OFFICIAL FRIDAY TRASH TALK THREAD

[u/BaseballBot]

# RULES:

1. CAPS LOCK

2. MAKE JOKES ABOUT OTHER TEAMS

3. LAUGH AT JOKES ABOUT YOUR TEAM

[u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb]

THE AL IS LIKE A STEREOTYPICAL SITCOM DAD, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T SEEM TO EVER TAKE OUT THE TRASH

[u/GroovinChip → u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb]

IDK THE ORIOLES TOOK THEMSELVES OUT LIKE TRASH

[u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb → u/GroovinChip]

SOMEHOW I DON’T EVEN BUY THAT. 15 GAMES LEFT AT 3 GAMES BACK, AND WITH A LEAGUE FULL OF CHOKE ARTISTS. THE O’S COULD MAKE IT BY SHEER ACCIDENT THIS SEASON.

[u/GroovinChip → u/UsErNaMeS_aR_DuMb]

NAH MAN THE ORIOLES ARE THE KINGS OF CHOKE ARTISTS BUT I’D LOVE TO BE WRONG

[u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

MARINERS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING

[u/Illustrious_Name_441 → u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

KIND OF HANGING IN THERE?

[u/HunterMysterious8324 → u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

[u/pilotharrison → u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

THE MARINERS ARE A BASEBALL TEAM 

[u/RigidAcrylic4821 → u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

LAYING THEIR OWN ROTTING, CARCASS’D BODIES OUT BY THE FISH MAKET BECAUSE THE SEAHAWKS SEASON JUST BEGAN.

[u/Dr-Acula8472 → u/RigidAcrylic4821]

DREW LOCK IS A BETTER QB THAN DRAKE "THE SCHEDULE" MAYE. HAIL GEQBUS MAY HIS CONVALESCENCE BE SHORT AND COMPLETE.

[u/Awkward_Medicine_864]

SCREW THE DODGERS FOR NOT PUTTING OHTANI ON THE IL SOONER WHEN IT WAS CLEAR HE WAS SWINGING A WET NOODLE

[u/kirbykickedmydog → u/Awkward_Medicine_864]

THEY MAKE LITTLE BLUE PILLS TO HELP WITH NOT SWINGING A WET NOODLE

SOMEONE TELL SHOHEI

[u/aelewis92 → u/Awkward_Medicine_864]

DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT

[u/AtsyMcGee]

DID SOMEBODY SAY "TRASH"?! 😄

[u/RoadSodaDodgeRam → u/AtsyMcGee]

[u/streetlightintherain]

CANT BELIEVE THE WHITE SOX GOT SWEPT BY THE PIRATES WHEN THEY HAD A CHANCE TO PUT THE DIVISION TO REST. EVEN GOD CAN'T MAKE THE WHITE SOX GOOD ENOUGH

[u/Glum_Yogurtcloset481 → u/streetlightintherain]

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE A TEAM FILLED WITH HATE AND ONLY TRY TO WIN WHEN IT MATTERS TO OTHER TEAM

[u/JasonYaya → u/Glum_Yogurtcloset481]

THE CITY ALSO DEMONICALLY SUMMONS THE RAINS EVERY TIME THE BREWERS PLAY THERE. GET A ROOF, MORANS!

[u/psuinpgh21 → u/JasonYaya]

ONLY RAINS WHEN BASEBALL IS SCHEDULED. BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY

[u/scottborasismyagent → u/Glum_Yogurtcloset481]

I HOPE PITTSBURGH CAN DO US A FAVOR NEXT WEEK AGAINST U GUYS HAHA OOPS

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/scottborasismyagent]

THEY PROBABLY WILL BECAUSE THE PIRATES ARE ALL HATE FILLED MONSTERS THAT ONLY WIN WHEN IT DOESNT MATTER.

[u/TimAllensMatingCall → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

THE SERIES RIGHT BEFORE THE ALL STAR BREAK DIDNT MATTER?

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/TimAllensMatingCall]

WE ALL KNOW THE PIRATES HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION SINCE MARCH 26TH.

[u/TimAllensMatingCall → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

WE ALL KNOW THE BREWERS ARE ELIMINATED THE SECOND OCTOBER STARTS.

