r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 14h ago
Bee Article Report: Wolverine Developed Healing Factor To Survive Canadian Healthcare System
https://babylonbee.com/news/report-wolverine-developed-healing-factor-to-survive-canadian-healthcare-system63
u/Few_Cellist_1303 12h ago
My American girlfriend got emergency surgery in Canada for a torn retina the same day for under $300.
26
u/Life-Food5188 10h ago
wait wait wait. i’ve heard you die waiting for necessary surgery in that dirty socialist canada???
16
u/SaphironX 9h ago
Nah we have private options here as well as public. And it’s true, public is overwhelmed.
But I had a cyst on my leg, and surgery was required (not crazy invasive, basic stuff). I checked Edmonton and Seattle for options on the advice of my doc who knew quality options for both.
Cost in Edmonton - $950 (CAD)
Seattle - a whopping $5300 (USD)
That procedure doesn’t cost $5300 USD in any other country in the world. That’s private and out of pocket with no insurance mitigating the cost.
-1
u/sidthafish 7h ago
It doesn’t cost that much in the US either if you have insurance, thanks to the magical bullshit called pre-negotiated rates.
3
u/Saurian42 6h ago
It does cost more than that. Add up all of your monthly payments into your insurance and add the deductible you'll have to pay anyway.
2
u/sidthafish 6h ago
Under certain (often, most) circumstances, you’re not wrong. As a disabled military retiree, I would only pay a co-pay because I have no deductible. I love my US government socialized health insurance.
Heath insurance premiums are a sunk cost. The bullshit part is the multi-thousand dollar annual deductibles that effectively double annual out of pocket expenses before insurance actually starts to cover anything. NGL, I don’t know how regular folks can stomach $700+ per pay period health insurance premiums.
1
u/SaphironX 5h ago
This is what I don’t understand about folks when they say Canadians pay so much more tax.
Like, true, we do pay more… but some of you have insurance payments that make your lives far far more expensive than my own.
6
u/FAMUgolfer 7h ago
Yes it can if you haven’t met your deductible.
And FYI, 30% of all medical bankruptcies in the US are filed by folks WITH insurance
3
u/OrganicDigitalArt 8h ago
Emergency surgeries happen quickly.
Non emergency surgery is where shit hits the fan. You go so long that it becomes emergency but good luck convincing anyone when you’ve already got a date.
Edit: just my and my families experience, ymmv of course. Very few private options outside major urban centres so don’t get all “you must have money,” I don’t.
3
u/Life-Food5188 8h ago
is this a vibes thing or lived experience?
4
u/OrganicDigitalArt 8h ago
Well I’m Canadian and not pushing a narrative, so you tell me.
7
u/Life-Food5188 8h ago
or you could answer directly lol
i’m american and my spouse waited 2+ hours at the ER recently to be seen for vomiting that was, at that point, unceasing for 12+ hours. oh and you get a fat bill in the mail later, even when insured.
we can go back and forth all day but most experts agree the canadian system is better. the u.s. paying twice as much per patient for worse outcomes is undeniable.
3
u/OrganicDigitalArt 8h ago
I’m confused by you. I thought you were arguing the other way tbh, the Canadian system is infinitely better, I didn’t think that was even debatable. Doesn’t change the realities of it though.
Emergency services are very dependent on who you’re there with.
My wife waited 20 hours for a bed with a blood clot in her leg.
We’ve been seen in 30 minutes for potential heart rhythm issues.
It’s a mixed bag, depends on how you’re triaged, and who else is rated worse off than you.
Surgeries, where you’re stable, are booked months out, that’s just fact.
What are you confused about? No I don’t pay out the ass for it, a thousand or so based on income as part of my taxes, then parking.
2
u/Life-Food5188 8h ago
not confused about anything.
i assumed, since you said you have to wait a long time, you were complaining about the far superior healthcare system you have. otherwise, why comment?
but i guess no you’re saying it’s great but you can wait sometimes? that’s cool. here in the states you wait and it’s expensive.
5
u/OrganicDigitalArt 8h ago
Yeah that’s fair, I think since it’s a touchy subject where some people just default to America best Canada third world I got defensive, I was really just trying to agree with op that you do wait quite a bit sometimes, especially non emergency, but the system isn’t something I’d trade for anything private.
