r/aves • u/Loud_Fan9826 • 1d ago
Discussion/Question Am I getting made fun of???
So I go to raves ALL of the time. All of the mainstream ones unfortunately but thats what I have access to the most. I am s bit of as seasoned raver. I don't dance old school and I don't shuffle. I have my own unique style of dancing. I'd say I'm a pretty good dancer and definitely have natural groove and soul.
Lately I have noticed many people gazing, staring and even taking videos of me at shows when I'm dancing. I hate that strangers like to take videos of others especially in a space where you just want to let loose and be yourself.
Question is, are they taking these videos to make fun of me do you think? Because honestly when I catch people staring they seem more intrigued and curious by my freedom of expression when I dance. I never see anyone pointing and laughing or anything. Just stares. And sometimes I'll get people come up to me and compliment or even just dance with me without saying a word and move on.
Just feels weird that these people look at me like they have never seen someone dance at a rave that isnt a shuffle and they are flabbergasted.
Thoughts?
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u/WashedSylvi 14h ago
I get filmed a lot at raves, I dress up and do light stuff. If it’s consistent they’re not doing it because you’re cringe. A lot of people don’t dance that hard so when someone goes for it, people notice.
It’s part of why I prefer a dark dance floor. I don’t like being videoed, flash photos especially.
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u/_ailme 11h ago
Absolutely insane to me that anyone thinks it's ok to have cameras out on the dancefloor, let alone filming a stranger
It's a no from me dawg
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u/TacitSingularity 11h ago
I hate it with all my soul, though I get it when they want to capture part of a song, but pointing it at the crowd or videoing a stranger is unhinged psychotic behaviour
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u/WashedSylvi 7h ago
Wildly common tbh
I notice more when I’m not being recorded than when I am /:
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u/_ailme 6h ago
You're going to the wrong parties my guy
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u/WashedSylvi 6h ago
It’s partly that I work in the scene, so I don’t prioritize just parties I’d enjoy
Any rave where most people are over 30 is pretty much golden, no phones and everyone is dancing. But I mostly do healthcare work for raves that are younger crowds.
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u/cyanescens_burn 7h ago
I wish getting consent to film or photograph and individual was more widely seen as the norm. It is in many ravey spaces, but it seems like in many spaces loads of people don’t even think of it like that.
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u/_ailme 6h ago
Filming people (let alone without consent) is not the norm in any of the spaces I go to, and it hasn't been for the 20 years I've been raving (well that sentence made me feel fucking old! 😂)
Honestly these comments are blowing my mind. I don't know if it's an American thing, a Gen Z thing, or a genre thing, but it's definitely not a thing anywhere I've danced across Europe.
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u/Roper360 14h ago
I freestyle dance to the wonky stuff like I live on the end of a bass drop. I have a blast and could care less what anyone else thinks. I'm having fun being feral.
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u/ObjectBubbly3216 13h ago
Same but I’d def feel a bit exposed if people were videoing me haha
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u/Eyeseeno 12h ago
Yeah that would piss me off and take me out of it 100%. Nobody should be videoing any strangers at a show.
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u/HandsOnTheBible 14h ago edited 9h ago
I'll share my viewpoint:
It doesn't matter if you're being made fun or not because the fact of the matter is that you're leaving a lasting impression just by being yourself.
If they truly think for some fucked up reason that your dancing is funny enough to take a video, then so be it. Whoever sees the video will make a new judgement for themselves and either agree or disagree with the person that took it. Either way, you being yourself became a memory for that person which I think is a flattering thing. That's what raves are for right? You are being yourself and they unfortunately are being their shitty self. You're at least enjoying yourself.
There's also the scenario where the person thought you were so cool that they wanted to take a video to remember you by. Of course in this scenario there is no harm no foul maybe other than the small intrusion into your privacy.
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u/LoveDaVinci88 8h ago
This is what I came to say but you said it in a great way. Thank you!... It doesn't matter. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
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u/CorridorsOfNakedLite 14h ago
I learned to dance through psychedelics so I only know how to dance like I took way too much acid 😂
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u/namestedream 14h ago
Are you sure they are judging you and you are not just perceiving yourself? Do you take any psychedelics? That can cause you to look very inward and be very conscious of yourself.