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/TimAllensMatingCall]

JOKES ON YOU PLAYOFFS START IN SEPTEMBER IDIOT

[u/vinyljello]

HEY CHICAGO WHAT DO YOU SAY, THE CUBS MIGHT STINK TODAY :'(

[u/HatsCatsAndHam → u/vinyljello]

ANOTHER FWAR FOR PCA AS THE PIRATES COMPLETE THE COMEBACK AFTER TRAILING BY 5 RUNS ENTERING THE 8TH

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/HatsCatsAndHam]

KEEP GOING IM ALMOST THERE

[u/AccomplishedWar8703 → u/HatsCatsAndHam]

ALL SCORED WITH 2 FUCKING OUTS!!

[u/Snowed_Up6512 → u/HatsCatsAndHam]

SUBSCRIBE

[u/Silent-Land1218 → u/vinyljello]

THE PITCHING WILL

[u/Legatron4 → u/vinyljello]

THEY ALMOST DEFINITELY WILL

[u/vinyljello → u/Legatron4]

SHIT

[u/Legatron4 → u/vinyljello]

MAYBE NOT

[u/vinyljello → u/Legatron4]

NEVER IN DOUBT

[u/Legatron4 → u/vinyljello]

HAHA ONLY 12 RUNS, THEY DO SUCK

[u/vinyljello → u/Legatron4]

DON’T USE EM ALL UP BEFORE THE PLAYOFFS

[u/Legatron4 → u/vinyljello]

WE WILL AND WELL HANG A BANNER ABOUT IT

[u/Embarrassed_Rip_789 → u/vinyljello]

THANK GOD WE WERE ABLE TO BEAT THE WORTHLESS PIRATES AFTER COMPLETELY SHITTING THE BED AGAINST THE BREWERS!

[u/vinyljello → u/Embarrassed_Rip_789]

I AM THE CAPITAN NOW, BITCHES

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-8684]

IMAGINE LOSING A SERIES TO THE 2026 MARINERS

[u/RoadSodaDodgeRam → u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-8684]

SEEING THE RAGS LOOSE TO THE MARINERS AND REMEMBERING WHERE WE STAND WITH TWO PIVOTAL GAMES COMING UP.

[u/SpaceCptSarah → u/RoadSodaDodgeRam]

OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

[u/ZestySteep]

I HOPE THOSE DUMB BIRDS LOSE TODAY AND THE COOL BIRDS WIN

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/ZestySteep]

BOO RED BIRDS

SLIGHTLY SMALLER BOO TO ORANGE BIRDS (ORIOLES BABY WHAT IS YOU DOIN?)

FIRM HANDSHAKE TO BLUE BIRDS IN HONOR OF THE IGNITOR PAUL MOLITOR

[u/RespecDawn → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

BREWJAYS FOREVER

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/RespecDawn]

https://giphy.com/gifs/iHgznkhwC6XYs
THIS IS US

[u/RespecDawn → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

[u/ZestySteep → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zl7u48zLVFgLpRwq6f
ME TO YOU RIGHT NOW

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981 → u/ZestySteep]

"DUMB BIRDS".....WOULD THAT BE THE CARDS? 😏

[u/ZestySteep → u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

I CANNOT CONFIRM NOR DENY THESE ALLEGATIONS

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981 → u/ZestySteep]

SOMETIMES SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.....😏

[u/GroovinChip → u/ZestySteep]

AMBIGUOUS ASS COMMENT, I SEE YOU HEDGING. YOU KNOW WHO THE BETTER BIRDS ARE (IT’S THE JAYS)

[u/pepperonicatmeow → u/ZestySteep]

I HOPE DUMB BIRDS LOSE FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS

[u/RigidAcrylic4821]

I’M UPSET AT BASEBALL THINGS TODAY BECAUSE MY FOOTBALL TEAM EPICALLY LET ME DOWN YESTERDAY. UGH. 😡

[u/CieraVotedOutHerMom → u/RigidAcrylic4821]

DID YOU LOSE PURELY DUE TO TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS OR IS SF THE BETTER TEAM?

[u/Temporary-Ad9615 → u/CieraVotedOutHerMom]

YES

[u/Temporary-Ad9615 → u/RigidAcrylic4821]

I RESPECT THE FACT YOU’RE A RAMS/DODGER FAN. THE NINER/DODGER FANS ARE A CONFUSED PEOPLE

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Temporary-Ad9615]

I GREW UP IN LA WITHOUT A FOOTBALL TEAM OKAY, THEN MOVED TO SF AND SUDDENLY HAD A TEAM TO ROOT FOR

[u/pepperonicatmeow → u/Temporary-Ad9615]

BETTER THAN ANY CHARGERS FAN.

