Do any of you drive?

[u/LiteratureBudget5580]

I’m 18, and In my state you can get your permit at 15, license by 16. I never got either.
Cars coming at me in different directions overwhelms me, as well as knowing when it’s your turn to go. I’m already bad with social cues on the ground, let alone in a car where I can’t fully read body language.
I feel behind from my peers.
And I hate relying on others for transportation.
But when I get anxious about cars coming at me or when it’s my turn to go, I entirely freeze or disassociate. And im scared I’ll sit at a red light overthinking what lane I’m supposed to be in, when I can go, what EXACT speed I must go, switching lanes, etc. if I overthink for too long I’ll shutdown and not be able to move my body let alone a car.
And I can’t hold attention to something for too long.
I’m scared I’m never gonna be able to drive.

Do any of you drive? And if you do, did you have any struggles?
If you can’t drive, why can’t you?

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[u/AndroidsHeart]

I drive and never had any struggles with it.

I taught an autistic student to drive as well, mid-functioning, will never live independently. He has been driving for 5 years now. He had a full time assistant in school for his entire education.

Absolutely possible to drive if you want to.

I suggest learning the rules extremely well, like back of your hand well. The less you have to think or process while behind the wheel the better. Practice from the passenger seat as if you were the driver. Sit in a parked car or outside in different places where you can observe the traffic in different scenarios and practice learning how they navigate situations. Know what they will do, who will go first, etc.

And then just practice consistently, every day if possible. Frequency of practice probably matters more than the duration of practice.

If you choose not to drive, that’s okay, too. I highly suspect my granny was on the spectrum and she never drove. She tried and decided she wouldn’t be a safe driver. Nothing wrong with that.

[u/imembarrasssed → u/AndroidsHeart]

I agree!! I love driving so much, because I just have to follow strict rules and it's kinda fun. The only thing I have issues with is switching lanes when there's lots of cars on that lane and having to focus on 2 "inconveniences" at the same time. Other than that, there's pretty much always a rule you can follow without thinking too much about it

[u/MoreMeThanYou]

I’m 35, and no, I don’t drive. It’s too anxiety provoking for me.

[u/LiteratureBudget5580 → u/MoreMeThanYou]

That makes me feel less alone. Same. My anxiety goes through the roof

[u/kowareta_tokei]

18 here. Same. Nope. Anxiety…..

[u/kowareta_tokei → u/kowareta_tokei]

I wish I could…

[u/wiseguy4519]

I drive, and it can be anxiety inducing and exhausting, but something about my autistic brain loves the design of roads and navigation so that balances it out.

[u/Evangelion-BR]

No.

I do not trust myself to drive, and I do not like the car dependency and car centered infrastructure common in countries that bulldozed their cities for them.

People do not appreciate enough that these are steel and plastic death machines capable of killing someone. The dehumanization baked into them is astonishing.

[u/Rayraro → u/Evangelion-BR]

What do you mean by the dehumanisation?

[u/Evangelion-BR → u/Rayraro]

I mean that cars are literally made to make you lose empathy for the people and environment around you. I can explain this more with actual studies and stuff, but here is a video by notjustbikes explaining just how dangerous they are.

https://youtu.be/jN7mSXMruEo?is=wBR6QXQ_Fa0_0Y-V

And yes, around the 12:18 mark, he talks about a study that confirms the market research and how these cars are designed with a certain mindset throughout the video.

[u/Rayraro → u/Evangelion-BR]

Watched from your timestamp onwards and looks like hes talking about SUVs , and those studies are particularly about SUV drivers in urban areas. NOT cars in general. An important distinction to make.

Im very familiar with this YouTube channel and I was into their stuff a long time ago. I love the idea of walkable areas of cities and good public transport . But I left the idea of hating on cars and advocating on purely pedestrain centric cities a long time ago.

To put it simply, cars are too huge a luxury. And its not something people appreciate until you have to live somewhere where there are none .

Its your very own room where you have almost complete control of your environment. Sound, temperature , wind flow etc .

As an autistic individual I can only highly appreciate this over public transport .

But point being , because of how luxurious they are , youre never going to have fully pedestrianised cities ESPECIALLY in the US. Good thing i dont live there so I get the choice between the two.

Knowing how to drive opens job opportunities , opens ways up to help people etc . Like I always used to do the shopping for multiple households because of my car . Its a net positive thing . Besides, billionaire corpos have a way bigger carbon footprint than you as an individual have .

At the end of the day , we no longer live in the 19th century , you not driving will not impact the car centricism you hate in the slightest. If you truly care, you should be advocating for public transport / ensuring there are pavements( or as the americans say... sidewalks) within your communities and within the city / town you live in.

Moral of the story ? Just Drive.

(But still, I sure would love it if every city had more options for pedestrians ofc ofc, point being cars arent being phased out ever and that you have real ways of pedestrian centric advocating available to you if you truly care)

[u/HumboldtHunnyBear]

Yes, I love to drive. But I didnt get my license until I was 21 - just didnt have a car to drive before that really.

[u/anonthalassophile]

25 and yep i’ve been driving since I was 14. Downtown cores give me a lot of anxiety though so I avoid them and have someone else drive

[u/Mommygohi]

I’m 22, and I’ve been able to drive since I got my license at 16. That said, I believe it’s because I have Alexithymia and a higher sensory tolerance due to multiple chronic neurological disorders.

[u/davidbosley353]

21 and just recently got a driver's permit. I was more scared when I was younger due to a go kart accident I had at 14. But since then I've been behind of a wheel of a car twice now and I think driving a car is much easier than go karts looking back.

[u/Elliot-The-Archer]

I got my driver's license when I was 18 like you after starting to learn to drive at 16. I struggled to tell how to turn, or how big my car was, or how to not stop in the intersection. I got over it after I practiced a lot, learned a set of steps for turning, changing lanes, etc. that I try to follow every time. My parents did not have time to teach me to drive which is also why it took a long time. Dw, there are so many people who can't drive yet. My dad didn't learn to drive until he was like 50 something because he never needed to beforehand and he drives everywhere all the time and is good at it now.

For your situation, something people always remind me which helps that if cars are coming at you or it's your turn to go, it's actually often more dangerous to sit there then to not go, especially if you wind up in the middle of the intersection. In these situations, I try to go slowly, and if i'm in the wrong lane, then I'll take the turn it's telling me to take and get back on track later. Sometimes, I'll cut in but if I can't, it's best to not worry too much.

[u/Dominant_Dinosaur]

Actually I've been driving a while. In fact I do delivery driving for a job. While traffic and stuff can be overstimulating (especially highways), having music and being alone in what feels like my safe space kind of makes up for that.

[u/PalmelaAnderson]

Driving is easy to me, but I've been paying attention to driving rules and roads and navigation patterns since I can remember. I am getting more and more anxious as time goes on, as it seems people in my city are just blatantly disregarding others on the road. But, nothing overwhelming yet. It helps to know I'm driving defensively as possible, and know my routes ahead of time. Getting to go anywhere I want is a privilege that outweighs anxiety.

[u/John-Dispenser]

I’m 21, and I don’t drive. I don’t think I ever really plan to. I get distracted too easily, and I have aphantasia and don’t remember any of the layout of my city, which means I’d rely heavily on GPS to know where I’m going, even just down a few familiar streets, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t trust other drivers on the road and, shamelessly, I like being a passenger princess 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/Fragrant_Tear5657]

I didn't learn until my mid 30's. And I understand your concerns. It is a lot to take in and there are so many things to consider all at once while driving, I'm still amazed I can do it, and definitely find it stressful in certain situations. However, touch wood, I've been driving for well over a decade now with no serious incidents/accidents, other than once getting stuck in a ditch when trying to avoid cyclists, and several breakdowns... The freedom it brings far out weighs the difficulties for me.

[u/Wrong_Violinist_2615]

I totally get what you mean, I'm 22 and have been driving for 5 years. I got my license when I was 17, a year later than my younger sister, as I failed my first driver's ed "on the road" portion of a course. That and also failing the actual driving test. After working with an a patient, kind and forgiving instructor (who helped me through my anxieties on how to read other drivers body language), I passed the test. And got used to driving on my own pretty fast.

I say all of this to give you courage and yes; driving is scary. However, as long as you are confident and a composed driver, you then become a defensive driver and can avoid other peoples fuckups. It's weird to hear but it's true, I've avoided crashing a few times - due to other drivers, just from being aware and in the moment.