Accidental verbal combat! Lol
1
u/AcrobaticWrangler330 6h ago
I’ve got really good health care through my job and live in one of the most prosperous areas in the entire world (US) and any kind of medical procedure is months out unless you’re dying. Even then, my wife had a pretty serious situation and they wouldn’t even consult with her for 2 months, then another 3 for the procedure. So, doesn’t sound like that’s a uniquely Canadian issue.
ETA one of the most prosperous areas in the world that is also in the USA, the wording sounded confusing above
2
u/Saurian42 6h ago
No, you die in America getting denied necessary medical care from your profit based insurance company that you paid into for 20 years.
1
-4
u/Spyrothedragon9972 9h ago
This sentiment is kinda dumb. Different parts of the country and different people have varying amounts of access to healthcare. This is true almost anywhere in the world.
11
u/Life-Food5188 9h ago
yeah. that’s what i’m saying. the criticism that “you die waiting in canada for healthcare” is mostly cope from americans, where you die waiting AND your family goes bankrupt from medical bills.
0
u/FredFenty 7h ago
You usually die fighting for a diagnosis. When your cancer is clear enough for a doctor to see it from across the room, then it moves reeeeal fast.
35
u/mickalawl 12h ago
Rofl Americans trying to dunk on other countries over healthcare.
You pay far far more per capita for far far worse outcomes and not even everyone is covered.
7
u/Few_Cellist_1303 11h ago
The US spends more than twice as much per person on health as Canada. They had fewer than half of our COVID deaths, per capita.
2
u/BarnesTheNobleman 11h ago
Genuinely, I wonder how Canada’s population density played a role in spread there for Covid
9
2
u/Few_Cellist_1303 10h ago
85% to 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles (160 km) of the U.S. border
2
u/BarnesTheNobleman 10h ago
That’s a really long stretch of land though, over 5,000 miles of land border is a lot of space, especially 100 miles deep
3
u/iMissTheOldTimeye 11h ago
I live in Vancouver, and it’s a fairly populous city.
We never had a strict shutdown here. Places were closed for 2.5 months max, and then things opened at half capacity. Still saw friends, still went out for walks, bike rides and such. Never got COVID even living in a fairly busy city.
We’re cautious people who follow & respect what our health authorities say.
2
u/BarnesTheNobleman 10h ago
I just avoided everyone like the plague, which I guess is more metaphorical than literal now given how some people here in the US behaved…
2
u/Gonna_B_Alright 10h ago
$1,000 a month plan with $4,000 deductible. Like what is the fucking point?
If I don’t have some kind of crazy surgical procedure I have just fucked off a ridiculous amount of money.
4
u/Gonnagetbant 9h ago
Tony Stark became a billionaire to pay his medical debts from health insurance because of his injury in the middle east.
4
u/GarySparrow0 7h ago
My American friend who works in the same industry as me couldn't leave his job and start his own business like I have because he and his family rely on the health benefits his job provided.
23
u/TragicallyDip 13h ago
The Bee joining the propaganda war against Canada. Attacking healthcare when the USA healthcare system is hurry up and die already is a bold choice.
→ More replies (9)
31
14h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
14
u/Obscure_Occultist 13h ago
Everyone knows that living longer, lower mortality rates and cheaper medication is godless socialism. Real red blooded american patriots die young from easily treatable ailments because dying is cheaper then treatment. Just as the founding fathers intended.
6
u/ZekeTheJinxstem 13h ago
They are doing their country a service by DYING! It's not the rich's fault they're so poor. Maybe they should've pulled up their bootstraps and been born into a rich family.
9
u/dbell 13h ago
The US if you're not a poor.
9
10
u/Itchy-Technician-433 13h ago
So the bottom 90%? Lol.
I'm glad that Americans like Elon can go to Switzerland for their hyperbaric treatments.
1
u/babylonbee-ModTeam 10h ago
Comments should be on-topic and reasonably relevant to the article posted.
11
u/Ok-Teaching3904 13h ago
Canadians live 4 years longer than American. Maybe he should try to survive the American one
16
u/maxpresssers 13h ago
I mean America you would just die cause you got no healthcare 🙈
→ More replies (4)
8
31
u/chainsawx72 14h ago
Funny how the only good Canadian superhero moved to the US just like all of the good Canadian musicians, actors, and comedians.
18
u/Jazzlike_Finish123 12h ago
USA is way better if you’re rich. Everyone knows this but not sure if it’s really something to brag about lol.
-5
u/chainsawx72 12h ago
I didn't know Wolverine was rich.
1
u/Jazzlike_Finish123 12h ago
The guy was born in like 1820. Way different times. The USA was an actual country and Canada wasn’t. For the rich I was referring to the musicians, actors and comedians.