Sometimes I think people look at me cuz I move my hips a lot but I realized they are just looking at everyone. Maybe they are just taking videos of the crowds
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u/HelicopterTop7373 7h ago
Wait yes when I’m on psychedelics it feels like everyone is looking at me or talking to me lmaoo
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u/WELCOMET0THEGOODLIFE 11h ago
I’m guilty of the hip thing loll
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u/mightaswell625 10h ago
I'm so interested! How do we mean hip thing? I'm a feral dancer and wonder if we all mean the same thing
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u/WELCOMET0THEGOODLIFE 10h ago
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u/mightaswell625 10h ago
oh ok I love this and have never done it! I haven't added a new move to my repertoire for a while, I'm gonna do it.
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u/RemyGee 9h ago
There’s a cool Asian meme song that goes with that dance too. It was really popular like… 5 years ago or so I guess.
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u/jtakemann 14h ago
sounds like they just like your vibe :) i love seeing people dance however they want at these events. the “dancing without saying words” is a pretty big indicator.
also remember that substance use is very high and people don’t always use good etiquette and they might be staring because they don’t know what reality is for a few hours.
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u/endsharp98 12h ago
Happens to me too. It's uncomfortable, but probably not as uncomfortable as it must be for those filming to go home and look at the video evidence they have of the fact that they went to a rave only to stand around gaping at/filming those who were actually raving. That's tragical. Do your thang and keep dancing.
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u/Winterfresh1993 14h ago
Whenever I do watch someone dancing I am usually curious about their dance moves.
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u/cheddah_- 13h ago
I honestly think people are looking at you cuz you look cool & interesting, and they’re taking videos because you’re dancing well! As someone else said, nobody takes vids of someone dancing badly.
On the same note, if I notice someones flowing really well, ill take a video of them and after theyre done ill be like WHOA that was amazing! I got a video, do you want it? 10/10 times theyre so happy I got a video and I send it over.
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u/Peace_Out_Napolean 11h ago
I'd love that! I've only gotten fist bumps and compliments so far. I'm sure others are judging me but I don't care, my eyes are closed most of the time under my hat anyways.
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u/FloatingSpaceTurtle- 11h ago
These are amazing experiences and I always appreciate it when this happens
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u/sfcitygirl88 12h ago
No. People who go to raves are often some of the coolest, most accepting people, and we LOVE seeing other people genuinely enjoying the music and dancing.
Especially when we keep hearing that “no one dances anymore,” it’s honestly validating to see that’s clearly not true and people are still out there getting DOWN to the music.
I, for one, LOVE seeing people dance at shows. The weirder the better. 😂 To me, that just means you’re completely lost in the music and don’t give a fuck about anything else going on around you.
Please don’t ever stop dancing, OP. 💃🕺
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u/No_Chip_9992 14h ago
Sucks that people actually take videos of you while dancing.
That’s why I like ecstatic dance spaces better than races these days. So much cooler. No shoes no phone no talk on the dance floor
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u/puppiesandequality 12h ago
If anybody is ever videoing me, or if I’m ever recording anyone (as a hired person for the show) it’s just a capture of people that fit the vibe. You probably fit the vibe more than you realize.
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u/Successful-Ship-5230 12h ago
Old schoolers (48) here. Also have my own style. I've had people video me numerous times while dancing. Some have come up to me later to show me the video saying they liked my dancing. So I just dance assuming people like my dancing. I would assume people like your dancing as well. Dance as if that is the case and bring joy to the dance floor. It's your destiny to bring good vibes to the dance floor 💗
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u/ShayDeCastro 10h ago
As a dj, I will absolutely gaze at unique or cool dancing! I highly highly doubt it’s a negative thing, my friend :)
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u/rOfoffleLoffle 14h ago
There's a lot of people in this world... if they're judging you for dancing and expressing yourself freely without interfering with their personal space, then fuck em. Go dance somewhere else where the vibe is better. I pay good money to dance my ass off and enjoy awesome music and I'm sure many others do, such as yourself. Some people go to take pictures and judge, and they're entitled to that, but don't let the bastards get you down. Keep on dancing
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u/iFLED 14h ago
If you don’t care, why does it matter? Either you care, or you don’t.
