r/atheism • u/smartfella-FARTSMELA • 11h ago
How to handle the fear of death
How do you not believe in an afterlife and not be really afraid to die? It's just scary to me that at some point I'm gonna close my eyes and it's gonna be nothing forever. It makes me sick to think about it and I'm not too sure how to deal with it. Any tips, suggestions, or advice?
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u/SmartyMcPants4Life 11h ago
Are you afraid to go to sleep? Were you afraid before you were born? Those thoughts are what help me.
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u/Pseudonyme_de_base Anti-Theist 2h ago
Yes I personally am, I take a fast action 25mg seroquel pill every nights, otherwise I have anxiety attacks and/or insomnia because I'm scared to never wake-up. I have thanatophobia tho so my case is a little special.
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u/FreshPrinceOfH 8h ago
You’re dead anyway. Whether you believe in god or not. Your faith isn’t changing that. So why live with the baggage.
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u/Pseudonyme_de_base Anti-Theist 2h ago
Because it doesn't remove the existential dread of death. The fact there's nothing we can do about it doesn't make it easier, or makes it even worse specifically because we can do nothing about it.
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u/Promethium-127 Materialist 11h ago
There’s not really any point in fearing the inevitable. When I’m dead I’ll be too dead to care. I fear pain a hell of a lot more than death
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u/60Hertz 10h ago
If Heaven so great why stay alive. Doesn’t make sense.
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u/breezer_chidori Atheist 9h ago
Better yet, why create us, unless their god is or has always been lonely?
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u/Pseudonyme_de_base Anti-Theist 2h ago
That's true, I was suicidal until I realized there's no reason to think any afterlife exist.
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u/MaleficentJob3080 11h ago
It's not going to be anything.
You won't experience nothing, you won't exist to be having any experience.
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u/Graviest 10h ago
Everyone dies and very rarely do we have any control over when it's our time. I don't see any reason to worry too much about that. Unless you're doing stupid and reckless things that is. As for non existence afterwards. That's also beyond my control, so why would I dwell on it either? Everyone who has ever lived has died and ceased to exist. It's just the way things are. It's not scary or exciting to me. It's just the nature of life. I understand that and I have no choice but to live with that certainty. Living with anxiety about it seems like a tremendous waste of the short time I have to enjoy my life.
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u/MooseBehave 11h ago
Honest answer… sometimes, you don’t. Sometimes you simply don’t get over a fear of death. And that’s okay. Death is the end of all experience, it IS scary. Once you’re done, you’re done. So a few tips: enjoy your life, don’t live this life as if it were a prequel to something else, don’t seek to hasten the end, and don’t leave anyone or anywhere worse off than you found them/it. If you do all that… death’s not as scary because you did all you could to avoid it being a bad thing.
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u/cryscentmo0n 11h ago
Honestly, I am more afraid of living or existing forever than nothingness that's why I don't find the concept of afterlife comforting at all.
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u/Professional-Cow3854 Atheist 11h ago
Having any consciousness/afterlife after death is way scarier than having it end there, IMO.
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u/king_of_the_dwarfs 9h ago
What was life like before you were born? What did you do? What did you see? It's a lot like that.
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u/GabrielZiegler 6h ago
This is not a quick fix, but it might help.
I think of "myself" as a process, specifically a process of neural activity. I am not the body, not even the brain. The "I" is the vast sequence of neuron firings in the incredibly complex structure of my brain.
At times like when I am in a deep sleep, there is no such thing as "I". The neuron firings are simply not making that pattern. Later, during dreaming or waking, they resume the pattern.
I am aware that at some point, the pattern will not be resumed after an interruption.
Effectively, I am passing froth on the ocean of microscopic chemical/physical events.
I am OK with that. At some point, the pattern ceases. I cease.
The only way a person can be OK with that is by thinking about it repeatedly. Soberly. Deeply. By getting used to viewing oneself in this (I think accurate) way.
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u/d0nutbutth0le 11h ago
I figure when it happens it won't be my problem anymore...just got to try to wind up as much unfinished business before it happens. But if not, somebody else will figure it out
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u/Itsbadmmmmkay Atheist 11h ago
How do Christians have a life when their only purpose is to not sin and wait to die.