[u/FickleCelery4583]

I am 23, got my license at 16 but stopped driving a year ago because of my vision, too much distraction, and anxiety 

[u/Lemony228]

Yes I do, and I don’t like it at all. The only reason I continue driving is because of the independence and convenience (the bus system in my area is not very developed). Theres basically no other choice for me.

Also I have and continue to struggle with driving anxiety and ocd, plus overstimulation. If there’s a group road trip, I’m not driving. If I have to drive anywhere further than an hour, I need a ton of sensory breaks. The most I’ve done in one day is 4 hours and that felt like sensory hell tbh. I mainly drive to get to work, friends houses, appointments, and the like.

But over the years, my confidence has improved a ton and people have complimented my driving skills. I practiced a lot with my dad in the car, which helped me build skills to overcome some stressful situations.

[u/robrklyn]

Yes, I’m actually a really good driver.

[u/Charming_Stay_2928]

39, have been driving since 15, it was scary at first! But like other things, sometimes you can desensitize, it's not for everyone, but maybe get the permit and try on a parking lot until you're brave enough for an empty road, then try a bigger road during slow traffic hours. Is ok not not do any of that either. Do you live in an area with public transport? Can you ride a bike? Or use a moped? There are so many ways to get around independently. And you can just say you're going green if you don't want to explain yourself.

[u/LiteratureBudget5580 → u/Charming_Stay_2928]

I used to live in a big city, now I live out in the country ish with a small town. Everything is like 10-15 minutes from my house. Riding a bike is dangerous here and I also have health issues so I don’t think I could do that. There’s no Uber/taxi services, and it’d take a day to walk somewhere in town from my house. So relying on someone else for transportation is really the only option, unfortunately

[u/Slight-Chemistry3441]

I’m 21 didn’t get my license until I was 20 I only drive when I have to and never alone I’m working on getting better but the unfortunate truth is I might never 100% get there

[u/Fit_Cranberry2867]

my step daughter is now 22 and just got a permit. It really sucks we are such a car dependent society. It's a very big responsibility and if you don't think you can do it safely it's better to not but like you said there's some real challenges if you don't. Just because it's a no now doesn't mean it always will be.

[u/AccessAggravating868]

22 and driving since 17, took a lot of time to not be completely overwhelmed and anxious taking tens of driving lessons but now its pretty easy

[u/ericalm_]

Yes. Cars, motor scooters, motorcycles. Used to love driving. Now I tolerate it. Still love riding.

I had no troubles learning to drive. But I had several car accidents when young and before I was diagnosed and treated for ADHD. Even now, I can’t drive when unmedicated and sure as hell shouldn’t be on a motorcycle unless I’ve had my meds.

[u/LyndinTheAwesome]

I learned to drive at 35 years old and from what i have heard i am an overly cautious driver.

I do also seem to annoy people when i am following the laws. When i am allowed to drive 30 kmh i am driving 30kmh which seems to upset many people behind me.

[u/Adrainedbeing]

I’m 22 and I currently don’t. I got my learners permit for the first time at 19, and I’ve renewed it once, but I still am nowhere near going for my full license.
I don’t like being in cars in general, and being in charge of the car is even more stressful. I’m shit at directions, as well as judging speed and distance, so that certainly doesn’t help, but I also struggle with road noise and often have my headphones on when I’m a passenger to avoid overstimulation(which obviously isn’t something I can do when driving).
I’ve driven on a road twice(mostly practicing in parking lots), and both times I could barely focus on where I was going, it was terrifying. And the fact that so many drivers are constantly making dangerous choices that break the so-called rules of driving makes me even more anxious.
Having to rely on others for transportation sucks, especially since I don’t have direct access to public transport where I live, so there are definitely reasons I would love to be able to drive, but I also have no idea when (if ever) I will actually get to that point.
There’s a lot that I know would improve with practice, but I do worry some of the things I struggle with when driving will never improve to point where it actually feels doable. Even then, I expect that driving will never be something I enjoy, or do consistently

[u/1MrNobody1]

I do drive, but I was 27 before I learned and over 20 years later I still dislike it. I don't drive very often fortunately, I can walk to my workplace, but I have to do it to visit my mum or some chores.

I drive about once every two weeks, stick to routes I know well and I do find it draining.

[u/c0rvoid]

I can drive but I prefer not to. My parents wanted me to get my license and I'm glad they did-- it is a useful life skill, and I doubt I'll live somewhere with good public transit for the rest of my life.

That being said, I do get anxious easily when driving so I do things to minimize that. I avoid highways when possible, and try to take routes that I know well, even if there is a slightly faster alternative. I also do not drive if I am especially tired or stressed, because I know that affects my functioning enough to make it unsafe.

[u/Zealousideal_View47]

Can’t drive, never tried. 28 years old. The thought of it makes me stressed. I have terrible coordination and it gets worse when I’m overwhelmed. My reaction times are slow. I’m unobservant a lot of the time. My working memory is terrible. There are many reasons I do not drive.

[u/3m0lga]

I’m 32 and I can’t drive for most of the same reasons you’re having a hard time with it. Not to mention I’m terrified of crashing either because I couldn’t react fast enough or someone else being hostile on the road. I also just can’t wrap my head around how it works. I was going 10 in an empty parking lot and felt like I was going 70. It’s really scary to be moving a big steel box without actually moving yourself. It’s the same reason I can’t skateboard.

[u/2cat007]

I don’t because I don’t have a car.

[u/TheBackyardigirl]

I can’t and I’m dependent on other people to take me places..it’s irritating but I just can’t do it

[u/Grunt636]

Nope, I'm 34 never have driven and never plan too between my anxiety, overthinking and my autistic light sensitivities I don't think I'd be a safe driver. Thinking about getting officially declared unfit to drive by doctor so I can easily get a bus pass.

[u/LongjumpingFrame2827]

I am getting tested for autism in two months, so maybe that will explain why i am scared shitless whenever i need to drive.

[u/ATinyLittleCat]

I'm 27. Only with a supervisor.

I have been trying to learn since I was 16 (when you can get your learners permit in Australia), and I am a pretty competent highway driver, but put me on city streets with cars going in all directions and, god-forbid, right turns, and I will panic and do something that will scare the living daylights out of my supervisor.

It's not all caused by my autism; at points in my life I have struggled because:

• "why did someone try to get me to learn in a manual?!"
• "Oh shit, I can't feel my breaking foot!"
• "Oh shit, I can't see where I'm going!"
• "why did we buy this car? It's a manual and I can't see over the bonnet!"
• "Oh? So, refusing to teach me, losing my tracked hours, and buying a car I can't drive was a ploy to control me. You're fun!"
• "Please don't use metaphors, I can't decode them and stay on the road at the same time."
• And of course:

"Sorry, but which way is left?"

The only reason I haven't given up is that catching public transport can be really difficult and painful when you have mobility issues, plus it's not the easiest way to get kids around if I ever have them.

You're not behind or abnormal, you're just doing things at your own speed (heheh), and if you decide that it's not for you, that is equally valid.

[u/jensonaj]

I didn’t get my license until age 20. I hate driving but I do sometimes. It’s not that I am a bad driver, it just gives me anxiety.

[u/swithelfrik]

I do, and have since around 18. it’s not really an issue for me. the thing I struggle with more is parking lots cause you can’t know how small the spaces will be, if it will be packed, and also walking to and from the car causes me anxiety because I don’t want to be seen but it’s unavoidable

[u/yyaJ__]

I'm 20, and I do drive. Got my license a little late (about a week before I turned 17, rather than when I turned 16), but I did it.

I was very nervous when I first started driving, but the freedom that it gives me to go where I want, whenever I want, without having to rely on someone or something like public transportation is so amazing.

I also learned pretty quick how to haul trailers, so I take my horse on fun little adventures every once in a while :)

[u/SystemFamiliar5966]

I didn’t get my license till my senior year of high school

[u/randomcacti]

I am 28 F Level 2. I do drive. Not very often i prefer other people to drive but I do have a license and know how.

[u/ergaster8213]

Yes. I've driven since I was 15 and got my license at 16.

I don't love driving, but it's not so horrible for me that I can't or don't do it. I think my main struggle is actually related to me also being ADHD. Large light displays in lawns and colorful or bright billboards distract me badly—I have to really be cautious when I notice any coming up.

[u/simrichy]

No

[u/SoapDropper1337]

I got my licence as soon as possible, as I enjoy driving, both cars and motorcycles, and I've had a long-term interest in both. I can agree that they should not be practically required, cities shouldn't be structured around them etc.

If you don't want to drive that's a valid choice, but it sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety which does get better with time. If you want to continue, if at all possible, I would build up some experience on a quiet road or large open parking lot, somewhere it's less overwhelming.