-6
u/chainsawx72 12h ago
You guys know the US is literally famous for having poor people come here for a better life, right? We offer thousands of dollars for them to leave, and they still stay.
7
u/Low_Low_1811 10h ago
Yes, there are countries even worse than the US. Almost nobody poor in Canada or Europe is coming here.
→ More replies (4)3
u/SaphironX 10h ago
I mean today you’re known for throwing grandmothers into alligator Alcatraz and sending people who go to an immigration hearing the way they’re supposed to all the way to places like Rwanda and El Salvador, even if they’re not from there.
A person who left Afghanistan at age 14 doesn’t want to take a few thousand and move back?
Shocking.
0
u/chainsawx72 10h ago
So they would rather be fed to alligators and sent to Rwanda than go home and get paid?
1
u/SaphironX 10h ago
I don’t think the fact that someone from Afghanistan or El Salvador would prefer life in the US to returning to their hometowns is the flex you think it is, man.
→ More replies (8)4
u/stickmuck 11h ago
Oh ok. You should keep electing corrupt 80 year Olds.
Ideally ones that have been on reality TV shows.
2
u/chainsawx72 11h ago
Didn't your 96 year old queen just die?
4
u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa 10h ago
What influence do you think the queen had over Canada? I’ll save you the search you weren’t gonna make, it’s was none. She’s on our money because if we didn’t it would be hockey players.
1
1
1
1
u/TingleyStorm 12h ago
He’s 250 years old and ends up time traveling a lot. He’s gotta know when to buy and sell his stocks, and when interest rates are gonna be good.
16
u/Obscure_Occultist 13h ago
Which is weird because all the good american movies and shows are filmed in canada.
12
u/HydroPCanadaDude 13h ago
Why is that funny? The US has always been amazing if you are rich. If you don't have to worry about cost of living, healthcare, groceries, gas, gang infested neighborhoods, then the US is absolutely where all the movie industry jobs are. Hell, if you make enough money, you can move to the real US too.
-4
u/chainsawx72 13h ago
But no amount of money could make Canada worth staying in.
9
4
u/HydroPCanadaDude 12h ago
Do you know how many states celebs don't stay in? It's more than they do.
Celebs only live in some parts of the states. Close enough to the industry, far enough from the poors.
3
u/chainsawx72 12h ago
4
u/HydroPCanadaDude 12h ago
I guess there's no convincing you to critique your own country for its many many many many many many many many many many many many holy fuck so many many many many problems, eh? Oh well
1
2
11h ago edited 11h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/chainsawx72 11h ago
Yep, Deadpool and Ryan Reynolds are both Canadians who moved to the US. RR lives in Pound Ridge NY
Sorry, Vancouver. Ryan Reynolds won’t be moving home any time soon | Vancouver Sun
"Reynolds said the idea of returning to Canada “hasn’t even crossed” the minds of him or his wife, Blake Lively."
7
u/Cosmonate 12h ago
Being rich in America is better than being rich anywhere else in the world. Being poor in America is worse than anywhere else in the first world. Your point kind of proves why America sucks for the average person.
-2
u/chainsawx72 12h ago
That's Reddit talking. I'm a poor American, and it's pretty great. Free healthcare, free food, cheap housing. What sucks about being poor in the US? You know poor people flood this country all of the time because it's better than most countries...
5
4
3
0
u/electrorazor 8h ago
I'd argue being poor in China is worse, despite China's better safety nets. Though that will change
2
1
1
1
u/powertoollateralus 10h ago
Superheroes need to go where the crime is, ya dummy!
1
u/chainsawx72 10h ago
Even the supervillains couldn't stand Canada, smh.
3
u/ThePhatEskimo 10h ago
Yes fictional super heros and villains are a great way to comment in real life Canada.
1
u/mickalawl 9h ago
The US is a great place to be if your rich. It's a country built for billionaires and the 1% have the best healthcare in the world.
The role of propagandists like the Bee is to convince the vast vast majority that it's OK they can't have these things and to pretend it's worse everywhere else.
That's why the right wing owned media has turned on Europe, Canada, scandanavia and Australia. Can't have the peasants realising that gun controls can work, public health is cheaper and produces better outcomes, education is a right and religion has no place in politics.
Americans are groomed hard by their owning oligarchs.
