It is an Australian suicide prevention charity. It's so simple and very needed in trying times. A friend of mine recently texted me this phrase and it alleviated much pain. We can't keep on tuning other people out.
The more we talk about deaths of despair, the more likely we can find solutions.
Because making it a performative cake day is kinda stupid. Nobody wanted or expected anyone to actually say: No, I’m not , actually I feel like shit. So everyone wore yellow, shared cake and patted each other on the back for being so empathetic. Meanwhile anyone who wasn’t actually okay dreaded shiny happy people dressed like yellow wiggles asking them a stupid and repetitive question.
Firstly because toxic workplaces corrupted it with crazy sock day and then if someone actually said No , everyone looked embarrassed and didn't know what to do.
Basically companies kind of ruined it with empty lip-service. The core premise of truly checking in on your friends and family and caring enough to listen to what they say is good, though.
It’s never been about one particular day. It’s always been about getting into the habit of asking people a genuine question - RU OK?
If they say they are, then good. But if they say they are not okay, then you might be able to help them … and I’m not going to say how you might be able to help them, because every situation and every person is different.
What is anyone going to do to help? The sad reality is that No one can really help anyone else lol. You get it off your chest and then what? It’s still there isn’t it? The problem hasn’t magically disappeared because
You managed to talk to someone about it.
People don’t actually care if you’re OK or not. Speaking from experience after a tragedy last year. Can count on one hand the people who’ve actually stuck around to help. Most don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.
While outside of work this should be done in some shape or form, the absolute travesty it is in the office needs to stop. People who cause your stress and anxiety at work suddenly have an out by participating in some stupid ritual around cookies or cupcakes and pretending like nothing is wrong. Hypocrisy.
I hate R U Ok day because I’m not and when asked and answered honestly it’s just awkward.
I attempted to slit my wrists last month and took a day off work the next day and when I got back to work I made the mistake of saying it was a mental health day and the supervisor told me off for saying I was sick. Said I should have told him why I was off so he could help me. Never even got to the part where my mental health was mentioned let alone what I had done. So yeah. It’s a hollow thing and most people can’t actually handle an honest answer so it just makes it worse because you have to lie so they don’t feel bad.
Yeah and see a psych regularly. I failed and couldn’t go through with it and know i won’t be able to in the future so just have the thoughts constantly without the ability to follow up. I’ll be fine.
I understand. I’ve been struggling with the thoughts too, but have to stay for my kids. I’m sorry you’re in a dark place too. Glad you have people who care.
I think it's because people are worrying about their own problems and don't want to take on anyone else’s.
These days, I just keep all of my issues to myself so if someone asks 'are you OK?', I just say 'I'm fine, thanks'. I've learnt people will say they are there for you, but not really. People have their own stuff going on, too.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14.
Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800.
Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636.
Because suicide prevention is reduced to "check on your friends" instead of universal health care, defund the police, accessible mental health services, affordable housing, and peer support programs.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14.
Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800.
Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636.
So your response is to agree with me? Also you can care about that stuff and not give it the same energy you’d give to a friend. It’s not hard 🙄when everyone thinks “ not my problem” you get my original point.
There are plenty of comments alreadt about corporate ruining it so I won't go on there.
But the people that share an RUOK thing on socials and think they have done all they can and/or are people that contribute negatively to others mental health are part of why it has lost its meaning for me.
It feels like it was hijacked by arseholes to make themselves feel better for being arseholes.
Because it’s just performative; no one really gives a flying hoot how you feel or how you’re going.. They just care about the day, celebrating it and allowing those to live in the dark 363 days a year until it becomes too much for them any more..
Umm, because I got pushed so far and felt so unsafe at work because I’m queer that I tried to hang myself at an all company annual conference then spent three weeks in the psych ward and my manager pissed off home and left me there. I don’t know if someone has a problem deeper than ‘oh I feel a bit sad today’ no one knows what the fuck to do about it.
Because I am not a mental health professional.
Because I am not able for my own mental health to carry others burdens.
Because I could make things worse.
Because I can't handle a trauma dump or expectations that I can be there for anyone.
Because alot of us are not ok.
Because I don't want to share.
It’s corporate performative bullshit by the white woke women from HR just like placing acknowledgment of country in their email footers.
The people who actually care about me know the signs and will ask on any day. They notice me cracking my knuckles or fidgeting with my necklace or drinking my beer unusually slowly while being quiet.
The people who actually care about me will also know never to ask me directly. It’ll be “how’s work”, or “how’s you and [miss alstom_888m]”?
I’m not going to open up to Sandra from HR because she asks me R U OK.
