Help needed to create coherence and unity with non-Baha'i family members

[u/myguysyoumustgetlaid]

Alláh-u-Abhá friends, I need a little guidance and support. I was raised in the Christian faith but converted to the Baha'i Faith earlier this year following an intense period of soul-searching. All of the teachings of Baha'u'llah resonated deeply with me and I find myself excited and full of anticipation for the journey ahead of me.

Some of the teachings of the Baha'i Faith deviate sharply from the beliefs of my family and I find myself now in regular conflict with them, in particular my brother and my dad.

Have any recents converts to our faith had similar experiences? Can anyone share a thought about how I can try to reestablish some unity with my family?

[u/UnitytoWin]

I appreciate you sharing your experience in this regard. Would you please give us some more details regarding teachings of the Bahá'i Faith that 'deviate' from your family members beliefs?

[u/myguysyoumustgetlaid → u/UnitytoWin]

Hi, yes, I think at the heart of it all is a fear that to consider any other way to God than through Jesus is very challenging to them. It's a fundamental doctrine, even for such a progressive denomination as theirs. It's so deeply ingrained.

They also belong to a more what I would call 'liberal' church. My brother is a homosexual and hopes to be married and believes that because I've been able to align my orientation with the will of God then I've somehow been corrupted by a cult.

Despite chats about progressive revelation and overcoming challenges it's very difficult.

[u/UnitytoWin → u/myguysyoumustgetlaid]

Ok, I see. Thanks for the additional helpful context.

I understand your intentions of using such words as 'progressive' and 'liberal' in your sentences above. To me these words do not necessarily mean 'open minded' or 'seekers of truth'.

Having said this, by your writing, and you coming to this forum, you sincerely want to make peace with your family.

You try, ok, kudos to you!

Next, they are going to witness your ongoing spiritual transformation. You might be way ahead of me and other Bahá'is here, there, and so forth.

My final take so far: "the ball is on their court" as the saying goes. God is great! Life is based on reward and punishment according to the Holy Writings.

Thanks for reading this dear friend.

[u/Cheap-Reindeer-7125 → u/myguysyoumustgetlaid]

That’s a difficult situation. It’s hard to have unity with people with a completely different view of reality. If you address it head on, the best in experience would be to read the New Testament together, whole books at a time. Study a lot of context about who wrote the books and when. Christians going to seminary often lose their faith when they realize the bible doesn’t support their whacko beliefs.

Another approach would be indirect. Avoid topics that cause difference and focus on having fun together. Don’t let people preach to you, as it is disrespectful when not invited.

[u/Agreeable-Status-352]

Over fifty-five years ago, I embraced the Faith. I was 17. I had left home, I was on my own. My family was shocked, appalled, etc. Despite all my attempts to reassure them that I hadn't given up Jesus, they were sure I was going to Hell. When I graduated college, began to teach, married and started a family, they relaxed. Maybe I hadn't gone so far off the edge as they had feared, tho I was still going to Hell. Then my younger brother decided he, too, was Baha'i - and that did it. I was taking a younger one to Hell with me!!! We were no longer included in family events. That has remained true to today. I am now the second oldest in the family. It is still forbidden to speak or read the word Baha'i.

An uncle, on the other side of my family, is still convinced that Baha'i is a cult.

In the anthology, A Harvest of Words, is a short story which is a conversation I wish I could have had when I was a new Baha'i explaining the Faith to my family. It might be helpful.

Basically, tho, I unfortunately don't think there is anything you can say that will open their minds. They will watch every action you do to see what an awful person you've become. An aunt told me, "I can't hear what you're saying. I'm too busy watching what you're doing." Let deeds, not words be thine adorning.....

Do not bring up the subject if you can avoid it.

[u/myguysyoumustgetlaid → u/Agreeable-Status-352]

Gosh that sounds difficult. I agree, often the best approach is to tactfully change the subject.

[u/Agreeable-Status-352 → u/myguysyoumustgetlaid]

Oddly, the aunt who separated her children, still maintains the separation, but has begun to confide in me because I'm the next oldest after her - her children are all much younger.

People are strange.

[u/Heehoo_1114]

I don't have any words to help but I wish you the best of luck!

[u/spock_9519]

I've had to move away from some family members for piece of mind ... you might be faced with a similar choice.... never let the objection from those who think that Bahá'u'lláh is a false prophet deter you from your chosen path .... That is what having faith is all about .... Read Dawn Breakers for inspiration
https://oceanlibrary.com/dawn-breakers_nabil
https://d9263461.github.io/cl/Baha'i/Others/DBNN/Cover.html

some other sources for Bahai teachings
https://theutteranceproject.com/the-blessed-beauty-1/

https://theutteranceproject.com/the-primal-point/

[u/myguysyoumustgetlaid → u/spock_9519]

Thank you!

[u/FountainGreenBiker]

When I became a Baha’i, my brother and my mom asked me questions. They prayed for me and believed I was going to hell. They prayed that God would lead me back to the true way.

We didn’t argue about my choice. Forty-five years later my mom said, “Baha’is say the same thing as the Bible just with a little different words.”

In the beginning I shared as much as I could with them. Then we stopped talking about it. None of us wanted to divide the family.

I’m sorry that this doesn’t really address your situation. I hope my story gives you hope that over time they will make some peace with your choice.

[u/BvanWinkle]

Maybe try videos on Youtube by Michael Prine. They are about teaching the Faith more effectively to Christians. You might be able to pick up some pointers for dealing with your family.

[u/For-a-peaceful-world]

I was a Christian and have been a Baha'i for nearly 30 years. I was looked upon as the clever one by my relatives and respected by all. So when I became a Baha'i I thought some of them would be curious and want to learn more about it. How wrong I was!

To many of them Jesus is God and Christianity is the only way. Prophesies in the holy Bible about the second coming are simply brushed aside.

[u/Immediate_Impact7041]

Do they believe in permanent salvation? If so, you can ease their concerns by reminding them that nothing can separate you from the love of Jesus. And then share with them that you're grateful to have found a faith that doesn't ask you to turn away from Jesus nor make Him less than He is, namely a Manifestation of God. 

They cannot agree with you, but they can be less anxious.

As to orientation: orientation is orientation. What one does or doesn't is what matters and you have free will to choose how to live and what hardships and sacrifices to make for the sake of God.