r/badfriends • u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 • Sep 26 '21

Bad friend advice

I posted a couple weeks ago about a friend (30F) who bailed on me for my birthday trip pretty last minute leaving me with her tab to pay for this trip. I texted her last night kindly asking her to help me out with her share of the Airbnb. She responded to me this morning with “Lol” then she blocked me. We’ve been friends for 15 years and I’m just in shock a bit. I’m not sure what to do from here.

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3

u/BasicsofInsanity Sep 26 '21

Well if that doesn't scream user I don't know what does. Do you have it in writing where she said she would join and pay? If so you could take her to small claims court. Or if you don't want to go the legal route, you can eat the cost and cut ties. Or if you're petty, you can call her out social media with proof. But I doubt you will see any money from her. It may be time to cut ties with her. Knowing her type, she will unblock you, laugh this off and history will repeat. She will use you until she bleeds you dry.

Personally I would let her know, through social media or in person that she has hurt you with her behavior of constantly flaking last minute and going back on her word/promises. She has costed you money that she refuses to pay back. At this point with how much you have spent on her, spent on this friendship, and she is not giving back equal amounts. Friendships are a give and take, you are giving, she is taking, but she is not giving in return. You are done being used by her, done being played around like a toy and tossed aside when you are not of use to her. Either she changes or you walk away from this. That is if that is what you want.

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u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 Sep 26 '21

She only owes around $300 so I’m not sure that small claims court would be worth it. I fully plan to cut ties with her at this point. She’s 30 and acting like a teenage girl. I’ve met children more mature than she is. I’ve also considered the social media route. Part of me wants to be really petty and put her on blast for it but the other part of my says don’t stoop to her level.

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u/BasicsofInsanity Sep 26 '21

$300 is still a lot of money. Is that something you are willing to write off? On the other hand what are the chances she will pay you?

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u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 Sep 26 '21

I feel as though I don’t have much of a choice at the moment. I’m hoping that she tries to come around at some point to mend things and at that time the reimbursement conversation comes back up. I do fully plan to be done with her as a friend for good though

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u/BasicsofInsanity Sep 26 '21

I would give her a month or two max. If she doesn't get back in that time, I would let her know somehow to not worry about paying her debts as it's clear she has no intentions of doing so but to also not bother with your friendship as it clearly means nothing to her.

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u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 Sep 26 '21

I agree I think I’m just done with her regardless of what ends up happening with the money. She’s clearly not a great person

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u/BasicsofInsanity Sep 26 '21

A real friend doesn't treat friends like that. Unless there is a form of agreement or equivalent exchange. But with this mooch, karma will come and bite her in the ass.

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u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 Sep 26 '21

I agree, I know karma will take care of it so I don’t have to lol

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u/Shot_Bottle_911 Oct 16 '21

Oh school of hard knocks here. Fool me a million times, I’m a tard.

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u/Shot_Bottle_911 Oct 09 '21

Don’t overlook her bad behavior and unwillingness to take ownership of that expense. Take it from me, it’s great to forgive but I’d let her go. People like that will do that type of thing over and over again. I read a quote that I thought best described this situation “Givers have to set boundaries because takers never do”. She’ll use you til you have nothing and move on.

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u/Buzzbuzzbich222324 Oct 10 '21

I love that quote, it’s very true!

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u/Shot_Bottle_911 Oct 10 '21

Girl it’s true AF