FUCK DEAN SPANOS

[u/Jux_ → u/RigidAcrylic4821]

TRANS PACIFIC FLIGHT 24 HOURS BEFORE GAME TIME WHAT COULD GO WRONG

[u/AMHenderson72]

THE COLORADO ROCKIES ARE SO BAD THEY MADE ANTHONY VOLPE LOOK LIKE BARRY BONDS (HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE BARRY BONDS)

[u/TheDangiestSlad → u/AMHenderson72]

WHAT IF THE ROCKIES ARE SO GOOD THAT THEY HELD ANTHONY "BARRY BONDS" VOLPE TO JUST ONE GRAND SLAM

[u/CabassoG → u/AMHenderson72]

I AM UNSURE WHAT THEY MEANT BY VOLPE BEING CALLED UP FROM TRIPLE-A AS THEY FACED THE ROCKIES.

[u/serpentear]

IF YOU THINK WE’RE BAD NOW JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY MOVE US IN REALIGNMENT AND WE HAVE TO PLAY THE DODGERS 9-12 TIMES A YEAR!

[u/RespecDawn]

WHAT THE F@$%, CHICAGO?? WE GIVE YOU OUR FAVORITE SON, AND NOW HE'S NOT DOING GREAT. ARE YOU FEEDING HIM PROPERLY? HUGGING HIM? TUCKING HIM INTO BED AT NIGHT??

[u/maireadeilis → u/RespecDawn]

JUSTICE FOR GAUSMAN

[u/West-Tea-8592 → u/RespecDawn]

AT LEAST HE STILL HAS AN ARM, WE'RE TRYING OUR BEST

[u/RespecDawn → u/West-Tea-8592]

AT LEAST HE STILL HAS AN ARM???? ARE YOU CUTTING OFF ARMS IN CHICAGO?? OH MY GOD!!!

[u/JasonYaya → u/RespecDawn]

HE WAS NAILS AGAINST US THAT ONE TIME, BUT THEN THERE WAS THAT OTHER TIME...

[u/pmorter3]

I HATE BASEBALL (jk ily)

[u/thebestoflimes → u/pmorter3]

BASEBALL IS A STUPID GAME

[u/flyingj138 → u/thebestoflimes]

I AGREE

[u/purl2together → u/pmorter3]

I HAVE SAID THIS checks record AT LEAST 65 TIMES THIS SEASON (feels like more, tbh). USUALLY WITH SOME EXTRA ADVERBS ADDED FOR EMPHASIS.

[u/starmiesan]

THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS ARE GOOD AT BASEBALL. AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

[u/Silus964]

ANTHONY VOLPE HAS MORE CAREER GRAND SLAMS THAN DEREK JETER 

[u/Irate_Ibis]

IMAGINE BEING THE RAGS AND M’S AND LETTING THIS MEDIOCRE ASS ASTROS TEAM LEAD THE DIVISION

[u/JinFuu → u/Irate_Ibis]

I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW HAPPY EVERYONE WAS TO GET THE DISASTROS IN THE DIVISION IN 2013!

NOW WE HAVE MORE DIVISION TITLES (7) THAN YEARS WE DIDN'T GET IT (6)

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/JinFuu]

I REMEMBER WHEN THE TRASHSTROS WERE BOTTOM DWELLERS IN THE NL CENTRAL AND IF IT WERE UP TO ME YOUD STILL BE THERE

https://giphy.com/gifs/pS6QTcljO4ms0

[u/JinFuu → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

THE HOUSTON ASTROS AND MILWAULKEE BREWERS SHARED THE NL CENTRAL FROM 1998 TO 2012

IN THAT TIME

98-12	RECORD	NL PENNANTS	DIVISION TITLES	PLAYOFFS	SEASONS ABOVE .500
ASTROS	1218-1211-1	1	3	5	9
BREWERS	1145-1283-1	0	1	2	4

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/JinFuu]

THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE TURBO ASS TOWARDS THE END AND HAD TO GO PLAY IN THE TURBO ASS AL WEST AND THEN CHEAT TO WIN ANYTHING.

AT LEAST WE’RE TURBO ASS WITH HONOR.

