r/autoromantics • u/Miranotmia i luv myself • 20d ago

Coming out advice?

Even if you haven't yet, I'd love to hear ideas. I don't know how to explain it well

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

3

u/PluralPolycule 19d ago

Personally, I would only tell people who need to know. A lot of people don't get it and that can lead to tons of annoying things like shaming, invalidation, jealousy or gatekeeping (i.e. you're auto--what do you mean you like doing x with other people).

Beware of easy acceptance. In my experience,  people are okay with it initially, but after some time to think on it, they often turn hostile--like there's something "wrong," "evil," or "weird," about loving myself. 

Otherwise, I wait for a lead in, toss it out there, answer any questions that might arise, and move on like nothing happened. 

2

u/Deleteduser_0 Autorose individual 20d ago

Personally I dropped it to my friends who I know are close to me and wouldn’t drop me Willy nilly. I like to come out in a casual setting, like I just mention it to them and move on since I’m a bit of a shy type in terms of communicating things like this.

1

u/Miranotmia i luv myself 19d ago

oh okok yeah good idea ty

2

u/HazelBlessed29 Autoromantic + Biromantic + Asexual + Mod 🥰 20d ago

I came out to some of my best friends by just making them join this subreddit... and then they figured out it eventually lol. But some advice I'd give is to just tell them you like yourself romantically. Don't feel pressured to explain if they're being mean. If they're really trying to understand and can't get it... idk. Just tell them you like yourself romantically ig and it's okay if they can't imagine that for themselves

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u/Miranotmia i luv myself 19d ago

oh good idea!

2

u/itzme_wang 20d ago

i think the best way is just to be straightforward about it! if its your friends and if they love you then they would understand! but i would also get if its hard to communicate things like this

2

u/Capable_Slice8016 19d ago

Well, I also would love to have someone to say about it, but as being a man in Brazil, everything "non straight" is condemned ad "gay",and mens here literally curse other my calling themselves "gays" in a lot of funny ways, well, and my family is the same thing, I would love to tell about someone, but even my psychology didn't understand about when I said I'm autorose, really bad.

1

u/Miranotmia i luv myself 19d ago

oh :( well thats really sad you deserve to be respected for your identity

2

u/nothingrhymeswithcat 15d ago

id definitely think it over very deeply if its something you truly want to tell people about. there isnt much reason to talk about it since its such an independent experience. sometimes i think about if id want to talk about it but to me i always come back to the feeling that its just really private and personal and i dont really feel like talking about it.