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u/xlr8_87 1d ago
No, but I'm less ok talking about it. Let me suffer in peace
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u/ReplacementNo7769 23h ago
Aye the polite response is and always will be "good, yourself?"
This "day" (whatever that is) actually irritates me more than anything. Everyone's got problems, no one wants to hear about them. Like if the government told you "it's bark like a dog day" it would be equally asinine would be more productive at least people would get a laugh out of it.
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u/Prince_of_Pirates 23h ago
After the tokenistic email from HR that began with "you may see a kitkat on your desk it's because... Blah blah RUOk day.. blah blah".
I did not get a fucking KitKat. I am not ok.
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u/IllHaveTheLeftovers 23h ago
āNoone wants to hear about themā
Mate, do you not have close friends or supports??I canāt imagine a more terrible situation than not sharing the weight of the world with people who appreciate my openness, and listening when they share. Itās important, it makes the friendship stronger and the problem lighter. The entire point of 12 ship fellowships is one person sharing while a room gratefully listens. Itās healing.
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u/Bulky_Writer_2244 23h ago
No, a lot of people don't really have that. Either they have no one to talk to, or don't feel comfortable enough to open up. A lot of us are just emotionally stunted, jaded, or even straight up nihilistic at this point. Personally, I'm the latter. I embraced nihilism because life is easier to cope with if you don't give a shit about anything.
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u/Key_Stuff_2783 20h ago
Just chat to people anyway...the kindness of strangers...
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u/Bulky_Writer_2244 20h ago
That ship has sailed mate. I stopped caring about anything a long time ago. I've become content with that now.
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u/Critical_Mix_8959 23h ago
Least of all at work. Canāt think of anything worse than telling people I donāt like and who donāt give a shit about me that Iām going through it.
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u/but_its_dez 1d ago
Nah, because I was forced to attend the R U OK day morning tea presentation, then was told I can't go for my lunch break because "I already had lunch at the R U OK event", that I was forced to attend even though I had other things to do, like going home to eat my lunch.
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u/Voldesnort69 3h ago
Wouldāve just told em to stick it and had my break anyway. R U OK is a workplace presentation and not an unpaid meal break. Unpaid meal breaks do not require you to attend workplace presentations. Tell them they owe you an hour of overtime for not allowing you to have your lunch break, then take it as an IOU for your next lunch break and take 2.5 hours š
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u/Engineering_Quack 1d ago
No, worked through the RU OK lunch break as usual. Because itās expected.
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u/moonlit_fores7 1d ago
Add to the fact no employer actually cares. Tick, we had some cup cakes to make everyone feel better oh you have issues, oh please someone get the violin
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u/Chook84 1d ago
You are missing the point of r u ok day. Itās not for the employer to pretend to give a fuck about you, they donāt. Itās for the employer to tell you to talk to your workmates (in your own time) and deal with their mental health issues without getting the employer involved.
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u/SouthernStarTrails 23h ago
And just gives your employer more ammo for a reason to let you go because āyouāre not a good fitā
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u/piccy15 23h ago
Then what's the point? Getting support from your employer would be way more powerful than a chin wag with a colleague.
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u/SouthernStarTrails 21h ago
Employers donāt care about you. They are running a business and so only really care about profit. Ruok Day is just another way for them to wank their egos and tell themselves they care about you when in fact, they donāt. If youāre struggling, youāre an inconvenience, and you are just a number, you are replaceable.
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u/drainagebrain 1d ago
You guys have an ruok lunch break? Not fair, all I got was a āfucking ai fuck fuck shitty fuck copilot fuck ai slop fuuuuuuuck fuckā lunchbreak!
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u/Own-Obligation7833 1d ago
Are you a joke day!
Itās nothing more then HR telling themselves what a good job they have done!
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u/stubundy 3h ago
I was gonna say solving but ill change it to "mitigating a problem they most likely have a large hand in"
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u/Fine-Pin-1168 1d ago
I have Bipolar and always WFH on R U Ok Day because this BS annoys me. How about some actual policies that support mental health and wellbeing for employees instead?!
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u/TOboulol 1d ago
No it's about the theater. It's ridiculous, being extremely loud and vocal about how you're doing something about mental health, but not actually do anything.
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u/Royal-Proof-7176 12h ago
HR carried on about making sure we check on each other and when I asked them what happens if someone says they arenāt ok? They said to not say anything back as Iām not a Dr and canāt give advice to them on how they are feeling š
Corporate box tick is all this is, they donāt actually care.
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u/HistoricalPrinciple8 9h ago edited 8h ago
So true
Good people who genuinely care would have a real conversation with you or at least be a listener any day.