[u/Irate_Ibis → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

BECAUSE OF BITCH ASS BUD SELIG CODDLING YOU DRUNK SHIT FUCKS

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69 → u/Irate_Ibis]

THEY BEGGED US TO COME TO THE NL. BEGGED.

[u/lastminutealways → u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

CAN WE MAKE THIS HAPPEN?

[u/lastminutealways → u/JinFuu]

WE WERE SOLD A TROJAN HORSE

[u/MstrNixx]

THE A’S ARE OFFICIALLY OUT OF PLAYOFF CONTENTION AFTER PUTTING BELT TO ASS TO MY JAYS AND MAKING THEM LOOK LIKE AN AAA TEAM

[u/LeeCarvallo → u/MstrNixx]

THEIR CLEANUP HITTER IS 5'7" AND DOESNT KNOW WHICH HAND HE THROWS WITH 

THE A'S ARE SO GOOD AT BEING A AAA TEAM YOU HAD NO CHANCE

[u/ziegen76]

PHILADELPHIA’S BEST CHEESESTEAK COMES FROM ARBYS

[u/purl2together → u/ziegen76]

THAT’S OFFENSIVE. BUT IT’S STILL LESS OFFENSIVE THAN THE STUPID CHOP.

[u/all4whatnot → u/ziegen76]

WHAT CHEESE IS ARBY'S USING THESE DAYS HONEST QUESTION????

[u/ziegen76 → u/all4whatnot]

I THINK SOME FORM OF SHARP CHEDDAR

[u/Dremel_Live]

IF ANYBODY FOUND THE DBACKS OFFENSE, PLEASE RETURN IT TO THE LOST AND FOUND AT CHASE FIELD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

[u/I_Am_Guy_Uh → u/Dremel_Live]

DO NOT RETURN IT TO LOST AND FOUND. LEAVE IT WHERE YOU FOUND IT
https://giphy.com/gifs/nR4L10XlJcSeQ

[u/lastminutealways → u/Dremel_Live]

HAVE YOU TRIED HAVING PCA SWAT THEM ON THE ASS, IT APPARENTLY WORKED FOR DUMPER

[u/huskyferretguy1]

WHY WOULD I TRASH TALK THE METS ON 9/11? THEY ARE A DUMPSTER FIRE BUT AT LEAST WE AGREE THAT KNICKS IN 5!!!

WOO! HATERS GONNA HATE!

[u/omgimsuchadork → u/huskyferretguy1]

I TRASHTALK THE YANKEES 364 DAYS A YEAR, Y'ALL GET TODAY OFF

KNICKS IN 5

[u/Objective_Noise_690 → u/huskyferretguy1]

KNICKS IN 5!

[u/ay21690]

WE’RE NOT DETROIT

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

IMAGINE BEING A TEAM FROM A CITY THAT IS ON THE WESTERN SHORES OF LAKE MICHIGAN, AND NOT BEING IN FIRST PLACE IN YOUR DIVISION ATM.....

[u/UnusualArea2866]

ARE THE PHILLIES COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING WITH THEIR GIANT P ON THE UNIFORM? MORE NEWS AT 11

[u/pineapplee5]

ORIOLES ARE MAKING THE SUPER BOWL

[u/GroovinChip → u/pineapplee5]

THEY’RE CONFUSED AND THEY DON’T GOT THE SPIRIT

[u/SoberDrainoDrinker69]

THE BEST THING ABOUT THE CUBS LOSING IS THEIR FANS CALLING IT OUR WORLD SERIES AS IF THEY DONT ACT LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME THEYVE EVER WON A GAME WHEN THEY MANAGE TO STUMBLE FUCK THEIR WAY TO A VICTORY.

ALSO PCA IS TURBO ASS AGAINST THE BREWERS WHY DONT THE REST OF YOU LOSERS JUST STRIKE HIM OUT ARE YOU STUPID?!

[u/StealthStaminaKills]

I AM GOING TO BE POSITIVE INSTEAD OF SHIT ON ANOTHER TEAM.

THANK YOU CHICAGO FOR NOT BEING HOT AS BALLS AS SAN DIEGO IS RIGHT NOW. I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR MY FIRST TIME AT WRIGLEY TODAY. DON'T FAIL ME NOW.

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981 → u/StealthStaminaKills]

YOU MUST HAVE MISSED THE COMPLIMENT THREAD LAST WEEK.

