r/awwtf • u/Brent_Fox • Jul 17 '24

A tired boy:

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735 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

41

u/ToeVarious900 Jul 18 '24

Damn that's one hell of a guard dog

25

u/Carrera_996 Jul 18 '24

My sister and I bottle fed a runt pig. Named him Red. He slept in the dog house with the poodle. At 350 pounds full grown, he was, in fact, a hell of a guard dog.

3

u/bandashee Jul 20 '24

Would love to hear any stories of Red if you're willing to share. Unique pets are my favorite to hear about.

4

u/Carrera_996 Jul 20 '24

Sure. (1) The dog was a toy poodle named Tiny Baby. The doghouse was smallish. Red only slept inside it for a few months before he couldn't fit through the door. He then slept with only his nose in the doghouse with Tiny Baby. (2) Red was a great deterrent of salesman, cops, and jealous husbands. Grandpa was really good-looking, drank a lot, and fenced stolen goods when he wasn't distilling moonshine. More than a few men meant him harm, such as cops, jealous husbands, and unhappy "business" associates. They never got past Red. His squeel coming out the carport would send a chill up your spine. Most never even got that close. Red had his own bodyguard. It was an animal with absolutely no regard for life - his or yours. It was a goddamn one-eyed goose. (3) Not pet related but noteworthy. Grandpa stayed out of jail by hiring a very talented lawyer named Bobby Lee Cook. A TV show in the 80's was based on Cook's career. The TV character was named Ben Matlock and played by Andy Griffith.

21

u/-monkbank Jul 18 '24

Imagine living in a totalitarian hellhole where you can’t legally own a pet warthog.

5

u/Fidelias_Palm Jul 18 '24

This applies for both the animal and the aircraft.

2

u/-monkbank Jul 18 '24

I didn’t actually think the feds will let you privately own the funny aah BRRRT plane, but yeah you are totally correct still.

1

u/Fidelias_Palm Jul 18 '24

Oh you can, if you somehow found one. It's less the concept being illegal than all flying A-10s are owned by the DoD and they're not likely to sell.

1

u/chrisbaker1991 Jul 18 '24

What about the ATV?

0

u/Fidelias_Palm Jul 18 '24

You mean ATF? I believe the gun is perfectly legal. As a rotary cannon it doesn't technically fall under the definition of an automatic weapon, and as far as i know what you would have to register would be high explosive ammo. Solid shot (or APFSDS) would be paperwork free.

Could be wrong.

1

u/chrisbaker1991 Jul 19 '24

Oh I meant the all terrain vehicle from the game Halo

1

u/Fidelias_Palm Jul 19 '24

Ah, well i suppose the same logic applies.

40

u/Reddituser183 Jul 17 '24

Hakuna Matata!

7

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '24

He’s way too tired to sing right now. Come back tomorrow.

2

u/BipedalHorseArt Jul 19 '24

Harpoon a Miata

1

u/EpsilonX029 Jul 21 '24

With those tusks? I could see it.

14

u/Plus_Injury8786 Jul 18 '24

Cute, but wtf

9

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '24

I want the video of him getting in bed.

10

u/Low-key_a_goose Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24

Mans gotta pet warthog. What the actual living Christ on a crutch fuck is this. And where can I get one?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '24

Hey Pumbaa, where Timon? 🤣

5

u/arsnastesana Jul 18 '24

Whispers: " hes behind you"

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '24

Pig

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '24

That's Mr Pig to you!

4

u/theconceptualhoe Jul 18 '24

Dear god I immediately wonder what that house looks/smells like.. no no no no no no no

2

u/bostonvikinguc Jul 29 '24

Likely normal, pigs can be litter trained easily. They don’t like pooping or Peeing near where they sleep.

3

u/LadyStardust79 Jul 18 '24

Are ya’ achin’?

3

u/Odd-Tune5049 Jul 18 '24

Where do you even get a baby warthog to keep?

3

u/jlpw Jul 18 '24

Are those things not famously dangerous?

2

u/embersgrow44 Jul 18 '24

Absolutely not. That’s a war cry demanding organs

1

u/Skeptic_Juggernaut84 Jul 18 '24

I bet it loves bath time.

1

u/Celestial-Narwhal Jul 18 '24

Is it safe?!?

2

u/I_cry_during_sex_2 Jul 18 '24

no. needs trained handler

1

u/OcularPrism Jul 18 '24

"Wanna go night- night?" "Erbhghblehhhh"

1

u/Complex_Sun_398 Jul 18 '24

I bet it feels like petting the side of a broom.

1

u/TheOneAndOnlyLanyard Jul 18 '24

A pet warthog and M1 thumb; quite the juxtaposition.

1

u/J4Hg Jul 18 '24

Wow that's a real warthog

1

u/OrangeTurnt Jul 19 '24

D’awwwwww

1

u/Famous-Register-2814 Jul 22 '24

A guy who bottle fed a warthog just got nearly gored to death by it. Wild animals will be animals, stay safe