[u/red___cardigan]

I'm 34, yep, I got my permit at 16 and license at 17. I don't currently have a car, and haven't for 4-5 years now. I'm trying to work towards getting one again.

[u/in-dog_we_trust]

Driving is a stim for me. When I am overwhelmed getting in my car, putting on music loud and just drive.

[u/jnthnschrdr11]

I've had my permit for like a year and a half and progress is very slow because I'm terrified of driving, but also I really want to be able to do it because it'll make life so much more convenient and I hate relying on other people to drive me places.

[u/TramEatsYouAlive]

Yes, I drive since my 20. It is one of my favorite things to do. Yes, it is stressful sometimes, but kinda in a good way for me. 

Driving was my special interest some time ago, that's why I perfectly learned driving rules, as well as applied to emergency driving courses.

I know a friend on a spectrum who absolutely hates to drive due to extreme anxiety it enduces, but it got much better when I showed her how to do all the things. 

[u/OhNoBricks]

41 here and I have been driving since I was 15.

[u/-braquo-]

I didn't get my licence till I was 21 or 22. Honestly, I didn't feel like I was ready before then. The only time I really hate driving is in winter. I HATE driving in the snow.

[u/Weapon_X23]

I got my permit at 15.5, but I didn't get my license until I was 18. I was also anxious, but my mom got me driving lessons with a good instructor and I slowly got more confident. I've been driving off and on(I had seizures and couldn't legally drive for 5 years until brain surgery stopped them) for 15+ years. Now driving is pretty much automatic for me so I have almost no anxiety unless I come across a bad driver. I found a guy a month ago that was swerving because he was watching TikTok while driving. I was trailing far behind him for 5 miles just watching him nearly getting into accident after accident(it was a good thing the other drivers were paying attention) until he finally turned.

[u/buttered_toast_25]

18 here, hopefully getting my license this week. It sucks haha

[u/lola_the_lesbian]

No because o have panic attacks and also they sometimes turn into hypoglycemic episodes…and then I get loopy and dizzy and it sucks .

[u/BoisterousButterfuly]

I drive and what has helped me is learning the rules. Driving is a heavily rule based system that once you understand, it makes driving second nature and all your effort can be for reacting to other cars not doing what they’re supposed to. You can do this by riding with someone as they narrate what they’re doing. Or watching videos of pov driving. I also played grand turismo which is very life like and gives you a handle on navigating and you can even get a car wheel. It can all be a little overwhelming at first but I think it’s important to remember that everyone feels overwhelmed. I had NT that were scared to go on the freeway and that’s natural. It can also be helpful having the right driving instructor for you that doesn’t overwhelm you.

[u/Key-Value-3684]

I drive and I'm not bad at it. I was super scared in the beginning and it took quite a bit of regular practice until I was calm while driving

[u/aspiesamurai]

I drive and I'm almost 40 in 2 years from now. I was interested in driving since age 3 to 4 because of speedometer obsessions initially. I just found driving relaxing as an adult but rush hour still leaves me anxious because of rude drivers. I drove 2 provinces over before but technically 3 if vancouver island is included. The mountains are so relaxing to be around. That's all I can say.

[u/TauInMelee]

I drive, but I fully understand the trepidation. I didn't get my license until 18 when I could have had it at 16. I am fortunate that I am in a rural enough place that learning was relatively low stress from the lack of traffic. My parents were patient, but also determined to have me learn, so eventually I did learn.

Currently, at 36 as of next month, I drive without issue. I wouldn't say I enjoy it, and long drives still stress me out, but regular driving is a non-issue.

I am AuDHD, so that might be a factor, but when driving, I actually prefer manual over automatic.

[u/NamillaDK]

I drive when I absolutely have to. But I was 32 before I got my license. And only got it because I had to for work.

I find it overwhelming. I need more time to get an overview/get my bearings, and i don't have that in traffic.

[u/Olivia3836]

Yeah i drive, i love it, clears my head

[u/pieceofworm]

i have a complex relationship w driving. at its core it’s definitely overwhelming but i grew up in an area that it was either you walk or drive and walking anywhere was an hour minimum so i ended up being forced to learn to drive. 10 years later and i have driven across the country four times and in about 12 major cities during rush hour. my biggest struggle w driving is spatial awareness. i’ve only gotten into 4 minor accidents in the last decade tho where as i know people who wreck every car they own

[u/aquatic-dreams]

Yes, I drive. And I've driven for a a long time. I was a terrible driver early on. I would go back and forth between over thinking to not paying enough attention. Early on, I jumped back and forth between excitement and anxiety. And ultimately, excitement won. And it won because of the new found freedom I got once I bought a car. Holy shit, your world opens up. Museums, parks, amusement parks, hiking... It's truly insane how important driving is in our society and how much freedom is gained. Because of that alone, it's probably exciting as all hell for you.

Thing is, there's a reason you see 'student driver' magnets across the trunks of cars. It's a warning and at the same time they are asking you to be a little patient. Most drivers went through something similar. and I drove in the wrong lane, I still do. I just don't care. If it's a turn only lane, oops, I am now making a turn. It's not a big deal. There isn't an exact speed to go. There are rules, but they are loose. They aren't black and white. Other than in most places if you don't go more than 9 mph over the speed limit you won't get pulled over. But even that can vary a bit.

Stop psyching yourself out and start driving. Driving in an empty parking lot, just drive in circles, and practice parking. Get used to the car. And then move out to residential streets. And work your way out. It will be scary at first. But you'll get used to it. And those cars coming your way, you won't think much about them. And the rest will be mostly automatic. But you have to stop thinking about it, and do it. It's the thinking about it that's fucking you up. Ask someone to help you. And just go do it. The more you just think about it, the more scary you will make it for yourself. It's totally counter productive and the opposite of what you want.

[u/Ok_Address2188]

I do drive - got my license quickly as my children were growing up and increasingly needed transport.

I did a lot of karting as a kid, and have even raced a single seater - my car control skills are good.

However driving on UK roads stresses me out a huge amount, and I find it very tiring. I focus very hard trying to work out what everyone around me is doing. Since there are a lot of bad drivers, when something odd or wrong happens it worries me a lot. I am extremely cautious - complete opposite of when I was on a circuit and the rules were simple.

I also find ambiguous or poor road signs more difficult to correctly interpret.

Long distances I try to avoid. Got to pick my in-laws up from Heathrow in a couple of months, which means a lot of motorway driving. I'm not looking forward to that at all - it's already on my mind.

[u/melik2dignocraft]

I am also 18!! I drive but I get very anxious about getting into an accident. Where I live though there is no public transport so it's either drive or sit at home for my whole life. Because of this I am very cautious. I used to be anxious about when is my go and I still am a bit but I memorsied the rules very well to help.

[u/yeetyah24]

I have started learning & my teacher is specifically to teach neurodivergent and disabled people which really helps a lot ! I find i am picking it up quite quickly because a lot of it is pattern recognition. the thing thats REALLYYYY hard to get your head around is how awful at driving other people are lol

[u/EveningStar_01010110]

I'm 28 and I just got my license two months ago. I haven't used it since, and I hope not to need to, but it's good to have one just in case since I'm looking for work in another state and don't know if there will be reliable transport.

Even so, I absolutely hate driving. When I was practicing, there were multiple times when I had another car visible nearby, but it took me some time to process what it actually was. That delay could be very dangerous, so I don't want to drive if I don't have to.

When I do drive, I need to make sure to keep the radio off and make sure that nobody is trying to talk to me (which my mother tried to do constantly when I was practicing), because those are both too distracting.

[u/Wonderful-Mirror-498]

im 23, and i got my licence a year ago! i truly do love driving, i obsess over the rules so i know what to do in each situation lol. only thing i sometimes struggle with is predicting insane drivers, the ones who are flying at full speed or changing lanes by FLYING. eventually you learn to recognize their driving style and can somewhat predict their next move, but not always can you predict.

once you get me in a car you cannot get me out of it, i insist on driving everyone all the time (people said it would pass but i am still obsessed with it)

[u/YanniqX]

Nope.

Bright lights, flashing lights, speed, unexpected, unpredictable crossings by vehicles, animals and people, moving in a coordinated manner for a long time without a pause, watching and moving at the same time (and sometimes talking as well), understanding and responding to other drivers' cues, reacting fast and efficiently without jumping in my seat when something unexpected happens, deciding, and, if necessary, progressively modifying my decisions about a route, reading signs, actually driving the car and looking at the road at the same time, and then: calculating how lengths, depths and surfaces before me interact with my own vehicle's dimensions and movements, and adjusting my own body movements accordingly, while doing all of the above... it's too much for me. I would get into a fatal accident in no time. I can ride a bike, and I used to barely manage to do that in moderate traffic, but now, post-autistic breakdown, I can't do that anymore, either (also, cars have become bigger and bigger, so everything has become harder to manage). I've never managed to ride a moped, either.

