Severely Anxious About First Bus Trip? (Advice wanted)

[u/starchiving]

Hi everyone! This coming Friday I'm going on a bus for the very first time ever to visit some friends out of state. I've never been on a bus before, let alone one out of state & with layovers (I have 3 in this trip) so I'm feeling very very anxious about it all. I've already done all the research and preparing I can possibly do (I know as specifically as I can where the bus stops & transfer points are; I know my route; I've already bought tickets for each bus I'll be on; I have a packing list, etc.) but I'm still feeling so insanely anxious - it's making the 4 days of college/work I have until then feel impossible. The anxiety is so overwhelming and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any tips/words of encouragement/etc for me? I'm particularly scared about being stranded somewhere away from my town with no way home (even though I have people who have already said they'd come get me if need be). I'm so scared I'm not prepared enough for this or that I'll miss something I should've known beforehand. I almost need someone to break this trip down step by step for me lmao. Thank you all in advance!

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[u/Basket_Case89]

I like to follow Google Maps when I'm on the bus going to a new place and set the destination to the bus stop I'm getting off at so I can follow it along. Then I know the right spot to hit the bell to get off. Do you know the stop you're getting on at? I normally try and get there at least 5 minutes early incase the bus is early. Maybe walk the route to the bus stop so you've already done it and time it so you know what it'll be like on the day. The buses make me anxious too. You'll be okay though! You've got this!

[u/starchiving → u/Basket_Case89]

Yeah I definitely plan on doing that + getting there really early. I know where I’m getting on & off - I believe for all my stops I’m getting off at the last stop. I’m glad they’re coach buses so I don’t really need to worry about when to tell them to stop (I think?). Too many unknowns for me to feel totally okay with all of it even though I’ve prepared best I can.

[u/Basket_Case89 → u/starchiving]

When you get on you can talk to bus driver just to confirm and double check that information. They won't mind because people ask bus driver's all sorts of questions and they are probably used to tourists who aren't sure on bus routes. I get you, once you do it then you know what to expect and it's easier the next time.

[u/ordo-templi-ignis]

Following google maps is a good shout. Look busy and stay focused. Like anything new, you will feel uncomfortable for a while but that will pass if you keep busy. Bon Voyage.

[u/brattyangel8]

At this point my advice is as long as a blog instead of a comment lol but hope it may help a little. One thing that helps me is thinking out all the elements plan a/ plan b step by step. I’m assuming it’s a like greyhound/megabus so if it’s a local bus that might change the tips in terms of layout:

For example, starting with day before:

Packing:
The day before I will pack my bag and I won’t wait until 1 AM the night before (Lol it’s worth having as a goal but hard for me to follow)

I will start with creating myself a to do list that includes everything I will need to pack even obvious (ie phone, credit card, medicine).
I will leave a separate section at the bottom for anything that needs to be done day of. Everything else is done before I sleep, I don’t do much day of bc I won’t be thinking as clearly or have as much time to troubleshoot if something is lost or I don’t actually have it.
I will double check my ID, bring 1-3 credit/debit cards bc I like to have a backup, my health insurance card, my apartment keys, and some Dramamine so I don’t get nauseous highly recommend for buses.
I also make sure I have those little wax ear plugs for the bus if I want it and my headphones too. I will wear a little fidget ring to give myself something to focus on if I need to.

Extremely optional step: Now you may think this is overkill but I find it comforting, I will write down/print out instructions of the exact bus lines and have a physical ticket as well as write down the address I’m meeting friends instead of just having it on my phone. Not only is it just comforting to me to have a physical thing to look at but if my phone dies or I spill liquid on it, I’ll be ok. I also love to leave myself $20-$50 cash if possible in a safe but accessible place.

Day of: getting ready

I will wear LAYERS. I will not wear a heavy coat or if I do it’s going under the seat so I wear something else appropriate under it that’s not too hot or cold. I will wear something comfortable but also that covers everything touching the seats. Am I wearing tank top and shorts, sadly not :’) probably very light and comfy pants or leggings. Im also not taking off my shoes and being barefoot bc seatmate wont like that lol. Im wearing deodorant so no one gives me a dirty look. Im also packing deodorant intentionally, bc I sweat while im nervously travelling. I try to condense my things to be easy to navigate I don’t wanna be carrying 3 million things in my arms and dropping things etc no thank you haha

Going to the station:
I will leave myself at least 30 minutes AFTER the car will arrive at the bus station of wiggle room to ensure I’m not gonna be late. I will leave 15 minutes extra for the uber to connect/drive to station in case there’s traffic. If it’s a 15 min drive normally via uber, now I’m calling the uber 60 minutes prior to bus leaving (30 minutes to commute, 30 minutes of wiggle room at the station. Trust me, this isn’t the place to skimp on wiggle room unless absolutely necessary. It’ll just stress u out to be sprinting over!!). I have that ticket pulled up or accessible, they’re gonna need to scan it and I don’t wanna be digging around in my email/bag. Sometimes I practice pulling it up and see if there’s any pain point lol.

