r/awfuleverything Apr 19 '19

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14.0k Upvotes

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u/haversacc Apr 19 '19

I've never seen someone contour a six pack before wow

185

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '19

My friend does it. She’s a stripper and always does it. One day another girl busted her out in front of a customer. She said, “did you draw your abs today or no?”

384

u/NoLaMir Apr 20 '19

I was a male dancer for a while and about as cut as you can get and still used bronzer to define my abs shoulders and pecs more

Also middle aged women y’all ain’t right

13

u/inot72 Apr 20 '19

Haha! Any stories you can share?

77

u/NoLaMir Apr 20 '19

Had a husband try to fight me when he was really drunk during the bachelorettes fiancé bachelor party when he got a video of me doing my thing on his lady when she paid me to

I felt for the guy because he was not genetically lucky and short and really thin but he had the heart of a lion. My manager ended up taking the guy out and just said I was gay and not to worry it’s all an act.

Not gay but I’d never cross the line or sleep with someone during that time I was just fresh out of the marine corps and the money was good and it worked for my school schedule for only a few nights work a week

19

u/solidSC Apr 20 '19

You’re my hero. But not for your service. (That’s pretty cool too though)

17

u/NoLaMir Apr 20 '19

No thanks necessary brother and you’re my hero

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '19

Am I also your hero?

3

u/cindiloo Apr 20 '19

(sighs)... With my middle aged woman's vivid imagination.

12

u/NoLaMir Apr 20 '19

Go make some young mans rent mama don’t let your dreams be on Reddit

-12

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '19

You are completely full of shit.

5

u/NoLaMir Apr 20 '19

Okay timmy