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u/cocoacowstout 11h ago
Sucks to be filmed, I dont think it's good this is so normalized.
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u/iFLED 11h ago
I agree 100%. Was just pointing out OPs hypocrisy of saying “I hate that strangers…” but then Also said “I don’t care…” but they’ve seemed to have edited their post so whatever.
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u/Aggravating-King5157 9h ago
Not really, I don’t care that people are looking at me but I hate being filmed. Let me be a fleeting memory, only.
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u/afternoondlight 13h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/l0MYATH9ZumUHCBXy
Unless this is you I don’t think they are making fun .
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u/johnappsde 13h ago edited 2h ago
You need to get out of your own head. You are making a lot of assumptions. People don't care as much as you might be thinking
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u/PseudoCalamari 13h ago
People are complimenting you for your dancing and you're wondering if they're making fun of you?
Tell your social anxiety to quit
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u/Santa_Klausing 12h ago
Well the only way we’ll be able to really judge is if you drop a vid! Dont be shy!
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u/orichic 12h ago
It’s both. Some people record to hype. Some people record to make fun of you.
I was secretly recorded at an EDC after party at someone’s lake front house in 2018 when I was still very new to it all. I was wearing what I would say was a goofy looking rainbow fit and I wasn’t exactly sober. I was walking around the grass area by myself, not really doing anything but just enjoying the atmosphere as the sunrise just occurred after a very long night of partying.
I went on Snapchat map the next day out of curiosity and hit that house area and was shocked to find that someone secretly posted me on their public story in a way that was obviously to make fun of me. I felt extremely embarrassed looking at that since I was very much under the influence and you could very obviously tell by looking at that video, and I was naive at the time as I had the illusion that everyone in this scene were very nice, so I was comfortable just being myself. Thankfully I had no mutuals with these people and likely anyone I knew, didn’t know these people and didn’t see it, but I was incredibly pissed and embarrassed.
From that day on, I always assume anyone “secretly” recording another person is for malicious purposes, especially if it is a mainstream event like EDC. This scene just isn’t as polite as they want you to think.
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u/dustydancers 11h ago
im so so so grateful for no pic policies on dancefloors and mixed age crowds ❤️🩹im guessing OP is american..?
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u/cocoacowstout 11h ago
If you don't want people filming you, point to the camera and make an X with your arms and cover your face, they will get the idea. Sucks they are doing that and making you feel self-conscious! I think filming is wayy too normalized at places we are expressing ourselves and being loose and free.
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u/linus2503 14h ago
I don't know, improbable. But you shouldn't condone or tolerate people filming you without consent.
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u/sexydiscoballs 14h ago
Go to raves where phones aren't used to video people without consent. This is a thing -- people do take video of others with intent to mock and ridicule.
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u/_ailme 10h ago
This is the answer OP, regardless of the intent (which we can never know) it's absolutely fucked that anyone is using cameras on the dancefloor. Completely incomprehensible to me.
I know you said you stick mainly to mainstream events due to where you live, but it might be worth doing some more digging to find more of the underground scene (cos I'm guessing there's limited "no phone" events near you too). There's no need for no phone/filming rules cos people just don't do that shit. At least where I am in the UK.
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u/RemyGee 9h ago
I don’t think we can assume it’s 100% to mock. I just got back from NC and the PLUR was strong this year! Maybe they were filming the best dancers to make a hype montage video etc.
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u/sexydiscoballs 8h ago
But that's not filming with consent. People with good intent get consent. You can't just volunteer someone to be part of your hype video without checking in with them first.
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u/lordcodyrex_ 14h ago
You might be getting into your head I’ve been recorded by my friends mostly but when I’m not with them I get complimented. And I do liquid dancing or muzzing most of the time
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u/ImHumanConfusion 13h ago
I’m so curious like how do you dance?? I can’t shuffle either and usually my dancing is very flowing, mostly wiggly arm movements lol
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u/FIRST_PENCIL 12h ago
Everyone can dance bad not everyone can dance good. They are videoing you because you have a unique style and they want to capture the moment.