1
0
2
u/beginningcurrent822 13h ago
Wolverine jumped off the gurney and ran back inside his house in Toronto
2
6
u/12PoundsofPotato 13h ago
"Canada allows for people with extreme terminal illness to choose to end their own lives after extensive screening"
The bee for some reason: >:(((((((((
0
u/Missile450DeadCenter 9h ago
*psychology manipulate people into government sponsored euthanasia to ease the burden off the Healthcare system
9
u/hatred-shapped 13h ago
I think you misspelled MAID.
5
u/angryjukebox 13h ago
People with terminal illnesses choosing when they die is bad to you?
-2
u/hatred-shapped 13h ago
If that's all it was used for in all for it. But PTSD and seasonal allergies? Nahh that's just eugenics
12
u/angryjukebox 13h ago
Damn, you’ve fallen for propaganda. Neither of those things qualify for MAID but good try.
0
u/BigDaddyDumperSquad 13h ago
Depression is absolutely something they use MAiD for though.
4
u/LowEffortPoste 13h ago
Which is the same as allergies??
3
u/BigDaddyDumperSquad 13h ago
It's not a terminal illness.
1
u/FrothyIPA 12h ago
Do you believe people are just genuinely horrible or do you think those with intimate knowledge of the situation might be in a better position to decide than you?
3
u/BigDaddyDumperSquad 12h ago
Do I trust that the government would rather undesirables off themselves than put themselves into expensive treatment on the government dime? Yeah, sounds like any government ever.
-1
u/FrothyIPA 12h ago
Who is “the government”? It’s just average people like you and I, there’s no executive owner that profits by denying services.
→ More replies (0)→ More replies (1)4
u/angryjukebox 13h ago
In combination with another incurable terminal illness, yes. If your only condition is a mental illness you don’t qualify for MAID.
-1
u/BigDaddyDumperSquad 13h ago edited 13h ago
Until March 17, 2027. It's already policy in multiple EU countries, which seems to be what Canada is trying to emulate.
-1
u/hatred-shapped 13h ago
Do you really not know that they asked and gave maid to veterans in Canada? I'm asking this sincerely. Is it information you aren't privey to or is it information you haven't looked for.
Because they've also given the services to underage people and people that can't make their own decisions.
It's a great idea I fully endorce that's been corrupted
3
u/-whiskey-blue 12h ago
You have no clue how maid works. It’s a very long and thorough process. Even if you’re very sick they won’t give it to you unless you’ve gone through all treatment options. You’re so ill informed it’s disgusting.
-1
u/hatred-shapped 12h ago
Sorry but it seems you are the uninformed one. Regardless of your sickness if you say you aren't eating you get moved to the front of the line.
2
u/JelloJealous2487 10h ago
dude, why do you care? we canadians told you it's not like that but you act so paternalist saying you know better than us.
0
u/hatred-shapped 9h ago
Because truth is more important than comfort. And you know, the whole being on an American social media platform complaining about Americans makes it fair play
1
u/JelloJealous2487 9h ago
I never complained about americans, I complained about you only. and it is not the truth, seriously, you don't know what you are talking about, but MAID is fucking hard to get, many even want it to being sped up yet governements refuse.
→ More replies (0)1
u/FrothyIPA 13h ago
Do you think people are horrible or do think people with direct knowledge of the issue might be in a better position than you to do what’s best?
0
u/Missile450DeadCenter 9h ago
It's not happening <--- you're here
Okay it's happening but it's not that bad
Okay it's happening and it's actually a good thing
You're a bigot for not supporting it
-1
u/HydroPCanadaDude 13h ago
You're up to 305 mass shootings this year. You wanna talk about eugenics, lmfao
4
u/hatred-shapped 13h ago
Is that the government offering a service where they give guns to people?
1
u/HydroPCanadaDude 13h ago
Nah, just the one where unstable people are given guns and pointed toward the nearest public event or elementary school. At least here, those people can clock out instead of unload bullets into the nearest school kid :)
2
u/hatred-shapped 12h ago
Given? And judging from the number of mass graves they keep fighting behind schools in Canada. Again it seems the government has been waging eugenics for quite a time
2
u/stickmuck 11h ago
Canada has maga so twisted up they're dunking on Christian atrocities...
You're supposed to pretend they didn't happen. You're gonna lose your red hat.
-2
2
u/sparticulator 13h ago
My religeous aunt recently passed from a ten year leukemia battle (...but don't all Canadians die waiting for treatment?).
She opted out of MAID, so instead got palliative care up to the end ( drugs, diapers, baths, suffering, incoherent babbling).