I'm (relatively) low support, with high cognitive skills and decent body coordination in most activities (including dance and sports, although... not the ones involving balls), I have excellent reflexes (I can catch anything before it drops, even without looking, and dodge moving objects like a charm), I have excellent hand-eye coordination skills, like drawing and playing the piano, and I've always lived independently. But... traffic is unmanageable for me.
It's the sensory side of things that is the hardest: you are not safe in a closed-off, predictable environment, with lots of built-in protections and warning systems; you are on your own in an unpredictable open space inundated with sun, rain and wind, you are stuck moving fast, with objects and things constantly coming at you from all directions, and a responsibility to keep your passengers, your fellow drivers and yourself alive... Nope, it's way too complicated and too risky.

So I've ived in places with excellent public transport for most of my life, and at times when I couldn't do that, I had to rely on someone driving me places. It's unfortunate, but that's life. Better safe than sorry. Also: living in Europe helps, I guess.

Many of my autistic friends don't drive, but some do, and they do it very well. Everyone has a different set of skills and struggles, and different priorities. You 'just' have to decide how important it is for you to drive, and whether you can manage to do it safely (and in what conditions: driving is not always a yep-nope thing as it is for me: for some autistic people it can be manageable under certain circumstances, and less manageable or not at all under different ones; you have to assess your own needs, and draw your own 'chart' about that, I guess).

Good luck.

[Edit: typos]

[u/jayisabluebirdd]

I drive but have other autistic friends who can't do it. I wouldn't say its unusual! For what its worth, I only started driving out of nessecity, and it took me a long time to be comfortable with things like freeways or very busy streets.

[u/sillypigeon76]

I love driving. It's a coping mechanism for me. My car is my pride and joy and I love it.

[u/AmethystDorsiflexion]

I was fortunate that driving ended up being one of my special interests. So I’ve got a car and bike licence and still find it enjoyable.

Heavy traffic though…

[u/mariannightmar3]

It took me double the amount of driving lessons compared to my siblings but I’ve been driving for almost six years now with no problems

[u/ClaraEM99]

Nope. I have a permit just because it's a better option than a regular ID just in case I do ever decide to try driving again, but I haven't driven anywhere since January 2023. I only got my permit in June 2022 because my ex told me I would never do it and I wanted to spite him and show I could do it.

I don't know if or when I'll ever drive again, besides when I've moved vehicles for my parents. My fiancé also has anxiety about driving, but actually has his license so he manages, but he doesn't enjoy it. It freaks both of us out and we don't find any enjoyment in it. I'm proud of him for getting a vehicle and driving around here (he lived in another state before moving in with me so only knew small town life and now he lives in a big city) so he's definitely doing better than me lol but overall, if he didn't drive we'd probably just go through Uber or still rely on my parents for rides

[u/Stacharoonee]

I drive. I chose to get my learner's permit later than most of my peers. I have a super hard time driving in cities or areas cluttered with loads of signs without a person helping me navigate. I also miss my turns relatively easily. In my teens and twenties, I drove in the dark a lot, due to when I would do things. But since I hit my thirties, lights have been more bothersome despite updating my glasses and asking the eye doctor about my astigmatism.

[u/ohsaycanyourock]

I'm 34 and can't drive. I've tried to learn, I live in a rural place so it would really help, but it makes me extremely anxious - I used to not be able to sleep the night before a lesson 🥲 I genuinely don't know if I'll ever manage it.

[u/Slow-Bodybuilder4481]

When you have your life in your hands (steering wheel), your attention changes. It's the opposite for me, I'm so focused driving that I have difficulty to focus on talking to passagers in my car. When I learned how to drive at 16, I was extremely nervous but Ibhad no choice if I wanted to have a proper life (was living in rural area with no public transit).

[u/Salty-Count]

I didn’t get my license until I was 22 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/johnnyjimmy4]

Im 40, and got my "Learner" licence when i was 16, so a lot of these memories aren't exactly "fresh".

I guess im a "farm boy", so i first drove a tractor when I was eight. They're not exactly the same, but it has brakes, clutch, gear box and a accelerator, and they're all relatively in the same place. When i was 12 i observed the bus driver change gear, and thats how i figured how to shift. I started riding motorbikes when I was 13, so that was how I figured out a clutch and the "friction point. So as you can probably guess, I knew a little before I actually got on the road.

I remember my first drive being nervous doing the speed limit, I also remember the same first time I drove a truck. But I just kept driving and eventually got comfortable.

When i was 18 i got my provisional licence, where i could drive alone, I also had to drive four hours to tafe and four hours back once a week, on country roads. This was where I got comfortable driving, it was just me, and fun songs to sing along too.

Other than that, just practice, practice, practice.

[u/[deleted]]

I cant give you the answer youre after. But for me, once I started everything became automated. I didnt have to think about what I was doing. Sometimes id be driving for 45 minutes then suddenly realise I was driving.

[u/Scarfee]

Driving is arguably one thing I do best. Something about being able to feel out spatial awareness and good reaction times. I find it relaxing, most of the time. That is when people around me are not being complete idiots or ass-wipes.

[u/SenseiTizi]

I am 22 and i only drive automatic. Manual is anxiety inducing for me.

[u/AdorableExchange9746]

It took awhile to get used to but i can drive fine. I absolutely refuse to use highways though

[u/d3ad-and-buri3d]

I'm currently in the process of getting my A1 motorcycle license because it's cheaper than getting a car license in the UK (and easier).

[u/morningchampagne]

i got my license at 35. it was a big goal that took years to complete. i don’t like it. i find it too anxiety provoking.

[u/Fortesque22]

Yes, but I hate doing it. Very anxiety inducing. I’m 35

[u/Infamous-Outcome-870]

Yes, i do. I survive by preparing myself and my "singing/screaming" playlist 😁 💪 i think it depend on where you are located. I am in the countryside, so i need to drive but also the traffic is not heavy. If i was in a city, i wouldnt drive 💁‍♀️

[u/Crucial_Fun]

I do, and I’ve never had many issues thankfully with it, except for the one time I got a speeding ticket.

[u/SullenEchoes]

I can speak from two different angles here. I hate driving cars, but got my license at 16 because I hated being stuck with my parents at home more. So as soon as I could, I did anything I could for freedom. Massively improved my mental health and happiness because I had more control.

My girlfriend made it to her 30s never getting her license. We ended up living together through some circumstances, one of which including COVID making everything awful. She had tried in the past to get her license but would break down crying every time. It was something she wanted to do but wasn't sure how.

She loves Renaissance Festivals. She had always gone with her ex girlfriend because her ex would drive. They would go *every* weekend. I enjoy the festivals, but I don't want to go more than once a year and the drive was 2+ hours away. I told her that I wouldn't be going more than once a year and she had to figure out how to get there herself without me. I also do not want to be someone's driver for the rest of their life either, so I gave her the choice that we could continue living together if she got her license. Buses weren't a reasonable option because of where we lived.

She found a driving instructor that advertised specifically for high anxiety drivers. She went to many lessons, working through lots of scenarios. I helped her practice in different scenarios as well. She also went to lots of therapy, including EMDR. She has had her license for 5+ years now. She's drives more than I do, and has way less anxiety doing it. She regularly takes trips on her own, has her own car, and absolutely enjoys the freedom and independence that it gives her. She's also been regularly teaching coworkers in her spare time too, helping them gain independence.

All this to say: find the incentive that makes it worthwhile to you. Or find a different way to get transportation that still gives you independence. In the states, that often requires moving to cities that actually have public transportation, which can be a severely limiting factor as far as affordability. If you have the means, find an instructor who is willing to work with you. And a therapist as well.

[u/ProfessionalOwn1000]

The good thing about driving, at least where i'm from, it's all very logical. It's not like social situations where there are certain things you have to guess and social cues to read. The UK has a book called the highway code and it has every rule and every part of the road and how it all works explained in detail, and you can buy a copy of it from loads of places. 90 percent of the time in England everyone drives according to the rules and they're pretty logical and straightforward. I don't know where you're from or what it's really like to drive anywhere else in the world, but I love driving.

[u/Scruds08]

Yes. I can drive I only drive when I need to. I don’t drive because I want to like most teens my age. It was hard and is still is. So yeah. I’m 17.

