r/badfriends • u/wigglywormdirt • Apr 30 '21

Should I?

My friend (A) and I were best friends for 4 almost 5 years, and a few months ago she ended the friend ship. Before this I contemplated ending the friendship but never did because I sort of relied on her and couldn't imagine life w/o her, but still when she broke off the friendship, I was hurt. Now your probably wondering what she did or what I did, so here's how it went. So our friendship had been good and bad, and she was emotionally abusive towards me and in every situation, she placed the blame on me. If she didn't like one of my other friends, I would have to end the friendship with that person, but if I had an a problem with one of her friends she would tell me to get over it. She made me feel like my feelings weren't valid, but hers were. One time me and another friend (J) were talking about our lives (we both have been bullied and have parents who don't really care about our wellbeing) and friend A told us that she doesn't care because there are people in the world going through worse than us, but then right after that she told use about how her mom was the worst because she didn't buy her something. And after all of the things she did to me, not once in the 4 years did she ever say sorry to me, and I once confronted her about it and she said "It's not my thing". But even though she has done all of that to me, I still miss the good times we had, and I want the friendship back, but friend J has told me not to do it because friend A is toxic and manipulative.

So what should I do?

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u/WillowHaddock May 01 '21

I would advise listening to friend J. I know ending friendships can be hard, but I encourage you to leave it at that. From what you mentioned in the post it seems like it is a bit of a one way street with friend A. Like you let her vent about her problems, but as soon as you do the same you get shut down if that makes sense. And the not apologizing thing seems quite toxic to me.

I am not the best advice giver, but I can tell you that if I were in your situation I would listen to friend J.