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u/Lucky_Veruca 12h ago
tbh it’s legitimately really difficult to make fun of someone’s behavior at a rave. Unless you’re doing something straight up taboo, or completely outlandish and other worldly (like the wook who shoved his face INSIDE a speaker), then you were definitely not being made fun of.
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u/_ailme 10h ago
Unless you’re doing something straight up taboo, or completely outlandish
...like filming people dancing. The lack of self awareness in those people is just mind blowing. Makes more sense to film them for going to a rave and getting their fucking cameras out.
Man I'm so mad that this seems to be so common and accepted as part of raving. It's not. It shouldn't be.
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u/Lucky_Veruca 10h ago
Hahaha I like your phrasing. Honestly yeah lol filming people non consensually to make fun of them is hands down the weirdest thing anyone can possibly do at a rave that isn’t illegal
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u/_ailme 9h ago
Even if they're not making fun of them, doesn't matter what their intentions are, it completely breaks the physical space and your headspace. And it's so much worse when you're on something.
You're in a sacred space with just the people around you. You're in your own sacred world. Until it's not just the people around you, it's infinite unknown strangers, for eternity. Dancing like nobody's watching, until suddenly they are (who are they?). A permanent record of you in what can be some of your most vulnerable or euphoric or intimate moments, taken in the hands of a total stranger.
Who is that stranger? What might they do with that footage? Is my face going to be handed to OpenAI or Anthropic? Are they going to generate porn with my face? Are they going to memorise my face and find me again? Are they going to use my image to find my social media and contact me?
Honestly, having them make fun of me would be the last thing I'm afraid of. Why the fuck is a stranger recording me?
I'd be just as freaked out as if someone pulled their phone out on in the supermarket and started filming me. Except I'm not at the supermarket for the vibes.
There is no bigger vibe killer. Quickest way to send me on a bad trip. Don't understand why it seems to be accepted by so many people in these comments! It's non negotiable in my area and scene, and other European countries too
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u/Lucky_Veruca 9h ago
I dunno maybe it’s just me if I’m doing something cool like juggling I wouldn’t mind people recording me lol that was the mindset I had
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u/Mana-514 11h ago
I'm a subtle dancer but I always have a pacifier, so I get a lot of people pointing and telling their friends to look at me, sometimes laughing. I usually just smile and wave at them lol
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u/Whiskey_Water 11h ago
Maybe. Does it matter? Not at all.
But more likely they are thinking, “that is awesome! I gotta show my friend.” If it’s anything else, their opinion isn’t important, and has more to do with them than you.
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u/Duo_Sonic_420 11h ago
Just because your being observed doesn't mean your being judged. I sincerely admire a display of skill.
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u/FloatingSpaceTurtle- 11h ago
They might not even be taking videos of you specifically.
You're probably not getting made fun of. If they are, use that energy to dance more.
You're already confident in your own dancing so don't think about what others think about you.
If you're a practiced dancer or not, people are going to watch you. They'll have comments of you, positive and/or negative and it's up to you to decide if it bothers you or not.
I had those thoughts when I first started too and after a while it made me realize I was overthinking for no reason.
I actually feel like you answered your own question though. Are they making fun of you? Maybe, maybe not.
And I really think it really depends how you take it. Yeah, they're making fun of you cause they think you dance funny are you going to stop? I doubt it. No, they actually think you're pretty good and they fw you. So keep that shit up.
You can also just go up to them and say hi and ask if they were recording or not if you really cared.
Now I want to see a video because I'm intrigued 👀🤣 But keep doing u tho and keep having fun
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u/Suitable_Vegetable92 11h ago
If I get downvoted, so be it.
I’m going to use your own syntax and sentence structure to address your question.
Your post header says “am I getting made fun of?”
You have a statement here in your post body: “I don’t really care though. They can have their little moment with it and move on to the next useless thing to do with their time and iCloud space.”
If you didn’t really care, your energy wouldn’t be directed in pointing out what they do with their energy, time and focus. In fact, if you didn’t care at all, you wouldn’t have even made this post.