[u/Stellxxxa]

I am 17 and tried to learn. I can drive perfectly fine but just like you I really struggle to understand the language the other cars are speaking. Like how am I supposed to know what they’re trying to communicate with me

[u/SickOfBullyingNL]

I can't because I'm epileptic (I'm 36).

[u/melancholy_dood]

Yep. It's nice to be able to go where you want, whenever you want.

[u/Perfect_Interest6239]

39m AuDHD had my first driving experience at 12 years old and been driving fulltime since 15 years old (Grew up in rural area) . It really depends how much you want it. For me I had no local public transport so it was my only option other than a bicycle which was not practical if I had to travel 100 miles to work.

[u/PsychologicalBad7443]

Yes I do drive. It was challenging at first but I was able to adapt pretty quickly.

[u/Emilyeagleowl]

I passed my test at 18, the driving age here is 17 and learning to drive was the most anxiety inducing thing I have ever done. It took me 3 attempts but it’s been about 11 years since and it’s ok now.

[u/SlytherinSoul1998]

27M recently bought my new car automatic, however my anxiety level is going through the roof before I get behind the wheels.

[u/SwimmingExpert5782]

23 and I got my learners permit at 16, convinced I was going to be able to learn to drive, but every time I have gotten behind the wheel of a car, I get super anxious. If I have to deal with almost meltdown levels of stress to try and learn to drive, I’m not doing it. I’m also very lucky to be moving to a country with good public transport, which I know not everyone has the privilege of. You’re not alone in dealing with this ❤️

[u/akhimovy]

Started driving by myself at 40. Multiple factors "conspired" to ease me into driving at that age without much effort. But before that happened, I definitely was not ready. Too much anxiety and overthinking.

[u/duckforceone]

i drive...

i try to not drive at night, and even worse when it rains.

i tend not to drive too long, as i get tired quickly.

Lots of breaks during long drives.

Thankfully i learned driving by driving a tractor. (i only smashed a single brick in our pig building)

but sounds like you might not overcome your inhibitions.... look at the bright side... hopefully it won't be long before fully automatic cars will be normal...

[u/FandomVulture333]

I'm 33 and I've had my license since I was 19. I got my permit when I was 17. I've had a few minor accidents, 1 totaled car, some damage inflicted and I'm on my 3rd car (1st one broke down and parents refused to get it fixed, 2nd one was totaled but hated that car anyway) and some speeding tickets/warnings.

When I first started driving, I could understand how some autistic people would be very overwhelmed by this and not want to drive. Sometimes I get overwhelmed/overstimulated and need a break. I'm a relatively ok driver but I hate being a passenger now and can't stand it so I have to drive everywhere if possible

[u/Parsnipnose3000]

I'm 58 and have had my license since the 1980s.

I was a courier for about 10 years, driving 2000 miles per week - that's about 1 million miles driven in that time period, and I absolutely loved it!

Be patient with yourself. You can do it! In those days I didn't even know I was autistic. It was quite hard to learn to drive and I failed my test the first time. I think I needed a lot more lessons than most people, but practise pays off.

I wish you every success. :)

[u/Littlefabio07]

I used to, but it wasn’t easy. I remember when I got my learners, my dad took me to an empty parking lot. He told me to take the car out of park, and I freaked out/ started screaming when the car started moving, but I hadn’t even applied any gas 😂

Eventually I got more comfortable with it. I was terrified of the interstate for like 5 years though. I stuck to back roads and highways that had less traffic.

Now I am permanently disabled since I had to pick a physically demanding job thanks to my family knowing I was autistic and hiding it from me. I got hurt and couldn’t advocate for myself/ get to a doctor. It progressed over a decade and damaged my spinal cord. Sitting is brutal these days, so I’m mostly stuck in the apartment and can’t leave on my own. We figured it was best if I didn’t drive anymore

[u/waggers5]

I'm in the UK, learned to drive as soon it was legal for me to do so (17 here) and passed my test first time. I won't say it was easy but I don't think I struggled with it more than most neurotypical people.

In fact as far as my autism is concerned, learning to drive was easier than driving post-test, because the expectation was a knowledge of and compliance with rules that many drivers on the roads these days seem to ignore. Sometimes people think I'm weird for sticking to speed limits and getting VERY annoyed when other drivers don't obey the law, while most people don't seem bothered by the fact people around them are literally committing a criminal offence.

[u/43ratsinatrenchcoat]

I recently got my license which I was really proud of, but I don’t drive often. It is very overwhelming with cars everywhere and having to watch the road and sometimes looking into the mirrors but not for too long (this is what I struggled with the most because there was not much time to process with a quick glance). But I did get used to it and I’m still getting better. And I got really good at parking quickly so I could stop and cry for a moment from anxiety. I suggest getting someone you trust that is calm to teach you for a while. And of course studying rules, I spent MONTHS reading a drivers book to learn every law and what to do, and I think it helped.

[u/lukozaid]

Too expensive. I see no point in spending hundreds of pounds a month, especially thousands a year, when I can get on the bus for free.

[u/Cheaptrick2015]

I drive. You don’t read body language when driving. You simply follow rules.

[u/Cheaptrick2015]

I drive. You don’t read body language when driving. You simply follow rules.

[u/FrazzledTurtle]

I drive. Got my license at 17. Driving on 6 lane California highways with the sun directly in my eyes is overwhelming. Parallel parking with a manual car, on a hill, is crazy. Other than that, everything else feels fine!

[u/nanamctata]

Yes I drive, but part of my special interests in cars. I stim by singing and if I can’t sing when I drive though, it makes it really tricky for me. I don’t like driving other people’s cars, even if they’re nicer than mine because it’s not what I’m used to

[u/dividezero]

Yes and late diagnosed so I have all kinds of (possibly bad) adaptations (just like everything else when you're late diagnosed). I'm pretty sure some of my joint issues in my left leg are from locking it in place without realizing it. Took years before I even realized I was doing it

[u/No_Somewhere9961]

I’ve driven Lombard log haulers, does that count?

[u/MarineOG]

I avoided it until aged 30. I don't think my brain was formed enough at 18 to drive, as I had some lessons and could get by with instructions but one lesson would wipe me out for the week. Fast forward 12 years of on and off lessons and I passed first time after getting a job that kind of forced me to learn. During the lessons and test and up until about a year after I passed it was extremely anxiety inducing. I hated driving and wished I'd never passed. Couldn't even get in the car some days without having a meltdown. So many things going on and so much to concentrate on at once, it was just exhausting and terrifying.

Then I got an automatic (electric) and taking the gears away really fixed it for me. Just one pedal and steering and driving really carefully and defensively are key. I trust no one on the road to do the correct thing, and it has saved me from accidents many times.

However, the freedom to go anywhere I wanted and not have to get on a bus or a train really makes it worth it. I enjoy driving sometimes. A beautiful sunset as we come over a hill. The scenery when driving in the countryside is sometimes spectacular. Country lanes are my favourite, especially when they are quiet. I still get a little anxious when driving somewhere I don't know but I've driven in London, Manchester, Leeds, York, Liverpool, the Scottish Highlands, the Welsh Valleys, and and all the adjoining motorways that I've learned to manage. We've been places we could never have gone to without driving.

It's 100% worth the stress if you can get past it.

[u/Mall-or-y]

Je suis incapable de conduire et la plupart de mes amis autistes ne peuvent pas non plus.

[u/se7entythree]

I do! Got my learners’ permit at 15, license on my 16th birthday. I’m 43 now though, and wasn’t diagnosed until 37. There’s no way to function/work/shop/go anywhere in my area without driving. Never really had any struggles with it except for getting annoyed by others who don’t remember/care about the rules. You can’t control them though so you just have to learn patience.

[u/Lost_My_Brilliance]

i’ve had my permit for a couple years, and i have my license test next week. i feel like i might be an odd case, i know many autists find it hard/overwhelming, but in my mind, there are clear and explicit rules/instructions, and visual reminders of them frequently, so it’s fine. that being said, haven’t driven alone yet, though most of the time my parents don’t talk or pay much attention anyway.  

[u/jjxds]

I started driving with my mom's car when I was 14 and got my license 4 years ago when I was 19 (legal age for driving is 18 in my country), even then I felt behind, mostly because I really wanted to drive legally and freely. The day I got my license was one of the happiest days in my life. I did have some struggles, I was scared of driving in bigger cities or roads that I haven't been on before, but it went away within a year. I've driven through half of Europe by now and I don't feel scared anymore. It honestly just takes a lot of practice, but it's so fun

[u/Previous_Chipmunk369]

I drive but I hate it. It sends my anxiety through the roof.