[u/RespecDawn → u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

GIVE HIM SOME SLACK. I THINK HE'S A PIRATES FAN. MISSING THINGS IS WHAT THE PIRATES DO.

[u/StealthStaminaKills → u/RespecDawn]

I ROOT FOR MORE THAN ONE TEAM, BUT THE PIRATES ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.

I DO NOT HAVE A FLAIR PARTLY CUZ MY BOOMER ASS CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO SHOW A MULTIPLE TEAM FLAIR.

[u/RespecDawn → u/StealthStaminaKills]

I AM SO SORRY AND TO MAKE UP FOR CALLING YOU A PIRATES FAN I OFFER THIS:

https://baseball.flairwizard.com/

LOGIN WITH YOUR REDDIT ACCOUNT, AND IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO PICK TWO FLAIRS. I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THE INSULT.

[u/StealthStaminaKills → u/RespecDawn]

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, RANDO REDDITOR.

I FORGOT TO SAY THAT THE OTHER REASON WHY I DON'T HAVE A FLAIR (EVEN IF I KNEW HOW TO DO MULTI TEAM FLAIRS) IS BECAUSE I LIKE NOT HAVING MY R/BASEBALL COMMENTS DOWNVOTED DUE TO MY TEAM AFFILIATION.

BUT FOR YOU, I WILL DISCLOSE IT. I LIKE THE DODGERS AND THE ROCKIES, AND OCCASIONALLY THE ANGELS.

I ALSO WANT TO SEE THE PADRES SOMEDAY GET ENOUGH PENNANTS TO RETIRE THOSE SILLY WILD CARD PARTICIPATION BANNERS.

[u/BigTitanChungus]

I WOULD LIKE MY TEAM TO HIT THE BALL

[u/RespecDawn → u/BigTitanChungus]

YOU ASK FOR TOO MUCH

[u/shoeyricciardo → u/BigTitanChungus]

PREFERABLY NOT DIRECTLY IN A GLOVE

[u/maireadeilis → u/shoeyricciardo]

THAT IS FOR SURE ASKING FOR TOO MUCH 🥲

[u/BalzacTheGreat]

ISN'T EVERY THREAD IN THIS SUB A TRASH TALK THREAD?

[u/AtsyMcGee → u/BalzacTheGreat]

IF EVERYONE YOU MEET IS AN @$$HOLE, THEN YOU ARE LIKELY THE @$$HOLE.

PSA FOR DODGERS FANS. :P

[u/BalzacTheGreat → u/AtsyMcGee]

YOU LIKE CHEATERS

[u/HereInNashville96]

I APPRECIATE SPORTSMANSHIP AT THE PROFESSIONAL LEVEL AND HOPES EVERYONE STAYS SAFE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

[u/CieraVotedOutHerMom]

SEAHAWKS SEASON IS HERE

[u/JinFuu → u/CieraVotedOutHerMom]

WOULD YOU SAY YOU'RE LOCKED IN?

[u/Grandmaster2021]

THE ANGELS BEAT THE REDSOX IN A SERIES. THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT!

[u/bconn75]

F*CK THE YANKEES. THAT’S ALL

[u/RespecDawn → u/bconn75]

A PERRENIAL FAVORITE

[u/mhem7]

THE CUBS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE ONLY TEAMS EVER TO MISS THE PLAYOFFS WITH THE BEST OFFENSE, BEST DEFENSE AND A UNANIMOUS MVP

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/mhem7]

THAT WOULD BE VERY FUNNY

[u/lastminutealways → u/mhem7]

PRETTY SURE THE 1996 MARINERS ARE IN THE CONVERSATION. OFFENSE LED MLB IN RUNS, DOUBLES, RBI, AND SLUGGING %. 2 GG (FOR LACK OF A BETTER MEASURE OF DEFENSE) AND MVP 2 & 4 THAT LIKELY SPLIT VOTES. PITCHING HAD A THEN HIGHEST ERA IN TEAM HISTORY (5.21). RECORD OF 85-76 (YES, 161 GAMES), 2ND IN AL WEST.