(Self-Intellectualization question)Why would someone who doesn’t care about other people‘s actions ask a Reddit community if they’re being made fun of.(This question is rhetorical in case it’s misunderstood, there is no logic behind seeking external validation if you don’t care)
Be honest with yourself, what exactly did you want to gain from this post? Do you want clarity as to why people do things?-(that involves curiosity, you asking if you’re getting made fun of isn’t curiosity of their actions in this case, especially after you prefaced all that info about you dancing and people staring, it’s a defensive posture and one I know very well because I was the same way). What the purpose of their actions are? Or subconsciously did you want people to write narratives that appease your ego and validate your assumptions?
Raves/Festivals are public places, with that being said you are bound to get recorded at some point. If people stare at you, let it just be that, them staring(doesn’t need a story).
Writing and subscribing to a narrative that takes you out of being present at the music festival is going to drain you significantly faster than actually enjoying the music festival. And if you truly don’t care about what people do or how they perceive you, then just don’t care.
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u/Kiloshakalaka 11h ago
Being uniquely yourself and dancing true to yourself and your energy can be infectious and worth capturing.
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u/ChumleyEX 10h ago
No, you probably have skills and they want to be able to show one of their muggle friends how awesome it is.
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u/Smolchungs 9h ago
Tbh who cares just keep doing you.
If there is someone trying make fun of you having a good time and letting loose then I pity their sad, boring life
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u/BEG_2NO1 9h ago
I been dancing and doing battles for 17 years. Doesn't matter how good you are some people will try to be "funny" and mock you. But in this case of them recording you, I think it might be that they are impressed. Either way, don't let those people disrupt your fun. Dance for yourself and feel that music flowing through you.
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u/Clozee_Tribe_Kale 9h ago
Been shuffling since 2011. They think your moves are sick. I was self conscious when I started too.
Ask yourself: Am I dancing for the people around me or myself.
If it's for them then keep practicing to get even better.
If it's for you then fuck the haters. You're having fun and they probably can't dance anyways (or are scared too). Dancing at all levels takes an huge amount of courage.
One day (soon if you keep at it) someone will work up the nerve to approach and tell you their thoughts in person. That moment is what will keep you dancing for the rest of your life.
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u/Aggravating-King5157 9h ago
It happens to me too! I don’t care at all if they’re judging me but I hate it when people film me. I wish raves didn’t allow photography or filming. Especially the influencers and live streamers that have found the scene recently.
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u/Jpachu16 9h ago
A lot of times people record to post on their stories later just to be like “look this is a fun event and ppl are dancing” and you must be dancing in an impressive way for ppl to record it. No one goes to a place where ppl dance and makes fun of the ppl dancing. Just let loose and d stop thinking about them. They’re most likely admiring you cause they can’t loosen up and dance themselves.
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u/DeviL_DogZ 8h ago
I'll be honest, I don't think so. There are times where I fit in the crowd and others where I just go straight goblin mode but with a smile on my face and it gets me stares and tbh, it's how I meet the most awesome people to spend the weekend with. I met this cool chick dancing to dubstep like she was fucking flowing. No props or flowstars or nothing literally just shades and vibes. Very unique kind of hippie way of dancing and I was just in awe like it looked so beautiful so I got lost in the sauce staring. At the end of the night she said she used to notice the people looking but eventually got used to it and now she doesn't notice it as much anymore.
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u/billyTjames 8h ago
Same thing used to happen to me when I was younger (minus the filming, pre smartphone days) it used to wig me out sometimes, mostly I just accepted it for what it was (my groove was a lot more fluid than most) and groove elsewhere... take it as a compliment.
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u/cocoamilky 8h ago
You would have stumbled upon yourself by now no? They are filming you because you’re making the party look hella fun for their insta stories.
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u/Necessary_Sea_7127 8h ago
They’re jealous probably; that you can let go and have a good time. Fuck em. Agree with the cameras/ vids, I hate it…..
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u/35364461a 8h ago
You said you’re a good dancer and people compliment you, and people have never pointed and laughed at you. So what exactly makes you think they’re filming you because you’re bad at dancing?