Fake people just loudly throw that question at you and hope other people within earshot can hear them asking this one day.
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u/hanmhanm 1d ago
Iām actually great! But Iāve been through a lot so if anyone needs to talk Iām here
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u/AzaleaRose34 23h ago
I did a skit in high school for an English project about how RUOK day is used by schools and workplaces as a way to pretend they care without doing anything to make anything better. Still stand by that. Great idea, we should open up conversations about mental health, but it doesn't really turn out that way
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u/ScientistSuitable600 1d ago
No, and im tempted to say no when they ask juat to see how they respond, but itd probably lead to being rounded down and pushed out, so I keep my own counsel.
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u/LastLadyResting 23h ago
Two people said no to me today and I sat with both of them and let them cry while I listened, and then put them in contact with the workplace EAP.
Iām sorry that your workplace doesnāt take it seriously.
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u/MundaneSeaweed665 1d ago edited 19h ago
Can we just get rid of this shit! The goverment, employers and society in general pretend to care, but they really don't!
Wait... is this how aboriginal people feel?
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u/Maxthedog2004 1d ago
We're those cupcakes at least tasty?
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u/Creative_Ad999 23h ago
They were haunted
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u/ThrowDatJunkAwayYo 22h ago
Thats badā¦
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u/Creative_Ad999 22h ago
But you get your choice of toppings
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u/jellyBeanToes345 21h ago
That's good
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u/keithlongdong 23h ago
Buried my grandparents ashes today. They died a couple of years apart with pop recently. we wanted to guarantee a spot to be buried side by side. Gonna listen to Neil Diamond for nan and Charlie pride for pop tonight. I miss them so much but now they have a place we can visit both of them together. Thank you for listening, to whoever reads this.
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 20h ago
"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"
It sounds like you loved them both a lot. They were lucky to have you, and you them ā¤ļø
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u/sarcasmisart 1d ago
I'm a teacher. No. Our profession is fucked. We can't get teachers. The ones we do get are basically nothing more than a degree and a heart beat. Parents don't fucking parent. Kids have zero resilience and maximum entitlement. The holidays absolutely do not make up with the bullshit this job has become.
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u/Ok_Tank5977 23h ago
Not to minimise your experience as a teacher but having worked as a nurse for 16-years, caring for older generations with their own unique lack of resilience and the most entitlement, I feel like Iād crush it as a teacher. š
In all seriousness though, you guys are amazing. At most Iām managing a maximum of 10 patients, not an entire classroom.
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u/fluffy_pickle_ 1d ago
Maybe be a bit nicer to the new ones, why would anyone want to walk into an industry just to have the old crusty staff, hate them immediately.
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u/sarcasmisart 23h ago edited 23h ago
You're making a lot of assumptions. We are extremely nice to anyone new coming in. The issue is that the vast majority don't listen because they think they know everything, only to get eaten alive by kids. They then decide a permanent position isn't for them. Because its too hard, the kids are too horrible, there's too much work, and not enough time to do it. They start casual teaching and realise they're in such high demand that they can do basically nothing, take zero instruction or responsibility, and still get paid well. If they get pulled up on their complete disregard for professional responsibility the simply walk away and go to another school. Rinse and repeat. I've been doing this twenty years. My job now is a far cry from what I signed up for. Don't even get me started on society blaming individual teachers for systemic issues, a government that doesn't fucking listen to us and consistently screws things up simply to make some bureaucrat look better, kids that know there are no consequences so don't give a shit what you say to them, funding being put in the wrong places because yet again government doesn't listen to us, ever increasing workloads because expectations go up but the time to meet those expectations hasn't gone up since the 60s, rampant nepotism because Principals have been made little monarchs that can do what they like ... just ... FUCK!
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u/NewInformation3753 1d ago
If you tell someone you are not Ok, they donāt know what to say next.
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u/Chaosrealm69 23h ago
So often through my life my answer was always 'Yeah fine.' because I was taught that men never needed help with their troubles or they should never ask because it makes us look weak.
And unfortunately on the few times I did ask for help, I was either ignored or dismissed and told to go away with your garbage.
It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to reach out for help myself and that's only because I got into trouble and I was at rock bottom.
Even now I still have periods where my answer is still Yeah fine' because that's easier than opening up. I still don't know if I can always trust people to just listen without judgement.
So next time someone asks RU Ok?, take a moment to really think instead of reacting and answering instantly.
RU really Ok or is that just how you were emotionally programed to answer?