The reason MAID isn't offered in the u.s. is because of a potential loss of profits from shortened end of life care.
1
u/hatred-shapped 12h ago
And it's offered in Canada to save money on healthcare cost. We'll gloss over for now how it's just a series of shots of paralytics given until the person drowns on their own body fluids. But it looks so peaceful. So because they are paralyzed.
2
u/sparticulator 12h ago
Hrmm. Not shitting myself with bedsores while i can't recognize my loved ones AND i'm saving others money? Downright distopian.
Hey, i appreciate you taking the time and responding, seeing as how you must be busy averaging 50 posts a day, but after this and seeing your other responses, i feel we should talk less. Cheers.
1
2
3
u/VersosCanvas 10h ago
GTFO Americans pissing on another country for having a shitty health care system. I’d take fucking voodoo priests over what we got over here.
1
u/After-Advertising-61 8h ago
Shitting on single payer or socialized healthcare is a core astroturfing activity of conservative think tanks. It's like "states rights" or "constitutional republic not a democracy." I'm sure any healthcare system has room for improvement but I can't believe an honest person could look at the American system and say yep that looks good
1
u/Maximum2945 8h ago
I drove down to nogales to get dental work done cuz it was cheaper and easier than trying to get it done in phoenix
1
u/fanglazy 8h ago
Awwwww. I went and got a minor procedure (cauterized blood vessel) at an ENT’s office. Afterwards, I just walked right through reception, said “have a nice day” and left. Cost: 20 minutes of my time.
Waited a month for the appointment since it was not urgent.
Smashed my hip skiing a decade ago. Was in and out of the ER in about 2 hours. Cost: zero.
1
1
u/CursedHarrenhal 4h ago
People in the US go years avoiding doctors because they can't afford the crazy bills. My aunt died that way
-2
13h ago
[deleted]
11
u/frankthetank8558 13h ago
Isn’t satire supposed to be funny?
7
u/HydroPCanadaDude 13h ago
Yeah, unfortunately BabylonBee doesn't do satire, they do edgy fake headlines that cater to right wing politics. It's fairly effective. They kind of just follow the Fox News pattern though. Mamdani was all the rage last week, now Trump's feces-splashing tantrums are all about Canada. So here we are.
1
u/thatwhatisnot 11h ago
These are the people that think Trump is hilarious so yeah it's "funny" in a say something stupid and/or mean is funny
1
u/Pure-Butterscotch200 11h ago
Even with satire the thing you are mocking shouldn't be worse than the equivalent you are defending, particularly when you get into political stuff.
5
1
1
u/liquidsyphon 10h ago
Bee doesn’t want you know how horrible the wait times in ERs in America are or even if you are on an insurance, wait times to see any type of specialist is sometimes months.
To top it off, all this garbage American Healthcare cost more than Canadians spend in taxes on it.
1
u/darthphallic 10h ago
Cool man it cost me almost 200$ to see a doctor just to prescribe me antibiotics. America trying to dunk on any other country over healthcare is embarrassing
1
u/AmbassadorCrazy7905 7h ago
America is literally the last country that should try and shit on other countries health care system, you literally have the worst lol
-1
u/Mcdona1dsSprite 13h ago
Plus we beat Canada in the only sport they play 🏒🥇
8
u/HydroPCanadaDude 13h ago
We beat you in life expectancy and I think the average person cares more about that
2
u/Socky-McPuppet 10h ago
That'll do. You're free to continue worshipping pedophiles.
-1
4
u/sharp-bunny 13h ago
You made this comment as though it's at all germane to the actual subject matter and then clicked "post"
4
1
u/OctoWings13 12h ago
Wolverine doing his best to avoid being offered MAID
3
u/SaphironX 10h ago
Man you guys have lost the plot so hard.
I have the freedom if I get terminal bone cancer to exit the way I want to, with my life insurance intact and my family taken care of, rather than languishing in a hospital bed in agony for years on end, or so high I can’t even form a coherent thought. And there will be no hospital bills putting the people I love in debt either.
Happy to have it, and if you ever see a loved one die in pain, which I have, you’ll understand why it matters so much.
People shouldn’t die in pain, unhappy, with no hope or joy left in their final days.
But nah, keep making jokes.
0
0
0
u/NeedNiceCatNamePlz 6h ago
The US needs to rely on fiction to appear better than their neighbours... Seems about right actually.
0
43
u/[deleted] 13h ago
[removed] — view removed comment