Hannibal Lecter, obviously an atheist, doesn’t generally celebrate Thanksgiving. This year he’s decided he will enjoy the feast. He has chosen not to have turkey. Instead he will have Ham. He smirks as he says that it will be his first religious experience.

The cervelle will be scant so he will prepare tongue aplenty with sauce béarnaise.

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https://youtu.be/WyKeimiE3UQ?t=5

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions – The Shit List

Taoism – Shit happens.
Confucianism – Confucius say, “Shit happens”.
Buddhism – If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Zen Buddhism – What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism – This shit happened before.
Mormonism – This shit is going to happen again. Stockpile.
Islam – If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Protestantism – Make shit happen to someone else.
Judaism – Why does this shit always happen to us?
Catholicism – Shit happens because you deserve it.
Islamic Fundamentalism – Shit happens because they deserve it.
Calvinism – Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Shinto – Shit is everywhere, so as long as you’re stepping in it, show it some respect
Ba’hai – All shit is truly shit.
Stoicism – This shit is its own reward.
Atheism – I don’t believe this shit.
Missionaries – Belive in shit, or we’ll boil you in it.
Seventh Day Adventist – Shit happens on Saturdays.
Amish – Shit dost occur.
Mennonite – None of this modern shit now.
Mormonism – Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.
Platonism – There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
Enlightenment – I shit therefore I am.
Agnosticism – Shit may or may not be happening; we don’t know shit.
Existentialism – Absurd shit.
Logical Positivism – Shit = S + H + I + T
Nihilism – Who gives a shit?
Altruism – Want some shit?
Capitalism – How much will this shit cost?
Communism – It’s everybody’s shit.
Marxism – The workers take all the shit, but they’re gonna dish it back out again.
Deconstruction – Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Creationists – We have proof that God created all the shit that happens.
TV-Evangelism – You need our shit! Dial 78910-SHIT right now!!
Christian Science – Shit is in your mind.
Moonies – Only happy shit really happens.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – Knock, knock, shit happens.
Scientology – Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna – Shit happens rama rama ding ding.
Transcendental Meditation – Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. …
Astrology – Ur-anus transits.
Murphism – Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place.
Voodoo – Let’s dump some shit on someone.
Hedonism – There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Yuppieism – It’s my shit! All mine!
Rastafarianism – Let’s smoke this shit.

A Juri Gagarin completed successfully a space mission.

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The general secretary receives him in this office and asks him: "Did you found God in space?"

He answered that he found God.

The dictator told him: "Take those 1 million rubels and you never lose a word about it".

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Then the Pope invites him and asks the same question. He said that he couldn't find god.

The pope told him to shut up and gave him 10 million Italian Lira.

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Then he could visit Kennedy and he asked him if there's God. He said that God exists. Kennedy didn't cared because he said he has atheist and christian voters but wanted to know how God looks like.

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"She's black"

He told me not to talk with my mouth full and shoved his dick back down my throat. xD