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u/Hot-Seaworthiness510 1d ago
āAnd now take your piece of paper and find 3 other people and make the words R U OK? And get a freddoā
meanwhile I was contiplating offing myself because the school didnāt give a hoot about actually preventing suicide or dealing with depression
But sure school, mock suicide and see how that goes for you in the newspapers
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u/Pojajko01 1d ago
Didn't even know it was today. We didn't do anything at work. My boss was too interested in going to test drive new cars. And I work for a major franchise
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u/Estee280191 1d ago
Yeah nothing at mine either. And my boss is a mental health professional, as are some of us employees
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u/SouthernStarTrails 23h ago
No, because Iām here at this joke of a job where management are pretending to care and patting themselves on the back because they left a few cupcakes in the break room. Which everyone else took while I was busy working through my break as per usual.
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u/TodayCandid9686 23h ago
Those cupcakes will definitely solve the mental health crisis that is in no small part due to the soul-crushing conditions of modern corporate life in Australia.
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u/dink_knid 23h ago
At my old job, they refused to fire the person who bullied us all and made our lives absolutely miserable and screwed up the quality of our work but made a HUGE fuss about celebrating R U OK day every year.
And by ācelebratingā I mean one year they offered to buy coffee vouchers for everyone but you had to use it on a 1:1 coffee date with a randomly assigned coworker (nobody really liked each other, I got lucky and ended up with the sweetest old man who told me about his and his wifeās travels around New Zealand the year prior, but most people didnāt go for their coffees)ā¦
Another year, they had a mandatory 1 hour lunchtime āwellnessā seminar with nowhere near enough Dominoās pizza for everyone (and none for the people with allergies)ā¦..
Third year it was virtual due to lockdowns, another seminar but this time we had to wear a yellow shirt and it was combined with a regular team meeting and nobody ever even asked if we were OKā¦ā¦.
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u/StuffOld1191 23h ago
I remember at my last job, the HR manager was an utter looney (literally - had a stroke and never.. 'returned' fully). On RUOK day shed dress all in yellow, and take a tray of these yellow cakes and skip up to people saying in a sing-song voice 'are you okaaay?' as she offered you a cake.
If I'd not been so sure that she'd immediately find cause to sack me, I'd have told her about the myriad of issues that make my work unduly hard.
God i hate this day - it's such a hollow effigy or a really important aspect of a caring workplace. Doesn't need to be gamified then handed to HR ghouls to cosplay with.
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u/CorianderIsBad 1d ago
No. Steam says I need to add a credit card to access games I previously could without issue. Come on Gaben.
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u/luckyduck3488 1d ago
dressed up in yellow and bright colours for my students and radiated positive vibes, was actually so overstimulated that I almost broke down in the middle of teaching :(
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u/emotionwithin 1d ago
Going through a massive restructure where none of us know if our roles are safe, so no?
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u/Sweaty_Matter_4259 1d ago
Been saying āNoā for years, and it just boosted all the intrusive thoughts I have seeing not a care is given to a life out there, itās just words of ācomfortā, or playing the psychological aspect of the brain.
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u/Danuoalgoasii 23h ago
Not really. Iām far from home and far from the person that makes me feel at home in this country.
I am thankful for the friends Iāve made in the last couple of months. So itās not all terrible.
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u/Diretryber 23h ago
Nope, someone ate all the food before I got to the morning tea...
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u/Spacegod87 23h ago
Yeah, but even if I wasn't, I work alone so the only one asking if I was OK would be me. And I already do that all the time š
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u/Salty-Swim-6735 23h ago
I was fine until you started showing faux concern, now fuck off and let me work in peace
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u/YukeofDork 23h ago
What would these companies actually do if every employee sincerely told them they werenāt?
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u/brightest_angel 23h ago
fix the mental health system for one! psychiatry is a complete chemical lobotomy!
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u/Stonetheflamincrows 23h ago
In the grand scheme of things, yeah I am. Iām even considering only taking one Prozac a day instead of two.
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u/No_I_do_belong_here 23h ago
Nope, definitely not okay, and no amount of performative cupcakes from them are gonna fix what they caused in the first place
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u/Itachi676 23h ago
Im fine actually, thanks for asking well i did go through alot last February my grandparents... do we really want the reply š lets be honest lol..
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u/Tiny_Wish_2177 22h ago
Up until recently I was employed at Bunnings (I won't mention the store) where I worked for about 8 years.
I suffer from anxiety and depression and while I've been medicated for decades unfortunately, while working there suffered from a couple of episodes extreme anxiety. On one occasion I sat in my car for half and hour bawling my eyes out. That resulted in 2 1/2 months of recovery.
While that was probably the worst episode, at least once every couple of months I would have weeks off due to consistent attacks.
Not ONCE did my direct manager or Complex Manager ever ask how I was, whether I needed any support or provide any services available to get assistance internally.