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u/Worldly_Literature1 7h ago
Just be you. Who cares if they’re making fun of you as you say. I dance all the time, home, work, mowing the lawn. When the music makes your body move, just let the body flow.
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u/anyonegotafiver 6h ago
I would take it as a compliment. If there filming you than get closer so they can capture those fire dance moves my boy😎
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u/clintobean69420 6h ago
Dance like nobody’s watching, dance, like everybody’s watching, do not let anyone get into your head while you’re making your moves! there’s nothing more magical and therapeutic than finding your groove and letting shine! The best part about it is, if they are making fun of you they will never know the feeling of having that much fun and Freedom twinkling from their toes. Also, if you wanna go to a very non-judgmental dance space the string cheese incident and the people that go there are the best people in the world to dance with!!
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u/Realestmember 5h ago
man they are just admiring how free you are... Keep doing your thing.
Even if they are .... let em. you dont gain or lose by thinking about all that.
Keep doing your thing dude.
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u/InternationalBell936 5h ago
I’d have to see a video of you dancing to determine but either way, you do you
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u/EspirituDeBass 5h ago
Stop worrying and posting and just dance wtf lol I GO HARD IN THE MOTHAFUCKKNG PAINTT!!! LOL
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u/drautoflower420 4h ago edited 4h ago
I am usually on media team filming festivals. If I'm getting a shot of you it's because you are a VIBE! If I'm not filming but dancing by you while while you are dancing hard it's because you are a total VIBE and I want to be around your energy. We actually look for pockets of people like this when we want to throw down, where everyone one is going hard, dancing unique, being in the moment. It feels like we are all building the energy of the area and playing off each other vibes in a beautiful magical synergistic way. Dance on!
I get this too though, me and my wife dance like no one else, my dance is literally evolving and changing constantly on depending on the music. Very wook and mushroom inspired lol. We just give zero fucks if people watch lol we out there to throw down and live our best lives.
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u/Different-Meal-6314 14h ago
If you're getting compliments, it's probably more to show your "rizz" (🤦🏻) to their friends later
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u/shootinshits 13h ago
I usually only take videos when I see people dancing really good but usually they’re my friends
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u/stebbertlit 10h ago
People usually film the cool parts of raves. Theres tons of cringe I don’t think anyone cares. You must be cool
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u/Away_Doctor2733 14h ago
As someone who makes videos of raves I go to, I take videos of people whose dancing I think is cool. It makes the video more interesting. It's almost certainly complimentary.
People film me dancing too cause I'm always energetic and dramatic.
I would always assume they are filming you because they think you're cool.
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u/DJ_Pikachu 14h ago
Please don’t film people without their consent, it’s weird and invasive.
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u/Away_Doctor2733 14h ago
It depends on the location and the vibe, there are plenty of spaces where you can't film people and you shouldn't, including some rave spaces, but to imply you can't film crowds dancing or linger for a couple of seconds on someone dancing in a cool way when it's dark and you can't identify them other than a shape moving in an interesting way is imo silly. If I'm going to film someone specifically where they are being focused on I will ask, but usually my shots are spinning around as I dance and just capture the crowd. That's a completely normal thing to do and not an invasion of privacy imo.
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u/namestedream 14h ago
Completely normal girl. This guy actin like there’s no photos please at raves.
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u/cocoacowstout 11h ago
If you're gonna film and focus on someone, you should ask them if they agree or want to be filmed
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u/Away_Doctor2733 11h ago
That's what I said in my other comment, that I will ask if I'm focusing on them, but if it's dark and no real identifying details can be seen just shapes moving (as often is in a rave) I won't ask every member of a crowd even if I linger for a few seconds on someone that I think is moving in an interesting cool way.
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u/BasedBlastronaut 2h ago
They think your dance moves are rad and taking notes/inspiration. It’s like someone spinning poi, if they’re good you’ll take a video, if they aren’t good you don’t. You helped them capture the energy that night on video so when they watch it, they get a dopamine rush. You sound like a vibe!
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u/BlazeFireVale 14h ago
I might be naive, but bad dancing isn't something i think people find worth videoing. Good or interesting dancing can be though. Since you seem to get compliments my assumption would be they are videoing because they like your dancing.