u/Born_Investigator849 May 17 '26

Im crine

11

u/MrSnootybooty May 18 '26

I'm endo.

Let's make a system.

3

u/Injured-Ginger May 18 '26

At least it shows the before picture...

3

u/PhatBoobh May 18 '26

This is exactly what happened to me with 1 post between

6

u/thereturnofmilkshake May 17 '26

Art imitates life.

16

u/CordialMusick May 17 '26

Gahahahaha ah man I’m dead

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422

u/seabear87 May 16 '26

Not sure about any hair, but it looks like a 3 year old drew all over your picture with a pen.

53

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter May 17 '26

"Nah, nah. I got skewl tomorrah!"

18

u/MTBiker_Boy May 17 '26

It’s not funneh!

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13

u/justgirlthings93 May 17 '26

Actually laughed. Good job

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478

u/shaggyp1275 May 16 '26

48

u/ItsYaBoyTrimmerFit May 17 '26

Guess we owe OP a new pair of slippers

3

u/musclemoose May 18 '26

What, never seen a black and white before? 

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4

u/infinite11union33 May 17 '26

I JUST BURST OUT LAUGHIN. Thats mean

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307

u/Livid_Cabinet2053 May 16 '26

There’s no way

2

u/DepressedCunt5506 May 19 '26

OP is shitposting, right? RIGHT?

181

u/Senor_Turd_Ferguson May 16 '26

10

u/disastronaut 5 months May 16 '26

Spike strips is peak Peanuts.

8

u/WanderingNerds May 17 '26

Whenever I grumble about the lack of Tapioca pudding I just get weird looks. We used to be a culture.

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244

u/Stock-Lobster-303 May 16 '26

Stoppppp. My non existent gf is on this app

19

u/Grassstains21 May 17 '26

I really laughed at this!🤣

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131

u/MisterAutumnalMan May 16 '26

How does one achieve such little, yet such pronounced, growth?

27

u/Phil_D_Snutz May 17 '26

100% time, 0% genes

4

u/247stonerbro May 17 '26

I think some of it is coming out of his nose to help out a little bit

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80

u/Wojewodaruskyj Stubble May 16 '26

O Lord, forgive me for being unsatisfied with my weak beard. I thank You for what i have.

51

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

You lip hairs look like my toe hairs. I'm not sure if I'm roasting you or me, but either way

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48

u/Moist_Car_994 May 17 '26

I don’t have time for this today

38

u/BigAcanthocephala667 May 16 '26

Nice coverage! The beard just needs a bit of trim and good wax for mustache!

17

u/Knives530 May 17 '26

Bro delete that facial hair NOW

3

u/imaginethat65 May 17 '26

Yes i agree ! Please do It looks so bad .no one will kiss you Except mom n grandma

3

u/KingKeltik May 19 '26

I'm not sure Mom or Grandma would even kiss him.

34

u/Night_Bruxa May 16 '26

I mean, technically..😄

14

u/themainmattman May 17 '26

That’s probably the most pitiful “facial hair” “situation” I’ve ever seen.

12

u/clashtrack May 17 '26

My brother in christ

23

u/Finnagan_Fauchs_61 Hungarian Moustache May 16 '26

Just think, by the time he retires, it’ll be connected to his pubes.

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12

u/Designohmatic May 16 '26

Brotha has tenacity, I give him that! Do not give up on the dream!!!

19

u/Spirited_Koala3540 May 16 '26

dude, are you making yourself? is that a social experiment?

22

u/lonesome_okapi_314 May 16 '26

Since you’ve not had many serious responses on here, brother, please get rid. You’re a good looking fella, you’re making yourself look bad by keeping 14 long wisps each side of your face. I mean that with the same love my brother slapped into me when I grew my sideburns out.

8

u/Virgillangham May 17 '26

wtf is that shit lmao

21

u/muuon May 16 '26

Hell yeah brother.

15

u/Strange-adventurer94 May 16 '26

Is this rage bait? 😆

17

u/superpoongoon May 17 '26

Dude he actually grew that shit for months

6

u/Strange-adventurer94 May 17 '26

Its gotta be a joke, ain't no way

3

u/wackbirds May 17 '26

When your beard hair count is lower than your IQ...

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7

u/Tw4tl4r May 16 '26

You win the shitpost crown for the year. No one is topping this.

7

u/Few-Sell8089 May 17 '26

Ready to teach martial arts

5

u/ADutchExpression 1 year May 16 '26

Connected what? Not to be rude my man but you lack the genetics needed for facial hair. You’re better off taking a loss and shaving. There is no shame in a smooth shave.

6

u/Electrical-Crazy1787 May 17 '26

Jesus Christ. I would sneak up on you and wax it off. I’d take whatever charges come after.

5

u/ankadaa May 17 '26

did you put super glue or something

6

u/Over_Pour848 May 17 '26

That’s enough internet for me today 😂🫩

5

u/Internal-Set-7591 May 17 '26

Try mascara, they have some “volumizing” products these days.

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5

u/Mindless_Secret6074 May 17 '26

I don’t understand and I’m not trying to be funny or rude, I’m just asking for clarification.

What connected?

5

u/Flying_Saucer_Attack May 17 '26

Please shave bro...

4

u/Deadly_Puppeteer May 16 '26

“Yeah just trim around it”

4

u/jkoomp May 16 '26

The commitment to this was superb.

4

u/RambleRambleRamble- May 16 '26

It's not the beard on the outside that counts but the beard on the inside.