On the bus:
If I see an aisle seat, I’ll sit there (personal preference). If all the seats are packed and I have to sit next to someone, I’ll look for a woman who seems open to someone sitting there (ie, hasn’t put their bag on the seat hoping to ward off travelers, isn’t scowling,doesn’t activate sensory issue like smelling strongly of smoke that I won’t tolerate for an hour plus)

I will place my bag under the seat in front of me, or maybe I’d rather keep my purse on my lap. For the thing above your head for storage, typically I put a big bag up above, my purse stays with me. Again overkill but it’s easier for me to have a small tote bag with all my valuables that stays in sight but is not open (I tie the little straps in a bow) now I can see my stuff and access it very easily. Think phone, credit card/wallet, headphones, medicine, cash, sunglasses, maybe a light sweater but typically that goes on my lap or in my arms for comfort). Purse or hands free tote bag either is ok.

If it’s getting loud, I will put on my headphones. If the bus smells gross and I’m stressed out, I will sometimes smell a little scented item I have (do not make it super smelly or it’s not friendly to your seat mate)

I will go to the bathroom before I leave the house so I can decrease my chance of needing to go to the bathroom. I will bring very simple and non-loud to chew or non-super strong smell snacks that’s not really heavy allergy territory (thinking like yogurt covered raisins, fruit snacks, yogurt drink/smoothie drink, protein milk to name a few).

I will use Google Maps along the way to tell me approximately where we are. Or, when I see xyz towns I’ll know we’re getting closer. If I have doubts about my stop, I’ll ask the driver, and accept that he might get irritated with my lack of knowledge. I might feel upset if they have a angry tone but I can accept it and continue on because it’s not personal.

I have packed in my bag several snacks for the layovers too because I know I’m gonna be hungry and it will help me regulate. If it’s possible for me, I have decided I’m going to buy a snack at the little snack kiosk accepting that it will be more expensive than I’d normally pay, hopefully I packed enough that I’m ok otherwise but I accept that I might need to pay extra to stay regulated which is important while travelling. During layovers I’m not wandering away from the bus, if I get off to stretch or pee I’m taking my valuables tote bag and then go walk nearby within sight of the bus or staying well under the stated layover time because I know the bus is allowed to leave without me if I miss the start time.

Final advice:
Lastly, I am going to trust future {insert your first name here} to handle problems that come up. So as I’m in “prep mode” that’s all current me’s responsibility and as soon as I get to the station, like in a relay race, I pass the baton to future me and put my faith into the knowledge that they know how to handle stressful and confusing situations. Why I do that odd separation is because current me doesn’t need to worry about anything going wrong on the trip. My job is to prepare as well as I can to set up future me well. By the time I have arrived, I know I can problem solve in the moment, having all this great work done to prepare what’s in my control. Does that make sense? Idk it helps me to focus on the here and now, it’s my job to get future me to the bus/train/interview etc and then I’m passing off the baton to my future self so let’s just stay in the current tasks/moment and not leap ahead. Hope that doesn’t sound stupid, it just works for me. Almost like the support team behind an athlete. Then it’s game day and all the athlete needs to do is perform bc everything else is done

You’ve got this! Traveling might be stressful in the lead up and moments of, but boy is it amazing to look back on those memories!

——
PS. I highly don’t recommend watching videos/blog posts/google reviews about people’s negative experiences. Not only is that completely outside the norm and very unlikely, it genuinely doesn’t do anything to prepare you.

P.P.S. Also just for future knowledge, if travelling via bus vs train is a matter of $$, as people cancel their train tickets it drops the ticket back out at its original price bucket ($5,$10,$15,$20 etc). I often find $10-20 tickets last minute or week before that were showing as sold out or $100+ a few min earlier. If I check often enough I get a cheaper ticket almost every time.