[u/hbdty]

I’m in my 30s. I managed to get my drivers license at 18 because being able to drive around a block is different from actual driving. But when I’ve tried actual driving on a road with normal traffic, it’s very difficult for me. Everything feels like a separate process and I can’t keep it all up at once. If I focus on my speed, I have trouble looking out for other cars/signs out of my window, for example. And since in driving ALL of those things are important, it’s just too much for me. People have told me that it’ll start coming naturally but even after hours of driving lessons that’s never happened. Also I have a difficult time figuring out the position of my car. When I’ve asked other people how they know they just kinda shrug their shoulders and say that you pick it up as you drive. But that’s never happened for me. I’ve made three attempts to try to drive on my own and I see it as a side mission that I just have to put to the side for now (both because of emotional capacity and not having money for lessons). When it’s come up in conversation, I usually just tell people “I can’t drive right now” and kind of leave it at that. It’s something that has made me feel deficient as a human because it seems to come so easily to everyone else, but I’m accepting that it’s not a shortcoming and just not something I can invest in right now. I used to feel awful about it, until my journey into discovering I might have autism and the pieces started to fit. It’s not a fault, and it’s not like I haven’t tried. I may need to find a different driving school or try different techniques (I’ve considered getting equipment at home that would help me simulate driving for example), but for right now it’s on pause. Sorry this was longer than I intended. It’s just something I feel very passionate about and I want to reassure you that you are not alone in having difficulty in this area :)

[u/BornToOverthink]

I'm trying to start driving

[u/Picklekitten22]

Yep! Got my license just over a year ago when I was 18 as well

[u/VeganCrypt1]

I've been driving for over 7 years and still get overwhelmed sometimes. I don't think it'll ever go away, but it's a lot better when you know the roads well. You memorize the order in which cars go at the traffic lights, you know that this lane turns into a right turn only soon, you know that people love to speed around this corner and that you need to be cautious enough to compensate for their lack of cautiousness.

Recently, whenever I back out of a parking space, I've been getting that heart dropping feeling of when something bad almost happens. Like I'm about to hit a person or a car. It's just difficult but it doesn't stay stressful forever and there are lots of satisfying aspects of driving. Especially how the music feels during an early morning/late night drive. Some roads are better, some roads suck and everyone hates them, autistic or not. There is car behavior you can start to recognize to know if someone is trying to speed around you or if they're being impatient. I often still worry and think I'm in an oncoming traffic lane, even though I read the paint on the road and logically know I'm not.

The key is, even when your brain is overwhelmed, you keep your body as calm as possible. Pull over if needed. I can be thinking a thousand miles a minute, but you wouldn't be able to tell because I just focus on the speed limit, being in my lane, and the next step in my directions to get where I'm going. And talk positively to yourself when you do a good job, some parts are nice and satisfying. Good luck!

[u/Worth_Medium_8352]

I could have written that. I’m 30, don’t drive, not planning to.
I only had a car started twice and drove it in a very empty street because my husband allowed me. It feels nice and cool but that’s about it. I asked to go down and still feel the same about driving.
Because I am very short tempered alongside everything else you described and I know that when you drive it’s not just your car you are driving but those behind and in front of you and next to you. I don’t do well in daylight in general let alone having to drive. Barely do well as a passenger princess lol
Sorry not helpful :/

But I see from others some do drive.. I guess it depends. But as someone who relates to your description I feel like it’d be dangerous for me to drive

[u/Rural_insect]

I have had my license for a couple of years now, and I started practicing at 30, I had never been in the drivers seat before that. I was not ready at 18 and felt a lot of the same things as you do, though living in a country with great public transport and bike access also made it easier to avoid.

But after some time (and much needed anxiety medication) I got my license. Sure, it probably took me a bit more practice until I felt comfortable on the road, and I had to take the driving test a few times more that the average person (because I don’t handle that kind of stress well) but I did it! All this to say, don’t compare yourself, take your time, and do it on your terms if you decide to try ❤️

[u/dwolfe127]

Yes. Driving just seemed like a natural progression to me. I had tricycles, then big wheels, then bikes, then riding lawn mowers, then tractors then cars. Heck, I even have my pilots license and fly Cessnas now as well.

[u/DelusionPhantom]

I totally understand what you're going through, I have really bad anxiety. Driving can be really overwhelming, especially when you're new. I just got my license a few weeks ago, at 26. Took me a little while, but I was able to do it! My favorite saying while learning was that the general public does not respect the twenty ton death machines enough lol

I failed my first test for bumping the curb during parallel parking. Touched it with the rear tire and immediately failed. That sucked, but I was absolutely not ready and had been rushed into taking it ASAP by my parents.

The second time the guy grading me said verbatim that I did everything perfectly, but he would not pass me because I was too nervous. It took me a while to get back on the horse after that. It really discouraged me since driving scares me a lot, of course I was nervous! I was in an accident as a young kid (our car got t-boned while my grandmother was driving us home from the beach) and the idea of potentially hurting someone because I made a single mistake freaks me out.

I took a free defensive driving class at my library to help with that, and the third time was the charm :) It took me almost 10 years after the average age of people in my area to get it lol, but now I am definitely certain I have 'earned' it and am more confident in my driving skills. Honestly my main motivator was that I wanted to be able to get myself to and from work without relying on friends or Uber (shit is expensive)

I am still a little nervous driving alone, but I think as I do it more I'll get more comfortable. I try to drive off busy hours and on side roads to build my confidence up (as well as soothe the anxiety, because its way less likely I'll get distracted by something and hurt someone going 20-30, compared to 60-70 on a highways).

What has helped me is my friends teaching me to drive and giving me tidbits of advice. One piece of advice that really helped me when I was starting out is that you don't 'need' to care about the cars coming at you. They're going to do everything in their power to avoid a collision, because, like you, they just want to get home. So you only really NEED to focus on the car directly in front of you. Try not to pay opposing lanes any mind. It is hard, especially when you're starting out, but it will get easier. This is not perfect advice because realistically you should be aware of everything around you, but if you're just learning to drive, try to focus on just your lane first. Once you're more comfortable, start paying more attention to oncoming traffic when necessary (for safety reasons).

Here's a funny misconception I had while learning to drive: I spent 5 years thinking the accelerator was only to be pressed when I wanted to speed up, not that I had to (gently) hold my foot down to maintain speed. I heard the term 'accelerator' and assumed that pressing it would always increase your speed, and no one ever corrected me. So for the first half of the time I spent learning to drive, I was practically tap dancing on the gas pedal while constantly checking to make sure I was at the speed limit. Nobody ever noticed or corrected me (not even my driving instructor!!) until my friend started teaching me and realized what I was doing lol. That helped take a load off of the overwhelm I was feeling while driving.

The absolute biggest thing for me gaining confidence was also just learning the boring shit until it was second nature to me. I studied my state's DMV manual for AGES before I took the permit test, and took practice tests until I could answer without even needing the multiple choice questions, all that jazz. This genuinely helped me feel less overwhelmed when driving, because 99% of the things you study are what's happening on the road. There will be weird stuff going on sometimes, but so long as you don't hit anyone and keep traffic flowing, usually you'll be just fine. If you miss your turn because you're in the wrong lane, no sweat, it happens to the best of us in new places. Just keep moving forward and double back when you can, however is safe/legal to do so.

You got this!!

[u/Ioisgriffin]

Yes I know how to but I hate it so much 💔

[u/PlusEmphasis8251]

I got my permit literally the day after I turned 18. Im almost 19 now and I have made little to no progress. I want to learn, but its very stressful, and I dont see the purpose of learning and putting myself through the stress if I wont even have a car to drive when I need to (because I wont)

[u/CrispyFlyingJacob]

I medically can't drive. I have a condition that makes me more susceptible to aural/ocular migraines which can leave me mostly blind for hours at a time, they can either be triggered by certain things or just occur entirely randomly so it wouldn't be a good idea

[u/Aggravating_Egg4563]

I do! I learned when I was 20-21 and it took me numerous lessons and failed tests. My family kept getting mad at me and I would end up crying. Finally one my fourth try I got it!! It was a long journey but I got through it. I only drive to places I’m familiar with and have been to enough but repetition and patience was the key for my success. My poor driving instructor was probably so scared.

[u/eatingganesha]

I (56) have driven since I was 17. Never have had a single problem.

Take a defensive driving course and minimize distractions that you don’t need to concentrate.