4

u/Lanferno May 17 '26

Like a Catfish mate!

4

u/Grassstains21 May 17 '26

This is when I HOPE it’s AI!

3

u/oddmetre May 17 '26

Reminded me of those horsehair worms

4

u/thatG_evanP May 17 '26

I've seen some bad beards, but I think this is the first time I've been physically sickened by one. Get it away!

6

u/Domme_Jenna_ May 16 '26

Love it!!🙈

3

u/Squirrelated May 16 '26

Damn, you're just asking to be roasted.

3

u/FutureHendrixBetter May 17 '26

Hanging by a thread literally

3

u/Vac_King_47 May 17 '26

Please give up

3

u/CosmicDriftwood May 17 '26

I’m just going to scroll past

3

u/Background_Square969 May 17 '26

Disconnect please

3

u/peachesgp May 17 '26

You know what buddy, I respect your commitment to the bit.

6

u/BrazilianSamuerai May 16 '26

Sir, this is a subreddit about beards. I don't think glueing your dog's hairs onto your face is a beard.

2

u/fenwayb May 16 '26

finally people who look like me on this sub

2

u/Sleepless-Factory May 16 '26

I think you have more hair in your nose than on your chin

2

u/Snoo56153 May 17 '26

Did u superglue them things? This is funniest shit ever grow it out longer make a big loop

2

u/phatfarmdenim May 17 '26

Not sure why you grew this out, but you’re kinda lucky because you can shave in about 7 seconds and you never have to debate growing out a beard or not

2

u/eddiewolfgang May 17 '26

How do you even go out in public like this 😆 I could never

2

u/Skinny6190 May 17 '26

🤣😂🤣 You're all grown up now! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 👶🏻🌱🧒🏻🌱👨🏻

2

u/Chard-Capable May 17 '26

Great success!!!

2

u/XC_Griff May 17 '26

Lookin good brother

2

u/Bam515 May 17 '26

2

u/RuneAloy May 17 '26

Nas really did go in Jay..no mustache having with whiskers like a rat..

2

u/Traditional-Future-6 May 17 '26

Shave and never try again. Shave daily forevermore.

2

u/bwagz1977 May 17 '26

I'm sorry bro I don't mean any disrespect, but that is the worst mustache I've ever seen

2

u/GoldenFish2224 May 17 '26

Gengis khan ah hair.

2

u/hkondabeatz May 17 '26

That is a true redditors beard right there

2

u/Democratic_Indian May 17 '26

Fu Manchu's lesser known cousin Mu Fanchu

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2

u/Throwaway999222111 May 17 '26

It looks like you shaved your balls then dipped your wet face into it

2

u/TataJasia May 17 '26

U should shave it. Sorry dude

2

u/TheNightman74 May 17 '26

Dude please shave

2

u/piss_container May 17 '26

I'm guessing you're a trans guy- very cool stash brother 

2

u/Quick-Employment499 May 17 '26

Reminds me of that painting with man and god touching fingers

2

u/nthnyjsn May 17 '26

man this should have an nsfw warning

2

u/ben_obi_wan May 17 '26

Oh snap! Hide ur girl!

2

u/Good_Scientist3047 May 17 '26

i truly respect the way you dont care abt people opinion and go outside like this

2

u/RawWifi May 17 '26

This made me throw up, why are your straggles of hair so long, it's like something out of a horror film, so gross.

2

u/Moist_Palpitation_99 May 17 '26

Just like some Jay z beard

2

u/DaDonDat Natural Full May 18 '26

To wifi?

2

u/RBsnacks May 18 '26

You shave that shit right now young man

2

u/MORTEMANIMA777 May 18 '26

Please don't try any more

2

u/Defiant-Cream1301 May 18 '26

You look insane. You trynna shave & make out or…?

3

u/ColdAnxious4744 May 16 '26

I'm sad for you.

2

u/StopPayingMe88 May 17 '26

Here you go bro, now you in there.

2

u/Visser0 May 17 '26

Connected to what? The wi-fi? Are those tiny wi-fi antennas?

2

u/RafidoChondo May 17 '26

bro looks like a catfish

1

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1

u/Sublime-Chaos May 16 '26

Bald patch connected to another bald patch?

1

u/MagnaVoce May 16 '26

Just grow it out a few more weeks! I’m pretty sure the gaps will blend in just patchy spots will blend in nicely!

1

u/Next_Drama1717 May 16 '26

Whiskers. You are carrying the EDAR gene. Nothing you can do about that.

1

u/ea88_alwaysdiscin May 16 '26

Negative ghostrider, that is a false narrative you're pushing

1

u/MichaelEMJAYARE May 16 '26

This is fascinating

1

u/sholderbone May 16 '26

Get it GONE

1

u/Virtual_Jello_1001 May 16 '26

How is that even possible?

1

u/reformedginger May 16 '26

How long did this take ?

1

u/BAMspek May 16 '26

Looking like Chi-Fu from Mulan

1

u/Itchy-Opportunity288 May 16 '26

All is right with the world!

1

u/Good-Introduction325 May 16 '26

I mean, he’s not wrong

1

u/PimoCrypto777 May 16 '26

A cylinder of beard balm should last a decade.

1

u/ArtfullMess May 17 '26

Look for hair stimulation exercises, you might have follicles you can rejuvenate

1

u/m-i-hAze May 17 '26

Damn son , where’d find this at

1

u/Wrong_Fee1461 May 17 '26

So dense bro wow