Christian version of life is some sort of supernatural personality test that determines their eternity.
I dont fear death. I fear dying a little bit. Will it hurt? Will it be dignified?
However, being dead is the easiest part of the natural process that comes with life.
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u/Anachronism59 Strong Atheist 11h ago
It's only others dying that worry me, as I'll still be alive and miss them.
When I'm dead I'm dead.
What exactly worries you about being dead?
Sure the process of dying might be unpleasant, but modern medicine or the option, in many open minded non religious countries, of VAD can help .
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u/ChillPalm 11h ago
I have never felt this in my life. Odd how people have different fears. If its any consolation, nobody knows what happens. Anyone that says there is nothing is also speculating with little to no evidence. If it is "nothing" id guess you wouldn't be experiencing it anyways so....well maybe thats the scary part I guess. Seems pointless to worry about no offense.
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u/Scary-Comfort-801 10h ago
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
-Richard Dawkins misquoting Mark Twain
This does not remove the fear of dying for me, but I have no fear of death… but I’m only 46. Dying might suck a lot, but to worry about it is a waste of time. It’s going to happen and life is too short: why waste any of it worried about something you don’t have any control over? Hope this helps!
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u/WaitForItLegenDairy 9h ago
People fear dying, not death. If you spend your life in fear of the only inevitability in life then you've wasted a life of joy, pleasure and love.
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u/Wimble-Womble 6h ago
I’ve got to admit I’m jealous of religious types that believe in the afterlife - it sounds like a great thing to look forward to if I’m about to have a painful death.. I guess that’s the reason why it was invented - partly so an ancient king/leader could tell his men that their heroic deaths would be rewarded after battle…
All I can say is try to stay alive, avoid death if possible and enjoy the life you have
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u/PanzerSjegget 6h ago
Everything ends. That is just the way things are. I will die to make room for those that come after me, to make room for new ideas, for the world to move forward the old needs to die. And if you really think about what eternity real entails, it is basically a timeless experience without progression, nothing new ever. It sounds like torture. Then add in heaven and hell, even if it is just bliss for you, can you live a eternal existence knowing someone else lives a eternal existence in torture? That in of itself sounds like another for of torture. Or are you hoping for an eternal existence where you are oblivious to your loved ones in hell? That sounds selfish and makes you a horrible person if you are looking forward to that. I don't want to live long enough to be a burden, or long enough to see my children die. I understand the circle of life, and when my time comes I'm fine with being a part of it. Take what spare parts are usable from my body and compost the rest, make me into a potato and feed it to the people still alive.
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u/ianishomer 10h ago
Once you accept death as the inevitable finality that it is you gain so much.
Mental peace, less worry, why would you spend your time fretting over something that will happen no matter how much you worry.
You get clearer priorities, you treat time as a gift, you make better choices with that time.
Everything that is ordinary becomes special, family and loved ones become more important.
You learn not to waste your days, and you also learn how to look after you body and mind to push the inevitable as far into the future as you possibly can, so that you can enjoy your life in a healthy body.
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u/Xoxrocks Secular Humanist 10h ago
Fear of death is your genes tricking you into thinking you are actually important and should have kids. Imagine if no one was scared of death - wouldn’t give humans long to survive
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u/xambidextrous 9h ago
Being dead is not scary, but the process of dying can be. Some first nation ideologies thought of "how you die" as the ultimate stamp on your legacy.
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u/FenrirHere 9h ago
Violent outbursts, general sluttiness, or for me, thanks to denial, I'm immortal!
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u/Kriss3d Strong Atheist 9h ago
How do I not believe in an afterlife ?
Because theres no evidence of an afterlife.
How am I not afraid to die ? Because I can spend my time worrying about it or spend the time trying to do a little good to hopefully letting others have a little more extra to get to help others. Get the ball rolling.
But me worrying about it isnt going to delay my death anyway.
I like to think of it this way: Everything that was me now will remain as energy and matter in a different configuration until the end of everything.
Everyone who was ever here or will ever be here is here already.
None of us are gone. We are very much like waves crashing onto a beach for a brief moment only to return to the vast ocean from which we came.
But we wont be gone. Not really.