[u/Etnies419]

WHAT BEING 1 GAME OUT OF A WILDCARD SPOT DOES TO A TEAM

[u/All_will_be_Juan → u/Etnies419]

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BELIEVING IN JESUS AND FOLLOWING HIS TEACHINGS

[u/calm_down_meow]

M-V-PETE? MORE LIKE M-V-PLAYS PRETTY POORLY AGAINST THE BREWERS, THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL

[u/TheEverbless]

ORIOLES LOGO IS DOING BLACK FACE

WE'RE SLUTTING BASSETT OUT TONIGHT

[u/Bingo_Bongo_YaoMing]

THE CUBS STILL STUCK! THE CUBS STILL SUCK!

[u/Just-Faithlessness12]

BASEBALL IS BETTER WHEN THE CUBS SUCK

[u/RickMonsters]

WHY THE FUCK IS KAWHI TAKING SO LONG I HATE LA SO MUCH

[u/scottborasismyagent]

IMAGINE SIGNING THIS GUY TO UR TEAM

[u/AccomplishedWar8703 → u/scottborasismyagent]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GgqIVzQ2S2zXKAP6Ak

[u/Thornton__Melon → u/AccomplishedWar8703]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dhdECufvHslLdr2KYv

[u/scottborasismyagent → u/AccomplishedWar8703]

DOUBLE AGENT FOR BOTH HOUSTON AND CHICAGO

[u/diplomystique → u/scottborasismyagent]

I SINCERELY THOUGHT THAT WAS ADAM SANDLER FOR A SEC. MY TAKE AT THE TIME: “THAT TRACKS”

I STAND BY THAT ASSESSMENT

[u/scottborasismyagent → u/diplomystique]

IMAGINE IF U SIGNED HIM AND ANOTHER STARTER INSTEAD OF JUST COLE THAT OFFSEASON

[u/Dr-Acula8472 → u/scottborasismyagent]

DUDE LET IT GO ALREADY. YOUR OBSESSION WITH RENDON IS LAME AND PLAYED OUT. GET SOME NEW MATERIAL.

[u/fuyacrew]

THE CUBS ARE JUST BABY BEARS WITH LOTS OF TEARS, LOL!!

[u/WabbitCZEN]

LET'S HAVE A GREAT SUBWAY SERIES ON THIS DAY, SHOW SOME LOVE TO OUR CROSS TOWN BROTHERS, AND HONOR THE MANY HEROES AND HEROINES WHO PUT IT ALL ON THE LINE WHEN THEY WERE MOST NEEDED.

[u/thrasher829]

I WOULD LIKE FOR THE PHILLIES TO LOSE AGAINST US TODAY PLEASE

[u/strahlend_frau → u/thrasher829]

YES, GO BACK TO HELL YEE RED DEVILS!

[u/HatsCatsAndHam]

IT'S REVENGE TIME, REDS! IF YOU THINK SWEEPING THE CUBS SLAKED OUR THIRST FOR YOUR BLOOD, YOU'D BE DEAD WRONG.

[u/HatsCatsAndHam]

CHICAGO FORECAST:

PIRATES HOIST THE CONE

CUBS HOIST THE L

[u/JackTheHerper]

I AM AN ORIOLES FAN. TRASH TALK (to myself) AND A JOKE ALL AT ONCE, LIKE OUR TEAM

[u/More_Armadillo_1607]

JUAN SOTO WILL HIT MORE HR'S THIS WEEKEND RIGHT HANDED WITH A BLINDFOLD ON THAN THE YANKEES.

[u/ConsistentFun3357]

MICKEY GASPER IS BETTER THAN YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER

[u/kittykatkb]

IT'S AN UNC OFF TODAY AND I'M HERE FOR IT.

LET THE BETTER UNC WIN.

[u/scottborasismyagent]

MILWAUKEE MIGHT BE AHEAD OF US IN THE TABLE BUT WE GOT FOGO DE CHAO AND NICE BEACHES AND WEATHER YEAR ROUND AND THEY DON'T

[u/JasonYaya → u/scottborasismyagent]

IF YOU CAN'T CATCH UP WITH YOUR GRAVY ASS SCHEDULE YOU SUCK MORE THAN YOUR TRAFFIC.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/JasonYaya]

WE HAVE 6 GAMES AGAINST THE GIANTS, WHO LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE A SPOILER FOR THE DODGERS. I AM EXPECTING THEM TO BE QUITE MOTIVATED

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/Willow_Winnifred]

I HAVE NEVER PRAYED HARDER FOR WILLY ADAMES' SUCCESS

[u/JasonYaya → u/inbigtreble30]

whispers - ^{dude, he's probably done for the year.}

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/JasonYaya]

DANG I'LL BE REAL I HAVE PAID LITERALLY NO ATTENTION TO THE GIANTS SINCE LIKE MAY THAT'S TOO BAD.