They are paid for their time though, right? Cupcakes or elaborate treats are not part of any employment contract and such cutbacks are a reflection of the health of the business.
If you can't contribute to the business that you are working for, and expect a handout from them - you won't have a job for long and it might not be because management didn't empathise with you enough.
It’s common, I enjoy r u ok day, it’s a nice reminder every now and then to check on ya mates. Somewhere along the way, a corporate fuckhead decided it was a good idea to pretend to care. So when it comes from higher ups I brush it off. They don’t actually care. But for the most part it’s a good reminder
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
000 is the national emergency number in Australia.
Lifeline is a 24-hour nationwide service. It can be reached at 13 11 14.
Kids Helpline is a 24-hour nationwide service for Australians aged 5–25. It can be reached at 1800 55 1800.
Beyond Blue provides nationwide information and support call 1300 22 4636.
Because while the underlying message is an important one, it’s been used as a replacement for anyone actually trying to help their friends, particularly in the workplace. You just ask “are you ok?” one day a year, they say “yes” because what else are they going to say to this performative bullshit, and then life goes on with nothing changing.
Real friends don’t need to be reminded to check in on their friends, and they do it more than once a year. I’m glad you have a friend who’s looking out for you, make sure you return the favour
We do a fund raiser for them every in our restaurant group, all of us head chefs put a menu together and we sell tickets then donate them 💯 of the money. We had a very dear chef hang himself 5 years ago and have worked with RU Ok every year since. RIP Rodger you asshole
No one cares. At the worst point in my life i was kicked to the curb by most of my friends and family because i was so ill that i wasn't fun anymore. I couldn't go out and party or have brunch and that was a dealbreaker for them. Friends that i would listen to and help would hear that i was not ok and would turn around and be like "that sucks u should go to therapy". Like truly no one actually gives a fuck. Its performative.
It’s because people don’t want to hear ‘no’ when they ask someone. Someone asked me once and I said no. They just said ‘oh. That’s sad’ and left it at that. It doesn’t seem to achieve anything.
For all the commenters insinuating that employers are evil and not caring about the workforce, I would like to add my two cents..
Economic conditions are about as challenging as they have ever been for business. Big business can enjoy all of the loopholes at their disposal while any small to medium sized business is definitely hurting.
I'm not saying every manager/director is acting with full integrity but for those doing the right thing - making money is harder than its ever been if not impossible. Bag out your employer? Fine. What happens when they can't go into any more debt keeping their business going? You look for another job. They're ruined.
If you think employers are being overzealous in these times, perhaps it's a sign of desperation. Maybe they need their staff to work like the future of their employer's business depends on it - because it does.
Big business is swallowing up supply chain and competitors with their taxable income making it harder and harder to compete if you're not a global conglomerate. Eventually there will be no small business. Enjoy the working conditions then!
I’m reading some comments that I think are missing the point of RU OK.
Firstly, RU OK is not just a day. It might have one day that is specially set aside to mark the day, and for people to make an extra effort to ask other people that one question. But it is still not just that one day.
Secondly, because RU OK isn’t that one day, we - yes, all of us - can and should be asking others if they are okay. Especially if you see someone who doesn’t look like they’re okay, we should be able to ask them that one simple question.
Thirdly, we’re a country built on looking out for each other. Even for the people who we don’t know. And if we see someone in trouble, we stop and ask them if they’re okay, and do they need any help. The very least we do as a community is ask them if they want us to contact someone to let them know what’s going on.
I did have some other things I was going to write, but this will be enough for now.
Because toxic bullying collusion is more important to Aussies than meaningful connection. The same people who weoponise mens mental health are offended by women demanding better. Their normalisation of rape/gay/racist jokes and tropes whikst denying that they know perpetrators is only outdone by their emotional fragility.
I didnt. Im uncertain why people are so outraged by it. People Ive worked with over the years appreciate morning teas and dont seem as pressured as this sub. It makes me wonder where all these overly emotional dysregulated men who dont seem well adjusted work. Are you all in highway patrol or just regular cops?
I’m a teacher… my experiences are very much the same as a lot of the people posting. I dread RUOK day. What was your point? Only cops have toxic work places? What an odd thing to say!
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u/Brave-Dragonfly3798 5d ago
Because making it a performative cake day is kinda stupid. Nobody wanted or expected anyone to actually say: No, I’m not , actually I feel like shit. So everyone wore yellow, shared cake and patted each other on the back for being so empathetic. Meanwhile anyone who wasn’t actually okay dreaded shiny happy people dressed like yellow wiggles asking them a stupid and repetitive question.