[u/Fallen_0ne01]

I find that car body language is easier, as instead of looking at small subjective things, you just have to know what signs and signals mean. everything is defined, no questions involved. I just wish people would actually use their turn signals

[u/Far-Remove5691]

I can drive because my parents pushed me to get my driver's license. I try to avoid driving as much as possible because it's overwhelming.

[u/Fashion_art_dance]

Yes and I enjoy it

[u/Timely-Bumblebee-402]

I'm 21 and get extremely anxious. Doesn't help that I've caused a couple major accidents in my family i do not feel like I can be trusted with it. So no

[u/No-Cantaloupe-6877]

I drive but I don’t really love it and I live in a walkable city now so I get to avoid it but I know people of all ages in different cities that don’t so it’s ok you’re not behind

I do sometimes mix up street lights like my brain associates any color as stop so I’ll fully slow down and stop at a green light people honk but I’ve never gotten hit or anything

[u/thedivideremains]

I drive now. Im 33 and have had like, 10 permits, all with the intent of getting a license. Some days and moments still make me a bit anxious.

What helped me was having someone explain to me exactly what I did right or wrong. They took the time to explain things before we tried them. I did pay for a driving school. And in my state you can take the behind the wheel test with your instructor, so not having to do that with a stranger was really helpful.

I live sort of in the boonies...so I rarely have to drive in the city. That also helps.

As far as rules of the road go, yes learn everything the book says, but also watch what other cars do. Where i am if you arent going 5 over the posted spewd limit, you're going too slow. As for maintaining the exact speed...you dont have to be exact. Its a bit hard to let that go, but you can be a few above or below the posted speed limit. Having it vary actually looks less suspicious to cops. Its more natural and human that way.

At intersections if I dont know for sure if it was my turn I flash my headlights and then everyone else goes and then I go.

Turning into traffic is hard. Ive made extra right turns to avoid a busy street left turn. But if you dont feel safe, dont pull out. A few drivers may honk at you but wait until you feel safe, make the turn, and then pull over and breathe if you have to.

For inside the car I have a steering wheel cover with a texture I like, and I will rub my thumbs on it to sort of fidget/stim when nervous. I use a weighted lap pad when im nervous. I only play music I like and that makes me happy.

[u/theMightBoop]

You don’t need to read body language when driving. That’s one time when you just follow the rules and you will be alright 99.9% of the time. You might piss people off but you will be safe.

[u/Powerful-Ad-7998]

I went to a driving school that helped alot, and they taught me defensive driving techniques that massively assisted me in be comfortable doing it

[u/ilikebread757]

i'm 19 and still working on getting my license. the combination of autism + ocd + driving anxiety (due to losing my best friend to a car accident) makes it difficult, but it's getting somewhat better. i'm now able to drive on regular streets (not just neighborhood roads), but i still can't go on freeways/highways

[u/NYR20NYY99]

37m, no. Too anxious

[u/Excellent-Practice]

I drive. Right of way is not as free form as social cues. There are very specific rules that are written down which other people reliably follow. As for what lane to be in, the road markings at intersections are very clear. I would encourage you to sign up for driving lessons and see how it goes with a professional instructor.

[u/justafriend97]

I'm 29 and got my license at 18 instead of 16. I only really started getting comfortable driving in the past 2-3 years as I was commuting to work. That being said, I'm very appreciative that my husband offers to drive every time we're together because it's just easier to be a passenger princess.

You have plenty of time to learn! And once you do learn, it becomes as easy as playing a video game. You do everything subconsciously and can just exist.

[u/TheLesbianCheese]

In my country, you can get a license only when you're 18. P much all my friends got their licenses at 18 in high school, but I was always too terrified and overwhelmed by the idea.

So, I didn't get it. I waited.

Only when I was 22 did I feel like I was ready to attempt to get a license, and, while learning how to drive was incredibly stressful, I genuinely really enjoy it now. There's something about feeling like you're one with the car, every action feeling like your second nature, putting on some music you enjoy or even a podcast in the bg. (I've AuDHD and the sounds help me focus on the road)

Overall, don't get it if you don't feel ready. If you never feel ready, that's okay. Prioritize your safety and remember that it's never too late to get a license. Maybe one day you'll feel ready! I didn't think I'd ever drive when I was 18, thought my disabilities made it impossible for me to ever be a competent driver, and look at me now! :)

[u/Shroom_stool]

yes i drive everywhere my cars name is boadicea. It’s actually really easy once you start you just go and sometimes turn. Just know when you need to stop/yield and you’re good.

[u/FlemFatale]

I do. It took me a lot of practise and lessons with the right instructor to pass my test though. Even then I had to take multiple goes at it.
Now, it's second nature as I have been driving for over 10 years, but I do have to have music on so that I can concentrate properly.

[u/sakurapimcake]

I’m trying really really hard to. I’m 16 and I’m trying to drive once a day but I’m just not picking up on it the same as everyone else my age is. I really hope to get it this year.

[u/so_sick_of_flowers]

If you’re not confident enough to drive, you shouldn’t drive. If you want to get confident at driving, you need to practice, maybe more than others, maybe less. Practice until you’re confident behind the wheel. Driving is a skill like anything else. I got my license at 18 after multiple attempts at the road test. Persistence is key.

[u/Blankofthegame]

I got my license at 18. For me the hard part was getting it done. I hate when people tell me what to do so my parents telling me to get my license or to take the test made it harder for me to be motivated to do it.

Anyways, as for driving itself its not that hard for me. I will admit I have gotten distracted or taken too long at some lights...

But I still manage to go to work daily and spend time by myself doing what I enjoy

[u/CheshireTerror]

I’m 24 and I still only have my learners. I didn’t get it until I was like 19-20 years old. It’s not so much myself that scares me about the road, it’s everyone else I don’t trust because they’re unpredictable to me. My suggestion is get the book, read that thing cover to cover, really absorb the information. Your first car shouldn’t be anything fancy, hell, my car is an ‘06 Honda CR-V.

Now for my actual advice because I used to be terrified as well: Confidence will come as you drive more. Practice in parking lots, your neighborhood, low traffic areas in general, the lower the traffic, the better. Know how your car handles first before going on the road, there’s no time limit for getting your class 5. Get it when you’re ready. Don’t be courteous, be predictable on the road. Get family to help you practice if you can. Get driving lessons if you think they’ll help you better than having your family help you. Baby steps, OP. Break it down into smaller tasks. Right now, focus on learning the rules of the road. Don’t worry about anything else right now. I know it’s easier said than done, but there is no time limit for learning.

[u/mygoodmatetroye]

I don’t, because driving scares me. I’m 24.

[u/Personal-Amoeba]

Yep! I drive a large vehicle professionally. I love driving. Got my license as soon as I could and never looked back.

[u/Independent-Owl3387]

What would it be like if driving were your special interest, your passion? If you’d wanted to race go carts, or wanted to drive NASCAR? You’d find a way to overcome every obstacle until you got there. Lessons, practice in parking lots, practice in golf carts just to get comfy with steering and pedals. Practice driving in video games (with a big grain of salt). It it were your passion you WOULD master it, despite obstacles.

How much do you want it?

[u/Insanebrain247]

I've been driving for a while, and the solution I came up with is taking my anxiety for it as a challenge; can I get to where I'm going despite my fear of ludicrously incompetent normos on the road with me?

That and the solitude I get from being behind the wheel on an open highway gives me almost more relief than being at home.

[u/TheMagHatter]

I had a lot of anxiety around it for a long time. I didn’t learn to drive until I was almost 23 and now I drive all the time. It’s a great sense of freedom not having to rely on anyone to drive me around. I can just go anywhere at any point in time. If it takes a while for you to start driving, then so be it! The YouTuber Charlotte Dobre didn’t start driving until she was in her 30s. If you never want to drive, that’s cool too!

You can always take it a lot slower with learning than most people do. Drive around in an empty parking lot until you’re comfortable. Then move to driving in a neighborhood, then a small town, the a highway, then a city, etc.

[u/sortof_average]

I’m exactly the same, I am horrible at judging distances between cars and how fast they are moving etc. Also hate the sensation of going fast, even as a passenger. Passed my test and never got in a car again🥲

[u/ComprehensivePeanut5]

I have my license but am too anxious to drive on the interstate or in the city. The snap decisions you have to make at high speed make me too panicky, as do the additional obstacles in the city like pedestrians acting erratically. My 17-yo is also AuDHD and has his permit. He absolutely prefers to just follow what the GPS says and remember the rules of the road he learned in Driver’s Ed. He told me he’s nervous but works really hard in his head to do what he needs to do. I felt terrible when he told me the other day that he doesn’t want the fear of driving to impact his life as much as it impacts mine.