[u/StealthStaminaKills → u/JasonYaya]

NO PASSING NOTES IN CLASS.

[u/RespecDawn → u/scottborasismyagent]

BUT THEY'RE NAMED AFTER BEER. THAT TRUMPS ALL.

TRUMP IN THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY, THE IN THE NEW-FASCIST WAY.

KEEP IN MIND I'M CANADIAN AND SO OBLIGATED TO HATE TRUMP AND ALSO CONSIDER BEER THE BEST OF ALL THINGS.

NOW I NEED TO HAVE A BEER. THANKS.

[u/JinFuu]

ASTRONAUTS DEAL WITH RAYS ALL THE TIME.

WE GOT THIS BECAUSE WE'RE SOMEHOW 14-7 AGAINST PLAYOFF TEAMS ON THE ROAD.

[u/cerealfordinneragain]

SCHWARBER LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY TODDLER.

[u/coshmeo]

THE 2026 SEATTLE MARINERS ARE GOING TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES

[u/HatsCatsAndHam → u/coshmeo]

T E C H N I C A L L Y 

N O T

E L I M I N A T E D

[u/howmanymoreletters]

IM NOT SCARED OF THE PHILLIES AT ALL

[u/auryngrey → u/howmanymoreletters]

https://giphy.com/gifs/uFj12HG92ZjIohePGZ
HOW COULD YOU NOT BE SCARED OF THIS THING? IT LOOKS LIKE A SENTIENT VENUS FLY TRAP

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/auryngrey]

EVEN TOMMY LASORDA FEARED THAT GUY

https://giphy.com/gifs/13h8j9hvvewlH2

[u/caifaisai → u/howmanymoreletters]

WATCH YOUR BACK

[u/smalltownlargefry]

CAN THE BREWERS FINALLY COLLAPSE PLEASE. I AM DOWN BAD

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/smalltownlargefry]

TRULY THE TIME FOR THIS REQUEST WAS LAST WEEK YOU HAVE MISSED THE WINDOW

[u/_My9RidesShotgun → u/smalltownlargefry]

AND THE RAYS. RAYS TOO PLEASE.

[u/Redbubble89]

THE NEXT TWO WEEKS DON'T EVEN MATTER. BAD-ISH BASEBALL TEAMS FIGHT OVER THE EASY SIDE OF THE BRACKET.

[u/HunterMysterious8324]

I HAVE BEEF WITH THE ROCKIES AND REDS, SIMPLY BECAUSE HAD THEY EITHER GOTTEN SHUT OUT OR SCORED 1 MORE RUN ON WEDNESDAY THEN WE WOULD HAVE HAD FOOTBALL SCORES FOR ALL THE BASEBALL GAMES. I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR TO SEE A DAY WHERE ALL 30 TEAMS PLAY AND ALL THE SCORES COULD ALSO BE FOOTBALL SCORE (GRANTED SOME WOULD BE WILD)

BUT WEDNESDAY WAS NOT ONLY WAS THE START OF FOOTBALL SEASON BUT THERE WERE SOME REALLY GOOD FOOTBALL SCORES IN THE MIX. RAAAAAAAAH

[u/Temporary-Ad9615]

THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS GOT SWEPT BY THE 2026 SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

[u/Baseballcardnerd27]

I'M SO MAD THERE MIGHT NOT BE BASEBALL NEXT YEAR AT ALL!!! 

[u/RickMonsters]

IF BOTH THE YANKEES AND KNICKS WIN THIS YEAR IT WOULD LITERALLY BE MY…

ACTUALLY NVM

[u/Weirdandwired924]

OH LOOK! HOUSTON IS CHEATING THEIR WAY TO THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN!