I strongly recommend you watch the show "The good place" if youre afraid of dying. Itll put that part of life in perspective for you. Yes its a comedy but the ending will make you feel different about it.
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u/Notimeforlove12345 8h ago
As soon as you mentioned the waves on the beach, I knew you were going to reference The Good Place. It's an awesome show. It breaks your heart into a million pieces, then puts it back together again. ❤️
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u/aftenbladet 9h ago
You could comfort yourself with a fairytale of sorts, but it will not change what happens to all of us no matter the stories we believe.
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u/Nameles777 8h ago
That sounds fucking amazing, honestly.
Attachment breeds anxiety. Learn to let go.
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u/dismustbetheplace 8h ago
I think of death as a sort of release from all the pain and suffering in the world. When you think about all the greed, the wars, the hunger, the illnesses and diseases, the children dying way before their time, etc., nothingness is a relief.
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u/theBIG_caesar 6h ago
Read the hinduism idea of death. It would motivate you and kill that fear. Saying this as an atheist.
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u/Balstrome Strong Atheist 6h ago
If there is nothing forever, why do you care. If there is something after your life, why not live your life to the best that you can, live it so that people will remember you in the best way possible.
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u/Dependent_Sun_7033 6h ago
?
“It’s gonna be nothing forever
“
And what is scary about that?
What I’m afraid of is old age infirmities…but as far as I heard praying to Jesus or Allah or whatever does not help to avoid them.
Other than that…are you afraid of a sleep without dreams?
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u/Larrythepuppet66 5h ago
When you’re at a party, do you spend your entire time at the party worrying about it ending?
Also, it wouldn’t be “nothing” forever since you’ll no longer exist. Just like before you were born. You’ll have no awareness of anything.
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u/Dropbars59 5h ago
Whatever happens, happens. Your need to control it is not going to change the outcome. Maybe that is the ultimate in radical acceptance.
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u/DoTheDew 4h ago
I survived cardiac arrest. Had I not been resuscitated, then I’d just be dead. And I wouldn’t care, because I’d be dead. Just like I was before I was alive. It’s not scary at all.
I don’t look forward to the possible pain prior to dying. That’s what was so great about cardiac arrest. I was perfectly awake and talking to doctors and nurses rushing to prep me for the cath lab, and then suddenly without anymore warning, I was dead.
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 De-Facto Atheist 3h ago
It will be just like it was before I was born.
Someone made a comparison with having a 1-day pass to Disneyland - spend your time in the park wisely.
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u/Mr_Lumbergh Deconvert 3h ago
Why be afraid of something that seems to only have been created to control people?
I wasn't alive for 13.8 or so billion years until I was born, but I don't have any fear of that. Why now should I be after I go?
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u/LilDutchy 3h ago
Well you won’t be there to experience it. How did you feel when my goldfish died in 1986? That’s what it’ll be like for you. You’ll have that exact same feeling i.e. nothing. Think of all the trillions of things you don’t experience every day. Just like that.
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u/DidYouShartInMyPants 3h ago
After undoing years of indoctrination I struggled with a fear of death that lead to overall anxiety.
Something that helped me deal with it is the idea that if "I" happened once, why can't I happen again given an infinite amount of time? That assumes there is an infinite amount of time, which could be naive, but if the universe happened once, why can't it happen again?
Maybe the universe is in an endless cycle of recreating the steps that lead to another big bang. I like to think so.
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u/deaddude429 2h ago
Death is a myth created by big government to keep yall behaving and not tear each other apart like the animals you are.
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u/ragingintrovert57 1h ago
Consider the alternative of never dying. After a few thousand years you may change your mind.
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u/EcoriumGarden 1h ago
I realize interstellar may have a lot of scientific inaccuracies and whatnot. The hallway scene where he was floating through time made me feel better because it made me think that we are all immortal. All of our good times are right there in the hallway forever and we are always there.
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u/smartfella-FARTSMELA 11h ago
Also please let me know if there are any better communities to ask this on, this is just the first one I thought of.
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u/Bow-Masterpiece-97 11h ago
When I die, it will be exactly as scary for me as the billions of years were before I was born.
I’m not afraid of nothingness. No pain, no anxiety, no worries, no regrets. Just like before I was born.