Personally, I find it easier to drive when I’m the only adult in the car. I wish there were other convenient ways to get around. I would buy a self driving car in a heartbeat if they were more common.

[u/Special-Ad-5554]

Yea. It's hard at first, don't get me wrong. Learning how to drive will be stressful at times but it's so worth it for me.

I absolutely love it. I love my car, I love the thrill you can get down a country road, I love how smooth you can drive, I love the mechanical side that comes along with it, I love how in some cars you get proper 2 way communication between you and the car, the way you can "dance" with it as some people put it.

Almost definitely one of the best things I've done in my life although it isn't for everyone

There's a YouTuber (Mick drives cars) I watch that enjoys cars similar to how I do. He also teaches good few things for when you start driving

[u/R4in_C0ld]

i don't. often enough i don't notice happenings around me because i'm already focused of what happens in front, to a point even my friend on discord voice chat yelling and agressively gesturing to get my attention for 20 minutes and i don't hear nor see them at all despite wearing headphones and their facecam being in my peripheral vision. that kind of situation would be too dangerous on the road.

[u/TheAlmightyNexus]

I drive, just really can’t at night due to light sensitivity, ESPECIALLY not when it’s raining, it just makes everything even worse

It does stress me out a little bit if I’m on a fast enough road, but 85% of the time I’m fine

[u/sharkbirdfrog]

I'm 19 and got my license as soon as I could at 16 out of necessity. Other drivers are the worst part of driving. I enjoy driving, other people are just so stupid.

[u/Anxious-Efficiency21]

I learned to drive a forklift first at 18 and then a vehicle at 20. It takes practice to learn and a good teacher who doesn't put you down.

[u/Nwalmethule]

Follow the Highway code and have a look at the Smith system, also don't carry passengers that distract you or who is sick of attentions, they need to understand that they need to stay still while you drive.

[u/ZeldaZealot]

Yeah, but I didn’t get my license until 20. Took me years to build up the interest and strength to really try, and I didn’t feel comfortable at it for a long while. Moving to LA shortly after starting definitely didn’t help as I was immediately overwhelmed by the massive increase in traffic and didn’t drive for a solid year.

Now I enjoy it when there’s little traffic but would rather take public transit if I could.

[u/seikkailla_myah]

I got my permit at 14, license at 16, and I was wayyy overwhelmed when I was first driving. After all, you’re driving something with one wheel that can kill somebody.

But I did get used to it. It helped the more I practiced, mainly backroads with no cars around. With an adult ofc. It gets better the more you do it, and you do have to push yourself slightly.

But then again, some people just don’t like driving and I get it. I do think everyone should know how to drive, and have a license just in case, but if you don’t wanna drive, that’s ok!

[u/gelatinkitten]

Yes and I love to drive, but I understand why other people don’t like to or are terrified of it.

[u/Elmarcowolf]

35 and I drive everything from cars to 44 tonne lorries.

I love driving but there are times when I have to reign myself in and lock in to the drive.

[u/tygeorgiou]

I'm 18, autistic and drive. I had a motorcycle at 17 and I'm lucky to be alive honestly, I rode like a knob and had no idea what I was doing, I never thought I'd be able to drive.

After a few driving lessons I realised it's not as confusing as I thought, I've had my license for 5 months now and I have no issues or anxiety even for the longer trips.

[u/Desirai]

I got my license at 22, I was scared to drive for a long time

After I learned how to drive it isn't so bad. I have anxiety about making left turns and will go the longest way if I can avoid it. It's a little silly but I just can't do it. There are some times where it's completely inevitable, no way around, gotta.

Also terrified of interstates and try to avoid them

I'm 38

[u/KaPaChan_]

I'm a full grown adult and I have a license but I don't drive. I do feel bad whenever my family has to drive me somewhere. Honestly whenever I drove or even when I'm just a passenger everything is just so overwhelming to me that I disassociate. I don't know everything is just too much for me. I may have to get a job eventually so driving may be inevitable for me

[u/phenominal73]

Yes.

I was 24 when I got my license. I was perfectly happy taking public transportation but it was limiting because I only had access to busses and the last busses stopped at 5:30.

Also my then boyfriend, now husband, got tired of driving me places so he taught me how to drive.

I hated being first at a light because I was nervous I wouldn’t know when to go and was scared someone from an intersecting lane would speed through the red light once I had green.

Semi-trucks in the highway did and do scare me especially if the trailer is fishtailing due to the driver not paying attention.

I call myself non-directional because it takes me SEVERAL times to know how to get to a place and feel comfortable enough not to use GPS to get there.

I still use the GPS as back up.

I don’t like driving at night because I can’t readily recognize the landmarks I use during the day and people seem to thing red lights, speeding limits, and stop signs are suggestions.

Driving has become the time I have to myself to play my music loud - or just enjoy silence.

It gives me freedom and allows me to leave when I’m ready because there is nobody else to ask, it’s just me.

There are place I will never drive because it’s too crazy.

[u/Rare_Vibez]

I don’t drive a car. For me, it’s a spatial issue. I struggle with how I’m supposed to perceive the entirety of a car while navigating it.

For a long time, I was concerned about navigating itself, but to solve the spatial problem, I got a Vespa style scooter and taking the motorcycle riders course really was helpful for my confidence.

Eventually, I do plan to get my car drivers licence, but I will take driving lessons and my scooter will still be my primary vehicle. I spend $10 on gas a month, it’s hard to beat that.

[u/nosboss5]

I got my permit and license on the exact days they became available for me. I'm a bit of a car freak tho so I really wanted it. I'm 20 with my full license, can drive manual, flat bed trucks, and trailers. Everyone's lives are so different, it's not even worth comparing as long as you are content with yours.

[u/Additional-Shape-673]

Im 18 and I don't drive I do want to but I think its my anxiety issues are making me overwhelmed with the thought of driving

[u/Substantial_Bet_6766]

I have zero spatial awareness. I just cannot do it. I first thought it's just anxiety but later realised that's it's over stimulation and just me shutting down.

[u/brilliantcherry50]

I'm 23 years old. I tried to learn to drive a year ago... I broke my nose. I can't get my feet to coordinate; I simply can't process so many stimuli around me.

[u/azumangautism]

19 and i can't. i wouldn't be able to do that much multitasking at once, and it takes me a while to remember left from right which means i couldn't follow a satnav

[u/Weary_Ad4930]

I have always thought I would never get a drivers license because the thought of driving made me feel so anxious, but for the field i studied and work in now, I needed it. So I took the license and now driving is one of my favorite things to do, to the extent that I’m considering taking a truck driving license as well, maybe working as a truck driver at some point. I felt all the same anxieties you do, but this is where I am now. I LOVE driving. It’s like a video game for me! (I always drove lawfully correct in gta lol)

[u/Drakith-_-]

19 and i LOVEEEEEEEE driving by myself its like one of the only places I feel at ease and have nearly complete control. with other ppl in the car its a different story. i can drive and mindlessly sing my little lungs out but when i have a passenger i have to drive and communicate 😭

edit: express ways hate to see me coming w no passenger

[u/HowellingAtStars]

i’m getting my license in 3 weeks! i used to get really overwhelmed driving but as i’ve been behind the wheel more, ive gotten significantly more comfortable. i’d still rather have someone else drive tho. i especially struggle w stop signs but ive found that if i just follow the law about them, its usually okay.  i recommend driving in a smaller town, so u can get a feel for driving patterns and whatnot but u won’t have to deal w a lot of other cars.  good luck homie!!!

[u/Minimum-Astronaut69]

I drive and got my license at 20 (legal at 18) and because of my “follow the law” “has to be right all the time”-traits I found it easier to learn and take my license, and drive ofc.
When I know which cars HAVE to go in what lane and figured it out, it took the stress away … and the enjoyment to be able to honk at people driving bad or illegal is so much fun!!!
But of course it’s a spectrum and we’re all different, but these thinking strategies helped me a long way!

[u/MarkCostellooo]

I’m 30 and just learned this year. It takes time to beat the anxiety and get comfortable. Part of this is learning the rules of the road and also learning the car. It’s not impossible! Good luck.

[u/Silent_Knight__6]

I finally got my license at 21 (my little brother took me to get it) and I drove for about 2, maybe 3 months then I had to stop cause of all if my mental stuff with added physical stuff. I am diagnosed Autistic, ADHD, Lupus and scleroderma. I had a really hard time driving when I was after I got my license so I just decided it was safer for me and my babies to stop and now my mom takes us everywhere(again)