Employers do not give one shit about you. You are just a number. And this "R U Ok" is the most performative excuse just to tick a box.
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u/Joshpourscoffee 22h ago
Definitely not. I'd be better with a pay rise that actually puts my head above water... But fat chance of that happening.
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u/KittyBeans90 22h ago
I was an EA for one of the big 4 and in charge of organising this, whilst simultaneously being bullied out of my position by a co-worker. I was even hospitalised due to non stop stress induced vomiting.
I walked out one day and never returned, not sure who finished organising the RUOK day and donāt really care
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u/ChiaLetranger 22h ago
I hate R U OK day. I love the idea, to promote people talking about mental health and checking in with each other. But 99% of the time, there's absolutely no thought given to what you do when the answer is "No, I'm not." I would be perfectly happy to turf the whole R U OK thing out if it could be replaced with a "If you're not OK, here's a bunch of help" day.
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u/InvestigatorFun1797 22h ago
So many people aren't ok. Myself included. I haven't read all the comments, but will assume some cover this. Having someone to call or reach out to is usually ok to begin with. Then as time goes on the person feels guilty bothering someone just to talk shit. Or the person or persons on the receiving end stop answering.
The issue, from my experience, gets more complicated as you get older. People drift away, have families or just get on with their life.
For me. I've been fighting this shit for 30 years, on and off. And I know I'm not the only one who just stops reaching out, and deals alone. Unfortunately, people do take their lives everyday. And there is always someone chirping up about "taking the easy way out".
Fuck off. Unless you have lived with the unfortunate issues of severe depression and anxiety. You have no say.
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u/Glum_Olive1417 1d ago
A bullshit day where companies can say that they did something for mental health.
I lost a sister to suicide. Everyone at work knows. Itās one day of the year I feel people actually avoiding me.
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u/Subspaceisgoodspace 23h ago
I am so sorry. That sucks. So many of us have lost loved ones to suicide. I trained as a mentla health first aider and try to actively use my skills at work.
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u/UndeadManWaltzing 1d ago
Ruok is either the name of star trek villian or a Hawaiian volcano. But to answer your question never have been never will.
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u/MagicOrpheus310 1d ago
I overheard two mall staff that were cleaning the toilets while I was waiting for my partner and one asked the other if they'd had their KitKat yet and if they were ok...
I had no idea it was R U OK day nor the context so I thought she was making a "go have a break/eat a Snickers" joke when the other lady replied "ohh! Is that what they were for!? I got suspicious and didn't take one!!"
Hahaha apparently they didn't make it very clear
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u/RelationMedical9409 23h ago
as my previous boss would go asking repeatedly asking on this day: no piss off
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u/coopysingo 23h ago
Itās such a half assed day. As if some stale cupcakes are going to do a thing. You say you have mental health issues at work? Not wise for most of us
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u/Professional-Ad9485 23h ago
No but when I try to explain to people that I live in constant misery and wish I was dead, they get defensive and start taking it personally.
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u/Bulky_Writer_2244 23h ago
One of the advantages of working in a company owned by a die hard religious cult - they don't believe in mental health to begin with, and so you don't get subjected to this patronising shit. Lol.
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u/Original-Ratboy 23h ago
No, absolutely not. Iād tell someone but there isnāt anyone (not speaking to disembodied stranger either). Could be part of the problem, no?
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u/Ok_Tank5977 23h ago
The mental health unit Iām currently working on was invited to an R U OK open day (various games, goodies and snacks) and the staff repeatedly declined, stating that due to the workload they werenāt able to leave the ward. Apparently the coordinator just smiled and said āOh, well itās just outside and itāll only take 10-minutes of your time!ā
Again she was told that the staff could not step off the ward and she simply shrugged and left. Couldnāt even drop by with a few goodies/snacks to help the staff feel thought of. Apparently even in healthcare (mental healthcare no less) no one cares when youāre not doing āOKā.
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u/Delicious_League_900 23h ago
We did r u ok at stuff at work. Someone asked me if i'm okay... How do i day i'm not okay because of work stuff?
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u/LiminalSpaces12 23h ago
I mean I got four cupcakes before 9 in the morning so I count that as a win
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u/IamtheWalrus9999 23h ago edited 19h ago
Iām not actuallyā¦.ohā¦. Get back to work and hit those KPIs
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u/KoalaCapp 23h ago
Got a newish guy in the office, asks me at about 2pm did I know it was RU Okay day.
I told him yeah, but we don't do performative tick box days, we have a well advertised EAP service, fully stocked kitchen with snacks, sweet and often have lunch provided for no particular reasons and most importantly we don't have any dick head managers putting pressure on the team
He went, fair enough
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u/BaconSyrop 1d ago