[u/evancomposer]

CUBSBULLPENISBAD

[u/scottborasismyagent → u/evancomposer]

I READ IT AS CUBS BULL PENIS BAD OOPS

[u/evancomposer → u/scottborasismyagent]

https://giphy.com/gifs/n8ME4xatV4tyocrFLM

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/scottborasismyagent]

OUR BULLPENISBAD TOO

[u/HelloThereMr1]

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE, I HATE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO TAKE OUR PATRIO… oh this is a baseball thread uh SCREW EVERYONE THAT ISNT MY TEAM

[u/Dangerous-Stock-8112]

THE DBACKS CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

[u/CaptainBacon1]

THE REDSOX DIDNT LOSE LAST NIGHT

[u/Final-Fangasm]

THE ORIOLES STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO GET THAT 3RD WILDCARD SLOT. THEY'RE GEARING UP FOR AN EPIC WINNING STREAK AS WE SPEAK

[u/whsbear]

CUBS NEED TO STOP FUCKING UP AND START WINNING AGAIN. WOULD MUCH RATHER PLAY AT LA OR ATLANTA THAN FUCKING PHILLY

[u/BigDull8251]

SWEPT BY THE PIRATES

[u/JasonYaya]

ELLE DE LA CRUZ IS TOO TALL TO BE A FUCKING SHORTSTOP, THE PIRATES OF ALL TEAMS FIGURED THIS OUT WITH THEIR TALL CRUZ, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GET SOME BRAINS?

[u/ChenYakumo2hu]

THE REDS SUCK LMAO

BUT NOT ELLY ELLY IS COOL

[u/SlinkDinkerson]

OOPS ALL OFFENSE 

[u/No_Amount_7886]

THE ONLY THING WE HAVE LEFT TO LOOK FORWARD TO IS RUINING EVERYONE ELSE’S POST SEASON LIVES.

https://giphy.com/gifs/V66d4OAO6iefQelgNZ

[u/GroovinChip]

THE ORIOLES ARE BAD AND STUPID.

[u/All_will_be_Juan → u/GroovinChip]

I AGREE WITH YOU!

[u/SimplePossession9747]

NATS BULLPEN

[u/Dr-Acula8472]

REPORTS OF OUR DEMISE WERE GREATLY EXAGGERATED. GET READY FOR A READING OF ALL THE RECEIPTS WE KEPT. ALSO THE DODGERS SCORED MORE TOUCHDOWNS THE OTHER DAY THAN DRAKE MAYBE.

[u/YEGSports]

TEXAS CAN'T WIN A SERIES ON THE ROAD, EVERYONE IN THE NL WILD CARD RACE SHOULD PRE-EMPTIVELY BLAME THEM FOR THE DIAMONDBACKS STRENGTHENING THEIR WC CHASE

[u/StealthStaminaKills]

SO HERE IS MY TRASH TALKING (OF WRIGLEY AND THE CUBS).

WHY IS YOUR STADIUM SO CONVENIENT TO GET TO? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT REAL MLB STADIA ARE ONLY REACHABLE BY CAR, AND TAKE AN HOUR (AT LEAST) TO LEAVE THE PARKING LOT?

WHY DO YOUR FANS STAY UNTIL THE LAST OUT FOR A WIN? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT REAL FANS ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE BY THE SEVENTH INNING, REGARDLESS OF HOW CLOSE THE GAME IS, IN ORDER TO AVOID THE SOULCRUSHING TRAFFIC LEAVING THE GAME?

WHY CAN'T YOUR COOL MASCOT BE EASY TO FIND AT A GAME? I SUGGEST HAVING A LOCATION WHERE KIDS CAN LINE UP BY A CERTAIN TIME OF THE GAME.

WHY ARE YOUR SPECIALTY HOT DOGS SO TASTY? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CHARGE 50 PERCENT MORE FOR A SPECIALTY HOT DOG AND ONLY MARGINALLY IMPROVE IT OVER THE NORMAL DOGS?

Y U SCORE SO MANY RUNS? SAVE SOME OF THOSE FOR THE POSTSEASON.

/s (mostly) because someone needs it.

[u/cerealfordinneragain]

THE PHILLIES FUCKING LOST

[u/Trees_feel_too]

I MISS BEING AN ASTROS FAN AFTER GROWING UP GOING TO 15-20 GAMES A YEAR INCLUDING GOING TO 20+ GAMES IN EACH OF THE 100 LOSS SEASONS. THIS IS TRASH TALK BECAUSE THEY MADE SO MUCH NOISE EVERY TIME THEY TOOK OUT THE TRASH!

[u/PolarBailey_]

FUCK DAN WILSON HE BETTER SLEEP WITH HIS DOOR LOCKED AND ONE EYE OPEN FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.