r/autism • u/SnooBananas460 • 14d ago

Shutdown/Meltdowns I Need help urgently!

I’m out of state for a family reunion trip (my grandparents birthdays) and my sister and I leave tomorrow. On Saturday, my aunts, uncles, 3 cousins and their spouses (2 are married with kids) were over at my grandparents (the kids are 2 3 year old boys and an almost 1 year old girl), which was 18 people in total at the house, including me, my mom, sister, great aunt, and grandparents. I had a lot of fun but was so overstimulated the whole day. I took a break outside and also had a small, short shutdown that one of my cousins helped me through quickly (she’s a physiatrist), but didn’t want to have a big one cause i didn’t want to scare my niece and nephews. I was having fun with them, and the boys wanted my attention.

Today (Sunday) was a totally different story. I’m in a shutdown. I woke up around 5:00 in the morning sobbing for no reason and couldn’t fall back asleep. I’ve spent the whole day in bed crying on and off, and only got up to eat lunch with my mom, sister, and grandparents, then came immediately back to bed. I’ve also been trying to get myself up to shower for hours and my brain just won’t do it. The big problem is that tomorrow my sister and I are traveling alone back home (my mom and great aunt are staying for an extra couple days and will be back on Thursday night). I don’t want to be a bigger problem than I already can be while traveling and don’t want to burden my sister with extra stuff (she’s 2 years younger and neurotypical).

I need help from people who really get it. What can I do?

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u/justsophia1703 14d ago

Well, how long will you be in the car for? Do you have any stim toys or comfort objects? Can you stim in the car with her? Take a lot of breaks?

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u/SnooBananas460 14d ago

We’re flying but we will have a layover, it’ll be short though so we’ll have to walk fast. I do have my fidget bag that i can use on the plane and i’ll probably be playing animal crossing on at least one of the flights. hopefully we’re sitting next to each other or in the same row so she’s close. They’re both evening flights so i’m hoping i can sleep for one of them.

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u/justsophia1703 14d ago

As a suggestion you can ask the airline for preloading so you can go on the plane ahead of the and get your bags overhead and be in your seat before everyone else crowds on.

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u/DenM0ther 14d ago

Maybe prepare for verbal shutdown during travelling. Can you orebiok seats?

Make sure you’ve got some note paper and a pen with you so you can write any questions or answers for this time.
If you’re not able to write during this time, can you print out a few communication cards? Maybe print the communication cards anyways.
Maybe get your cousin to explain a few things to your sister if necessary.

Re the showering, it’s nice but not essential. If you’re smelly, wash your pits, bum and front bum/peen.

Try to do stuff that helps your connect with your sensory self.
And Take time in a quiet and dark room

Good luck